This small, dilapidated inn stood inconspicuously on the edge of the town. It seemed that besides them, no other guests were staying here. Li Fei requested two rooms and was about to pay when the young innkeeper smiled and said, “No need. Since you were able to enter, you must be old acquaintances of Master Chongyi. Please feel free to stay; nothing from the outside will affect this place.”
Li Fei asked curiously, “You know Master Chongyi?”
The innkeeper continued, “This isn’t an inn; it just looks like one. I’m not an innkeeper either. Five years ago, Master Chongyi saved my family. We couldn’t repay such a great debt. The master said he wanted to stay in the East Sea but didn’t want his whereabouts discovered, so he borrowed our old family house to live in. I come here every day to maintain the facade. Sometimes the master imparts some health cultivation techniques, and I’m fortunate enough to listen.”
No wonder Hu Jiaping so casually told them to stay for a few days; there was such a hidden story behind it.
Li Fei returned to her room. The rift to the Small Thousand World was still there, but no one had come out. They must all be inside, mesmerized by those corpses. She didn’t want to go in and look at the bodies. Sun Yan and the others took pleasure in collecting rare and interesting things, but she preferred to be an observer. Cold, corpses weren’t as interesting as living people. Watching how they lived and learning about their unheard-of customs was far more fascinating.
As a result, they stayed inside for an entire day. The woman in the black veil came out once to get some food and went back in. Li Fei waited until the middle of the night but still didn’t see them come out, so she decided to go to sleep.
Her mood remained low. Although no one mentioned Gelin’s matter anymore, she couldn’t forget it. In her dreams, she kept reliving snippets from her time at the academy. Those were good times; even the troubles were worth reminiscing. Each day was full of possibilities and hope, and even the arrogant and domineering Ji Tongzhou was so pure and lovable then.
But gradually, he and they parted ways, growing further apart until now they stood in opposition. This seemingly invincible yet fragile young prince, what would he feel now, thinking back on the past? Was there not a hint of regret? As he grew older, his heart became harder to read. What did he seek?
In the silence, suddenly there came a few light knocks on the door. Li Fei, who had been on alert since coming to the Central Plains, woke up immediately. She got up and asked, “Who is it?”
There was no answer. The person knocked lightly twice more. Li Fei tiptoed to the door and asked again, “Who’s there?”
“It’s me,” Lei Xiuyuan answered from outside.
Li Fei sighed in relief and immediately opened the door. Sure enough, Lei Xiuyuan was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, looking down at her. She rubbed her sore eyes, still sleepy, and asked, “It’s so late. Is something wrong? Have Sun Yan and the others come out yet?”
Lei Xiuyuan entered the room familiarly and sat on her bed without hesitation. He picked up a pearl hairpin she had left by the bed and played with it, saying, “They’re still excited in there. They won’t come out for a few days.”
Li Fei poured him a cup of tea and handed it to him. She sat on the edge of the bed, yawning. Realizing it was him, she relaxed and immediately felt sleepy again. The night was still deep outside; she probably hadn’t slept for long. She wanted to continue sleeping, but with Lei Xiuyuan sitting on the bed, she couldn’t get in. She could only sit far from him, fidgeting with the corner of the blanket, and asked, “Aren’t you tired? Your room is across the hall.”
Lei Xiuyuan said calmly, “I’ll sleep here.”
Li Fei’s hand trembled. After a long pause, she forced a dry laugh and said, “This… this isn’t appropriate, is it? I’ve already arranged a room for you…”
Since she had found Lei Xiuyuan, because he had forgotten the past, they hadn’t lived together as before. No matter how much she liked him, she wouldn’t impulsively live with him as a dao companion like before, just because they met again. After all, to Lei Xiuyuan, she was a stranger who suddenly appeared saying she liked him. What she wanted was the mutual affection they had before, not to be just a bed warmer.
So they had dragged on until now. They could be considered mutually affectionate now, right? But she still couldn’t. She couldn’t explain why. Was it because he still hadn’t remembered the past? To her, the Lei Xiuyuan who had lost his memories was just as unfamiliar.
Many of the memories they once shared, only she remembered. He had forgotten them all. Even though Lei Xiuyuan was still Lei Xiuyuan, there were still some aspects that were different. She couldn’t bring herself to be as intimate with him as before.
Li Fei got up and put on her shoes. “I’ll go to that room. You should get some sleep.”
Lei Xiuyuan suddenly spoke: “Wait, come here. There’s something I need to say.”
Li Fei instinctively turned to approach him, but then suddenly had a realization. She remembered what happened in that small courtyard at the foot of Xingzheng Hall. That time, Lei Xiuyuan had also tricked her by saying he had something to discuss, but then things got out of hand.
Her face suddenly flushed red, and she began to stammer involuntarily: “If you have something to say, just say it here! Don’t try any tricks. Last time you did this…”
“Last time?” Lei Xiuyuan immediately caught the words she let slip and smiled slightly. “What happened last time? I’ve forgotten. Shouldn’t you tell me?”
Li Fei was instantly so embarrassed she didn’t know what to say. After hemming and hawing for a while, she heard him say calmly: “You say you like me. Is that just empty words?”
It’s not!
“Come here.”
Li Fei still shook her head. She said softly, “You said before that I wasn’t very good to you in the past. Maybe that’s true. So I’ve long decided to be better to you. But… I’m not ready yet… I can’t…”
Lei Xiuyuan grasped her waist sash. Li Fei only felt him pull forcefully, and her body involuntarily fell into his arms. He swiftly and decisively flipped her onto the bed, pinning her down. Li Fei tried hard to move her body away, looking at him seriously, and said, “Xiuyuan, listen to me, I’m not ready yet…”
Lei Xiuyuan pinched her chin, lowered his head to look at her intently for a moment, and said, “Your so-called being good to me is flirting with other men? And then playing this game of cat and mouse with me?”
Li Fei instantly became angry: “You’re accusing me? At least give some more convincing reasons! Those two just now don’t count!”
Lei Xiuyuan brushed away the stray hairs on her cheek and said slowly, “I know nothing about our past. Even if you tell me, it feels like someone else’s story to me. You’re forcing me to remember. Are you trying to tell me that if I can’t remember, you’ll always maintain this attitude towards me? Who exactly do you like? You smile at me, but you can also smile at others. You can hold my hand, but others can also hold your hand. Is this your idea of liking someone?”
Li Fei had originally wanted to struggle free angrily, but when she heard him say this, she stopped moving. Was he unhappy because of Hu Jiaping’s improper behavior earlier? In the past, when Ji Tongzhou bit her wrist, he immediately wanted to bite back, even harder. Now he was still the same.
She thought for a moment and said, “When we were young at the academy, Hu Jiaping was our teacher, so he still treated us like children. It’s not what you think.”
“Is that so?” Lei Xiuyuan smiled and gently released her.
Li Fei immediately turned over, about to get up, when suddenly his hand slipped through her ribs and directly into the loose collar of her inner robe. His burning palm grasped her bare skin, and she almost cried out. Afraid of making too much noise and alarming others, she could only struggle and squirm like an insect, her feet kicking wildly against his legs.
“Let go!” she said, both angry and flustered.
“No,” Lei Xiuyuan effortlessly restrained her. His hand that had entered her clothes slid down from her shoulder and covered her raised chest. “You said you want to be better to me. How exactly? Tell me.”
Li Fei was completely at a loss. She tried hard to keep her breath steady, making sure her voice didn’t tremble: “Xiuyuan, let go of me first. We can talk properly.”
“Now is exactly the time to talk properly.” Lei Xiuyuan rested his chin on the hollow of her shoulder and blew a breath into her ear. “Go ahead, I’ll listen carefully to every word.”
It was impossible to be forceful with him, and she couldn’t possibly use spirit absorption on him in bed; that would be too extreme. Li Fei took a deep breath and had no choice but to be gentle with him. She tried her best to ignore his hand and said, “It means protecting you, taking care of you, making you happy.”
She had originally intended to say something nice to coax him into letting go, but after saying these few sentences, she remembered all the blood and sweat Lei Xiuyuan had shed for her in the past. On the day of Haiyu’s fall, his body had pressed heavily on her like this, his blood soaking through her clothes. He had silently done so much for her; what could she do for him? Was it just as Senior Zhaomin said, to be a beautiful flower sheltered in his palm?
“I want to make you smile sincerely every day,” Li Fei paused, then continued, “You rarely smiled before, and never said what you wanted. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. I just want you to live freely and easily.”
Lei Xiuyuan was silent for a moment, then suddenly sighed and chuckled lightly: “Silly child, these things you speak of are what a man should do. It’s not your turn.”
He withdrew his hand from her clothes, sighing again as if frustrated: “You’ll give me whatever I want? You little liar.”
Li Fei clutched her collar tightly, feeling as if she had been granted a great pardon, and still wanted to get off the bed. Lei Xiuyuan lightly grabbed the hem of her clothes and said softly, “Stay. Keep me company tonight. I won’t do anything.”
He had never used such a soft tone to ask her for anything before. Li Fei lowered her hand and turned over to lie beside him. He had already pulled up the blanket to cover them. Li Fei felt his breath on her forehead, warm and tingling, just like on many nights in the past when he slept beside her.
Li Fei raised her hand and touched his face. He closed his eyes, like an obedient cat, not moving at all, allowing her to caress him gently.
“I won’t force you to remember anything,” her voice was as low as a murmur. “Even if you can’t remember anything, I don’t mind anymore. Give me some time, I…”
Lei Xiuyuan pulled her closer to himself: “Sleep now. We’ll talk when we wake up.”
It had been a long time since she had slept with him. The long-missed warmth and scent made Li Fei bury her head in his chest, gradually relaxing completely and falling into a deep sleep.
Then, the next day, she understood what he meant by “We’ll talk when we wake up.”