In the final month of the fifteenth year of Xingping, Luoshen returned once again to Bailu Zhou.

The reason wasn’t because her parents had quarreled again, but because she had fallen ill.

After that night, the very next day, she became listless, barely able to eat. Xiao Yongjia and A’Ju initially thought she simply had a poor appetite, but unexpectedly, within just a few days, she collapsed with illness, developing a fever.

Though Luoshen was delicate and frail, from childhood to adulthood she had been raised smoothly and comfortably, rarely falling sick. Xiao Yongjia was extremely anxious and immediately summoned several imperial physicians from the palace to come diagnose and treat her together. The physicians took turns examining her pulse, looking, listening, questioning, and feeling, then gathered for consultation. Finally they all concluded it was a case of wind-cold syndrome, prescribed several doses of medicine, instructed proper rest and care, saying there would be no serious problem.

After the physicians left, Xiao Yongjia carefully tended to her daughter. After taking medicine for several days, Luoshen’s symptoms did improve somewhat, but she still hadn’t fully recovered, and her appetite remained very poor.

Seeing their daughter’s small face seem to thin dramatically within just a few days, both Xiao Yongjia and Gao Qiao felt extremely distressed. After a few more days of care, seeing her spirits had improved somewhat, the two discussed and decided to send their daughter to Bailu Zhou to recuperate for some time. This was because that place was not only more spacious than Jiankang, but though situated on the river, the island was surrounded by small hills on three sides, making it warm in winter and cool in summer with much better climate than the city, especially during such winter days when the city was damp and cold – in comparison, the island was much warmer.

After discussing this, they chose an auspicious day. Gao Qiao escorted his wife and daughter to Bailu Zhou, and after settling them in, returned to the city himself.

This time Luoshen fell ill, it certainly wasn’t from sulking with her parents or deliberately harming herself – she had no reason to do such a thing.

That night after she had sought out her father, the next day she learned that her cousin Gao Yin had already rushed north across the Yangtze to mobilize troops and go aid Li Mu.

As for that battle in Shu territory, how the final victory or defeat would turn out, she couldn’t predict, nor was it within her ability to control.

But her father had ultimately made such a decision, and for this she was extremely grateful, feeling greatly comforted in her heart.

From childhood to adulthood, her father had been like a god in her mind.

When he failed in the Northern Expedition and returned south in dejection, she had been born not long before and hadn’t personally witnessed that scene, having no memory of it whatsoever.

But this not only didn’t affect her worship of her father, but rather made her feel an additional tragic heroic reverence for him whenever she thought of it.

Growing up studying alongside her brothers, listening to them debate national affairs during breaks from studies, though she wouldn’t say anything, as she gradually matured she came to understand somewhat that her father was no longer as sharp as before, no longer the heroic figure she had imagined in her childhood.

But she had always understood her father – in his position as head of the Gao family, he had his helplessness and various considerations.

But this time, when she learned that her father had actually acquiesced to those people using Li Mu as a chess piece in their secret power struggles to pursue their own unspeakable private interests, she had truly been very disappointed.

Fortunately, in the end, her father was still the father she knew, and for this she felt extremely comforted.

During the first few days when she was most seriously ill, seeing her parents’ anxiety, she herself wanted to recover quickly, but her body wouldn’t cooperate.

These days, having moved to Bailu Zhou with her mother and staying for over half a month, under the careful care of her mother and A’Ju and the others, slowly her health finally began to improve and her spirits recovered.

The end of the year gradually approached.

Because of the previous matter of marrying off their daughter, though the Gao family remained a topic of others’ private discussion even now, aside from the Lu family, on the surface those households that had previously maintained social connections naturally still actively visited back and forth. Moreover, with the Gao family’s many branch relatives, there was a heap of miscellaneous household affairs.

Xiao Yongjia sent A’Ju back to assist Lady Gao Yun in handling these matters, while she and her daughter continued to remain here.

This afternoon, she went to Ziyun Temple to perform rituals and pray for blessings for her daughter, leaving Luoshen alone at the estate.

Feeling drowsy in the afternoon, she took a nap, but unexpectedly had a chaotic, confused dream.

At first she didn’t know what she was dreaming about, everything hazy and unclear. Gradually the dream became clearer, and she actually dreamed that Lu Jianzhi had died.

She was horrified beyond measure.

But this wasn’t the end. Subsequently, an even more terrifying dream occurred.

She suddenly and inexplicably dreamed of Li Mu.

He too was dead!

Moreover, covered in blood all over his face, he was pressing down on top of her, his death extremely ghastly.

She was directly frightened awake from the nightmare. When she sat up, her entire body was covered in cold sweat, trembling all over, her heart beating so fast it seemed about to leap from her throat.

Though she had awakened, those blood-streaming eyes that had stared at her in the dream and the two terrifying gazes in his pupils that she simply couldn’t describe in words remained vivid before her eyes.

She sat trembling on the bed alone, lost in thought for a long time, until a servant discovered she had awakened and came in to attend her, wiping away the sweat and changing her clothes, before she slowly calmed her soul.

But her mood became extremely foul.

The entire afternoon, she hugged the warming pot in her arms, staring blankly at the faintly visible winter river scenery outside the window.

The riverbank was planted full of cherry trees. In spring, it would be a mass of pink and crimson, looking like brilliant rosy clouds from afar.

But in this season, the view was bare and barren. The occasional shadows of a few white cranes that had flown south from the north to winter and nest were the only bright spot of color in this gray bleakness.

After Lu Xiurong’s marriage, Luoshen had sent her a wedding gift in her own name.

Lu Xiurong had also sent her a return gift.

At this moment, Luoshen suddenly wanted to write another letter to Lu Xiurong to inquire about Lu Jianzhi’s news.

Since he had gone to Jiaozhou, she hadn’t had any news of him, not knowing how he was now.

That scene from the night before his departure when he came to bid farewell to her father and she watched his retreating figure leave now surfaced in her mind again.

Luoshen took up brush and ink and wrote a letter.

After finishing the letter, she didn’t immediately have someone send it out.

Once, she and Lu Xiurong had been intimate friends without barriers, growing up together, even sharing the same bed, talking about almost everything with no secrets between them.

But now, it seemed an invisible barrier was gradually separating her from her once dearest friend.

Luoshen stared at the letter alone for a moment, then silently threw it into the brazier, watching the paper catch fire and slowly turn to grayish-white ash in the dancing flames.

She suppressed the turmoil in her heart and called for Qiongshu to bring her a white fur-trimmed cloak for going out. After putting it on, she left the room and headed toward Ziyun Temple.

She suddenly didn’t want to continue staying here and wanted to return to her home in the city.

She knew about Li Mu’s initial arrival in Ba Commandery and his victory in the first battle.

But so much time had passed since then, and she knew nothing about the subsequent developments of the war or how her cousin’s reinforcement efforts were progressing.

Back home, if there were new reports about the Shu campaign, her father would surely be the first to know.

Ever since their previous unpleasantness and her subsequent illness, during this time her mother had absolutely refused to mention even half a sentence about Li Mu in her presence.

She also couldn’t bring herself to ask proactively.

But Luoshen knew that after this campaign ended, even if Li Mu could return alive, regardless of the outcome, her mother was determined not to let her return to Jingkou again.

Regarding Li Mu’s forceful demand to marry her, which completely changed her originally planned life, she remained resentful to this day, and each time she thought of it, she felt distressed anew.

Though this man was not as despicable as she had imagined before marriage.

His mother and younger sister were also extremely kind – in just the brief month of interaction, she had grown attached to them and still missed them.

But these feelings were not enough to make her stubbornly oppose her own mother to the very end for their sake.

She had already prepared herself to break all ties with him and never return to Jingkou again.

But deep in her heart, she still couldn’t completely cast aside her concern for his life and death.

Especially after experiencing such a terrifying nightmare today.

She hoped he could remain safe and return home soon.

His mother and sister were truly longing for his return day and night.

…

Luoshen arrived at Ziyun Temple.

The gatekeeper nun saw her arrival, showed a smile, and warmly came forward to receive her.

Luoshen asked a question and learned that her mother was performing rituals and praying for blessings at Xianxia Hall, so she went there.

Arriving at that place, she saw only a few nuns still chanting inside along with servants from her mother’s retinue, but didn’t see her mother’s figure.

Master Liao Chenzi was also not there.

The servants said that the ritual had just concluded. The Eldest Princess, having knelt in worship for half the day, had sore and weak legs and couldn’t stand steadily. After being helped up, she had been invited by the master to the rear hall cloud chamber to rest briefly.

Luoshen nodded and told them not to follow, as she knew the way well. She took Qiongshu and Yingtao with her.

Turning to the rear hall, she came to the cloud chamber called “Clear Fortune Immortal Residence” and saw the door was closed. She had the maids wait at the bottom of the steps while she lifted her skirts and went up. Reaching the door, she gently pushed, and was surprised to discover the door was actually barred from inside.

In broad daylight, her mother was only here to rest briefly – what secret matter did she have to discuss with that old Taoist nun that required barring the door?

Luoshen couldn’t help but feel puzzled. She raised her hand, about to knock on the door, when suddenly she faintly heard what seemed to be a young man’s voice speaking inside. Her hand froze, and her heart filled with startled suspicion.

Bailu Zhou belonged entirely to her mother. Apart from a few necessary male servants and guards kept at the estate, year-round no strange men were ever allowed to set foot there.

Not to mention, this was a female Taoist temple – how could a man’s voice be coming from the cloud chamber in the rear hall?

Luoshen at first thought she had heard wrong and listened more carefully.

This time she was certain without doubt.

Right at this moment, right inside the cloud chamber, there was a young man speaking.

“Eldest Princess… let this slave massage your feet…”

The cloud chamber had two sections, an outer room and inner room. That voice clearly came from the inner room.

Though there was some distance and she couldn’t hear very clearly, when Luoshen pressed her ear to the door crack, she still managed to catch this sentence.

Her eyes widened and her entire body froze instantly, standing there unable to move for a moment.

Though her family never mentioned even half a word in front of her, growing up in Jiankang, Luoshen had more or less heard about the private intimate lives that those dissolute noble ladies in the city conducted behind closed doors.

For instance, that Yulin Princess Consort Zhu Jiyue – it was said she kept several beautiful young men to serve her lewd pleasures.

Noble ladies like Zhu Jiyue were countless.

But Luoshen had never imagined that one day her own mother, Eldest Princess Qinghe Xiao Yongjia, would also do the same things as Zhu Jiyue and those others.

This was impossible!

Though her parents’ relationship was troubled and they had openly lived apart for several years, deep in Luoshen’s heart she still stubbornly harbored a hope that someday A’Ye and A’Niang could reconcile.

She was stunned!

Her heart pounded rapidly.

A feeling mixing intense disappointment and anger at the injustice to A’Ye rapidly filled her mind.

Her face flushed red, and in her fury she was about to pound forcefully on the door to stop her mother’s behavior on the spot, but then suddenly stopped.

Her mother still had excellent years ahead of her, was beautiful and moving, yet lived apart from her father year-round.

Though Luoshen loved A’Ye dearly, she had to admit A’Ye was truly too busy.

His heart was occupied by many matters, leaving very little for her mother.

At least, she had hardly felt it.

Though her mother had never mentioned even half a sentence about her loneliness and solitude in front of her, sometimes from A’Ju’s scattered words and sighs, Luoshen also knew A’Niang was truly very lonely.

She lived alone on this river island. Days were manageable, but those many long nights – Luoshen wasn’t entirely clear how A’Niang spent them after she herself had fallen asleep.

She froze in place as her earlier anger slowly subsided, leaving only bewilderment and sadness in her heart, not knowing what to do for a moment.

Just as tears were about to fall, suddenly she heard a “crash” from inside, seemingly the sound of a teacup being thrown to the ground and shattering.

“Get out of here! If I see you again, I’ll kill you!”

Her mother’s voice suddenly became loud, clearly reaching Luoshen’s ears.

Accompanied by a jumble of pleading voices from the old nun and that man, her footsteps approached, seeming to stride angrily toward the outside.

Luoshen’s heart began racing again. Without time to think, she spun around, lifted her skirts, and fled rapidly down the steps, signaling her maids to follow closely. She ran all the way to the corridor leading to this place before stopping, supporting herself on the railing and gasping heavily.

She hadn’t yet caught her breath when her mother’s footsteps sounded from behind.

Luoshen forcibly composed herself, suddenly turned and walked forward. After a few steps, looking up and seeing her mother’s figure, she stopped and smiled, calling out “A’Niang.”

Xiao Yongjia’s face was pale, her cheekbones faintly flushed with an unhealthy red, her brows carrying a trace of anger. As she strode out quickly, suddenly seeing her daughter walking toward her, she was startled and instinctively stopped: “A’Mi, why are you here?”

“A’Niang, I had nothing to do, so I came to meet you. They said you were here, so your daughter came to check on you.” Luoshen suppressed the tension in her heart and smiled as if nothing had happened.

Xiao Yongjia composed herself and looked carefully at her daughter. Seeing her expression was normal and she indeed seemed to have come here to meet her, encountering her by chance at this spot.

Thinking of the scene just now in the cloud chamber, she couldn’t help but still feel her heart pounding with shock.

Fortunately she had promptly driven the person away and come out early.

If she were still inside at this moment, and if her daughter had heard anything, how could she ever hold her head up in front of her in the future?

Xiao Yongjia steadied herself and stepped forward with a smile: “I was just tired, so I came over here to rest my feet. Mother is fine now, let’s go, let’s return.”

Luoshen nodded and followed Xiao Yongjia back to the front hall. They left the temple together, both got in the heated carriage, and returned to the estate. Her wildly beating heart finally slowly calmed down.

“A’Niang, my health has recovered. I miss A’Ye somewhat. I want to go back.” She leaned her face against her mother’s bosom, speaking softly and pleadingly.

Xiao Yongjia hesitated only briefly before nodding: “Very well, we’ll return tomorrow. It’s year-end anyway, and there are some matters at home.”

Luoshen completely relaxed, tightly hugging her mother’s arm as if she might run away if she let go.

Xiao Yongjia looked down at her, seeing her small face still carried a trace of sickly pallor, not having regained the weight she’d lost. She embraced her daughter, her voice full of tender love.

“Your health still isn’t fully recovered, and the weather is cold. Why did you need to come out? What if you catch cold again…”

Luoshen leaned against her mother’s side, smelling that familiar faint orchid fragrance emanating from her, and slowly closed her eyes.

“A’Niang, if Li Mu can’t return, will you look after his mother and sister in the future?”

Xiao Yongjia was startled. Looking down, she saw her daughter still had her eyes closed, face pale. After hesitating, she gave a faint “mm” of acknowledgment.

She felt her daughter’s hand seemed to hug her arm even tighter, and complex emotions flashed in her eyes.

…

Mother and daughter returned to the estate. Xiao Yongjia had someone escort Luoshen back to her room first. Watching her daughter’s figure depart, she turned around and her smile disappeared. She said coldly: “Immediately go drive all the people from the temple away! Don’t leave a single one! Anyone who dares to linger and refuse to leave – kill them!”

The guards received the order and left.

A trace of disgust flashed across Xiao Yongjia’s brow. She finally let out a long breath before turning to go inside. Suddenly she heard urgent footsteps from outside the main gate, as if someone was running in.

The only one who dared walk like this here was Gao Huan.

Xiao Yongjia turned around, and indeed, Gao Huan had already stepped across the threshold with an excited expression, shouting: “Aunt! Where is Elder Sister? Good news has come from Shu! Li Mu has achieved great victory! Not only did he retake Ba Commandery, he also captured Liangzhou! He can return to the capital before the New Year! Where is Elder Sister? I must find her!”

As he spoke, he strode rapidly inside.