Deep autumn had passed and winter was approaching, though in the warm country of Bian Tang, the distinction between autumn and winter was not so obvious. The osmanthus had already withered, with blackened blossoms clinging to the branches. The evening wind grew strong, and yellow flowers piled on the ground, scattering and swirling everywhere.
Chu Qiao was dreaming again. Vaguely, her feet were still treading on the wasteland. The sun was an intense red, and long winds blew from the horizon, rustling through the tall grass on the ground, rolling in waves like withered yellow seas. In the evening wilderness, a young man happily galloped on horseback, the smile on his face as always, the earliest image in her memory. Red fire clouds blossomed from the blood-soaked soil, swaying luxuriously under the snow-white hooves. In her daze, she heard the young man’s hearty laughter. He laughed and said: “Chu Qiao, hurry up and follow me!”
Then she ran after him. The sunlight poured intensely over her entire body, the wind blew fiercely past her ears, the future was full of bright yellow hope, just like the thousands of fantasies she had during those eight years.
But just as she was about to grasp his hand, the world instantly turned pale. Snow covered all beauty and wishes. The cheerful young man grew up in an instant, standing coldly before her, with countless Yan Bei soldiers in pitch-black armor behind him. The warriors held cold arrows, pointing at her back from afar. She turned around in panic, only to see large splashes of blood blooming on that person’s body. The ice plain collapsed, cold water spread, and she leaped into the silent deep lake, finally seeing those lonely eyes. He gave her a light kiss on her lips, his cold mouth brushing past her temples, his palm so large, so powerful, dragging her bit by bit, placing the hope of life in her hands.
The sunlight was blinding, her palm ached like fire as if words were deeply carved on it.
Blood filled her eyes, thousands of mountains and rivers collapsed before her, wild grass grew from her memories, and the earth split open with huge cracks. Seawater gushed out, and she was abandoned all alone, standing in the blazing wilderness, watching avalanches from the horizon and raging seawater surging from the east, burying her completely.
She was tired, weary, and powerless. She closed her eyes, sinking bit by bit into that pitch-black, cold graveyard.
…
When she woke up, the light rain had just stopped. Moonlight broke through the clouds, gently pouring its pale light on the sleeping chamber of Mihe Residence. The autumn air was waning, dewdrops fell on the broad, thick leaves of the parasol trees, making crisp sounds.
The great hall was vast and cold. For a moment, it seemed as if everything in the world had died, leaving only herself. She slowly sat up, her body feeling as if it had been soaked in water, sweating all over. The wind blew in, dry and cold, as if piercing through her rigid body, making her perceive with unprecedented clarity that she was still alive.
The sounds of strings and bamboo instruments came from the Roufu Palace. Li Ce was hosting a banquet for his consorts. Every night at this time, magnificent songs and dances would adorn this dazzling palace.
When Chu Qiao was first rescued back, the entire court erupted in fierce criticism. Civil and military officials cried out in remonstrance daily, with suicide protests emerging one after another. Li Ce argued with them with widened eyes for more than ten days until he finally got annoyed. During the morning court, he kicked over the throne in anger, shouting that he wouldn’t be the emperor anymore, whoever wanted to could do it.
The officials were shocked and terrified. They knelt outside the Changxin Palace for two whole days before persuading this emperor, who had gone on strike seventy or eighty times despite only having been enthroned for a few years, back to his position. From then on, no one dared to mention even half a word about Chu Qiao.
Fortunately, Li Ce’s subsequent behavior truly allowed everyone to put their hearts back in their stomachs. Apart from being particularly attentive during her medical examinations in the previous days, afterward, he acted like a hands-off manager, resuming his romantic, flower-chasing ways. Small banquets every two days, large feasts every three days—the censors finally breathed a slight sigh of relief, secretly saying that it seemed this harmful Yan Bei vixen didn’t have much charm after all. The emperor’s rescue of her was probably just another impulse, like before.
When Li Ce came in, Chu Qiao didn’t speak. He thought she was still sleeping, deliberately tiptoeing like a little thief, making the young maids outside cover their mouths in suppressed laughter, holding their stomachs, yet not daring to laugh out loud.
Lifting the pearl curtain, he caught sight of Chu Qiao sitting on the couch. Li Ce was slightly taken aback, then walked in with a smile, carrying an exquisite basket, presenting it like a treasure: “Someone sent pomegranates. Would you like some?”
Chu Qiao didn’t speak, her gaze somewhat dazed, as if she hadn’t fully awakened from her dream.
Li Ce sat beside her, looking at her still pale and thin face. His brow slightly furrowed, then slowly relaxed. He took out a pomegranate, and opened it with his hands, revealing the crimson pearl-like seeds inside. He leaned forward to look at Chu Qiao, smilingly bringing it to her mouth, opening his own to demonstrate eating, saying: “Qiaoqiao, open your mouth, like me, ah—”
“Li Ce, I’ve recovered.”
Her voice was clear as water, very calm. Li Ce looked at her. Many times he would have this illusion, feeling that everything was still like three years ago, when she was injured and staying in the Jinwu Palace, nothing had changed. But soon he would realize that things were indeed different. She would no longer confidently tell him about her ideals and aspirations, no longer talk about that man with hope, and no longer be full of hope and longing for the future. Even those eyes no longer had their former brilliance, as if covered by a layer of mist, a dim light.
“Hmm, almost recovered.”
“I want to leave.”
Li Ce wasn’t surprised at all that she would say this. He smiled with interest and asked: “Where do you want to go then?”
Chu Qiao shook her head in bewilderment, honestly saying: “I don’t know yet, but the world is so vast, there must be a place for me. If all else fails, I’ll go beyond the border.”
“If you go beyond the border, what difference would it make from staying here?”
“Li Ce, Great Xia won’t let me go. If you keep me here, sooner or later it will bring you great trouble. I’ve killed countless Xia soldiers, twice caused their northern expedition to return without success, and even personally killed the Third Prince Zhao Qi. Great Xia currently has no conflict with Bian Tang. When they free up their hands, you will have trouble.”
Li Ce didn’t answer but silently looked at her. The hint of frivolity in his gaze gradually receded, becoming peaceful, calm, and as tranquil as water. After a long time, he said softly: “You became enemies with the Jing family and the Zhuge family for the sake of their children. You served as a slave in the Sacred Gold Palace for eight years to repay Yan Xun’s kindness. You risked your life multiple times to protect the Yan Bei people. You fell out with Yan Xun for the Southwest Garrison. You secluded yourself for two years for Zhuge Yue. You completely broke with Yan Xun for the Datong Guild. Now, do you still want to go beyond the border to avoid implicating me?”
The man’s voice was deep and cool, carrying a hint of undisguised fatigue. He said quietly: “Qiaoqiao, in your life, when will you ever think about yourself?”
Chu Qiao was stunned. The night wind blew through the hall, brushing against her temples and clothes. Li Ce gently embraced her shoulders, pressing her head with his hand, naturally enveloping her, without a trace of desire. He exhaled lightly, saying softly: “Qiaoqiao, in this world, there are many ways to live. A life of poverty is still living, a life of glory and prosperity is also living, a life of mediocrity is also living, and a life of luxury and indulgence is also living. Why do you always choose the most difficult way for yourself? In your state, you might as well be an ordinary citizen, which would be better than living so tired.”
Li Ce’s voice came slowly, entering her ears. Chu Qiao leaned in his embrace, her thoughts frozen and rigid. She thought, isn’t that so? If she were truly an ordinary citizen, she presumably wouldn’t have such heavy karmic ties, such deep entanglements. Even if there were betrayals and disappointments, deceptions and abandonments, they wouldn’t be as heart-wrenching and bloody as now.
The moonlight shone in quietly, spilling onto his and her shoulders. Chu Qiao suddenly felt so tired. But Li Ce, I spent eleven years climbing a mountain. Someone told me there was a snow lotus on that mountain. But when I exhausted myself climbing up, I found the summit was bare, with nothing there. The mountain was so high, that I climbed it through nine deaths and one life. After the disappointment, how should I come down?
“Qiaoqiao, hope is in your own hands. If you don’t give yourself a chance, no one can save you.”
Days passed one by one. Winter arrived, yet Bian Tang showed no sign of winter. Chu Qiao finally settled in the Jinwu Palace. Although without name or status, in this palace, what was least lacking were women without name or status. Additionally, with her former renowned reputation, no one dared to provoke her.
The imagined pressure and revenge from Great Xia didn’t come. It was as if they also considered Chu Qiao a useless person now, canceling all previous grievances with a single stroke, not even sending a questioning envoy.
Chu Qiao thought this was very abnormal. Her current status was almost equivalent to a Japanese prisoner of war in the past. Given the current angry anti-war sentiment in Great Xia, why would they so easily give up this opportunity to kick someone when they’re down?
She went to ask Mei Xiang, who boasted shamelessly: “If they dare come, Commander He will twist off all their heads one by one.”
Li Ce’s little maid Qiu Sui put down a bowl of carefully prepared snow pears with a smile, proudly saying: “Sister Mei Xiang is right. Besides, His Majesty is so good to Miss, who would be so tactless as to come shouting and making a scene?”
But Chu Qiao shook her head, somewhat worried in her heart. It shouldn’t be this simple. Could it be that Li Ce was forced to agree to some conditions with Great Xia?
Chan’er said timidly: “I heard that it’s because some Grand Marshal from Great Xia strongly advocated for reconciliation with our Bian Tang, that’s why Great Xia isn’t causing trouble for Miss.”
Grand Marshal?
Chu Qiao frowned slightly. The Grand Marshal of Great Xia was the chief elder of the Elder Council. Could it be that Wei Guang had let her off?
She hadn’t inquired about outside affairs for a long time, spending her days in a daze, not seeing outsiders in this Mihe Residence, truly becoming what Li Ce called “living a mediocre life.”
Half her life had been tied to Yan Xun, walking through darkness and desolation, through bloody storms, through the glint of blades and swords. Now she had finally reached a dead end, reached the end of the road, unable to go any further.
Later, she asked Li Ce why Great Xia didn’t come to trouble her. Li Ce was enthusiastically showing her a scroll of portraits of women selected for the imperial selection that year. Hearing her question, he looked up, batted his eyelashes at her, and with a roguish smile said: “Perhaps the Xia Emperor still harbors fantasies about me.”
Even in her current unsuitable state of mind, Chu Qiao couldn’t help but laugh lightly, accompanying him in viewing the over three-foot-tall scroll of beautiful women, looking at those young women about her age with their flowing charm, feeling as if their gazes came from another world.
Before leaving, Li Ce stood at the door, suddenly turning back to smile at her, saying: “Qiaoqiao, think carefully. In this world, who else would be so good to you, willingly giving up many things for you, risking life and death for you, spending all their wealth for you, casting aside everything for you, saving you from danger and death, yet not telling you. Such people are rare. You should think carefully, and when you’ve thought it through, tell me. I’ll prepare a dowry for you, then marry you off grandly.”
Outside the window, the parasol trees were red and yellow, blocking the sun. Sunlight spilled through the gaps in the leaves, creating a golden scene of intoxication.
She stood in the quiet great hall, carefully thinking about Li Ce’s parting words, carefully pondering the final battle in Yan Bei: when to attack, when to defend, where to retreat, who to cover, how many armies to dispatch, how many armies to intercept, who could promptly transmit messages, who could appear thunderously within the borders, and as Li Ce said, who would be so good to her.
Sealed thoughts emerged drop by drop, like a vine, entangling her body. The moon rose, the moon shifted westward, the moon hung crescent-shaped on the treetops, the moon set, the sun rose—another splendid day.
She stood like this the entire night, repeatedly pondering and verifying her startling thought. Her eyes gradually filled with intense light, crystalline tears falling on her chest, rolling down in large drops, yet without a trace of sadness. She was caught in a net of joy and hope, her body trembling uncontrollably. At that moment, golden sunlight shone through the window lattice, falling on her pale face. She smiled like a carefree child, laughing with tears streaming down her face.
On the day Chu Qiao left the palace, the sky was still raining. She didn’t say goodbye to him, just carrying simple luggage, riding a horse out of the Zhengyang Gate. A drizzling rain fell on her shoulders, yet it showed such vibrant life.
Li Ce was still that self-willed emperor. At this moment, he was sitting on top of the National Academy Hall, wearing a dark red gauze robe, sitting on the high, raised eaves. Below the National Academy Hall was a crowd of worried, crying, and shouting officials, yet he seemed not to see them. The fragrant warm wind blew at his clothes, raising the sleeve arrow patterns inside. He watched the distant Rose Imperial Road, where a young woman in a goose-yellow cloth garment sat on a white horse, with continuous parasol trees on both sides, a dazzling scene like a brilliant painting.
Four months, that was enough.
He smiled slightly like this, playing a flute with a cheerful tune to send her off. The flute’s sound was clear, like a warbling lark, penetrating through the luxurious splendor of the palace, following her figure all the way, walking out of the layers of palace gates, crossing the golden thresholds, high corridors, dark red palace walls, going to a vast world.
Eyebrow Mountain protects, a lone rider who attends the meeting, suppressed and oppressed by the family, almost ruining a great future in the dust.
Retreating from Yuegong, nine deaths, and one life, like a cunning rabbit without three burrows, placed in mortal danger with no way to retreat, abandoned by country and family, falling into the ranks of villains, cursed by thousands of people, unable to enter the ancestral temple and genealogy even in death, ultimately becoming the empire’s first traitor.
Rising from the extreme, with the power of one person changing the fate of Qinghai outside the world, with terrifying prestige intimidating Western Mongolia. Even though the time was not yet ripe, he led troops eastward, just to save a beauty from the brink of death.
Great Xia sharpening knives intending to attack Bian Tang, Yan Bei sending troops eastward to avenge the hatred of a stolen wife. Willing to abandon glorious foundations to return to the homeland, betting with an army of a million, finally achieving a thin wish.
Zhuge Yue, I always thought I was the craziest person in the world, but facing you, I finally realized my shallowness and arrogance.
Li Ce smiled inwardly. How to compete with a madman?
We are all pawns with scripts assigned by heaven. I can’t break free, Yan Xun can’t break free either. Only you dare to break free and escape time after time, and the courage to jump into the vortex time after time. I ultimately lose to you, lose wholeheartedly.
The melody was exceptionally light and cheerful, contrasting with the heavy crying of the officials below, making it all seem so comical. Sun Di stood at the base of the palace, looking at the seemingly disrespectful figure, listening to the joyful melody filling his ears, yet feeling extremely lonely.
The palace road was long and cold, with high palace walls on both sides. One could faintly smell the sweet fragrance outside the palace.
Under such a bright, warm day, whose heart rippled with a light wave, breaking through the lonely mist of every midnight, disturbing the shallow jade dust in the quiet brocade palace.
He had always been like this, seeing through all the clarity of this world with slightly intoxicated eyes.
Night gradually fell. The officials had cried until their voices were hoarse. Several old ministers had epileptic fits and had been carried away early.
The entire palace was covered in luxurious lights. The brilliant palace lamps shone through the thousands of doors and windows of the Jinwu Palace, quietly illuminating the night of the Jinwu Palace. Memories were chaotic, like a fine thread pulled from a silk cloth; with a gentle tug, the entire piece of gorgeous silk scattered, leaving only a luxurious remnant of red.
Li Ce climbed down the ladder step by step. The officials crawled over crying, shouting that His Majesty should take care of his health and not act recklessly.
“Gentlemen are indeed loyal to me. Today I have already figured it out. My dear ministers, please rise.”
Everyone immediately wept like rain, thinking the emperor had finally realized his error.
“To carefully reflect on my words and actions, I have decided to suspend court for three days. Everyone should go home and think carefully, studying ways to benefit the country and enrich the people.”
Having said that, he departed under the stunned gaze of many ministers. Before even leaving the National Academy Hall, he impatiently said to the inner servant: “Feast for three consecutive days, bring all the selected women to the Roufu Palace.”
Everyone was speechless. The emperor walked away with a pleased laugh.
We are all ephemeral beings under the hand of fate, living and dying in a rush, suddenly revealing decades of magnificence and coldness.
Qiaoqiao, I hope you can find your way out.