Later, she often wondered why Lu Li would save her in such a disadvantageous situation. Was it camaraderie between sect members? Or was it that tiny bit of fondness he had for her in his heart?
A woman who has fallen in love shouldn’t dissect every little detail over and over again, because as she thinks, she inevitably leans towards the direction she hopes for, becoming more and more engrossed.
That day, to save her, Lu Li fought against five opponents. Although he won miserably, he was also injured so severely that he nearly died.
Gelin remembered holding him, barely able to breathe, searching everywhere for a safe place. His blood seeped through his clothes, pressing against her skin. She was both angry and confused, just shouting at him repeatedly, “Who asked for your help? Who asked you to show off? What if you die? What if you die?!”
Lu Li had already passed out and didn’t hear a word of her shouting. Even if he had heard, he probably wouldn’t have answered. His head rested limply on her arm, and a broken jade forehead ornament fell, bearing scorch marks from being split by fire magic.
Lu Li woke up three days later. She had barely slept for those three days, constantly channeling spiritual energy into the healing net without even changing her clothes. When he opened his eyes, he saw her bloodshot eyes and the deep shadows beneath them. Even in such a haggard and exhausted state, she still glared at him fiercely. Her first words were, “What were you trying to prove by playing the hero? Do you think you’re invincible?!”
She had called out to him many times, asking him to cooperate with her, saying that two people were better than one stubbornly fighting alone. But he just didn’t listen. Stupid man!
Lu Li looked at her silently for a while, then averted his gaze and said softly, “You should sleep.”
She laughed bitterly, “Should I thank you? Thank you for saving my life! Thank you for caring about me so much! You have to give me a reason today! Otherwise, don’t even think about leaving!”
With that, she summoned vines to tie him up tightly.
Lu Li didn’t struggle but just moved his gaze back to her face, his voice still low, “What reason?”
Bai Li Gelin was suddenly at a loss for words. For these three days, she had been wondering why Lu Li would risk his life to save her. Every conclusion she came to was because he liked her. She knew Lu Li had feelings for her, feelings she had once shamefully thought to exploit, only to be mercilessly exposed by him, leaving her in a miserable state.
But now she still wanted to hear him say it. Deep down, she was secretly hoping he would say it, rather than pretending to be indifferent and playing dumb.
She looked at him, asking word by word, “Why did you risk your life to save me?”
Lu Li replied calmly, “Do I need a reason to save you?”
She was stunned for a long time. This ambiguous and enigmatic answer made her heart leap. The cliché of a hero saving a damsel in distress, something she had always sneered at in stories, actually made her tremble when it happened to her.
She longed for someone to love her as they loved their own life, to pull her out of the mire of her past. She also wanted to love someone earnestly, to have mutual affection. If it was him, she was willing to try hard.
“You almost died,” she laughed, but couldn’t help but mock, “Didn’t you say we should be strangers? Who asked you to do this?”
Lu Li didn’t answer this question. He said softly, “You would risk your life for Ye Ye.”
Bai Li Gelin still smiled, “Of course, wouldn’t you risk your life for your family?”
Lu Li still didn’t answer, only closing his eyes and saying, “You should sleep, you look terrible.”
She was indeed struggling to stay awake, so she lay down on the other side, turning to face him, “If I sleep, will you run away?”
“Why do you ask that?”
She giggled, “I’m afraid you’ll run away. Why don’t we team up? Senior Brother Lu is so powerful, don’t leave me alone.”
“…Just sleep.”
It was truly a beautiful time. She unconsciously grew closer to Lu Li, always sticking to him out of habit. She no longer flirted or played around ambiguously with other senior and junior brothers. Her eyes and heart were filled only with Lu Li, just like when she first met Ye Ye, when her eyes and heart were filled only with him.
Lu Li didn’t reject her closeness. He interacted with her cautiously and gently. Sometimes she thought they were really like a couple in love. Was this what mutual affection felt like? She had never experienced it before, so she could only imagine. But she was happy and relaxed every day, replaying every word she had spoken with Lu Li before sleep, his expressions, his voice. She always fell asleep with a smile.
Perhaps this was mutual affection? That night when Lu Li had been sarcastic and sharp with his words seemed like a dream, and her former fragile and extreme self also seemed like a dream.
Gelin remembered a sparring session with the Wenji Sect when they encountered Senior Sister Yan Fei and her sister. The enthusiastic Yan Fei, as always, pounced on her to kiss her cheek as soon as they met, then went to kiss Lu Li. Seeing that he had no intention of avoiding it, Bai Li Gelin suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable.
She thought of Lei Xiuyuan. Although that guy was always arrogant, which she disliked, his ability to keep a clear distance from women was praiseworthy. He wouldn’t make Li Fei worry or feel uneasy about such things. If it were Ye Ye, he would refuse too. He wouldn’t make her sister jealous over such things.
But Lu Li was an East Sea man, after all, different from the well-mannered people of the Central Plains in these aspects. If she worried about these things, she might never stop worrying, so she decided to pretend she didn’t see it.
Then she heard Yan Fei laugh and say, “Senior Brother Lu, you and Gelin look so close. Are you lovers now?”
This straightforward East Sea girl! Bai Li Gelin felt both embarrassed and expectant for a moment. How would Lu Li answer?
Lu Li said calmly, “No, we’re just fellow disciples. Don’t think too much.”
Yan Fei laughed heartily, stepped forward to link arms with him, and tilted her head coquettishly, “Then I still have a chance?”
This question was both enthusiastic and naive. Even Lu Li was amused. Yan Fei chattered away with him, her voice sounding to Gelin as if it were coming from a great distance.
Her mind was now a bit confused, unable to process things. Was she dreaming again? Mutual affection?
She became more and more confused as she stood there, and finally slowly walked away, thinking about her interactions with Lu Li. She couldn’t make sense of it no matter how she tried. What was he trying to do?
Gelin couldn’t see through his heart at all. Everything about him, she would interpret in a way that was favorable to her, involuntarily and uncontrollably. She felt he liked her, but she suddenly realized this was because she hoped so. Therefore, his every move, every word, would be interpreted by her as “liking.”
Between the two of them, it was she who clung to him more. Thinking back carefully now, Lu Li had never actively sought her out. When she pulled him to talk, it was always her chattering away about interesting things from her time in the Central Plains. He had never mentioned anything about the Nine Phoenix Clan to her.
Bai Li Gelin listened to the flowing, cheerful, and intimate conversation behind her. In the end, she couldn’t resist and looked back. They were still chatting. As if noticing her looking this way, Lu Li turned his head and glanced at her. She suddenly felt a bit flustered and embarrassed, as if he had discovered a secret of hers.
Instead, a stubborn streak welled up from deep inside her, as if refusing to admit defeat. She smiled at him, calmly lowering her gaze, but everything before her eyes began to blur slowly.
She felt so sad, indescribably sad and disheartened.
That day, in the sparring with the Wenji Sect, Bai Li Gelin lost miserably. She was severely scolded by Master Shen for a long time. She hadn’t even shown a third of her usual standard, completely distracted, which was something Master Shen hated to see.
She returned to her small courtyard in tears, unable to stop crying no matter what. Then, for the first time, she saw Lu Li in her courtyard. He was waiting for her in the shadow of the gate. Seeing her arrive with her face full of tears, he slowly approached.
Bai Li Gelin lowered her head to wipe away her tears, smiling bitterly, “Master scolded me too harshly…”
Lu Li slowly extended his arm to embrace her shoulders, but she immediately stepped back, avoiding his hand, saying with a slight nasal tone, “I’m fine, don’t worry, I’ll be better in a moment.”
She pushed open the gate, politely inviting him, “Would you like to come in and sit for a while? This is your first time visiting my place, right, Senior Brother Lu?”
Lu Li thought for a moment, “Alright.”
The water on the small stove quickly boiled. Bai Li Gelin made him a cup of tea, saying, “How come you have time to visit me today?”
Lu Li hesitated unusually for a moment, seeming to ponder something, and said, “There are some things… you…”
Before he could finish, an envelope suddenly appeared under the oil lamp, the golden immortal magic mark on the envelope glowing brightly. Bai Li Gelin’s eyes immediately lit up. She quickly opened the envelope, reading her sister’s letter first. Her words were always concise and clear, telling her to take care of herself and such. Ye Ye’s letter, as always, was much longer, recounting many interesting stories from his time as a candidate. She smiled as she read, and immediately got up to find ink to write back to them when she finished.
“This Ye Ye, actually wanting to break through the third bottleneck in three months, haha, what a fool!” She dipped her pen in ink and wrote on the table. “Senior Brother Lu, do you have anything you want to say to them? I can pass it on for you.”
Lu Li looked somewhat stiff. He stared blankly as she opened the drawer, stared blankly at the neatly stacked, pristine letters from the Zang Sect hidden in her drawer. She had been crying with misty eyes just moments ago, distracted all day, but now all of that had suddenly disappeared, leaving only sunshine on her face.
All because of a letter?
“What’s wrong, Senior Brother Lu?” Bai Li Gelin waved her hand in front of his face, then flicked his forehead. She had grown accustomed to this gesture in recent days. “Did you eat something bad?”
Suddenly, he gripped her hand tightly. Bai Li Gelin was slightly startled, seeing Lu Li stare at her with a hint of coldness in his gaze. He said in a low voice, “Let me ask you, do you like me?”
She was completely stunned. What did he ask? Was this something that could come out of Lu Li’s mouth? This direct East Sea style wasn’t like him.
Bai Li Gelin looked at him in bewilderment. She suddenly remembered him telling Yan Fei that they were just fellow disciples.
She thought she would be furiously angry, but then realized she couldn’t even find a reason to be angry. It was her wishful thinking that assumed he liked her just because he saved her. She didn’t want to lose face in front of him like this anymore.