She couldn’t quite process it. Only a faint sandalwood scent passed before her nose as he pressed down completely, his hand scooping up both her hands and pinning them behind the pillow without any warning. She couldn’t quite read his thoughts – grievance, anger, heartache, all present, blocking her heart in panic and confusion. She wanted to speak clearly, but just as she opened her mouth, his other hand covered it. In the dim curtains, her muffled voice escaped from his palm. He quickly released her hands, his hand exploring inside her clothing – his eyes seemed like an ancient pond, showing thousand-year coldness, yet also like clustered flames wanting to burn her completely. She immediately went soft…

In the wild abandon, he released the restraint on her mouth, but she bit her lips tightly, struggling to endure, not daring to make a sound – though Xuanwu and others should have been cleared away… That fire in his eyes, through his hands and body, burned onto her. She was manipulated until she seemed ready to be wrung dry. Through her water-blurred vision, she only saw his sweat-beaded black hair tips and those deep, dangerous eyes, firmly branded on her face as if to devour her.

The first time was somewhat hurried and didn’t last long. In her dazed state, she vaguely thought of something. Even though she was certain he wouldn’t have other women, this realization made her heart bloom with joy like flowers.

Just like a long, difficult journey, arduous and dangerous, but reaching a certain point, you know happiness and fulfillment will ultimately be the ending.

She was about to tease him about his poor performance, but before she could speak, he started again. From this point it became intense and prolonged. She convulsed voicelessly, her fingers gripping the brocade quilt beneath her body tightly. At the final moment, she was completely limp and sore, not wanting to move even a finger, but his eyes were pitch black and sharp. His tongue forcefully moistened her earlobe again. Unable to bear it, she frantically reached out to embrace his neck.

“Want to sleep,” she said hoarsely.

His eyes were deep and dark, saying nothing. He didn’t embrace her but didn’t drive her away either, letting her tuck her feet between his legs, clinging to him like an octopus, suddenly falling asleep.

Suzhen originally thought his anger should have mostly subsided by now. However, when she woke the next day, the bed had long lost his warmth.

Much less the morning tenderness, beauty, and affection she had imagined.

Under the bed were her clothes, wrinkled and scattered on the floor, unwearable. But it didn’t matter. She rummaged through boxes and drawers, took one of his robes to wear – she was used to wearing men’s clothing anyway. There was water in the room and new bathing utensils. She washed and dressed simply. The clothes carried his usual incense fragrance, very pleasant, but this didn’t calm her irritated heart.

Hearing the door open, people in the courtyard came forward: “Madam is awake. Master instructed the kitchen to prepare food. This servant will fetch it.”

They were two efficient-looking maidservants with slight blushes on their faces.

Her sullen mood eased slightly. This man, angry as he was, still thought of her. Remembering last night’s wildness, she feared these night-watching girls had heard, and though it was reasonable, proper, and legal, her face couldn’t help heating slightly.

Looking outside, it was already midday. She felt somewhat hungry but had little appetite. She shook her head and asked: “Where’s Lian Yu?”

“Master is at the Observatory discussing important matters with the two young masters and several officials,” they replied.

“Alright, I’ll go find him.”

Hearing this, they became anxious. One said: “Madam, Master is conducting business and never allows interruptions.”

“I know it’s serious business, but even I can’t?” Suzhen asked mildly.

“Master specifically instructed that Madam… Madam also cannot,” they said hesitantly after exchanging glances.

Suzhen was never one to cause trouble. If he had business, she could wait. But her chest felt blocked by a breath that burned uncomfortably. Today she absolutely had to speak clearly no matter what. Moreover, he had specifically instructed not to let her see him – how could she endure this?

Shortly after, she arrived at the Observatory.

Guards stood watch outside – clearly elite troops. Qinglong and Baihu also waited outside. This wasn’t a place ordinary people could enter.

Seeing her approach, they were somewhat surprised: “Judge Li.”

“Your master is inside, right? I have something to tell him, but he definitely won’t want to see me. To avoid wasting time, I won’t wait for an announcement.”

“This…” Both hesitated, looking troubled.

“Are you going to stop me again this time?” Suzhen asked.

“We wouldn’t dare.” Both stepped aside. Qinglong entered first, walking and calling urgently: “Master, Madam has come.”

Inside was a pleasant place with trees, grass, flowers, pavilions, and flowing water – very beautiful.

That pavilion wasn’t like ordinary pavilions – it occupied a large area. Even with ten or so people inside, it didn’t seem crowded. They appeared to be discussing important matters. On the table, besides a teapot and several cups, there was no other food. Besides him and the Lian brothers, there were also Yan Da, General Liu, and Ajin from the other day, plus several young and middle-aged men she didn’t recognize – probably his new subordinates.

Oh, and one more – the woman seen yesterday, standing behind Lian Yu, listening intently to something.

A place for discussing important matters that this newly acquired woman could attend, but she couldn’t. Moreover, for someone acquired so recently to reach such a position – if not to anger her, then this woman was quite valued by him.

He was always a person of propriety, so it must be the second reason. Thinking this through only made her heart sink further.

“Madam.” Seeing her appear, everyone hurriedly rose. Yan Da led in paying respects first.

General Ajin saw her for the first time, looking at her several times, smiling ingratiatingly. Seeing her indifferent return gaze, he was startled, not knowing how he’d offended her, and hurriedly lowered his head.

That woman also half-curtsied, smiling sweetly: “Greetings, Madam.”

Only he remained unmoved.

“Baihu, escort her back,” he said.

“I know you’re angry. I’ve never been any kind of hero. That day, if I’d had even a moment more time, I would have chosen to stay by your side. But I only had those few days left, and I wanted to do something. The Princess was captured by Wei. Whether you surrendered or not was wrong either way. Besides my parents and Hong Xiao, Wei also held the lives of Little Chuzi, Xuanwu, and my family’s Zhuiming, plus the lives of tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians poisoned to win battles. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw bloody people swaying before me.”

“No need for Baihu to escort me. I came to say goodbye. Think clearly about where Lotus Seed is and send someone to tell me. You don’t want me to atone to you, but you can’t deprive me of my rights as a mother. I’m going to atone to her.” Suzhen spoke in a calm voice, speaking slowly.

She turned to leave, her voice floating lightly:

“Lian Yu, we love each other, that’s true, but I’ve never owed you anything.”

These past days, even someone like Ajin – brilliant at military campaigns but an idiot at daily life – could see some clues, much less others. Knowing the two were in conflict, until Suzhen left the garden, they dared not say much, fearing to add fuel to the fire.

But Lian Yu acted as if he hadn’t heard anything, still sitting indifferently in the pavilion without even lifting his eyelids: “Continue the discussion.”

The group dared not advise, yet felt wrong not to. They could only sit down. That woman smiled and poured tea for everyone, completely unmoved.

After discussing for about half a cup of tea’s time, the woman softly asked again: “Master, do you need back massage?”

Lian Qin had an explosive temper. Hearing this, he immediately couldn’t contain himself, glaring at her fiercely: “Where did this vixen come from? Get lost!”

The woman looked at Lian Yu with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile: “Ninth Master, this servant was brought by Master. Aren’t you overstepping a bit?”

Hearing this, Lian Qin immediately exploded. Lian Jie grabbed him: This woman wasn’t easy to deal with – her background was unclear. Moreover, if he remembered correctly, this wasn’t the first time he’d seen her.

Once, he had urgent official business to find Lian Yu and rode fast from the capital. He spurred his horse straight into Lian Yu’s courtyard – he always held deep respect and love for his elder brother, but Lian Yu never emphasized ceremony. When he had urgent matters, he would barge in.

At that time there was a woman in the courtyard. Seeing him, she curtsied and left. He hadn’t thought much of it then, assuming she was some maidservant. But when Ajin brought people back, he realized this woman seemed familiar.

During Suzhen’s absence, Lian Yu often disguised himself as an ordinary merchant, traveling between various countries and tribes to observe conditions. It seemed these two had long been acquainted, with deeper interactions. That night when she left, Lian Yu had handed over his cloak.

How could this be treatment an ordinary maidservant should receive? He had been in a hurry then and hadn’t thought carefully.

As a brother, his feelings were truly complex. He had deep friendship with Suzhen and naturally favored her. At that time, Lian Yu had been alone for so long. Though Lotus Seed was everyone’s treasure, she was ultimately a motherless child. So he both hoped Lian Yu would remember his old love and hoped he would start a new life – after all, since Suzhen left, Lian Yu had never smiled again.

All these years had passed. Even he, though still dazzled by Wuyan, had long since let go of his original obsession. People always had to look forward.

But now was different. Suzhen had returned, yet Lian Yu clearly valued this woman greatly. With Suzhen’s provocation, this matter was probably at its angriest point. For Lian Qin, this pig-brain, to speak up now – wasn’t this asking for trouble!

“Sixth Brother, look at Huaisu’s pale appearance. Just let it go. She usually eats a lot, but these past few days she’s eaten less than I do in one meal—” But Lian Qin was blockheaded, still chattering on.

Lian Yu suddenly rose. He was startled, but saw the other hadn’t scolded Lian Qin, instead striding quickly out of the pavilion, his expression dark and stormy, brewing like an approaching tempest.

Suzhen didn’t call for anyone, going straight to the stables to get a horse. Her heart ached in waves. She just wanted to ride out and wander, even thinking of leaving.

Lian Xin had brought her to get a carriage before. Several stable hands knew her. When she said she wanted to ride, they immediately brought her inside to choose a horse.

Suzhen was about to randomly point at one when she suddenly heard several consecutive snorts. Startled, she saw a familiar figure in the middle stable.

Strange bones, ugly and shiny black.

It was her Ugly Horse!

Overjoyed, she ran over and hugged its neck.

She and Lian Xin hadn’t gone inside last time, so she didn’t know her Ugly Horse was actually here.

Five years had passed. It was still utterly ugly, but had grown larger and stronger with glossy coat.

Ugly Horse still recognized her, nuzzling affectionately and licking her palm energetically – so intimate.

“This one.”

Suzhen opened the gate and led Ugly Horse out.

The stable hands were momentarily stunned. This was Lian Yu’s mount – he never let anyone touch it. They didn’t know if Madam was allowed to ride it. This supposedly dead Madam had suddenly returned. They heard she was once very favored by the master, but that was before. Now who could say? After all, several days had passed without seeing the master with her – no meals together, no banquets, nothing. Instead they heard the newly arrived girl was quite favored, eating and drinking together with him.

Seeing their hesitant expressions, Suzhen knew what they were thinking. She said nothing. Without waiting for a saddle, she forcefully patted Ugly Horse. It bent its knees in a half-kneel, she immediately leaped on, clamped her legs against its sides, and Ugly Horse neighed, galloping away – leaving the two men dumbfounded. This horse was ugly but had quite a temper, very spirited. Usually only Lian Yu could touch it, but unexpectedly—

Suzhen didn’t return to her original room. Given her temperament, she absolutely couldn’t return to the room where they had shared a bed last night.

“Has Madam come by?”

In front of Lian Xin’s residence, Lian Yu’s breathing was slightly heavy. Learning she hadn’t returned, his brow immediately furrowed. After a pause, he asked sternly again.

The maidservant quickly answered: “Master, Madam hasn’t come. Master Wuqing did come—”

Lian Yu waved his hand to stop her, saying to Qinglong and Baihu behind him: “Send people to ask at Leng Xue and Tieshou’s places. Also have the guards spread word – whoever sees Madam’s whereabouts should report immediately.”

“Yes.”

Both received orders and dared not delay, immediately setting off. This small imperial city was quite safe, and though not huge, it wasn’t exactly small either.

Lian Yu stood with hands behind his back, slowly clenching his fists, veins faintly visible.

Suzhen galloped all the way, quickly exiting the small city gate. Her heart was both angry and anxious. She still didn’t know about Lotus Seed. Given Lian Yu’s character, he absolutely wouldn’t let her learn the news from others. Even Lian Jie and the others didn’t know. Leaving wasn’t right, but not leaving wasn’t right either.

Her heart burned with grievance like fire. Throughout her journey to today, there weren’t many people and events that could make her feel wronged. This person, this person…

“Faster! After all these years apart, this is all the progress you’ve made? Where’s your ability?” In the howling wind, she spoke to Ugly Horse.

Hearing this, Ugly Horse exploded with fury, giving a long neigh. Its front hooves suddenly reared up. She barely managed to recover. Her foundation was far inferior to before. Her vision blurred and she immediately fell from the horse’s back. The fear and cold from that day’s fall from the city walls instantly swept over her—

Her eyes instantly moistened. How could he do this? She had never been… fearless.