“Go bid farewell to the Crown Prince. A marriage requires mutual affection. I will ask the Crown Prince his thoughts, and the imperial marriage can only be arranged after you come of age,” Emperor Youning said with a kindly smile.
“Zhao Ning takes her leave,” Shen Xihe didn’t show excessive eagerness.
His Majesty had said it himself – marriage requires mutual affection. He wouldn’t marry her off to another without her consent. If he did, she would make such a scene that His Majesty would surely regret it.
Her palace visit today was indeed to bid farewell to the Crown Prince and also to leave Sui Axi at the Eastern Palace. When she wasn’t in the capital, it wouldn’t be convenient for Sui Axi to enter and leave the palace.
Shen Xihe still paid her respects to the Empress Dowager before going to the Eastern Palace. As soon as she saw Xiao Huayong, she could sense joy emanating from every strand of his hair. Though he always smiled brightly upon seeing her, seemingly no different from usual, somehow today he seemed especially delighted.
“Has something joyous happened to Your Highness?” He was so happy that she couldn’t help but ask.
Xiao Huayong told himself to restrain, to restrain, but he couldn’t help it – she had told His Majesty she yearned for him!
Yearned for him!
Yearned!
Him!
These few phrases kept circling in his mind. His people were in His Majesty’s Mingzheng Hall, and since Shen Xihe’s audience hadn’t dismissed the attendants, this news would quickly spread both inside and outside the palace – he just happened to know earlier.
“Ahem.” Xiao Huayong coughed modestly. “I know what the Princess said to His Majesty.”
Shen Xihe hadn’t expected this to be the reason. She looked at Xiao Huayong, who was too embarrassed to meet her gaze: …
Hadn’t they agreed to this long ago? She would request an imperial marriage from His Majesty – had he mistaken her earlier words as sincere?
His thick black hair fell forward, hiding his face, but she could see his ears were bright red.
Shen Xihe: …
“Your Highness…”
“Princess, these are refreshments that His Highness ordered from the Imperial Kitchen as soon as he heard you had entered the palace,” Tianyuan boldly presented a plate of exquisite pastries before Shen Xihe could finish speaking.
Shen Xihe glanced at Tianyuan, who maintained his respectful and eager smile.
He knew what the Princess wanted to say, but their Prince wasn’t unaware – he just didn’t want to know, didn’t wish to acknowledge it. He just wanted to be happy, even if it meant deceiving himself. Being joyful was enough.
If the Princess made things clear, the Prince wouldn’t even have this self-deceptive happiness. Those cold words would pierce the Prince’s heart like knives, and he couldn’t bear to watch the Prince lick his wounds.
Shen Xihe didn’t insist on dousing Xiao Huayong’s enthusiasm, instead sampling the refreshments.
“Does Yooyoo have something to discuss?” Xiao Huayong contained his elation, though still pleased.
“Did Your Highness’s people only relay half the message?” If he knew about her requesting an imperial marriage, why didn’t he know about her trip to Linchuan?
It wasn’t that the Eastern Palace’s people only relayed half the message, but rather that they knew Xiao Huayong’s feelings for Shen Xihe, so they naturally reversed the order, first mentioning Shen Xihe’s marriage request, then her planned trip to Linchuan.
However, upon hearing about Shen Xihe’s marriage request, Xiao Huayong was so overwhelmed with joy that he didn’t notice the latter part.
Xiao Huayong cast a questioning look at Tianyuan.
“Your Highness, the Princess has come to bid farewell. She’s going to Linchuan for the wedding of the Prefecture Chief’s eldest son,” Tianyuan reminded softly.
“You’re going to Linchuan?” Xiao Huayong’s expression changed slightly as he anxiously examined Shen Xihe. “You’ve only just recovered. Such a long journey, and with winter approaching…”
“Your Highness need not worry. Zhao Ning knows her limits,” Shen Xihe smiled slightly. “Everything will be properly arranged for this journey.”
“Must you go?” Xiao Huayong remained concerned.
“Perhaps… this will be Zhao Ning’s last time leaving the capital,” Shen Xihe said softly.
Upon her return, she would come of age. Whether His Majesty arranged the marriage next year or the year after, she would have no reason to leave the capital again.
Her words made Xiao Huayong’s eyes flash. He asked gently: “Yooyoo, what kind of life do you ultimately want to live?”
Caught off guard by Xiao Huayong’s question, Shen Xihe didn’t immediately respond: “Ultimate life?”
“Yes, your future life,” Xiao Huayong’s clear eyes gazed at her earnestly. “Without considering duty or status, just following your heart.”
Just following her heart?
She had never been willful, never known what it meant to act recklessly, never been selfish, never known what it meant to have selfish desires.
“Zhao Ning has never questioned her heart,” Shen Xihe shook her head slightly.
“Question it now, think about it now,” Xiao Huayong pressed.
His persistence made Shen Xihe raise her head and look at him quietly. His eyes held urgency, eager to know.
Shen Xihe didn’t give a perfunctory answer: “Your Highness, when I came to the capital, I passed many common households. Watching them work from sunrise to sunset, I felt quite envious. But it was only momentary. If poverty were unavoidable, I would accept an ordinary life, finding peace in simplicity.
But I was born to silk and jade, attended by servants, accompanied by carriages and horses. I’ve never worried about food, clothing, shelter, or transport. Spending thousands of gold has always been at my whim. I think I admire that kind of life free from worldly disputes, peaceful and tranquil, but I couldn’t live that way.”
She was just a common person after all. What she was tired of was always the precariousness and struggle behind privilege, not privilege itself.
Who would choose plain tea and simple fare when they could live well?
At least she, Shen Xihe, didn’t possess such a noble character.
However, in this world, one cannot have both fish and bear paws. If she truly had to choose one, she still preferred her current life. Even with an uncertain path ahead, even with victory or defeat hard to predict, even with life hanging by a thread in case of failure.
“Yooyoo always lives with such clarity,” Sometimes Xiao Huayong admired and envied this aspect of Shen Xihe.
He had traversed mountains and seas, and seen all manner of human conditions. Too many people were never satisfied, always wanting more.
They focused only on others’ advantages, dwelling on their disadvantages when looking back at themselves.
Wanting to live like others, yet never seeing others’ helplessness and hardships.
“Being too clear-minded isn’t good either. In life, it’s valuable to sometimes be muddled,” Shen Xihe sighed lightly. She probably never had such moments.
Xiao Huayong smiled gently: “Only the clear-minded can choose to be muddled; otherwise, one is simply always confused. Whether Yooyoo wishes to be muddled depends entirely on what’s in Yooyoo’s heart.”
Shen Xihe carefully savored Xiao Huayong’s words, sharing a knowing smile. This was why she enjoyed conversing with Xiao Huayong.
In this world, those who could converse with her on the same level, who could keep up with her thoughts, could be counted on one hand. Even Shen Yun’an might not manage it.
After staying at the Eastern Palace for two hours, Shen Xihe finally left.
Once Shen Xihe’s figure disappeared from view, the smile fell from Xiao Huayong’s lips: “We remember the Linchuan Prefecture Chief has completed his three-year term?”
“Yes,” Tianyuan replied.
“Find a way to recall him,” Xiao Huayong ordered.
Such risky ventures outside the capital – once was enough. He wouldn’t allow a second time.