The night was deep and dark.

Suddenly, a cold air enveloped the couch, and a faint presence awakened him from his light sleep. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t open his eyes. He was secretly annoyed but ultimately helpless.

“Your Majesty,” a voice softly called, “Your concubine has come.”

His heart skipped a beat. That voice…

A cool pair of hands covered his forehead. “Your Majesty, wake up.”

It was her.

He tried even harder to open his eyes, feeling both joy and anger – joy for the owner of the voice, anger at his body’s betrayal.

He heard her sigh softly, “Well, I shouldn’t have come, but I wanted to talk to you. Your Majesty, you needn’t blame yourself. All of this was my fault. Your Majesty, I understand your love for Xi Yang…”

He listened, ceasing his futile struggle.

Her fingers brushed through his graying hair. “Your Majesty, you’ve aged so much. Half of this white hair must be for Xi Yang. Sometimes I wonder, if I had stayed in the palace for my confinement back then, would things be different now? Do you remember when I was about to leave? I made you promise to ensure Xi Yang’s happiness because I was worried she would be bullied without anyone to care for her after I left. It wasn’t until later that I realized happiness isn’t given by others, but something one must work hard to achieve. A person’s gains and losses are predetermined by fate; the price of forcing things ends up empty-handed. Sadly, though I understood this, I couldn’t teach it to Xi Yang.”

Sighing lightly, she continued, “Your Majesty, dawn is approaching, and I must go. Please don’t be melancholic anymore. Since Xi Yang didn’t have the fortune to bring you joy in your old age, let Suige be filial to you in her stead. Your Majesty, I’m leaving now. This life was too short. If there’s a next life, I still want to hold your hand…”

As the cold presence dissipated, he muttered two words like in a dream.

“Chen Fei…”

Placing the last word on the plain paper, a faint smile lingered on his lips. That Yi Xiao, the glass hairpin he gave her last time was clumsily broken by more than half. What remained was either carelessly lost or taken by Qin’s daughter. So she shamelessly asked for another one in their monthly correspondence.

Thinking of this, he unconsciously looked at the exquisite brocade box on the desk – inside were two broken pieces of a glass hairpin, the one she had once asked Xueying to request from him.

Tiredly leaning back in his chair, he gently massaged his brow. The summer floods were coming, and the Hedong region was likely to suffer water damage again. Reports from the northern border said that the nomadic tribes were showing signs of restlessness…

“My lord.”

He paused, instinctively looking up towards the door.

It wasn’t an illusion.

Seeing him look over, she smiled slightly, “My lord, it’s so late. Are you still busy?”

After the initial surprise passed, he regained his usual indifference, merely nodding in response. Seeing his coldness, her expression dimmed a little, “My lord, do you… hate me that much?”

“It’s not hate,” he answered simply, “The past is in the past.”

She lowered her head, “I just wanted to see how you were doing. I’ll leave soon. My lord, only now do I understand how wrong I was before. Because of me, you suffered so much. I dare not hope for your forgiveness, but I sincerely wanted to come and say I’m sorry…”

He listened quietly, his expression gradually softening, “Although I don’t know why you’re here if you want to apologize, I accept it. You don’t need to dwell on it anymore.”

“I came here to tell you that I don’t want the life you promised me last time,” she raised her head, forcing a smile with tears in her eyes. “Too many accidents before stemmed from my selfishness. I think, not just in the next life, but for all lifetimes to come, I have no face to ask anything of you. But I don’t want your pity or your guilt. You were right, if we can’t face each other as equals, we can never truly understand each other. It’s a pity I couldn’t listen to anything back then…”

“I feel no guilt or pity towards you,” he suddenly spoke, “I just don’t want to owe too much to anyone.”

“Heh,” she chuckled lightly, “You’re still so frank, not leaving any room for sentiment. Very well, if that’s the case, then we owe each other nothing. My lord, no, I should call you Your Majesty now. Please take care of yourself, Your Majesty. Xi Yang bids farewell.”

Turning to leave, she suddenly looked back with a radiant smile, “You know, I’ve only loved once in this life. Though it was a mistaken love, I don’t regret it…”

A sudden cold wind made him shiver, waking him up. He found that he had fallen asleep leaning back in his chair. The half-closed door had been blown open by the night wind, gaping emptily. The candle was almost burnt out, its wax overflowing the edge of the candlestick, dripping onto the ink-dried plain paper.

A dream? He smiled vaguely, carefully peeling off the wax drops from the letter, putting it away, extinguishing the candle, and quickly walking towards the door.

It was almost time for the morning court session. After daybreak, there were still many things waiting for him to do.