When Qing Ye ran to the alley entrance, she witnessed a scene she would never forget. Shu Han, in her over-knee boots with her hair flying wildly, stood surrounded by yellow sand swirling between her and Xing Wu, like an unstoppable vortex forming between them.
Even from a distance, she could see Shu Han’s desperate eyes as she looked up at Xing Wu, her expression beneath heavy makeup utterly desolate: “You think I want to dance between all these men every day? Jiang Hai Tao talks pretty and tells me to be with him, but he has countless women. I’ve had enough. I don’t want to live like this anymore.”
Qing Ye gradually stopped, the fierce wind disheveling her slightly curled hair. Her feet felt like lead, unable to move a step, as she stared at the tears falling from Shu Han’s eyes. She had never seen Shu Han like this before. She was still smiling, a bewitching smile, as she raised her head and grabbed Xing Wu’s leather jacket, mustering her last bit of strength, her eyes cold: “Wu, I always thought I could wait for that day.”
The wild wind still whistled past her ears, but Qing Ye felt as if it had pierced through her body and into her heart. She suddenly felt this woman’s desolation and struggle, presented so raw before her. This was Shu Han’s most genuine fear, hidden within her shell for who knows how many years, finally erupting in this sandstorm.
Quan Ya also ran out, stopping beside Qing Ye to watch them. Xing Wu kept his eyes half-lowered and finally removed Shu Han’s hand, his voice terrifyingly low: “Stop waiting.”
Shu Han’s expression froze on her face, and then she suddenly laughed, actually breaking into audible laughter. She immediately pointed at Qing Ye and demanded: “Because of her? Wu, have you lost your fucking mind? Nobody wants to take the work in the east county. I’ve told you so many times not to go where there’s radiation. Are you choosing money over your life?
Are you planning to fund her studies abroad, huh?”
Xing Wu suddenly raised his head to look at Qing Ye. She stood frozen in shock, her dark eyes flickering wildly. The wind grew stronger, and her body trembled more violently as if she could hear her teeth chattering.
Shu Han couldn’t understand Xing Wu’s impulsiveness and even less could she comprehend how he could be willing to risk so much for a girl he’d known for such a short time. This wasn’t just about her personal feelings for Xing Wu – even considering their years of friendship, she couldn’t bear to see him being so irrational.
Shu Han angrily raised her fist again and struck Xing Wu’s shoulder hard. She didn’t know he was injured and didn’t hold back her strength. Xing Wu let out a low groan, veins bulging on his forehead. Shu Han suddenly lost control and shouted at him: “You’re such an idiot! Are you short of money? Would you be working this hard if it weren’t for her? Do you think she’ll come back to this dump to find you after she goes abroad? She might understand a little about love now, but once she steps out of the country, she won’t even remember your name. Wake the fuck up!”
Xing Wu clenched his jaw, his eyes covered with a layer of detachment, and dropped: “That’s my business.”
He turned and strode toward Qing Ye, firmly grasping her ice-cold hand, then patted Quan Ya: “Take your sister home.”
Then he hailed a cab and left with Qing Ye.
The sandstorm grew stronger. Qing Ye wasn’t sure if this was the beginning of a dust storm. She had experienced dust storms in Beijing too. The worst one was when she was still in elementary school. Her mother had picked her up from tutoring class, and the afternoon sky had turned terrifyingly dark as if it were the end of the world. She had curled up in her mother’s embrace, clutching her tightly, saying she was scared, and her mother had buried her face in her clothes.
Years had passed since then, and her mother was no longer by her side. Now, as the dust storm swept in again, the only person she could count on, could rely on, was this boy beside her – this boy… whom she had known for merely a few months.
But dust storms eventually pass. What would happen between them when she no longer needed to rely on this boy? She had never thought about such long-term questions before.
When she first came to Xing Wu’s home, she hadn’t intended to be a burden to them. Uncle Sun had given Li Lan Fang some money, and although she had found this despicable at the time, feeling like the relationship was bought with money, she later realized it made things psychologically easier, without too much burden. It was like an agreed-upon transaction – once complete, she would leave, and they would continue their lives, owing nothing to each other.
But today she realized that everything wasn’t as simple as she had thought. She had unknowingly become Xing Wu’s burden; he was even making plans for her life after studying abroad. She had never wanted to be anyone’s burden, especially when his shoulders already carried such heavy responsibilities.
When she heard Shu Han mention he had taken such dangerous work, Qing Ye’s heart clenched. She remembered what Quan Ya had once told her – he could have lived an easy life, like most people here, even if aimlessly, taking each day as it came. At least his life wouldn’t have been so full of ups and downs, so difficult.
She even felt that if she hadn’t appeared, Shu Han wouldn’t be suffering like this now. Honestly, although Qing Ye understood Shu Han’s feelings for Xing Wu, she didn’t dislike Shu Han. Rather, she felt some things were quite helpless, especially her situation. Perhaps she too wanted to find a man and marry like normal girls, but once you’ve waded through the river, many things aren’t so easy to escape from.
Maybe Xing Wu was her only hope, but everything had been disrupted by her appearance. She had disrupted everyone’s lives, and their life trajectories, and might even eventually just walk away leaving behind a mess. The more Qing Ye thought about it, the more her head hurt, almost wishing she could just explode on the spot.
So on the way back, she was very quiet, many strange thoughts running through her mind, making her very anxious. Xing Wu was also silent, staring out the window without a word.
The only constant was that he never let go of her hand, holding it tightly.
After getting out of the cab, they found Xuan Island had closed early today. Due to the dust storm, Du Qi Yan and Liu Nian had gone home early, and Li Lan Fang had gone next door to play mahjong at Zhao Ma Zi’s place.
Back home, Qing Ye went straight upstairs and started working on test papers. Often when she couldn’t find a way out, she could only relieve her anxiety by solving problems. Although others might find her method of relieving anxiety strange, it worked well for her.
When she came downstairs after finishing a test paper, Xing Wu was changing his bandage. She saw that the bandage Dr. Zhuang had applied at noon had been torn off and thrown aside, stained with fresh blood. He was struggling awkwardly to wrap it with one hand.
Qing Ye walked over and took the bandage, lowering her head as she redressed his wound, her voice muffled: “Couldn’t you dodge?”
Xing Wu glanced up at her and said flatly: “She was drunk. Let her vent her anger, and she won’t look for me anymore.”
Qing Ye said nothing, silently finished bandaging him, and went back upstairs.
That night, Xing Wu stayed downstairs alone, not going up to disturb Qing Ye’s studying. It was rare for them not to chat nonsense before bed, or hold hands. They just turned off the lights and went to sleep, each lost in their thoughts.
On Sunday, Qing Ye left early, saying she was going to Shi Min’s house. Pang Hu went too. Xing Wu didn’t see her all day, and when he returned in the evening, she had already gone to bed.
On Monday morning at school, Qing Ye learned that the An Zhi student with the knife had been sent to the police station. The others were fine, and no parents had come to complain about their children fighting at school.
This alone was quite remarkable. At Qing Ye’s former international school, conflicts between students were inevitable, but their fights were usually about money, always coming down to money in the end.
But here, as long as things didn’t get too extreme, nobody would call the police over getting punched or demand compensation for emotional distress. That didn’t exist here. Running to the police to complain was considered shameful in these hot-blooded young men’s eyes. A fight was just a fight – if you lost, you accepted it, like Da Cao did.
But Qing Ye knew Da Cao wouldn’t let this loss of face go easily.
During the morning assembly, student Hao Cheng Gong was invited to the stage – the only time in his three years of high school that he wasn’t there to read a self-criticism.
This time Yellow Hair was on stage to receive school-wide recognition. After all, he had broken An Zhong’s long-standing record of coming last in the marathon, miraculously finishing first. Principal Zhong felt extremely proud and had specifically asked Class Four’s homeroom teacher last night to tell Yellow Hair to bring the trophy to school for a showing before all teachers and students.
However, because the scene Yellow Hair had witnessed in the alley that day was too shocking, he had dropped the trophy, denting it badly. He had tried to hammer it back into shape, but the trophy’s quality was so poor that not only did it not regain its shape, he ended up putting a hole in it.
So when he held up the broken trophy on stage, Pang Hu stood at the back of Class Two scratching his head in confusion, saying to Xing Wu beside him: “This… this year’s trophy design is quite… unique, huh.”
“…”
Xing Wu glanced at Qing Ye standing at the front. Due to her proper appearance and excellent academic performance, ever since she arrived, Old Witch always arranged her at the front of any formation. Now with her ponytail, he could only see the back of her head. Xing Wu remembered that morning when Yellow Hair had come to Xuan Island at six o’clock with his broken trophy, saying he hadn’t slept well for two nights.
Xing Wu had thought he was excited about getting first place, but it turned out he had spent two nights puzzling over Qing Ye and Xing Wu’s relationship, still unable to figure it out.
So when Qing Ye left that morning, she saw two guys squatting at Xuan Island’s entrance in the cold, chain-smoking without speaking, just squatting there smoking – quite a peculiar scene early in the morning.
She adjusted her bag strap and looked at Xing Wu. Xing Wu felt she had wanted to say something then, but after glancing at Yellow Hair, she left without saying anything.
Yellow Hair had asked him puzzledly: “Huh? Weren’t you two all lovey-dovey yesterday? Did you fight? It wasn’t because of me, was it?”
“…” Where did this sense of importance come from?
At noon, when Xing Wu and Yellow Hair’s group came out of the school store heading toward the playground, they saw Qing Ye sitting alone lost in thought by the basketball court. Yellow Hair muttered strangely: “Isn’t that Qing Ye?”
Pang Hu immediately called out: “Qing, Qing Ye, why aren’t you doing practice problems today?”
When Qing Ye turned her head, Xing Wu, who was at the back, happened to look up at her when he heard the voice. Their gazes briefly met in the air before Qing Ye turned away, continuing to wear her earphones while leaning against the chair by the basketball court, staring blankly at the boys playing basketball.
Yellow Hair fell back a step and said to Xing Wu: “Brother Wu, something seems off with Qing Ye today?”
Xing Wu said nothing and walked toward her. Soon, a dark shadow fell over Qing Ye. When she looked up, Xing Wu stood before her against the light, extending his hand to give her a drink. She took it, opened it, took a sip, and placed it by her feet.
Xing Wu sat down beside her, his sharp features and flying sideburns attracting glances from girls on the other side.
Neither spoke, just quietly watching the second-year boys running wild on the court.
After a long while, Qing Ye suddenly spoke: “Don’t take that job.”
Xing Wu straightened up, leaning sideways against the chair back, watching her. Qing Ye turned her head and suddenly smiled faintly, revealing a dimple at the corner of her mouth that seemed ethereal in the sunlight: “Really, it’s not worth it.”
Xing Wu’s gaze was indifferent, his voice carrying a hint of carelessness: “What’s not worth it?”
Qing Ye’s lips still held that seemingly relaxed smile, her gaze returning to the playground in the sunlight, saying somewhat wistfully: “Nobody can be certain about the future. Don’t invest too much in me. It’s not worth it.”
After a moment, Xing Wu stood up, hands in his pockets, turned around with a “Heh.”
“???”
Watching his retreating figure, Qing Ye suddenly felt like she was being a terrible person.
From the moment she decided to be with Xing Wu, she didn’t want any regrets in life. Otherwise, looking back after twenty years, having liked a boy in high school but never telling him throughout her life – that kind of thing seemed too awful to Qing Ye. It wasn’t her style, so she had bravely taken that step.
But this didn’t mean she could see their future. Many things she was taking one step at a time, just as she had told Xing Wu before – she was gambling with the future, and gambling naturally had wins and losses. She didn’t know what would happen in the future.
But one thing was certain: no matter what happened, she didn’t want to hurt Xing Wu. If he had to shoulder the pressure of sending her abroad alone, Qing Ye couldn’t bear it, nor could she promise to return to this place after finishing her studies to repay this favor. Moreover, she had always disliked owing favors, especially one this big. She felt it wasn’t fair to Xing Wu.
Xing Wu had an irresistible attraction for Qing Ye. She liked his roguish smile, his fierce dominance, his playful teasing. She enjoyed being with him; he gave her a sense of having someone to rely on. Qing Ye thought their current relationship was quite good – there was no need to burden one person with both their futures. Live in the present.
So ever since hearing about Xing Wu taking such dangerous work, her mood had been quite heavy.
However, now that she had spoken to Xing Wu about it, it made her seem like she was planning to dump him after going abroad – quite cruel and heartless. Especially that “Heh” Xing Wu had thrown at her was quite haunting.
Qing Ye felt like she had wronged him, and couldn’t bring herself to look back at him all afternoon.