By the seventh month of surveillance, funding became a significant issue. The Xuecheng Public Security Bureau allocated only 100,000 yuan annually to the Criminal Investigation Team, which had more cases to solve than just this one. During the investigation of the 1103 major case, other cases like kidnappings, fraud, and rape also emerged, requiring the core team to be reassigned to handle these urgent matters. With no money and no personnel, the bureau leader overseeing the operation was transferred to a new position. It was inevitable; the 1103 case had to be temporarily shelved. Surveillance on Deng Ligang’s and Song Hongyu’s families was also withdrawn.
Then, another blow hit me—I was transferred from the Criminal Investigation Team to the Third Team to handle external coordination. This meant I was responsible for assisting police departments from all over the country when they came to Xuecheng to investigate people or cases. In short, I had to say goodbye to the 1103 case. Cheng Guo said this job was good because I no longer had to be away from home for ten days or half a month.
In the past, I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Now, I would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep. Later, just lying in bed made my eyelids feel heavy as if filled with lead, but sleep eluded me. Several times, Cheng Guo woke up to find the bed empty and immediately went out to look for me. I hadn’t gone anywhere; I was sitting on the living room sofa with a bowl of ice, watching TV without caring what was on, chewing ice cube after ice cube.
I told her to go back to sleep, saying I would sleep soon. Cheng Guo returned to the bedroom, knowing she wouldn’t be able to sleep either, so she put on her sportswear and went out.
The sky was faintly brightening, and the air was cold and refreshing, clearing my mind instantly as I inhaled deeply. I jogged along the riverbank; I wasn’t the only one in Xuecheng who couldn’t sleep. Many people were exercising by the river, both men and women. The accumulated stress in my body was released, and I felt much better. I jogged to the morning market.
The shops in the morning market were already open, and the shopkeepers were busy attending to customers. People in Xuecheng were used to getting up early, and the first meal of the day here couldn’t be called breakfast; it was a substantial meal. My parents’ generation would get up at five to make dumplings, stir-fry, and cook rice as a routine. The shopkeepers knew me well and greeted me as “Second Brother Xinqiao.”
I asked a vegetable vendor, “How’s business this year?”
He said, “The vegetables pass through several hands before reaching me. The farmers are making money this year. My wife’s family planted an acre and a half of cucumbers, harvesting nearly 20,000 jin. If sold at the market price here, how much would that earn? But middlemen take a cut; they drive to the fields to buy, and we don’t have those conditions.”
I chatted with vendors at each stall, temporarily putting the 1103 case out of my mind. A couple ran the breakfast stall; the husband fried dough sticks, and the wife served soy milk and tofu pudding. Her face was red from the cold, and her ten frostbitten fingers poked out of her gloves like transparent carrots.
“Second Brother, do you want chili?” she asked with a smile.
“One with, one without,” I replied.
I returned home with a plastic bag, and Cheng Guo was already up, cooking congee with preserved egg and lean pork in the kitchen.
I placed the breakfast on the stove and said, “The first batch of fried dough sticks.”
The family sat at the table for breakfast. I asked my son, “Freshly squeezed soy milk, tofu pudding, and congee—which one do you want?”
Peng Cheng looked at me and then at his mother. This used to be her domain. Seeing me waiting for his answer, he reluctantly said, “I want tofu pudding, no chili.”
I placed the tofu pudding in front of him and watched him eat.
“You should go back to bed,” Cheng Guo said.
I replied, “I’ll take Peng Cheng to school and then nap for a bit.”
Peng Cheng’s eyes lit up when he heard I would take him to school, and he quickly finished his breakfast.
The streets were bustling with people on bicycles, heading to work or school. I rode my bike with my son on the back rack, quickly blending into the traffic. Peng Cheng was excited, patting my back and urging me to speed up. I pedaled harder, increasing our speed and soon breaking free from the traffic.
Ahead was a bridge with a gentle slope. Peng Cheng shouted from behind, “Mom always gets off here and walks with me across. Dad, can you ride us over?”
I shouted back, “This isn’t Mount Everest; why not?”
I stood up on the pedals, pushing hard, and the bike surged up the bridge. Electric bikes and motorcycles whizzed past us.
“Dad! Go for it!” Peng Cheng cheered from behind.
I pushed harder, and the bike sped down the bridge, overtaking the slowing electric bikes and motorcycles. Sweat soaked through my clothes, and the cold wind chilled me to the bone. Peng Cheng hugged my waist, shouting with joy. The boy had a blast. At the school gate, he walked arm in arm with his classmates, occasionally looking back at me with satisfaction in his eyes.
The day’s exercise was too much, leaving my muscles sore. That night, I lay on the bed while Cheng Guo massaged me, and I yelped with each press.
“Pain means blockage; unblock it, and you’ll sleep,” Cheng Guo said.
Under her hands, my body gradually relaxed, and I soon fell asleep. I dreamed of Deng Ligang. We met on the stairs; he was going down, and I was going up. I reached out to grab him, but the stairs suddenly stood upright. I lost my balance and fell.
I woke up in a cold sweat, unable to sleep again, so I quietly changed into my sportswear and went for a run. I ran along the streets, along the riverbank, until my clothes were soaked with sweat. Cheng Guo, seeing my dark circles, felt sorry for me. She arranged for someone to watch the shop and took me and our son to the ice rink. Cheng Guo sat outside, watching us speed skate. My son and I bent low, knees bent, racing across the ice.
On high-speed turns, I leaned my body, using my left hand on the ice for support. At first, my son was in front, and I was behind. Later, I overtook him on the outer curve, taking the lead. Peng Cheng chased me with all his might. By shifting my weight and changing my steps, I sped up again, lapping him twice. After leaving the rink, my son wanted a cold drink, so we went to a shop on Qingtan Street. I drank mineral water with ice, Peng Cheng had a cream cake, and Cheng Guo drank milk tea.
Peng Cheng pestered me for tips, asking, “Dad, how do you skate so fast?”
I said, “On turns, increase the frequency of your crossover steps and shift your weight inward to maintain and even increase speed.”
Peng Cheng nodded repeatedly. They say you gain something when you lose something. I lost the 1103 case but gained my son’s admiration.
In 2004, I passed through Jibei City on a business trip. Seeing the station sign through the train window reminded me of the victim Liu Xinyuan’s parents. A year ago, Liu Liang had called to ask about the case. After I left the Criminal Investigation Team, I heard nothing more. The unsolved 1103 case was like a stone stuck in my throat, neither swallowable nor spit-out-able. On the return trip, I got off the train and found Liu Liang’s home.
Liu Liang lived in the suburbs of Jibei City, in a small courtyard. Through the courtyard wall, I saw a young toon tree. Hearing the knock, Liu Liang opened the gate. He had changed so much that I almost didn’t recognize him at first glance. Liu Liang, not yet fifty, had white hair and had lost at least thirty pounds, looking almost skeletal. He squinted at me, and when he recognized me, his eyes lit up. Liu Liang grabbed my hand and pulled me into the courtyard.
He said, “You’re finally here. Don’t say anything to me; talk to my daughters.”
His words made my heart sink. Liu Liang led me to the toon tree and pointed to a small grave mound beneath it, saying, “Both daughters are buried here. Speak; they can hear you.”
I said, “I was passing by for a meeting and came to see you.”
The light in Liu Liang’s eyes dimmed, and he said, trembling, “Two years have passed, and my daughters are waiting under the tree. You can’t even give them a glimmer of hope?”
My eyes lingered on the small grave mound for a moment before I said, “I’ll go see your wife.”
Liu Liang led me inside. The room was a mess, and his wife sat on the bed with disheveled hair, turning her face to the wall when she saw me.
Liu Liang said, “Xinyuan’s mother knows her daughter’s body was chopped up. She went mad, often running to the moat. I can’t work because I have to watch her. Last year, I was seriously ill and bedridden for four months. If it weren’t for worrying about my wife and avenging my daughter, I would have closed my eyes and gone.”
I felt immense guilt, sitting silently in front of him. Liu Liang knew his daughter’s case had been put on hold for other cases, and he was so angry that he almost fainted. His bony hands trembled slightly on his knees. I knew that whatever I said now would be pointless, so I stood up and took out the cooked food and snacks I had brought.
“Do you have plates?” I asked.
Liu Liang pointed to the kitchen. I took the food to the kitchen, where the stove was cold, and the sink was piled with unwashed dishes. I rolled up my sleeves and washed the dishes. Liu Liang sat in a chair, head drooping, listening to the sounds behind him.
I found some noodles in the cupboard and a few potatoes and a cabbage in the corner. I chopped the vegetables and prepared the pot, cleaning the kitchen while waiting for the water to boil.
A bottle of white wine, a plate of pig’s head meat, a plate of sausage, a plate of braised beef, a plate of peanuts, a plate of stir-fried shredded potatoes, and a plate of vinegar cabbage—four cold dishes and two hot ones were served. Plus, a bowl of hot noodle soup with scallions.
The three of us sat at the table to eat. Liu Liang’s wife devoured her food, and Liu Liang’s eyes reddened as he watched her.
He said, “Since she got sick, she hasn’t been in the kitchen. We gave all our savings and borrowed money to the kidnappers, but our daughter wasn’t saved, and we’re deep in debt. For the past two years, we’ve been living on buns and pancakes with pickles.”
I said nothing, pouring Liu Liang a full glass of wine and filling my own. We clinked glasses and drank in silence. Liu Liang picked up the bottle to pour me more wine, but I covered my glass and said, “I can’t handle more; I’ll get drunk.”
Liu Liang didn’t insist, on drinking alone. His wife, full, pushed her bowl away and returned to bed, facing the wall.
After three glasses of wine, Liu Liang said, “You’ve seen our health. Tell me honestly, will I live to see the criminals caught?”
I said, “I’ve been transferred to another department. No matter how much I want to help, I can’t. But I have an idea.”
Liu Liang paused, holding his glass mid-air, eyes fixed on me. “Tell me, as long as I can do it.”
I said, “File a complaint, accusing the Xuecheng Public Security Bureau of inaction.”
Liu Liang was stunned, placing his glass on the table.
I said, “Remember, when you accuse the Xuecheng Public Security Bureau, include me.”
Liu Liang said, “You’ve done so much for me; I can’t ignore my conscience.”
“These criminals are still at large, committing crimes. If I don’t pursue them to the end and bring them to justice, I’ve failed as a police officer. I’ve done a lot for this case. The targets are clear, and the evidence is solid. Giving up now is unacceptable,” I said.
“What happens after I accuse you?” Liu Liang asked cautiously.
I said, “The case will be reopened, and the task might be reassigned to me.”
Liu Liang filled my glass with wine and said, “One last glass. Drink it, and I’ll do as you say.”
We clinked glasses, and I drank the wine, then left.
The next day, Liu Liang arranged for his wife’s care and began the arduous process of filing complaints, during which he didn’t contact me.
The external coordination work was leisurely, so I picked up karate again, asking the coach for strict training.
The coach required me to complete a 3,200-meter run in twenty minutes, fifty push-ups, fifty leg raises, and fifty squat jumps. I gritted my teeth and finished. The coach had me practice left and right straight punches, left straight-right hook, right straight-left hook, left straight-right spinning strike, right straight-left spinning strike, front kick followed by knee strike and hook punch. After a set of training, I wanted to give up several times, but knowing it wasn’t in my nature, I persevered. The coach sparred with me, and before I knew it, he had thrown me to the ground.
I got up, realizing I was drenched in sweat.
The coach said, “You didn’t block any of my attacks. You shouldn’t just block and raise your knees; you should move with your footwork.”
I nodded, panting.
“Want to go again?” the coach asked.
“Yes!” I replied firmly.
The coach laughed, “You’re not afraid of losing, are you?”
I said, “Losing is something I must get used to.”
Indeed, if one isn’t afraid of losing, what else is there to fear? The coach threw me around, and the frustration fueled my determination. The more intense I became, the harder the coach threw me.
My entire body ached, and I felt like an empty sack, collapsed on the sofa. Cheng Guo finished cooking and dragged me to the dining table. The spring pancakes with bean sprouts scrambled eggs with chives, and fish-flavored shredded pork stimulated my appetite with their color, aroma, and taste. Cheng Guo rolled a pancake for our son and then handed one to me.
“Has the new director taken office?” she asked.
I grunted in response, focusing on my food.
“Any news?” she pressed.
I replied, “New officials always make a splash. Let’s see what he tackles first.”
The new director, surnamed Jiang, was short and stocky. On his first day, he called me into his office, got straight to the point, and said, “The family of the 1103 case victim, Liu Liang, has filed a lawsuit against the Xuecheng Public Security Bureau.”
“I’m no longer with the Criminal Investigation Team,” I feigned ignorance.
“You’re the second defendant!” the director reminded me.
“Then I should explain the whole story to you,” I said.
“I’ve already reviewed the entire investigation process. The provincial department has issued a directive: this is a serious case with significant responsibility, and we are tasked with reopening it.”
“The criminals are vicious and cunning, their methods brutal and heinous. If we can’t solve this case, we can’t face the victim’s family or the public.”
“What’s your plan?” Director Jiang asked sincerely.
“I was in charge of this case initially. The victim’s family is right to accuse me of inaction. At this point, I won’t make excuses. Transfer me back to the Criminal Investigation Team and let me take over this case again. I’ll sink my teeth into these criminals and not let go.”
“How confident are you?” the director asked.
I said, “There’s no percentage, just one thing: without belief, there’s no chance of success.”
I was transferred back to the Criminal Investigation Team. The guys there were thrilled. Yang Bo clapped me on the shoulder and said, “You owe us a meal for coming back, and another for being promoted to team leader. How about having your wife cook us a feast?”
Cheng Guo was well-acquainted with these brothers, and hosting a meal for them was no problem. The issue was that her fabric shop was swamped with orders at the end of the year, and she couldn’t spare the time.
“How about this: the usual, I’ll treat you to hot pot and beer,” I suggested. These rascals immediately headed to the old hot pot place on Qingtan Street, determined to eat and drink me into poverty. That day, I saw Zhen Zhen through the window of the hot pot restaurant. The fifteen-year-old girl was wandering around Qingtan Street. Smelling the aroma from the hot pot restaurant, she peeked inside and met my gaze. She quickly looked away and left. Three days later, her parents reported her missing to the police.
Zhen Zhen’s father, Zhen Yuliang, worked for a construction company, inspecting project quality and often working on sites in other cities. Her mother, Hong Xia, worked for a property management company. Zhen Zhen was their only child. Like many mothers with little education, Hong Xia used other people’s children as a weapon against her own, trying to push Zhen Zhen to excel. The tension between a menopausal mother and a rebellious teenage daughter was like a taut bowstring, ready to snap at any moment. Hong Xia couldn’t control her emotions, and Zhen Zhen, feeling hopeless, rebelled. Whenever Hong Xia tried to boast about something, Zhen Zhen would boldly ruin it. She wasn’t afraid of hurting herself, as long as it thwarted her mother.
Zhen Zhen had short hair and was petite, with thin arms and legs. The fine blue veins on her forehead were visible beneath her pale skin. Her thick black eyebrows and large, slightly upturned eyes gave her a fierce look.
Before she disappeared, Zhen Zhen’s grades plummeted. Her homeroom teacher reported that she didn’t pay attention in class and didn’t complete her homework. Her midterm exam results dropped from third in the class to third from the bottom. Hong Xia was furious, scolding both her husband and daughter. Zhen Yuliang knew that a menopausal woman and a rebellious child were like TNT, with a wide blast radius if they exploded. He avoided the situation by staying at the construction site as much as possible. Hong Xia’s anger had nowhere to go, causing her gums to swell. Zhen Zhen avoided her mother like the plague, not wanting to go home and even starting to skip school.
On Qingtan Street, she met a boy named Du Zhong. Du Zhong was two years older than Zhen Zhen, with light eyebrows and eyes, tall, and a few pimples on his forehead. He was sitting on a wooden stump at the entrance of a shop, drinking a Coke when Zhen Zhen, with her backpack, wobbled past him.
“Hey, why aren’t you in school?” Du Zhong called out to her.
Zhen Zhen looked around, seeing no one else, and stopped, giving him a sideways glance.
“Are you talking to me?”
“Yes.”
“Why aren’t you in school?” Zhen Zhen retorted.
“I’ve left the sea of suffering and become enlightened.”
“Graduated?”
“I dropped out two years ago.”
Zhen Zhen was intrigued and squatted down beside him.
“Why did you drop out?”
“I get a headache as soon as I enter a classroom, and if it gets bad, I vomit.”
“What kind of illness is that?”
“I have a malformed blood vessel in my brain that spasms when I’m stressed.”
He pointed to the shop behind him, “This is my dad’s shop. I’m learning woodworking from him, not making furniture, but crafting intricate wooden art pieces. Have you read the ancient text ‘The Carved Boat’? That’s the kind of delicate work I do, though not as refined.”
“Doesn’t woodworking give you a headache?” Zhen Zhen asked.
“That’s artistic creation. Once I’m immersed, I forget about my head, and there’s no pain. Hey, you haven’t answered me, why are you skipping school?”
“I’m skipping school to cure my mom’s illness,” Zhen Zhen said.
“What illness does your mom have?”
“When I’m a top student, she doesn’t praise me. When I’m a poor student, she scolds me to death. She’s the one who’s sick, but she forces me to take medicine. Do you think this world is fair?”
“Their generation can’t climb mountains but forces their children to scale Mount Everest. They’re indeed quite sick,” Du Zhong agreed.
He said, “It’s so cold, wandering outside all the time, be careful not to get sick. How about I treat you to a game?”
“I don’t know how.”
“It’s not hard; as long as your fingers can move, you’re good.”
The internet cafe was dark, with dozens of computers illuminating the faces of the players, all young, none older than twelve. They were focused, completely absorbed.
Du Zhong set up a computer for Zhen Zhen and taught her the basic controls. She quickly got the hang of it, moving and shooting, jumping around, and soon got into the groove. In the first game, under Du Zhong’s guidance, she won, her forehead beaded with sweat from excitement. As the battle raged on, the internet cafe owner came over and stood behind Zhen Zhen.
“Get off the computer quickly; the inspectors will be here soon!” he whispered before moving on to warn others.
Zhen Zhen was too engrossed to listen. Suddenly, someone at the door shouted, “Inspection!”
Zhen Zhen snapped back to reality, frozen, unsure of what to do. Du Zhong quickly jumped up, grabbed her by the collar, and dragged her out.
“Girl, I’ve been looking for you all afternoon. Your parents work hard to pay for your education, and you skip school to chat online. See if Dad doesn’t beat you when you get home!”
His face was full of anger, and Zhen Zhen immediately understood his intention, struggling in cooperation.
“Brother! Don’t tell Dad! I won’t dare again!” she cried.
The inspectors at the door watched the “siblings” as Du Zhong successfully dragged Zhen Zhen out of the internet cafe. They stood in a corner, laughing heartily.
Du Zhong treated Zhen Zhen to McDonald’s, saying it was to calm her nerves. A Big Mac and a hot chocolate warmed Zhen Zhen. Du Zhong ate quickly and spoke with a slight stutter, telling convoluted stories that made Zhen Zhen laugh until she cried.
All of this was witnessed by Wu Li. Wu Li was Zhen Zhen’s deskmate, and they used to be very close. This petite girl was narrow-minded and jealous, unable to stand always being ranked behind Zhen Zhen. Eventually, a small incident led to a big fight, and their friendship sank. Though their friendship ended, Wu Li’s attention remained on Zhen Zhen. Zhen Zhen’s repeated truancy piqued her curiosity. After school, her younger brother wanted a McDonald’s Happy Meal, so she took him there. As soon as she entered, she saw Zhen Zhen and Du Zhong laughing and chatting in a corner.
Du Zhong said, “I don’t eat fish; they die with their eyes open, a typical case of dying with regrets. I don’t eat rabbits; they have red-eye disease. I don’t dare drink alcohol because when I drink too much, I immediately see another arrogant version of myself.”
Zhen Zhen laughed so hard she lay on the table. Du Zhong took out a walnut and handed it to her, “A craftsman’s work, a gift for you.”
Zhen Zhen examined the walnut closely. It was polished to a glossy shine, with the Eight Immortals intricately carved on it.
Zhen Zhen liked it very much and asked, “Is it really for me?”
“It’s yours! When I become a master, I’ll carve a big ship for you to see. It’s getting dark; you have to go home even if you don’t want to.”
Zhen Zhen and Du Zhong left McDonald’s, and Wu Li tiptoed to the door to watch. She saw the tall boy bring over a Giant bicycle, straddle it with one leg on the ground, and Zhen Zhen hopped on the back seat. The boy pedaled, and the bike carried Zhen Zhen away. Wu Li felt a mix of emotions, particularly uncomfortable.
Du Zhong rode fast, the cold wind stinging their faces like needles. Zhen Zhen lowered her head and huddled behind Du Zhong, wishing the road would stretch on forever. Du Zhong seemed to understand her thoughts, taking two large loops around Qingtan Street.
Finally, Du Zhong’s bike stopped at the entrance of Zhen Zhen’s neighborhood. He said, “Hurry home.”
Zhen Zhen walked towards home, glancing back. Du Zhong stood with one leg on the ground, watching her from afar.
Zhen Zhen opened the door and was relieved to see her father at home. Zhen Yuliang hadn’t been home for half a month, his hair disheveled, stubble long, looking a bit haggard.
“Why are you home so late?” Zhen Yuliang asked.
“Doing homework. Where’s Mom?”
“In the kitchen. She doesn’t look happy, so be careful.”
Hong Xia, cooking in the kitchen, heard the father and daughter talking and shouted, “No hands or feet? Why don’t you come in and help?”
Zhen Yuliang entered and asked, “What do you need?”
Hong Xia replied irritably, “Can’t you see? Take the dishes out.”
Zhen Yuliang carried two dishes out, and Zhen Zhen took the rice cooker to the door, Hong Xia’s eyes scrutinizing her like a quality inspector.
“Why are you coming home later and later?” Hong Xia asked, frowning.
“Coming home early isn’t right, coming home late isn’t right. Set a time, and I’ll be home by then,” Zhen Zhen muttered.
Hong Xia glared, “Can’t I even ask?”
Zhen Yuliang took the rice cooker from his daughter, “Go get the bowls and chopsticks.”
Zhen Zhen opened the cupboard to get the utensils. Hong Xia efficiently wiped the stove and range hood.
“A colleague’s child, your age, can cook for her mom. But you still need me to cook and feed you.”
Zhen Zhen pouted, carrying the bowls and chopsticks out, with Hong Xia nagging behind her.
The meal was laid out: a plate of stir-fried lamb with scallions, a plate of stir-fried shredded potatoes, and a small bowl of egg soup.
The family ate in silence.
“Old Zhen, has the final payment been settled?” Hong Xia asked.
“No.”
“The project was completed six months ago. If I didn’t work, how would we eat? You’d both have to sew your mouths shut.”
Zhen Zhen glanced at her mother, whose face was dark as if a storm was brewing.
“The client delaying payment is common in this industry. They’ll pay eventually,” Zhen Yuliang explained.
Hong Xia put down her chopsticks, staring at her husband, “Zhen Zhen’s tutoring costs money, the mortgage needs paying, your parents need support. Which can wait?”
“Mom, don’t waste money. I won’t go to tutoring even if you sign me up,” Zhen Zhen said.
Hong Xia scolded her, “Eat your food!”
“I’m full.”
“I serve both the old and the young, and this is what I get?”
“I’ll cook for myself from now on, okay?” Zhen Zhen couldn’t hold back.
“Did I raise you just to defy me?”
Hong Xia took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, “Do you think I enjoy spending money on tutoring? Without it, can you get into high school?”
Zhen Zhen stirred her rice silently.
“A colleague’s son improved from twentieth to ninth in class after one semester of tutoring.”
Zhen Zhen rolled her eyes.
Hong Xia glared, “Why are you rolling your eyes?”
Zhen Zhen muttered, “If you like other people’s kids so much, why not bring them home to raise?”
Hong Xia slammed her chopsticks on the table with a loud “bang”: “How did I end up with such an ungrateful child like you?”
The egg soup in the bowl rippled. Zhen Yuliang picked up a spoon, took a sip, and gave his daughter a look to say less.
“I transferred you from the twentieth-ranked school to the fourth-ranked one. Do you know how much money the family spent?” Hong Xia asked.
The last thing Zhen Zhen wanted to hear was this. She retorted, “I was ranked first in my entire grade at my original school. You insisted on transferring me to this school, and now I’m third in my class. You’re not satisfied because I didn’t meet your expectations. Is that my fault? You gave me these genes. If I’m not smart, half of that is on you. I weigh only half a pound, yet you hang a ten-pound weight on me. Isn’t that just asking for humiliation?”
Hong Xia’s eyes widened: “Say that again?!”
“You couldn’t compete with others, so you use other people’s children as weapons against me. I’m third in my class, of course, I can’t compete with someone first. The Fourteenth Middle School can’t compete with the First Middle School.”
Hong Xia: “Say that again.”
Zhen Zhen put down her chopsticks, got up, and slammed the door to her room.
Hong Xia was furious: “Come out here!”
Zhen Yuliang picked up the chopsticks from the table and handed them to her: “Eat, the lamb is getting cold.”
Hong Xia’s anger immediately shifted to him: “I must have been cursed for eight lifetimes to marry you and give birth to her. What did I do in my past life to deserve this?”
Zhen Yuliang kept his eyes on his nose, his nose on his mouth, sipping the soup in small sips.
“Is your mouth sewn shut?” Hong Xia asked.
Zhen Yuliang took a loud sip of the soup: “This soup is fresh.”
“Your daughter insults me like this, and you don’t even say a word?”
Zhen Yuliang said, “When she’s praised, she’s your daughter. When she’s criticized, she’s my daughter. You draw the line.”
“Stubborn and tough, just like your Zhen family roots.”
Zhen Yuliang couldn’t eat anymore. He put down his chopsticks and said, “Every day it’s like a battlefield. Can anyone live in this house?”
“Do you have another home?” Hong Xia asked.
“We were talking about our daughter, how did it turn to me?”
“You brought it up.”
Zhen Zhen lay on her bed, listening to her parents argue outside. She took out a walnut from her pocket and played with it until she fell asleep.
Rumors about Zhen Zhen dating a man on Qingtan Street quietly spread in her class, becoming more elaborate with each retelling. Wu Li’s deskmate, Li Yuan, didn’t believe it and asked, “Really? She skipped class just to go on a date?”
Wu Li said, “I saw it with my own eyes. The guy was quite handsome, half a head taller than her. Zhen Zhen was on the bike, hugging his waist, looking so shameless.”
Li Yuan asked dreamily, “Did he have big eyes or small eyes?”
Wu Li said, “Single eyelids.”
Li Yuan exclaimed, “I like guys with single eyelids!”
Teenage girls spread gossip quickly, and soon the story of Zhen Zhen skipping school for a date reached the ears of their homeroom teacher. The teacher surnamed Chang, was forty-five, with dark skin and a clear, pleasant voice. Zhen Zhen had been a top student, but her recent grades had plummeted, which made Teacher Chang very upset. She didn’t expect Zhen Zhen to fall so far as to skip class for a date. It seemed she had to call in the parents.
Hong Xia was already furious, having argued with a resident in their community. The resident-owned three large dogs and walked them without leashes. After complaints, Hong Xia tried to negotiate with the owner but was met with resistance. Initially, Hong Xia was polite, saying, “Sister Qi, we should leash our dogs when walking them.”
Sister Qi didn’t even lift her eyelids: “I pay the property fee. I can walk them however I want in the community.”
“I’m not saying you can’t walk them. I’m suggesting you take safety measures. This is a public area, and some people are afraid of dogs, so we need to be considerate.”
“Whoever’s complaining, let them come to me,” Sister Qi said harshly.
Hong Xia was losing her temper: “This area is my responsibility. If there’s a complaint, I have to handle it.”
Sister Qi raised her voice: “Who pays your salary? Isn’t it us residents? We support you, not to be bullied by you. My house has been leaking, and I’ve called three times without seeing a worker. But you jump at the chance to manage my dogs.”
Hong Xia said, “I handle matters within my jurisdiction. The engineering department handles leaks. If they don’t respond, you can complain about them.”
Sister Qi: “You’re all in cahoots. Complaining is useless.”
“Who are you calling a snake?” Hong Xia lost control and started arguing with her.
The conflict escalated to the property manager, who asked Hong Xia to apologize to the resident. Sister Qi refused, saying, “I don’t accept apologies.”
The manager asked for her specific demands, and she said, “I want this woman gone from the community.”
“Are residents gods and property managers their servants? In today’s society, which servant isn’t treated like a treasure by their grandparents? Why should I be trampled into the mud?” Hong Xia was furious.
The manager criticized her: “Is this how you solve problems? The same issue, approached differently, wouldn’t have this result. Calm down, we’ll discuss it in tomorrow’s meeting.”
At that moment, Zhen Zhen’s homeroom teacher called, asking her to come to the school immediately for a meeting.
Hong Xia didn’t know what had happened, but she rushed to the school, out of breath. She saw Zhen Zhen standing in front of Teacher Chang’s desk, head down, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Teacher Chang invited Hong Xia to sit and said, “I was going to wait until the parent-teacher meeting, but I fear it might be too late by then.”
Hong Xia looked at the teacher and then at Zhen Zhen, feeling very uneasy.
Teacher Chang said, “I’m not sure what’s been happening at home, but Zhen Zhen, who was once a top student, has seen her grades plummet. She doesn’t pay attention in class, doesn’t complete her homework, and her exam scores have dropped from third to third from the bottom. She’s dragging down the class’s ranking, which affects my professional evaluation.”
Hong Xia’s heart sank as she stared at Zhen Zhen.
Zhen Zhen looked away.
Teacher Chang continued, “This domino effect has led to an even more alarming result. She’s started skipping school, missing five classes in a row. Someone saw her on Qingtan Street with a boy.”
This blow hit hard, and Hong Xia saw stars.
Teacher Chang said, “Student relationships are against school rules and are strictly prohibited.”
“I admit her grades have slipped, and I admit she skipped school, but I deny she’s in a relationship,” Zhen Zhen felt she had to defend herself.
Teacher Chang: “Did you skip class the day before yesterday to meet a boy at McDonald’s on Qingtan Street?”
Zhen Zhen was taken aback. Hong Xia closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them again, her eyes were bloodshot. She stared at her daughter.
Teacher Chang tapped the table with her knuckles: “Did you or didn’t you?”
“What defines a relationship?” Zhen Zhen asked.
The homeroom teacher replied bluntly: “As the name suggests, dating too early.”
Zhen Zhen was so angry her face turned red: “Eating a burger at McDonald’s is dating? You adults were once my age. How can you become so narrow-minded?”
Teacher Chang was taken aback: “What did you say?”
Zhen Zhen pressed her lips together, unwilling to answer further.
Hong Xia was so angry her voice trembled: “Who is that boy?”
Zhen Zhen didn’t want to look at her or answer, standing there like a matchstick with her head held high.
Hong Xia roared: “Are you going to tell me or not?”
“Who are you asking about? How should I know?”
Hong Xia felt her head would explode if she stayed any longer. She grabbed Zhen Zhen’s arm and dragged her out into the hallway. It was break time, and the hallway was noisy with students. Wu Li and some classmates were leaning against the railing, laughing. When they saw Zhen Zhen being dragged by her mother, they pointed and whispered. Zhen Zhen felt humiliated and used all her strength to shake off her mother’s hand. Hong Xia stumbled and almost hit the railing, her blood boiling.
She swung her arm and slapped Zhen Zhen hard across the face. The surrounding noise fell silent, and the students and Teacher Chang, who had followed them out, were frozen in place. Zhen Zhen stared at them. Everything blurred, and she felt like she was being pushed headfirst into a swamp. If she didn’t struggle out, she’d be suffocated by the mud. She stumbled out of the school building. Hong Xia didn’t chase after her; she was exhausted, dragging her leaden legs down the stairs.
The sun was bright, and people hurried along the street. The sky was still blue, and the street was still crowded, but the world in Zhen Zhen’s eyes was no longer the same. She felt like she had just crawled out of an ice cellar, trembling as she walked and cried. When she was too tired to walk, she sat on a bench by the road. She found herself on Qingtan Street.
Du Zhong saw her and came over to greet her: “Hey, out-treating your mom again?”
Zhen Zhen’s tears fell in streams. Du Zhong was startled and quickly pulled a tissue from his pocket for her.
“What happened?” Du Zhong asked softly.
Zhen Zhen spoke incoherently through her tears, and Du Zhong listened silently. Passersby and vehicles occasionally blocked them from view. When Zhen Zhen didn’t get a response, she looked up at Du Zhong. At that moment, the sky darkened, and everything on the ground stood still, two shadows, one long and one short, quietly standing there.
“Come on, let’s play a game,” Du Zhong broke the silence.
Zhen Zhen shook her head, but Du Zhong dragged her into the arcade without another word. It was the same arcade, with dozens of computer screens glowing. Only one table was empty. Du Zhong settled Zhen Zhen down, pulled over a keyboard, and helped her enter the game.
Du Zhong said, “Games can relieve anxiety and help deal with fear, anger, and frustration. Remember, this isn’t just your battle. Three teammates on the LAN will follow you through life and death.”
Zhen Zhen couldn’t get into the game. Within ten minutes, she was repeatedly stabbed by the opponent and killed, blood gushing from her stomach, while the opponent danced on her corpse. Furious, Zhen Zhen stood up, looking for her opponent. She saw a seventeen or eighteen-year-old boy hunched over a computer, grinning at the screen. Zhen Zhen rushed over and grabbed his collar. The boy protested, “What are you doing? What are you doing?”
Du Zhong ran over, pried her hand away, and forcibly pulled her out of the arcade. The outdoor temperature of minus twenty degrees Celsius cooled Zhen Zhen down.
Du Zhong said, “Games are fair. The strong survive.”
Zhen Zhen said quietly, “I don’t want to play anymore.”
Du Zhong pushed his bicycle over, and Zhen Zhen sat on the rear rack. As Du Zhong’s foot left the ground, the bike wobbled a bit before moving forward. He rode faster and faster. Du Zhong didn’t say where they were going, and Zhen Zhen didn’t ask.
Du Zhong took Zhen Zhen through streets and alleys. The sky was completely dark, and streetlights lit up one by one. Du Zhong’s bicycle stopped under Zhen Zhen’s building. She got out of the back seat, her feet numb from sitting.
“Still upset?” Du Zhong asked.
Zhen Zhen didn’t answer.
Du Zhong said, “Sleep on it, and everything will be over.”
Zhen Zhen nodded and opened the door to her building.
“If you don’t want to go to school, come find me. I’ll teach you how to carve walnuts,” Du Zhong said seriously.
As soon as she entered the house, Zhen Zhen smelled her mother’s cooking. Her father was at the construction site, and two dishes and a soup were on the table. Zhen Zhen didn’t want to eat and went straight to her room. She saw her bookshelf was empty; her collection of “Rose Girl” series and fantasy novels were all gone. Alarmed, she searched everywhere, but they were indeed gone.
She went to the kitchen to ask her mother, “Where are my books?”
Hong Xia said, “Sold them.”
Zhen Zhen was anxious: “I spent years collecting them.”
Hong Xia carried two bowls of rice to the table.
“I bought the books with my money. I can sell them if I want,” she said.
“You’re unreasonable.”
“Reasoning with you is useless.”
Hong Xia didn’t even look at her, placing the bowls on the table, sitting down, and taking a bite of food. Zhen Zhen slammed the door to her room, stood against the wall for a while, then curled up silently on her bed.
The sky outside was pitch black, not a single star in sight. Where had the once starry sky gone? Had it run away from home? The thought of running away made Zhen Zhen’s heart tremble. She turned to face the wall. Her mother was like this wall, once her support, now suffocating her. She sat up and saw the empty bookshelf. November 25, 2004, was the darkest day in Zhen Zhen’s fifteen-year life. It had been dark before, but never so dark that she couldn’t see her hand in front of her face. She grabbed her backpack, pulled out her books, and tore them page by page. She put the torn paper in the trash can, moved it to the balcony, and set it on fire.
Zhen Zhen didn’t come out to eat, and Hong Xia didn’t bother calling her. As a mother, losing face, did she still have a reason? She wouldn’t indulge in this bad habit. Although she had no appetite, Hong Xia finished the rice in her bowl.
Hong Xia poured the bowl of rice she had served for Zhen Zhen back into the rice cooker to keep it warm. Too tired to wash the dishes, she dragged her weary legs back to the living room and sat on the sofa to watch TV. Through the glass window, she saw a flicker of fire on the balcony, which startled her. She rushed to the balcony in a few quick steps and saw Zhen Zhen burning something. Hearing her mother’s footsteps, Zhen Zhen didn’t even turn her head and continued throwing paper into the trash can. Seeing that Zhen Zhen was burning her textbooks, Hong Xia panicked, grabbed Zhen Zhen’s arm, and yanked her back, causing Zhen Zhen to fall to the ground. Hong Xia picked up an old washbasin and covered the trash can, quickly extinguishing the fire.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Hong Xia demanded, her face flushed with anger.
“Helping you get rid of everything with words in the house,” Zhen Zhen replied calmly.
“Say that again?! Say it again!” Hong Xia’s voice trembled with rage.
“I can’t face going to school anymore. Keeping these things is useless,” Zhen Zhen said, her tone steady.
Hong Xia’s voice shook with anger: “I raised you, and this is how you repay me?”
Zhen Zhen said, “You didn’t have me because you liked me. You did it to vent your hatred. A mother can hit her child, and as long as she doesn’t kill them, the law doesn’t care, and outsiders can’t interfere.”
“Say that again?!”
“No matter how hard I try, I can’t reach your life goals. That slap you gave me at school was the turning point for us. From today on, I’ll do whatever I want, and you can’t control me anymore.”
Hong Xia swung her arm and gave Zhen Zhen a second hard slap, spinning her half a circle. One ear went deaf, and the sound of the train whistle on the iron bridge became distant, while her mother’s scolding sounded like the buzzing of autumn mosquitoes: “Get out… as far as you can.”
Zhen Zhen didn’t know how she ended up leaving the house with a bottle of beer. The snow on the road, crushed by car wheels, made her slip with every step. She staggered along, drinking and crying in bits and pieces. She felt like she had walked a hundred miles, but when she looked back, home was still behind her.
Hong Xia, having vented her anger, sat dazed on the sofa. She felt that this day, like every other day, would eventually return to calm after the storm. Exhausted, she fell into a hazy sleep.
Zhen Zhen returned, wrapped in a chill. She went straight to her mother’s bedroom, took 500 yuan from the dresser drawer, packed her clothes into a suitcase, slung a backpack over her shoulder, and left without looking back.
Zhen Zhen bought a platform ticket and boarded a train. After three stops, she got off, fearing her mother would discover her runaway and catch her at the Xuecheng train station.
Hong Xia never dreamed her daughter would run away. She woke up in the middle of the night, her neck sore from sleeping on the sofa, and moved to the bedroom to sleep until dawn.
In the morning, Hong Xia went out to buy breakfast and placed it on the dining table. She walked to Zhen Zhen’s bedroom door and called inside, “What time is it? Aren’t you getting up for breakfast?”
There was no response from Zhen Zhen’s room. Hong Xia frowned and pushed the door open to find the room empty. Worried, she called Teacher Chang from her office.
Teacher Chang said, “Zhen Zhen hasn’t come to class. If she keeps skipping, she might get expelled.”
Only then did Hong Xia realize the gravity of yesterday’s events, and she panicked.
Zhen Zhen bought a train ticket to Luancheng from a small county three stops from Xuecheng. Luancheng was her first choice because her childhood friend Ding Yachun lived there. Ding Yachun’s grandmother had been Zhen Zhen’s neighbor, and in the 1980s, Ding Yachun’s parents moved to Luancheng, leaving her with her grandmother. Ding Yachun, three years older, liked to play with Zhen Zhen. In the last year of the 1990s, her parents took her to Luancheng, leaving Zhen Zhen heartbroken. She often dreamed of her. Two years ago, Ding Yachun’s grandmother passed away, and she came to Xuecheng for the funeral, treating Zhen Zhen to a Western meal and leaving her address in Luancheng, inviting her to visit. Her mother’s two slaps sent Zhen Zhen onto the train. As the white snow turned to yellow earth and then to green plants, she struggled to Luancheng with little money left.
Ding Yachun’s house was easy to find. After knocking for a long time, the person who answered wasn’t Ding Yachun but a young woman in her early twenties, wearing pajamas and looking tired. She told Zhen Zhen that Ding Yachun’s parents had gone to Australia, and Ding Yachun had been admitted to a university in Shanghai, leaving for there at the end of August. The house was rented to her. A cold bucket of water poured over Zhen Zhen, leaving her completely bewildered, not knowing where to go. The woman turned and went back inside.
The woman, named Qiu Feng, decided not to sleep after returning inside. She took a shower, blow-dried her hair in front of the mirror, applied makeup carefully, dressed neatly, and left the house, seeing Zhen Zhen sitting on the doorstep, hugging her knees in a daze.
Qiu Feng asked, “Why are you still here?”
Zhen Zhen said, “I have nowhere to go.”
Qiu Feng locked the door, ready to leave.
“Sister, you rented her house, so you must have her contact information, right?” Zhen Zhen’s tone was full of pleading.
“A phone number in Shanghai won’t solve your immediate problem, will it?” Qiu Feng said.
“Please give me the number.”
Reluctantly, Qiu Feng wrote down the phone number for her.
Zhen Zhen called Shanghai from a public phone booth. Hearing Ding Yachun’s voice, she immediately burst into tears. Understanding Zhen Zhen’s situation, Ding Yachun told her not to worry. She said there was a room in the house that hadn’t been rented out, where she kept her things. Zhen Zhen could stay there temporarily. Ding Yachun said, “I have a set of keys with a friend. I’ll call her, and you can pick them up.”
Zhen Zhen thanked her tearfully, and Ding Yachun urged her to call her parents, either to pick her up or send money for a ticket home. Zhen Zhen readily agreed.
For now, she had a place to stay. Zhen Zhen didn’t call her parents and didn’t want to go home. She planned to find a job, earn enough for travel expenses, and then leave Luancheng. She had no clear idea of her next destination.
Hong Xia searched for her daughter for days without success, and the police had no news. Zhen Yuliang left work and rushed back from the construction site. Knowing the reason for Zhen Zhen’s departure, he couldn’t bury his head in the sand like an ostrich anymore. For the first time, he threatened his wife, saying if they couldn’t find their daughter, he would immediately file for divorce. Zhen Yuliang called relatives and friends, searching for any trace of Zhen Zhen. The couple thought of everyone they knew but didn’t remember Zhen Zhen’s childhood friend, Ding Yachun. The police asked if the child had any money. Hong Xia said she took 500 yuan from home, and the police reassured her that when the money ran out, the child would naturally return.
Ding Yachun’s home was a two-bedroom, one-living room, one-kitchen, one-bathroom apartment, over a hundred square meters, comfortable and spacious, and well-decorated. Zhen Zhen looked around and used the key to open the room she could temporarily stay in. The room was tidy and bright, and seeing the soft, comfortable bed, Zhen Zhen jumped onto it, bouncing high on the mattress springs. She took a good shower and went to bed, the first time since leaving home that she lay in bed under a blanket. Zhen Zhen closed her eyes and quickly fell asleep.
Qiu Feng had no idea that Zhen Zhen had moved in and would be living under the same roof. At that moment, she was being held by a drunken middle-aged man, both holding a microphone and singing “Two Butterflies” to the screen. Song Hongyu pushed the door open and immediately noticed the graceful Qiu Feng. The man drinking on the sofa asked, “Who are you looking for?”
Song Hongyu said she had entered the wrong room quickly closed the door and left.
Deng Ligang and his group committed crimes as they traveled south, never staying long in one place. After settling in Luancheng, Song Hongyu entered a nightclub and immediately noticed Qiu Feng. Qiu Feng was striking, with light brown skin, a high nose bridge, deep-set eyes, thick lips, and dark eyes, resembling someone from Southeast Asia. She was from Beihai, a native of Guangxi. Qiu Feng’s attire didn’t resemble that of a woman of the night at all, with shoulder-length hair, a coarse-knit sweater on top, tight jeans hugging her hips, and brown ankle boots. Customers found her elegant and were particularly willing to choose her, leading to high earnings. Naturally, Qiu Feng’s income was much higher than others. Song Hongyu watched her day and night, knowing her daily routine inside out.
The guests in the private room were difficult, and after drinking, they became even more unruly. Qiu Feng returned home at three in the morning. The first thing she did was wash off the smell of smoke and alcohol from her body and hair. Wrapped in a bathrobe, she entered the bathroom. Her foot slipped, and she almost fell on her backside. She grabbed the sink tightly to steady herself. She noticed the bathroom floor was covered in water stains, mixed with some fallen short hair. The sink was cluttered with toiletries, and a basin under the faucet was soaking underwear. Qiu Feng was shocked, not understanding who dared to break in without a key and boldly bathe there. She turned to leave and saw the red light on the answering machine on the living room coffee table blinking. Qiu Feng pressed the button.
Ding Yachun’s voice came through the speaker: “Sister Qiu Feng, this is Ding Yachun. My friend Zhen Zhen is temporarily staying in the room I left. I hope you can look after her.” Qiu Feng’s mood instantly soured.