Qin Shuying had been constantly worrying about Princess Yongjia.
After half a month, she received a letter from Princess Yongjia, which said she had gone to find Princess Yongxing, and after visiting Princess Yongxing, she would return to the capital.
When would she return?
Perhaps one year, perhaps two or three years.
This was because she didn’t want to see the Empress Dowager.
Qin Shuying sighed.
Three days after receiving Princess Yongjia’s letter, the Empress Dowager summoned her.
In the carriage heading to the palace, Ziteng said worriedly, “Madam, if the Empress Dowager summons you again next time, please find an excuse not to go. This servant’s heart is all over the place—I’m scared to death. The Empress Dowager’s food—Madam can’t refuse to eat it, but eating it makes one uneasy. What if there’s something put in it? What would we do then?”
In Ziteng’s view, since Qin Shuying actually knew the secret between the Empress Dowager and Yongjia, it would be strange if the Empress Dowager didn’t want to kill Qin Shuying.
Qin Shuying was momentarily speechless.
Actually, while worrying about Princess Yongjia, she was also worried about herself.
With such a great secret, no one would feel at ease letting an outsider like Qin Shuying know about it.
Liang Zhe had comforted her, saying the new emperor was benevolent and would certainly not let such things happen. Moreover, the Empress Dowager knew that Liang Zhe had once saved Emperor Delong’s life, so she would surely show consideration.
The Empress Dowager still lived in Fenglai Palace.
She was dressed casually but wore makeup, looking like a woman in her thirties. Her tone was as gentle as always, “Lady Liang, this dowager heard that Yongjia wrote you a letter?”
Qin Shuying nodded, “Your Majesty, the Princess Imperial wrote to this subject’s wife about her experiences in the south, which were truly interesting.”
“This dowager has always wanted to go south, but unfortunately, after all these years, I haven’t been able to make the trip. The south has beautiful scenery, abundant products, and many exquisite delicacies. Do tell me, what has Yongjia seen?”
Qin Shuying recounted one by one the things Princess Yongjia had mentioned in her letter, and the Empress Dowager listened with great interest.
After finishing these accounts, the Empress Dowager said, “Lady Liang, you are a clever person. Some things you must have guessed. Indeed, this palace is exactly what you suspect.”
Qin Shuying looked at the Empress Dowager in shock, her heart leaping high, and her abdomen began to feel uncomfortable.
The Empress Dowager smiled, “Child, look how you’ve frightened yourself. Don’t worry—this dowager has always been grateful to you. This dowager won’t devour you.”
Nanny Yao said from the side, “Lady Liang, the Empress Dowager has always kept her word. Madam need not worry.”
Qin Shuying involuntarily placed one hand on her abdomen, “Your Majesty, please forgive this subject’s wife’s impropriety, but why does Your Majesty feel grateful to this subject’s wife?”
“First, Deputy Commander Liang once saved the late emperor’s life. You should know that if the late emperor hadn’t returned, this dowager and the imperial son would have had no fortune to enjoy all this. Second, you are on good terms with Yongjia. Though Yongjia ignores this dowager, you can tell this dowager about Yongjia’s affairs. These two matters are things this dowager wanted to do but couldn’t. Naturally this dowager must thank you.”
Qin Shuying remained silent.
“You silly child, you’re much more astute than this dowager was in those days. When this dowager first entered the palace, I understood nothing and nearly lost my life. At that time, both Prince Liang and the late emperor could compete for the throne. Your family’s old madam was devastatingly beautiful and had eyes set high. Even when entering the palace to see this dowager, she always looked down on me. She was single-mindedly set on becoming empress and mother to the nation, hesitating between the late emperor and Prince Liang. But she never expected that Liang Changshun would actually seek to marry her. With the Luo family’s background, when Liang Changshun sought to marry a concubine-born daughter, they naturally were delighted to marry her off.”
Qin Shuying’s palms were covered in sweat. Old Madam Liang had already been declared false by the late emperor’s golden words, but the Empress Dowager’s words clearly indicated that Old Madam Liang was not false.
“After Luo Yanyan married over, though she wasn’t a princess consort, she was still a marquis’s wife of the highest rank. But she was actually unwilling to settle for this and continued choosing between the late emperor and Prince Liang, flirting and carrying on—truly despicable. On the first day of the fourth month that year, the late emperor saw this dowager, and from then on his heart was entirely with this dowager. When Luo Yanyan saw she had no more opportunity to seduce the late emperor, she simply began associating with Prince Liang. Truly… When the late emperor ascended the throne, this dowager was pushed by the late emperor’s own hand to the position of empress, living every day in fear and anxiety. This dowager lived on in place of another person. As the late emperor’s legitimate consort, after death she cannot enter the imperial mausoleum, cannot be mourned by all under heaven. This dowager already owes her greatly—how could this dowager still have the face to continue bearing her name and have all under heaven kowtow to this dowager? This dowager cannot do it.”
Qin Shuying’s heart leaped up again. This this this…
But the Empress Dowager seemed not to see her terror at all, smiling slightly, “You think the late emperor had feelings for this dowager, but he was the emperor—how could he have feelings only for this dowager, a woman who could only bring him trouble? This dowager didn’t want to be a beauty who brings disaster, didn’t want to be pointed at by thousands of future generations. So this dowager selected consorts widely for the late emperor. But the late emperor thought this dowager despised him… Alas, women’s difficulties—wrong to the left, wrong to the right…”
Qin Shuying listened in amazement. Emperor Delong was jealous, thinking Lin Yuan didn’t like him, so she was selecting consorts for him?
“The late emperor was wise and mighty, but in front of this dowager he had a bit of childishness, often sulking with this dowager. This dowager was originally several years older than him, sometimes inevitably indulging him, sometimes having to guide him, putting the realm first. He probably thought this dowager was always thinking of others…”
Why was she telling such private matters to herself, the wife of a minister?
But the Empress Dowager’s face showed a peaceful expression, with no visible emotion, as if simply telling a story.
This “others”—who did it refer to?
Did it refer to Emperor Delong’s father?
…
“This dowager is just a woman whose identity cannot be revealed to the world. Even knowing he had feelings for this dowager, imperial family affections—how much can one believe? So this dowager spent those years in fear and trepidation, afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. At that time, it would not only implicate family members—Yongjia probably wouldn’t have grown up either. This dowager didn’t want to see people, didn’t want to bring him trouble, so this dowager locked herself in the rear palace, and this locking lasted over thirty years. When the late emperor saw this dowager was determined to do this, he was very angry. For several years he ignored this dowager, selecting consorts widely, even choosing a sickly man for Yongjia to marry. This dowager… was powerless.”
Qin Shuying could feel the Empress Dowager’s difficulties and pain from those years.
The late emperor could be willful, but Lin Yuan could not.
If Lin Yuan’s identity were discovered, it would bring the late emperor countless troubles. At that time, the late emperor’s feelings for Lin Yuan would gradually fade amid countless troubles.
“This dowager dared not fall ill, dared not let imperial physicians examine me. This dowager self-studied medicine and tended to my own body. Unexpectedly, this dowager not only maintained excellent health but also preserved a youthful appearance—truly an accident. Heaven is unpredictable—this dowager developed a serious illness and for a period even forgot the late emperor. Perhaps this dowager had always wavered between ethics and emotions, always lived under heavy pressure. This dowager’s subconscious wanted to force myself to forget my own identity, forget all troubles.”
The Empress Dowager sighed deeply, her beautiful eyes revealing a trace of pain.