Suzhen had gone completely mad! She was completely naked, and her heart belonged only to Lian Yu. She was furious, using all her strength to scratch and kick, but he obviously paid no attention, restraining both her hands with one of his while lightly pressing down with his foot so she couldn’t move her lower body. Skin against skin, his gaze grew darker, his breathing heavier and longer, his lips and tongue penetrating deeper. Suzhen bit down hard, the taste of blood filling both their mouths, only inflaming his desire further. He groaned low and lifted her again, walking toward the bed.
Suzhen was placed upon it, the world spinning. Just as she was about to crawl up, he pressed down on her, pulling down the bed curtains with one hand. The light inside suddenly dimmed, but she could see his sharp, dark eyes filled with lust even more clearly, like a sudden storm. She gritted her teeth and cursed: “You did save us, but such behavior…”
Before she could finish, he had sealed her pressure points. Without speaking, he directly tied her hands above her head with his red-eyed belt, then tore off his outer robe into two pieces, separated her legs and fixed them to the bed edges, before releasing her pressure points.
Suzhen felt utterly humiliated but couldn’t move. She watched in terror as he removed his trousers. Soon pain shot through her lower body as he thrust directly inside. Her mind went blank as tears fell while she glared at him with murderous intent.
His eyes were also unusually fierce. Suddenly covering her mouth with his hand, he began moving. Having little experience, she initially trembled with pain, but after his urgent movements, he became skilled in depth and shallowness, his lips and hands expertly working on her body. Suzhen later strangely began to feel sensations, her whole body trembling unbearably, no longer from pain… The moaning sounds frightened even herself…
Finally, white light flashed through her mind, her body convulsed below, reaching that moment. He kissed her neck, his movements becoming violent. Though she had already climaxed, he aroused those intense feelings again. In the hazy grief and anger of wanting to kill both him and herself, her scattered gaze fell upon his loosened collar from the intense movements, and she suddenly froze… At this moment, his eyes bloodshot, wanting more, he released her hands and feet, about to turn her over for more, when she raised her hand and slapped his face hard. He didn’t move, letting her strike several times. She looked at him coldly, then suddenly kissed his lips forcefully. His eyes darkened, his body shaking violently, then he pressed her under him with even more brutal movements…
Finally, after going back and forth on her three or four more times, he collapsed on her, sweating. She had fainted midway and now slowly awakened, raising her hand to slap him several more times, gritting her teeth and growling: “I recognize the scars on your body. Is it you?”
“It’s you!”
“It’s you!”
Sometimes questioning, sometimes certain, but finally very sure.
Having just kissed herself, Sang Zhan knew she had recognized his identity. He grasped her hand, brought it to his lips, his breath flowing over her hand: “It’s me, Lian Yu.”
A torrent of grief and joy crashed over Suzhen’s mind like snow-topped waves! That wild emotion left her mind blank again as tears fell.
Lian Yu’s heart was already aching with guilt. His earlier beast-like behavior was a weaving of desire and unease, making him only want to merge ruthlessly with her, but even after several times, it still wasn’t enough.
Seeing her silently weeping, feelings of heartache and guilt immediately wrapped around his body like vines, making him almost unable to breathe.
“You’re alive!” Suzhen, having confirmed this, was so excited that after saying this, she fainted again.
Lian Yu was alarmed, quickly checking her. Seeing her breathing steadily, he finally relaxed. He lifted her and returned to the bathtub, cleaning away the traces of their encounter from her body. Her skin was bruised in many places from his actions. He carried her back to bed, punching the nearby table. The table shattered, his hand bloodied, but he still blamed himself. He knew he shouldn’t have done that, but the bone-deep longing and the thought that Li Zhaoting had touched her… All of it, once triggered, could no longer be controlled.
He carried her back to bed, dressed her in undergarments, held her tightly facing him, and lay down. For a long time, he lay sleepless.
The night was still deep.
He glanced at the wooden carving that had fallen between them, gently moved it aside, and again held her tightly without any gap. Only then did the restlessness and unease in his heart finally calm somewhat.
But when she woke, how should he explain to her?
He smiled self-mockingly, reaching to gently stroke her face.
After an unknown time, thinking about conversations with her and deployment for declaring war on Li Zhaoting, finally, gaining peace from having her again, he began to feel tired and slowly closed his eyes.
But he remained very alert. In his drowsiness, she suddenly moved in his arms, and he immediately opened his eyes.
His arms were indeed empty!
His heart suddenly tightened as he leaped up, about to rush out to find her, when he saw her sitting at the dressing table, calmly looking at herself in the mirror. Hearing the sound, she slowly turned around.
Her expression was utterly peaceful.
She looked at him: “It would have been good if you could have come back earlier to take me away.”
Finally, she had brought it up. Lian Yu stood there, his lips moving. Someone who prided himself on standing undefeated in dangerous places found himself at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry…”
“Lian Yu, I’ve become ugly and old, and I was… Li Zhaoting’s woman. You changed your appearance to reclaim the kingdom. With your abilities, you’ll surely be emperor again someday. Thank you for not despising me, but I… I’m no longer worthy to stand beside you.” Her tone remained calm throughout, speaking word by word with a smile.
“Lotus, no, Lian Xi… do you want her, or perhaps… could you let me take her away for half a year?” She tilted her head asking again.
The words “I’m sorry” hadn’t yet left his mouth when her words completely destroyed him! He had guessed she would ask why he hadn’t come earlier if he wasn’t dead, but he hadn’t expected she wouldn’t blame him – what she cared about was…
She hadn’t failed him – he had failed her!
Before, he always felt he had given more between them. He didn’t regret it, but he did mind.
Only later, with the ice cellar incident when she abandoned revenge and willingly died to fulfill him, did he realize he was wrong. And now, he was in pain.
It turned out they had simply met too late. Otherwise, what she would have given him would have been everything.
Even more than everything.
She loved Li Zhaoting this way, and she loved him this way too.
Her hair was black mixed with white, the scars on her cheeks beginning to heal but leaving permanent marks. Her appearance was actually still young, but her eyes had aged. Zhuque had told him those hideous scars were self-inflicted because she didn’t want Li Zhaoting to touch her again.
But actually, her weathered state and all the scars on her body – he had brought them all to her!
He was jealous and hateful toward Li Zhaoting, wanting to tear this opponent apart, but he had never felt the slightest grudge toward her. If he had, would he deserve to stand in this world?
How could he heal her pain?
This was the third time in over twenty years that his eyes filled with tears.
He strode forward, bent down and pulled her into his arms, with such force that her bones creaked.
“The kingdom is my responsibility, but you and our daughter are my hope for living. You cannot take my daughter away, and you cannot leave either. Without you, even if I regain the kingdom, my life would be finished. Between you and Li Zhaoting… I admit I’m jealous and in pain, but I feel more guilt and heartache. You fear I despise you, but actually I fear you despise me. Hasn’t it always been this way between us? You haven’t wronged me – I’ve wronged you. Susu, Lian Yu should have come for you earlier.”
His chest trembled slightly, his grip extremely strong. He had always been a man of great strength. Even though he now seemed in decline, Suzhen was certain he possessed the ability to overturn heaven and earth. From the day of that imperial audience, it was destined he would be not only her man, but also her teacher and sovereign.
But this powerful person, his tall frame now trembled slightly. For the first time, she felt he was… afraid.
This word never suited him, but at this moment she clearly felt his fear.
“But others will talk about you.” She quietly embraced his waist and back. “An ugly wife, an unchaste wife…”
“Who dares speak!” He suddenly gripped her shoulders fiercely. She saw frost-cold killing intent in his deep black eyes.
This wasn’t a joke – it was truly imperial wrath and his guarantee.
“Feng Suzhen, if you’re unwilling to be with me anymore, then promise me one thing. After I complete my responsibilities, give me a clean death with your sword. Anyway, without you by my side, overwhelming power and wealth mean nothing to me. I’ve never been someone given to romantic sentiment, but you are my exception.” He pinched her face, forcing her to look at him.
Suzhen lowered her eyes: “Without Hong Xiao, if you hadn’t met me, someone like you would have no trouble finding a wife. Three thousand beauties at your fingertips.”
He laughed once.
“Gu Xiluo and I,” he no longer called her Hong Xiao, “were both too young then, like the green apricots you used to hide – unripe before falling. Feng Suzhen, to me, no one can replace you. Do you think Lian Yu would have any other woman in this lifetime? If you truly think so, you underestimate me too much.” His black eyes were frosty as he stared at her coldly.
Tears burst forth as Suzhen covered her face. That long-buried grievance, the remaining path – she no longer needed to think about it. He had returned! She and Little Lotus could stay by his side forever.
Lian Yu’s heart nearly shattered from her tears. He lifted her onto his lap, circled her tightly with both hands, lowered his head to kiss her earlobe, speaking sentence by sentence the clumsy words of love meant only for her…