Shen Xihe nodded, watching him calmly.

For the first time, Xiao Huayong couldn’t fathom someone’s thoughts. He could only continue: “After returning to the capital, I found it dull – everyone was under my control except you. I just wanted to watch you, understand you more, observe your solitude, your cleverness, your wisdom. Before I knew it, I was in too deep, and when I realized it, I found I was willing to risk my life for you…”

When did Xiao Huayong determine that Shen Xihe had become indispensable to him?

It was when picking snow lotuses at the mountain peak. Originally, he thought she was just somewhat different, that he just liked her a little. But when he had less than fifty percent confidence in making it back alive and still wouldn’t give up on the Tianshan snow lotus, he knew this woman had already silently become part of his flesh and blood.

If before picking the snow lotus he had been somewhat casual; after the snow lotus, he was all in.

Shen Xihe wasn’t a fool. The Tianshan snow lotus was delivered by Hua Fuhai’s people. The snow lotus… thinking of his departure from the capital during that time, officially it was about the autumn grain being robbed, but with his connections, he didn’t need to go personally for such matters.

“The Tianshan snow lotus – you learned I needed it from Doctor Qi, then feigned illness as if you needed it.” Previously, Shen Xihe hadn’t understood medicine, and though she had questioned Sui Axi and Zhenzhu about Xiao Huayong’s condition, she had never asked if he needed Tianshan snow lotus.

It was only yesterday that she specifically asked – his illness didn’t require Tianshan snow lotus at all. He had mobilized his palace forces to search for it for her sake.

“Even ordinary snow lotuses grow high in the mountains. This kind must surely only exist at the very peak of snow mountains.” Shen Xihe wasn’t an ignorant lady confined to the inner chambers. Though she had never been to a snow-capped peak, she had read travel accounts describing how ordinary people could barely climb such heights, struggling to breathe there.

Thinking of their first meeting, he had also been gathering the Immortal’s Sash in the high mountains. It seemed he dared to venture to such treacherous places himself.

She raised her head, her cold clear eyes meeting his: “Your eyes lost their ability to distinguish colors because of this.”

At this point, Xiao Huayong could only confess truthfully: “Youyou, ever since returning from gathering the snow lotus, I wanted to be honest with you. But I knew your concerns, so I never dared to explain. Last time when you discovered the chess piece, I hesitated, but cowardice made me conceal the truth.

The other day when I learned of your keen sense of smell, that you could distinguish even the same ingredients with different proportions, I knew that once you saw those bracelets, everything would be exposed. I wanted to be honest with you then, but remembering your gentleness toward me that day, I was afraid…”

He was the Crown Prince, a Crown Prince who bided his time and didn’t even fear the Emperor, yet he was so afraid of her that he couldn’t speak the truth. He feared that once she knew, she would never look at him again.

“You know all that followed,” Xiao Huayong closed his eyes, like a death row inmate awaiting his sentence.

Shen Xihe looked at him, a cold wind swirling between them, lifting their black hair to tangle in the air.

“Your Highness, Zhaoning thank you for your repeated assistance. Your Highness’s kindness, Zhaoning will exhaust all efforts to repay,” After a long while, Shen Xihe’s cold voice finally sounded. “Your Highness’s true feelings, Zhaoning can only fail to reciprocate. For the sake of the future, please cooperate with Zhaoning in breaking off the engagement.”

“What did you say?” Though Xiao Huayong had anticipated her reaction, hearing it still felt like thousands of arrows piercing his heart.

“Your Highness, if we become husband and wife, we will surely be of different minds despite sharing a bed. Zhaoning will be on guard against you at all times,” Shen Xihe said with a calmness bordering on indifference. “Zhaoning doesn’t want to be so exhausted.”

“On guard against me at all times?” Xiao Huayong let out a bitter laugh. “You still don’t trust me after all.”

“No, at this moment Zhaoning trusts you,” Shen Xihe said. “Zhaoning is not heartless. Your Highness’s true feelings, Zhaoning believes them.”

“If you trust me, why treat me this way?” Xiao Huayong demanded, the corners of his eyes reddening.

“Your Highness, is ‘Phoenix Seeking Its Mate’ moving?” Shen Xihe suddenly asked.

Xiao Huayong startled slightly. Clever as he was, he immediately understood, his face paling again.

Shen Xihe folded her hands across her chest, gazing forward: “People only speak of how ‘Phoenix Seeking Its Mate’ has been passed down through the ages, and many young men even play it to win ladies’ hearts. Yet they forget that the beautiful ‘Phoenix Seeking Its Mate’ ended with ‘Song of White Hair.'”

Could the person who composed such a sincere and passionate piece as ‘Phoenix Seeking Its Mate’ not have been sincere? But if that sincerity never changed, how did it lead to ‘Song of White Hair’?

“I won’t…” Xiao Huayong tried to defend himself.

Shen Xihe shook her head gently: “Your Highness, it’s not that I don’t believe Your Highness’s heart won’t change, but that I cannot afford to believe. If I were just myself, with no family or relatives, with no Shen family behind me, I would surely plunge into this river of love with Your Highness. In life, one should seize joy when possible, not questioning cause and effect. I too wish to be carefree, but I don’t have that privilege.

I was raised with the love of my father and brothers, they support me wholeheartedly. Do you think they trust Your Highness to never change your heart no matter what happens in life?

No, Your Highness, it’s because I was willing to marry first that they trusted me out of love. But if one day Your Highness changes, I am willing to pay the price for my poor judgment, even if I die without an intact body, it would be my fault. But what about them?”

Xiao Huayong’s eyes stung with pain as he stared at the slender figure before him that he had longed for day and night. For all his extensive knowledge and eloquence, he could not find a single word to refute her.

“Your Highness, I was born in the Northwest. The common people there love and admire me because I am my father’s daughter. Knowing I am frail and cannot bear shock, during New Year’s my neighbors are willing to forgo firecrackers. Even when old men quarrel with their wives, they end disputes saying ‘Your voice is so loud, what if it disturbs the Princess?’

Can you understand how well they treat me? If one day because of my misplaced affections, they fall into dire straits and live lives of suffering, I could not rest in peace even after death.”

Shen Xihe had never laid bare her thoughts so completely to anyone – Xiao Huayong was the only one, just for his sincere heart.

“So, you’re not afraid to be my enemy?” Xiao Huayong asked with all his might, forcing himself to remain calm.

“Why I wish to break the engagement with Your Highness: first, I don’t want to deceive you; second, I appreciate Your Highness’s current sincerity; third, I know I am no match for Your Highness,” Shen Xihe said with a light, peaceful smile. “If I were your enemy and one day I lost, it would be after I had tried my best. I would not have failed their love and expectations of me, I would not have failed myself, I could face death peacefully.”

But if we become husband and wife, the meaning would be entirely different. Being on guard against you every day would waste all my time, and would also affect my father and brothers’ judgment. One day, because I am your wife, when you harm the Northwest, my father and brothers’ lifetime of wisdom will be destroyed in an instant.