The cool evening breeze dispersed some of the alcohol scent from her body. Xu Xingchun’s profile was buried in shadow, his hand hanging down, covering her waist. Fu Xueli used her fingernails to trace the texture of Xu Xingchun’s jacket, lowering her head, her earlobes slightly red, “When did you get back?”

“Today.” Xu Xingchun’s eyes were half-closed, “You already asked me that.”

The bureau had been working overtime these past few days, everyone from top to bottom busy trying to untangle the complex, layered relationships within that drug trafficking organization and sort through the case details. He’d returned to the neighboring city as soon as he finished handing over his work, having slept less than five hours total over several days.

“Oh…” Fu Xueli mumbled very softly, a bit innocent, “I forgot, my memory hasn’t been great lately. Do you still have things to do?”

“Yes.”

“Huh?” Only then did she look up, staring at his face, exhaling a thin mist. “How are you even busier than me? Can your body handle it?”

Their eyes met. Xu Xingchun’s fingers lifted Fu Xueli’s chin, his gaze holding an undisguised aggression.

He didn’t like answering such boring questions.

Couldn’t kiss her, so it was a waste of time.

Fu Xueli’s heart stirred. She obediently tilted her chin up. Just as she closed her eyes, her phone suddenly rang.

A chorus of chattering voices came from the other end. Song Yifan was obviously drunk, slurring as he laughed about something, “Where’d you run off to, Fu Xueli? We’re going to Brother Li’s house for a party later, are you coming or not?”

“I…” Fu Xueli tilted her head, glanced at Xu Xingchun who was so close, pondered for two seconds then refused, “I’m not going.”

Song Yifan, that idiot who partied every night, always killed the mood.

“Damn, you’re standing us up? If you’re not coming, what are you going to do?”

“None of your business.” Her speech was somewhat unnatural. She stepped back a bit—disturbed by Xu Xingchun’s faint breathing.

Song Yifan asked strangely, “Who are you with?”

Fu Xueli’s head was a muddle, “Okay, not talking anymore. I’m going home to rest and recuperate. You guys have fun.”

Without waiting for Song Yifan’s reaction, she hung up.

Someone supported the back of her neck. Almost in the next second, Xu Xingchun’s lips pressed against hers, gently parting her teeth.

While being kissed into a daze, she was still thinking.

Did Xu Xingchun have some kind of starvation syndrome…

On the snowy night, tree branches were still pressed down with accumulated snow, the ground too, making slight crunching sounds when stepped on.

They took a roundabout route. The snowy weather was cold, and Fu Xueli was afraid of being recognized, so she wore the full set—mask, hat, scarf—revealing only her eyes. During this time at the hotel entrance, people came and went. There were quite a few old classmates, most having just finished dinner, all in high spirits, tipsy.

Her hands in her pockets, unhurried, she followed a bit behind Xu Xingchun, the two maintaining some distance. Her gaze wandered everywhere, taking in the neighboring city’s night scenery, when she inadvertently made eye contact with someone.

“Xu Xingchun.” Ma Xuanrui stood not far away, shifting her gaze, changing her line of sight, and greeted him blandly.

Fu Xueli’s steps stopped too. Xu Xingchun nodded in acknowledgment.

All along the way, Ma Xuanrui wasn’t the first person to recognize Xu Xingchun and greet him. At most, she had the added identity of being a colleague.

As they passed by Ma Xuanrui, she asked with feigned casualness, “By the way, your clothes are still at my place. When will you come get them? I’ve already washed them for you.”

Her voice was soft, neither loud nor quiet, just enough to fall into Fu Xueli’s ears.

Xu Xingchun seemed to think for a moment, his reaction minimal.

“Throw them away.”

That was his answer as they brushed past.

On the drive taking her home, Xu Xingchun drove. While stuck at a red light, Fu Xueli asked with apparent casualness, “What’s going on with you and Ma Xuanrui? How long have you been colleagues?”

She propped up her chin, staring ahead idly, her tone casual.

“Don’t know.”

He hadn’t paid attention.

Fu Xueli turned her head, said vaguely, “When the class had dinner before, I saw you chatting with her. What were you talking about?”

Xu Xingchun said offhandedly, “Nothing important.”

Originally having many things she wanted to say, Fu Xueli pressed her lips together, suddenly losing her mood, and tidied her hair.

An indescribable emotion exploded in her heart.

She couldn’t bring herself to ask what was up with the clothes Ma Xuanrui had mentioned.

Anything involving matters related to Xu Xingchun over these past years, she would instinctively avoid. Both guilty conscience and cowardice were at play. Before this, Fu Xueli had thought for a long time about whether to have an honest conversation with him, but later decided against it. She was a bit afraid to face it—regarding his past, she always felt somewhat powerless.

She knew she had wronged Xu Xingchun, so in many matters she was always guilty and lacking confidence, unable to open this topic.

But some things, even if you tried to treat them as if they never happened, still remained like a thorn lodged in your heart—a bit sour and a bit painful.

Arriving at the familiar villa residential area, the car slowly stopped at the iron gate.

“Then I’ll go back…” Fu Xueli glanced at Xu Xingchun’s silent profile. She spoke very slowly, forcing herself to rally. “Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, where will you spend it?”

She didn’t know if it was psychological, but the atmosphere that had somewhat eased felt awkward again.

“I won’t be in the neighboring city.” Xu Xingchun paused before answering.

Thinking of how his mother had passed away long ago, she made an acknowledging sound, returned her gaze forward, raised her hand to unfasten her seatbelt, preparing to leave, “Okay, then… we’ll keep in touch by phone.”

Just as she moved, her wrist was suddenly grabbed.

“Wait five minutes before leaving.” Xu Xingchun said.

So for these few minutes, they just sat in the car, each silent, neither speaking. Fu Xueli lazily leaned against the seat back, spacing out for a while, until the large bell in the distance began ringing with rhythmic frequency.

When the bell finished chiming, she opened the door and got out of the car. Without saying a word or making a sound, after the car door slammed shut, she walked forward alone in rapid strides.

The snow fell relentlessly at night. The air was a bit fresher, but the gloomy weather always put people in a bad mood.

Fu Xueli suddenly realized there were too many problems between her and Xu Xingchun, their relationship too fragile. Even such a small matter could freeze things to this extent.

Really gloomy and miserable…

After walking a hundred meters, Fu Xueli’s steps gradually slowed.

Her heart felt heavy. Unable to resist, she quietly looked back.

—No one there.

How was Xu Xingchun still the same as before—desireless and uninteresting, completely unable to understand a woman’s little temper tantrums?

Fu Xueli felt somewhat breathless.

In high school, Xu Xingchun was like two different people inside and outside school. As long as he was alone with her, he absolutely wouldn’t leave her side even for a moment, completely different from the class president everyone else knew. This resulted in a large portion of Fu Xueli’s leisure time being occupied, so she was seriously dissatisfied. Most of the time when she threw little tantrums at Xu Xingchun, he was completely good-tempered to the point of having no principles.

Later, after graduating high school, Xu Xingchun’s controlling nature intensified. Fu Xueli nearly broke up with him over this. After that, at some point, Xu Xingchun developed the habit of no longer restricting her departures everywhere.

Sometimes when they fought and she left in anger, he wouldn’t make a sound either. Until one time when Fu Xueli looked back, she discovered he had always been alone the whole time, silently following behind her.

Very lonely, looking like he had no other options.

Thinking of this, her chest suddenly ached. An invisible sense of guilt appeared again, grinding over her heart.

Actually… just now she was the one being moody again, throwing a little tantrum.

Clearly knowing that Xu Xingchun wasn’t good with words, that he was stuffy, didn’t know how to coax people—why was she getting mad at him?

If she just left like this, he would definitely suffer alone and never say anything.

The more Fu Xueli thought about it, the more uneasy she felt, her steps completely unable to continue.

That white Audi indeed hadn’t left, stopped in place with the engine off. Everything around was pitch black. Fu Xueli walked over, her footsteps very light. The car was parked to one side. Xu Xingchun sat alone on a wooden bench not far away. The light flickered bright and dim. He held a cigarette in his mouth, unlit, just loosely held between his lips.

On such a freezing night, sitting there, as if unaware of the cold.

If she didn’t return, would he sit there alone until dawn before leaving?

“—Xu Xingchun.”

Hearing this voice, Xu Xingchun’s stagnant thoughts eased. He looked up toward the source.

Fu Xueli had returned at some point, walking into the light, her expression dispirited, “Why are you sitting here alone again?”

She had just willfully abandoned him and walked away alone.

“…” Biting the cigarette, he looked at her, unable to speak.

Fu Xueli pouted, took the cigarette from Xu Xingchun’s mouth, used two fingers to smooth out his furrowed brow, “Don’t frown.”

Xu Xingchun raised his hand, gripped her slender fingertips, his voice a bit hoarse, “Why are you unhappy?”

“Me?” This question was too sudden, leaving Fu Xueli stunned before she realized what Xu Xingchun was asking.

One standing, one sitting, they stood in the bitterly cold winter night. Fu Xueli sniffled, honestly said, “I’m angry at you and Ma Xuanrui.”

After a moment of silence, he spoke, “We’re not close.”

So Fu Xueli immediately pressed, “Then why are your clothes at her place?”

“We went on a mission before. When capturing someone, we had to play a pair of siblings. She wore my clothes.” His explanation was simple and immediately comprehensible.

But Fu Xueli still dwelled on it, “Then why didn’t you tell me what you two talked about?”

“…”

In the dim night, his face remained handsome. Xu Xingchun’s tone unchanged, understated, “Unimportant things, I rarely remember.”

His few short sentences immediately brightened Fu Xueli’s mood.

She hadn’t expected her emotions to fluctuate so dramatically.

How deeply infatuated with Xu Xingchun must she be to be manipulated to this extent?

Too fierce, too sudden.

Actually, attachment wasn’t something only he felt—she felt it too.

Just realized it a bit late.

With her mood improved, Fu Xueli’s voice was soft. Her hand pressed on Xu Xingchun’s shoulder, saying with concern, “Then in the future, if you don’t want me to leave, just say directly that you want me to stay. Don’t wait around alone like a fool. Aren’t you tired?”

Thinking of her own immature behavior, Fu Xueli hesitated a moment, then unprecedented, apologized to him, “Okay, actually I have problems too. I’m sorry, I was being childish. I know I was wrong. Just now I knew you would definitely feel bad, but I still got out of the car and left. I’ll slowly make it up to you in the future, okay?”

Compared to Xu Xingchun, Fu Xueli had too many schemes and tricks. Ordinary people would be completely defenseless against such sweet talk, let alone him.

She crouched on the ground in front of him, legs curled, like a well-behaved pet.

“Come here.” Xu Xingchun leaned forward, pulling her up. Fu Xueli, confused and bewildered, had just raised her head when she crashed into his embrace, hissing in pain from the impact.

Xu Xingchun also knew his strength had been too much. Just that right now he couldn’t quite control it.

He used all the self-control of a mature man. Still couldn’t quite hold out. He lowered his head and sniffed at her cheek, warm breath brushing past, “When are you going back?”

Fu Xueli embraced him, saying nothing.

After a long while, her red lips parted slightly, muffledly saying, “I don’t have to go back.”

Said she wouldn’t go back, so she wouldn’t go back.

Not like they were minors anymore.

Fu Xueli called home, saying she was going to play at Li Jieyi and the others’ place, would probably stay overnight.

After hanging up, her inner emotions overflowed. She took Xu Xingchun’s hand, “Come on, big sister will take you to get a room.”

They wandered the streets of the neighboring city until midnight before going to a hotel. She was very afraid of the cold. After turning on the heat, when the hotel room warmed up a bit,

Fu Xueli took off her coat, wearing only a sweater underneath.

She’d been running around all day, her body had accumulated quite a bit of dirt, sticky and uncomfortable. She told Xu Xingchun she was going to take a hot shower first in the bathroom.

The hazy steam dispersed. She closed her eyes, letting the water stream wash over her face.

After washing, she examined her face in the mirror, holding a small towel, recalling everything that happened tonight, absentmindedly drying her hair.

Pushing open the bathroom door, Xu Xingchun was leaning against the wall. In the corridor lit with dim light, their gazes unexpectedly met.

Her eyes couldn’t settle. She pursed her lips, mumbling, “You can go wash now…”

Why was he standing here…

Walking to sit on the edge of the bed, Fu Xueli continued drying her hair, but from the corner of her eye she saw Xu Xingchun taking off his coat, piece by piece, tossing them on the chair back.

Why wasn’t he going inside to undress?

Fu Xueli thought, propriety dictates no improper looking. No, can’t look.

Must resist.

After resisting for a while, holding to the philosophy of look now, don’t look and you’ll regret it, Fu Xueli half-squinted her eyes and turned her head.

—He was already half undressed.

Xu Xingchun seemed unaware of her gaze. His hands crossed, raised over his head, the hem of his shirt being pulled off from bottom to top.

Due to his work nature, he maintained a considerable degree of exercise, his figure very good.

Firm abs. Undulating lines, ribs disappearing into his low-waisted pants.

Beautiful curves. Elastic, tight skin, sexy yet ascetic.

Fu Xueli’s gaze moved downward, not dodging or avoiding.

Lust was a dangerous blade. He was truly tempting.

Hearing the rushing water sounds, she couldn’t sleep alone. Nestled in the covers, dizzy and light-headed, her heart pounding heavily several times.

Until she felt the room lights go out. After rustling sounds, Xu Xingchun, bare-chested, carrying moisture, sat at the head of the bed in the darkness.

Eyes pitch black, she held her breath and waited half a minute.

He made no movement, head lowered, silent, like a sculpture. Only silence remained in the room.

Fu Xueli heard herself ask very seriously, “Xu Xingchun, do you want to have a pure chat under the covers with me?”

“…”

Fu Xueli struggled a bit, thinking was he a block of wood, understanding nothing? Just as she prepared to speak, the covers were pulled back, and she was forcefully pressed down.

The phrase “reaping what you sow”—about half an hour later, Fu Xueli finally understood what it meant.

She didn’t even know how it started. She was just hazily entangled with Xu Xingchun, her bathrobe at the chest pulled open, kissing on and off, breaking out in a full body sweat.

And suffering even more was the person pressing on top of her.

At an underage age, he already knew how loss of control and crazy sexual desire could make someone. His face, accustomed to being composed and calm for years, was now slightly distorted, sweat beading on his face, flowing down along the edges.

Fu Xueli felt herself being kneaded forcefully everywhere, her lips pecked until burning hot, the sound of obviously heavy breathing in her ears. The pleasure of intertwined lips and teeth made her soft from fingertips to toes, involuntarily feeling ashamed.

Feeling Xu Xingchun pull back a bit, as his arm raised, she frantically grabbed his arm, eyes full of spring passion, still harassing him without method, “What are you doing?”

“Turning on the light…” His voice was completely hoarse, saying suppressedly. The beastly nature beneath his cool exterior, desire stirring uncontrollably.

Fu Xueli was startled, quickly sitting up, panicking as she pressed against him, whimpering softly, “Don’t turn on the light…”

“Baby… good girl.” His hand touched her face, exerting extreme patience, painful yet satisfied. Over these years, his deformed love and lust for Fu Xueli was like maggots in his bones. The impulse to fuse her into his blood and bones almost made him feel like his soul would scatter the next second.

In the confusion, her foot kicked against his neck.

Xu Xingchun gripped her ankle, turned his head, dropped a kiss on the arch of her foot, then extended his tongue and licked.

Throughout the night, Fu Xueli basically never had a moment of peace. Sleeping until midnight, she was pulled over again, clothes torn open. In the end, her wrists were gripped and pressed into the pillow, all her strength seemingly drained, energy approaching its limit.

Turning her head, out of breath, she begged him numbly several times, her voice trembling.

“Xu Xingchun… are you done yet… stop it… I’m so tired…” Just after finishing, her mouth was covered.

“Mm mm—”

Only Fu Xueli didn’t know that at this time, this kind of pleading would only make someone more crazy and unable to restrain themselves. He couldn’t hear any sound she made.

Xu Xingchun said nothing, silently enduring, emitting muffled panting. On the smooth silk bedding, controlling the waist of the person beneath, fingertips probing into lips, saliva wet and slippery. Hooking the tongue tip, circling.

Back drenched in sweat, raising both her knees, pushing into the deepest place.

Not enough.

Still not enough.

No stimulation could satisfy his greed.

The next afternoon, Fu Xueli woke up rubbing her eyes. Her first thought was damn Xu Xingchun’s whole family. Last night was insane. Xu Xingchun completely didn’t know how to rest. No matter how she begged, he wouldn’t respond to anything, just like an animal that had taken Viagra, mating with her. Looking back, it was simply a nightmare.

No one beside her, a corner of the covers pulled back, no warmth. She had completely no strength, lay in bed recovering for a long time.

After a night’s ordeal, her body ached everywhere in unspeakable ways. Just thinking of turning over, she painfully bit her lip, suppressing a moan.

How could his desire be so strong…

Laboriously extending a bare white arm, she picked up the alarm clock on the table to check the time. When putting it back, unable to control a tremor, the alarm clock fell on the carpet. Rolling all the way, stopping at someone’s feet.

Fu Xueli’s head was all muddled, staring at the culprit who made her now paralyzed in bed, unable to move.

Xu Xingchun wore a pair of black pants, no shirt, upper body bare. Coming in from the balcony.

Really couldn’t understand why in this cold winter weather he’d go out to blow in the cold wind again. Meeting his eyes, Fu Xueli looked away, somewhat evasively turning her back. Her hand was gripped again. Xu Xingchun bent down, a wave of coolness entering her breath.

“Awake?” he asked.

While waiting for her to wake, Xu Xingchun had been outside smoking a few cigarettes. The high-rises stood tall. She was sleeping just a few meters away from him, so the time didn’t pass long or difficult.

Fu Xueli shoved him away, shrunk into the covers, turned over and ignored him.

“What’s wrong?”

Gazes meeting in the air, after a moment of indoor silence, her loud accusation rang out.

“What do you think?! You were so rough last night, completely didn’t care about me…” Halfway through, whether from shame or something else, she couldn’t continue.

“Done talking?” Xu Xingchun’s breath was close at hand.

Done being embarrassed. Thinking about it made her a bit angry again. Fu Xueli feared he’d kiss her again, quickly using her arm to separate them, covering her mouth, saying in a muffled voice, “Can you stay away from me?”

One hand braced beside her ear, Xu Xingchun’s gaze slightly lowered. He set aside the lighter and cigarettes in his hand, then leaned in.

Gripping her cheek, forcing open her teeth, semi-forcefully kissing her.

Using actions to tell her.

—No.

Fu Xueli frantically tried to push Xu Xingchun away but found she couldn’t break free at all. Heart beating very fast, holding her breath for a second or two, somewhat annoyed, “You’re not good to me at all now.”

“Mm.” His movements natural, gently kissing her reddened eye corners, casually not refuting.

His hair was very soft, brushing against her cheek, ticklish. After a long while, Xu Xingchun finally got off Fu Xueli.

At three in the afternoon, Fu Chenglin finally discovered his nominal little sister had disappeared again. Making a phone call, it took ages before she picked up.

Fu Xueli lay at the head of the bed, her whole body languid and strengthless, even too lazy to speak, listening to Fu Chenglin nag.

A silver spoon lightly touched her mouth. Xu Xingchun said, “Open.”

She obediently opened her mouth slightly, chewed the food in her mouth, then swallowed with a gulp.

Fu Chenglin noticed movement, asked, “Who are you with?”

Fu Xueli’s face showed an expression of distress. Not speaking, her gaze fell on the television not far away.

The signal on the other end suddenly got worse, the voice alternating loud and soft, vaguely, “By the way, remember to come back for dinner tonight. Don’t always run wild outside forgetting your own surname.”

“I know.”

After agreeing, the other end hung up. Xu Xingchun used his index finger to wipe the vegetable juice from the corner of her mouth, undisturbed, continuing to feed her.

At her age still being fed, Fu Xueli accepted it without qualms. Xu Xingchun tirelessly obliged. Both were somewhat obsessed.

Their current mode of interaction was too strange. Specifically speaking, hard to articulate. Since waking, Fu Xueli hadn’t gotten out of bed and walked on her own once.

Going to the bathroom, brushing teeth, washing face, eating, drinking water—all done with Xu Xingchun carrying her. Her feet hadn’t touched the ground.

At first Fu Xueli was happy to order him around, but later no matter what she wanted to do, he was like this.

Too much intimacy required sacrificing a certain degree of freedom as the price. She really couldn’t quite handle it.

Felt like a pet kept and raised by him at home.

After proposing she had to go home for dinner tonight, Xu Xingchun said nothing, showed no indication. Fu Xueli stripped herself completely naked, went to the bathroom to bathe, mentally calculating when to tell Tang Xin about Xu Xingchun.

Just spacing out, she was embraced from behind.

The shower turned on.

Xu Xingchun’s wet hair was pushed back, his facial features extremely refined and handsome, cold white skin, collarbones sharply defined.

“Why did you come in again?” She turned around innocently. After asking, she was forced to swallow his saliva again.

Sweeping her hair aside, water droplets fell along the waistline that curved inward on her spine, all the way to her tailbone. Xu Xingchun entered her body inch by inch, leaning in to lick her earlobe and neck.

“Again, haven’t you kissed enough…” Fu Xueli couldn’t sustain this position, asking intermittently.

“No.”

In the enclosed space, heartbeats shook eardrums, filled with water sounds.

The paradise inside her body was too wonderful.

Once entering, couldn’t leave.

Hadn’t tasted enough of lust’s flavor.

Even killing him would be enough.

Soon, moaning without tune rang out again in the bathroom.

Fu Xueli was pounded into a daze, eyes hazy, almost forgetting what she wanted to say just now, panting, “You weren’t like this before.”

“What was I like?”

“Anyway not like this.”

Wanting to make love anytime anywhere.

Wanting to have her anytime anywhere.

Naked desire, nothing else.

“This is what I’m like.” Xu Xingchun gripped her thigh with one hand, knee pressing into the inside of her leg, lips holding her nipple, “Fu Xueli, see me clearly.”

Long ago, he loved her, so he painstakingly deceived her, forced himself to be a normal person.

Just that deceiving for too long was also a burden for him. She didn’t like restraint, so he tried his best, within the range he could endure,

to let her be free.

For many years, Xu Xingchun was just performing as the person in Fu Xueli’s heart.

He knew he wasn’t like that.

Sometimes he would think.

On a rainy day.

Break her legs.

Crush the bones.

Lock her in a dark, cramped cage.

Then satisfy her desires inch by inch.

Until one day.

She couldn’t leave him.