Hearing the door gently close and everyone’s retreating sounds, Su Zhen sat up with some difficulty. When they were talking, she had been awake, just hadn’t gotten up.

What was the point of getting up? What could she say? Better to sleep while conscious.

She desperately took medicine because she didn’t want them to worry, but she knew that no matter how much medicine she took, no matter how much she wanted to live well and recover quickly, it was beyond human capability.

Unlike that early winter when she learned the devastating news of the Feng family’s complete destruction, no matter how painful, there had still been things supporting her to continue. Now… she suddenly no longer knew what joy there was in living, what fear in dying.

She wanted that person to come, but this illness wasn’t her intention – she hadn’t thought to use such methods. She hoped for honesty and integrity. Though at this point, discussing such things seemed laughable.

And even so, he hadn’t come. To him, it seemed as long as her life was preserved, nothing else mattered. Because of debt? Choosing A Luo out of debt to her? Or because he believed killing the Feng family was justified, yet still felt slight guilt for taking her relatives’ lives and hiding it from her?

So no matter what, her life must be preserved?

How dare he promise her a three-year agreement, to exile her after three years, just like now?

She finally understood why he said he feared she would hate their children.

But how could she not hate?

He killed her entire family.

He killed her entire family and hid it from her.

He killed her entire family, hid it from her, took her body, and took her heart.

How dare he?

Whether it was her brother, Li Zhaoting, or him – none had ever asked her wishes, just decided her fate like this.

Without any one of these elements, today wouldn’t look like this.

But he was the chief culprit among them.

He was the one who made her fall in love with him, fall in love with her family’s killer! Had he ever thought what would happen when she learned the truth? Between filial piety, love, and righteousness, he had driven her to a dead end!

She bit her lip, pulled the blanket over herself to muffle the sound, crying silently, coughing silently. That rusty taste seeped up bit by bit from deep in her throat, accompanied by waves of sharp tearing pain. She propped herself up on the bed with one hand, the other gripping the bedding tightly.

She couldn’t die here, couldn’t die so miserably here.

Opening the bundle by her bedside, besides a few changes of clothes, there was a dagger and several packets of medicine.

These were prepared for self-defense after being kidnapped – who would have thought they’d come in handy now!

She laughed at herself, placing the poison in her chest, then slowly concealing the sharp dagger in her sleeve.

After completing everything, she looked down at her undergarment – stained with medicine and blood. She gritted her teeth and got up, picked a clean outer robe from the bed and put it on, then gathered her loose hair up.

As she was pinning her hair, footsteps sounded outside the door – quick and slightly chaotic.

She tried to make herself look decent, smiling: “Wuqing, your timing is perfect. I have something to tell you—”

The door was forcefully pushed open. Where her gaze fell, Su Zhen’s movements froze, her thick black hair slipping from her hands and falling to her waist. She remained motionless, not blinking once, staring at the man in bright yellow who had entered the room.

“You’re not seriously ill?”

His forehead was covered with sweat, as if he’d come in great haste. His pair of deep black, cold eyes were filled with fury.

Su Zhen’s heart had long been a tangle of emotions – anger, hatred, pain with nowhere to vent. She couldn’t imagine anything more painful than this, but apparently, it was only limited by imagination, not reality.

And at this moment, she finally tasted it.

His sharp gaze was like the most keen and merciless blade, cutting open her flesh piece by piece, making her want to cry and scream, yet he covered her mouth tightly with his hand…

“Do you wish I were seriously ill? Or is it only when I’m dying that you’d deign to glance at me?” She thought she would shout and scream hysterically. Instead, she spoke with a radiant smile.

He stared at her intently, the anger in his eyes seeming to slowly solidify, his gaze growing cold.

“Good that you’re well. Take care, but you and I truly should never meet privately again. Come back in three years to fulfill your wish.” Finally, he said this.

“Never meet privately? Come back in three years?” Su Zhen covered her chest, as if this could stop the pain continuously flowing from her heart.

She smiled: “You’re resuming your childhood romance with her, you’re beginning to reject me. Then why did you disguise yourself as Xuanwu to leave the palace with me? Why did you treat me as before in the carriage that day? But now you say I’m the one pursuing you?” She raised her head, questioning him sentence by sentence.

Lian Yu also smiled, his lips slowly curving up, but even his smile carried meaning of distance.

He said: “So I’m preventing myself from making this mistake again.”

“For Gu Xiluo?” Su Zhen asked softly.

“Yes.”

He answered calmly, then immediately turned to leave.

Decisive without a moment’s hesitation.

Su Zhen took several steps forward and embraced him from behind.

His tall, slender body shook violently, then his hand reached back to grasp her wrist forcefully, turning around to push her away.

However, the moment their eyes met, there was a muffled sound. A wave of pain clearly showed through his bright, beautiful eyes. He looked down in disbelief – a dagger, one end in her trembling hand, the other in his abdomen.

He groaned lowly.

Scalding tears continuously slid from her eyes. Su Zhen wanted to push the dagger deeper, but momentarily couldn’t bring herself to do it… The room door wasn’t closed, and Xuanwu and others waited under the large tree at the courtyard entrance. All were skilled fighters, and Qinglong almost immediately called out nervously: “Master, is everything all right inside?”

“Nothing’s wrong. No one is allowed to come over! I still have matters to discuss with Magistrate Li.” Lian Yu answered very quickly, then kicked his foot back, forcefully slamming the door shut.

He stared intently at Su Zhen, veins bulging from his temples, frighteningly fierce. His fists clenched tightly, but what he swung out was ultimately just a gentle push, sending her away.

Su Zhen fell to the ground. Seeing a large patch of deep red spreading from his abdomen, quickly soaking through that bright yellow, her blood surged, and she opened her mouth, unable to suppress it any longer, spitting out two mouthfuls of fresh blood consecutively.

Lian Yu’s expression changed, clearly more shocked than when she had just attacked him. He gritted his teeth and quickly pulled the dagger from his abdomen, throwing it to the ground. This stab wasn’t particularly deep, but definitely not shallow. Once the dagger was removed, blood immediately poured from his abdomen like a fountain. He quickly pressed several major acupoints around it to slow the bleeding, then rushed to Su Zhen, lifting her up: “Where does it hurt?”

It was a tone beyond nervousness, his brow furrowed almost fiercely. Su Zhen’s mind was filled only with roaring sounds. She no longer knew how to face this, and with darkness before her eyes, she fainted.

Afterward, she only dimly heard him giving instructions to someone in a low voice, along with the sound of carriage wheels and jolting. She was held tightly in someone’s arms, that familiar yet rusty scent making her feel both secure and panicked…

She was awakened by the sound of pots and pans.

Su Zhen opened her eyes and vaguely saw a figure arranging something at the table. He immediately caught this slight sound and quickly came over, sitting on the bed’s edge and helping her sit up.

“Why are you still here?” she asked through gritted teeth.

Lian Yu’s attitude wasn’t good either, a cold smile at the corner of his lips: “I can’t avoid morning court in the palace. Once at morning court, wouldn’t others notice something amiss? Quan Feitong and those unseen enemies in the shadows won’t miss my moment of injury and illness.”

“Didn’t you want to see me? What for, just to stab me?”

Was he going to personally care for her until she recovered?

Su Zhen felt no joy in her heart, only intense hatred and confusion. Her red, swollen eyes reflected his current appearance.

He wore blue casual clothes, had removed the gold crown from his head and replaced it with an ordinary wooden hairpin. His clothes were clean and neat – the bloody appearance from earlier seemed like just a dream of hers.

But the fine beads of sweat on his forehead and his pale complexion reminded her that she had indeed stabbed him.

He looked at her, seeming to wait for her answer.

“I didn’t want it to be like this, but I had no choice. I couldn’t control myself.” she said coldly.

“Why?” He was much taller than her, leaning forward slightly, looming over her, his gaze slightly dark and appearing very sharp.

Su Zhen had calmed down by now. She knew clearly that if she answered truthfully, she would no longer have a chance to kill him. She had shown mercy once and couldn’t show mercy again. With him here, she had an opportunity.

So she lowered her gaze slightly: “If you hadn’t come to save me, I wouldn’t have had false hopes again. If you had come to check on me when I was bedridden, I would have felt relieved instead. But you didn’t. Lian Yu, you don’t know how much I hate you now. I’m jealous of your Gu Xiluo. It turns out I never let you go.”

She spoke and raised her head to confront him.

This time, it was Lian Yu who avoided her gaze. He got up, went to the table to get a bowl of medicine, and slightly lowered his voice: “Take the medicine.”

“Lian Yu, rest assured. Once I’m well and you’re healed, we’ll have no more interactions. After a trip to death’s door, I’ve seen through everything – nothing is worth it. Quan Feitong said as long as I’m willing to marry, he’s willing to wed me.” Su Zhen said softly, deliberately adding a tone of resigned laughter to her voice.