“Just put it on the table. I can go drink it myself…” Suzhen felt unnerved by his stare, somewhat angry yet unable to explode, only smiling and hoping he’d be tactful.

But he walked directly over, sat on the bedside and said: “I’ll feed you.”

Suzhen grew angrier, but remembering his earlier words “I couldn’t let go” with that seemingly infinite grievance and desolation, she still held back – he had saved her and Little Lotus after all! She only smiled: “They’re really something, not leaving any women to care for me, troubling you instead.”

This was both a probe and a reminder about propriety between men and women.

Sang Zhan scooped a spoonful of soup, lowered his head to blow on it, brought it to her lips, then said: “My caring for you is most appropriate.”

If Suzhen had drunk that soup, she would have sprayed it out. What did he mean most appropriate! Where was it appropriate! Had Wuqing and the others lost their minds, or was he hiding something from her?

Could it be they thought this person had feelings for her and was capable enough to get her and Little Lotus away from Li Zhaoting, so they intended matchmaking?

But this couldn’t be asked directly. If asked and he answered something inappropriate, they truly couldn’t get along. She could only find opportunity to explain – not to mention her broken, defeated body, even if she were completely healthy, it was impossible for her to love again.

First Li Zhaoting, then Lian Yu – these two men had exhausted all her life’s capacity for love.

Thinking this, her eyes suddenly heated. With old friends gone and prosperity ended, after life and death, she didn’t know how many days remained or how long she could accompany Little Lotus. Success had become failure – she could no longer return to the palace to avenge Lian Yu or do anything to protect everyone.

Of course, being able to accompany Little Lotus was already more than she could ask for. But thinking of her filthy, defeated state and remembering everything that had happened, she suddenly couldn’t help feeling desolate.

A “clang” sounded. She looked up with tears to see him suddenly place the bowl on the side table, then grasp her shoulders, asking hoarsely: “What is it? Are you hurting somewhere?”

His gaze was pained as if he were also hurting. Suzhen felt flustered, shaking her head. Suddenly remembering something, she asked: “Are you planning to send me back to your people, the Lian family?”

“No… my clan. You forgot – I came for the Eagle Cliff mineral tribute matter, later offering strategies to solve Li Zhaoting’s disaster relief and war funding shortage. The court’s army no longer advances fully – I arrange mining of some resources. I later returned and moved Lian’s troops to safety.”

Suzhen worried: “Will your people have trouble because you rescued us? If Li Zhaoting takes revenge—”

“Don’t worry, I’ve made arrangements. My people will offer the first minerals. Li Zhaoting isn’t a tyrant – killing my people wouldn’t benefit him.”

“Mm, he truly isn’t a tyrant.” Suzhen replied softly.

This person… Sang Zhan’s expression suddenly turned ugly.

“Drink the soup first.” He picked up the bowl again, his voice suddenly heavy.

But Suzhen said: “Sang Zhan, there’s something I want to discuss with you… I don’t plan to return to the Lian family with you…”

The hand holding the bowl shook violently, hot soup spilling out, quickly scalding the skin red. Suzhen was startled, but Sang Zhan seemed not to feel it, only gripping the bowl tightly.

She couldn’t describe that look – anyway, it made her tremble slightly with a creepy feeling. She sensed this person carried an aura of danger that could erupt anytime.

Between them was like tiger and rabbit.

She watched him suspiciously and alertly. He suddenly put down the bowl: “I’ll check on Xi’er – she should be about ready.”

Suzhen was stunned, unable to keep up with his pace. The other had already risen and gone out, moving too quickly for her to react.

Wait, what the hell was Xi’er?

It couldn’t be referring to her Little Lotus, could it? Was this Little Lotus’s name? Who gave it to her?

It couldn’t be this guy again, could it?

She frowned, feeling like gnashing her teeth. Even if Lotus needed a proper name, what right did this person have to name Lotus? And calling her Xi’er – so ugly!

Sang Zhan didn’t immediately go to the wet nurse. He stood in the courtyard, lips pressed tight, hands clenched into fists.

She was unwilling to return to the Lian family with him.

She must resent the Lian clan. She had suffered so much – it was all branded on her face, hands, and body. When he bathed and cared for her, seeing it made his heart twist with pain. But what had the Lian family done for her? She had painstakingly sent Old Seven and Old Nine away, yet neither the Lian nor Murong families came to rescue her until now when all was nearly lost.

That day when he was unconscious, he seemed to sense she was in danger and struggled to rise and save her, but collapsed from exhaustion. Xuanwu went in his place.

Both to save her and create news of his death to make enemies drop their guard.

Xuanwu was his shadow, his final defense.

Previously transformed by Lady Hong to look like him, precisely so that if danger arose someday, he could substitute.

Later, he was rescued by Grey Clothes and the fortunately escaped Azure Dragon and White Tiger. He spent time healing, and only after some time secretly returned to the Sang clan hideout he had prepared for Lian’s army before rescuing her from Wei residence.

Lian Jie and others were also returning then, but no one told him she was carrying his child.

Thinking now, they feared that knowing this, he would rush back to the capital regardless of consequences. Perhaps he still couldn’t save her and would sacrifice himself and the three armies.

He didn’t know she was pregnant. Even thinking as he did – never mind himself, but with Xuanwu and others already dead, he couldn’t sacrifice more lives!

So he truly endured it – healing, changing his appearance, planning. He still had backup plans, methods and strength for a comeback!

This was undoubtedly the most correct choice, but Quan Feitong was right – he had failed her.

Learning everything from Li Zhaoting that day was nearly catastrophic for him.

He desperately forced himself to calm down and find ways to bring her and the child out.

Not childhood suffering, not losing the throne – those days and nights were the most difficult moments of his life.

Yet even bringing her out, he still felt pain and guilt – that feeling of someone taking a knife to his heart, stabbing in and out until bloody and torn, never stopping, probably no different from what Xuanwu endured that day.

Or perhaps it would have been better if he had died that day – in her heart, he would forever remain the best.

But he couldn’t die. His responsibilities and what he owed her… He deliberately separated her and the child from the main group temporarily. He wanted to spend time with her properly. He… desperately wanted to reveal himself to her, yet feared she would ask why he hadn’t come for her sooner, feared seeing her questioning face.

He turned slightly sideways. Through the door crack, he could see her struggling to support herself getting up to wash, then picking up the soup bowl and eating the broth and chicken cleanly.

So quiet, never speaking of suffering.

As if however much happiness she’d had before, she was now willing to bear whatever hardship fate bestowed.

His eyes stung, jaw clenched extremely tight. After a long while, he walked to the wet nurse’s room…

…

Suzhen put down the bowl, quickly calculating many things.

She still had to leave with Lotus, couldn’t entrust her to Lian Jie and Xiao’an. Her daughter could be “ordinary” like she once was, but absolutely couldn’t be “excellent” like Li Zhaoting. She should have a different life, not one controlled by fate from birth!

She had to find ways to notify her brother, Leng Xue, and Xiao Zhou to return, while she herself still had to return to the palace. Li Zhaoting still had old feelings for her – she still had opportunity. That sword thrust from Hong Xiao, for Lian Yu’s sake, she could let it go, but Yu Jinglun, Mao Hui, Lian Xin’s hatred, and Wei Chenghui… this person who brought disaster to the country!

She didn’t have much time left anyway. If she could kill them, even perishing together, she would have avenged Lian Yu and her father and fulfilled half of Scholar Tingyu’s expectations.

She slowly clenched her weak hands when the door suddenly sounded. Looking up, she saw Sang Zhan enter holding Lotus – her shameless daughter seemed very fond of him, lying obediently in his arms with smiling eyes, chubby hands waving randomly.

Though not full-term, the child was quite healthy. She both muttered and felt proud. Sang Zhan also saw the smile at her lips, striding over to place the child in her hands. Suzhen contentedly took her, couldn’t help kissing the child’s forehead. A milky fragrance filled her nose as the child giggled at her. Unable to nurse herself, she felt somewhat guilty and sad. Suddenly remembering something, she asked: “You said Xi’er earlier – you mean her?”

“Xi’er?” Sang Zhan paused, his lips also showing a trace of smile, finally not seeming as deeply frightening as before.

“No, it’s Xi’er. The xi of ‘cherish what is precious’ – Lian Xi.” he said.

Suzhen was stunned. This name was actually quite good. But who had given this name – him?!

She suddenly found him annoying again. She didn’t know why, but always felt this person wasn’t like the Sang Zhan she’d known before. Had she understood too little previously, or was this his true nature?

Full of scheming.

Just thinking this, she saw him sit on the bedside without any restraint, watching her. That dark, almost predatory gaze really wasn’t what a good person should have. How could this person be like this!

She unconsciously trembled somewhat. After thinking, she said with forced calm: “Sang Zhan, could you trouble yourself with something? I’ve been lying here sick for so long, I want to… take a bath.”

Sang Zhan nodded: “Good, I’ll heat water for you.”

Suzhen didn’t know where this residence was, but it seemed there were only four people – her mother and daughter, Sang Zhan, and the wet nurse hired for Lotus. She could see that washing clothes, cooking, and many things were all handled by him alone.

This person was at least a clan leader with noble status – why humble himself so?

And she already had a child…

She watched the door close, temporarily hiding that aggressive gaze, and breathed slightly easier. Moreover, seeing it was getting dark, after bathing she could sleep with Lotus and avoid him.

Having just awakened and still weak, though her physical condition seemed better than before injury, she was still tired. She placed Lotus beside her, half-embracing the child, and quickly fell asleep again.

Until sounds came from the room, she slowly opened her eyes to see lamps lit inside and a large wooden tub placed in the room. He was arranging chairs, setting out clean clothes for her nearby, including many intimate items…

In the lamplight, his features were like a painting. Though not the beloved in her heart, she unconsciously trembled slightly.

Hearing sounds from the bed, he was very alert and quickly turned to look. Suzhen’s face reddened: “Thank you, I’ll do it myself.”

“Oh.” He responded but still stood there, his gaze fixed unmoving on her.

Suzhen was annoyed, picking up Lotus who had also awakened and was looking at them sideways: “She’s probably hungry too. Take her to the wet nurse.”

Sang Zhan silently came over and took the child. As he left, she saw his Adam’s apple move slightly.

She immediately barred the door once he left, her heart still pounding violently. After a long while, she finally undressed and entered the wooden tub…

The water thoughtfully had flower petals floating in it. Her face instantly flushed red again. Drowsily soaking for an unknown time, she slowly stood up. When stepping out, her footing was unsteady and she stumbled with a low cry – then came a crash as the door was instantly kicked open. He appeared before her with an urgent expression, his gaze immediately darkening. Suzhen was about to get up from the floor when his direct stare made her feel all her heat rush to her head with a “whoosh.”

“Get out!” He might have meant well, but she still angrily shouted at him.

But he ignored her, kicked the door shut again, took two steps to her side, and lifted her up—

Suzhen was mortified, kicking and struggling: “Put me down…”

He looked down at her but finally slowly set her down. Just as Suzhen sighed in relief, he suddenly pushed her roughly against the wall, one hand covering her bosom, lowering his head to capture her lips…