“What do you mean by a superficial grandmother-granddaughter relationship?”
Tina blurted out, immediately regretting it and wanting to bite her tongue off.
Grandmother Yu showed approval:
“That’s a good question, at least it shows your attitude toward resolving this matter. If you have to do something whether you’re happy about it or not, why not be happy about it, don’t you agree? A superficial grandmother-granddaughter relationship means I fulfill my duties as a grandmother, and you cooperate in completing your responsibilities as a granddaughter. You can curse and resent me in your heart, but in front of others, you must maintain respect for your elders… Honestly, this is for your good. If an elder hasn’t been unkind, yet a young person shouts disrespectfully at them, in any country, you’ll be excluded from normal social circles. Others will think you’re a terrible person, and think about it – only equally terrible people would want to associate with you.”
Tina was shocked by Grandmother Yu’s scenario.
She couldn’t help imagining what if the Xu family confronted her on Columbia’s campus, and she responded with hostility – how would her friends view her when the Xu family revealed their relationship?
She could explain to her friends.
But how would she explain?
Her friends would probably find her strange too.
Long-lost relatives found her, yet she treated them terribly.
Tina fell silent.
Her attitude toward the Xu family was indeed indefensible.
In America, even adopted children usually don’t reject their birth parents when they come forward. Legally, birth parents gain no advantages; reconnecting is purely emotional.
Birth parents aren’t shut out – they might connect several times a year, maintaining a distant relative-like relationship.
Giving up a child for adoption means giving them a chance at life.
She could view the Xu family in this light.
Related by blood but emotionally distant, maintaining polite cordiality – wouldn’t that make things less difficult?
Tina unconsciously nodded: “If it’s just that, I can do it.”
Does this work too?
Seeing his grandmother’s composed expression, Xu Changle knew his sister Tina had fallen into a trap.
But for family harmony, how could he warn Tina about their grandmother’s scheme?
“I was going to have you sign an agreement but thought better of it. Although Cui… you’re different from her. You have Xu’s family blood, so I’ll trust you this once. But you only get one chance. If you break our verbal agreement, I’ll be very disappointed in you. Trust me, you don’t want to see what I’m like when I’m disappointed in someone.”
Grandmother Yu’s words showed clear contempt for Cui Yiru.
Tina felt hurt for her mother but dared not object.
Others felt Cui Yiru had paid for her mistakes with her life, so they shouldn’t be brought up. No one spoke ill of Cui Yiru in front of Tina, yet Grandmother Yu’s contempt was righteous. Tina felt if she defended her mother at all, this old lady would drag her mother’s name through the mud.
“So what exactly do I need to do?”
“Keep our verbal agreement confidential. When others are present, maintain respect toward me. I may teach you some things, but I won’t force you to learn them.”
After such initial harshness, these requirements seemed almost simple to Tina.
She nodded, “I can do that!”
Grandmother Yu gave a slight “mm,” “Xiaolan, pour me some tea, I’m going to give her her first lesson today!”
Pfft-
This old lady had so many tricks.
Xia Xiaolan held back her laughter.
No, she couldn’t undermine Grandmother Yu in such a serious moment.
Tina knew nothing of these customs and looked bewildered.
Xu Zhongyi spoke softly: “At home, younger generations pay respects to elders before traveling far and report to them upon return.”
Returning youngsters should “request peace” from their elders.
After the founding of modern China, many old customs became outdated and were simplified. This wasn’t feudal society anymore – no one performed elaborate “peace-requesting” ceremonies.
But simplification didn’t mean elimination.
After long absences, bringing small gifts to visit elders to show a safe return remained a conscious tradition for many modern people. Young people working away who return home once or twice a year naturally want to bring something when visiting their grandparents.
Tina didn’t want to acknowledge the Xu family, so she didn’t bring anything for Grandmother Yu.
So Grandmother Yu having her offer tea maintained this custom.
Tina was, in another sense, the Xu family’s “returning” daughter.
Xia Xiaolan handed the teacup to Tina:
“Here, use both hands to give it to your grandmother, offer her tea, it’s very simple.”
Tina hesitated holding the cup.
She had been completely led along, following Xia Xiaolan’s instructions in a daze.
Offering the teacup, her mouth opened but couldn’t say “Grandmother,” mumbling only “Drink your tea.”
Grandmother Yu kept a stern face while Xu Changle looked pleading.
Grandmother Yu muttered: “Well, there’s still plenty of time, we’ll teach her gradually.”
The old lady took the teacup, barely wetted her lips, set it down, and pulled out a red envelope from her pocket to give Tina: “You’ve done your duty, I must do mine. I don’t know what you like, so here’s some pocket money to buy whatever you want.”
Huh?!
Giving her money?
Had this old lady gone mad? She wasn’t short of money at all – she had over twenty million dollars in cash inheritance, plus various properties.
Looking at this old lady who wore not a single piece of jewelry, she surely wasn’t as wealthy as Tina.
Yet her expression while giving the red envelope showed complete indifference to money, not even asking if Tina liked it.
Before Tina could react, Grandmother Yu checked the wall clock and stood from the sofa:
“Well, it’s getting late. This old lady can’t compare with your young people’s stamina. It’s my bedtime now, and you needn’t stay here feeling uncomfortable – you may go. I think tonight was a good start, hopefully, this verbal agreement will continue to be honored.”
So, she was being sent away?
With such an impatient expression, just as the old lady said – merely going through the motions, fulfilling a “grandmother’s” obligations.
Tina stormed out, still holding the red envelope.
Now all three – Tina and the Xu father and son – had been dismissed from the room.
The door slammed shut.
Xu Changle smiled awkwardly: “…Grandmother has a cold exterior but a warm heart.”
Tina looked at him, full of doubt.
She wasn’t so easily fooled anymore, and would never believe her brother’s words again.
What cold exterior, warm heart – this was a Chinese lady, stern on the outside and hard as stone inside.
Tina clutched the red envelope and hurried toward the elevator – how embarrassing that she’d thought the other would weep about missing her “granddaughter,” would apologize, show various vulnerabilities to build emotional bonds, tell her the Xu family all loved her and looked forward to her return.
But none of that happened at all!