After returning to Woyu Courtyard, Shen Xiling cleared everyone from her room and hid under her blankets to cry alone.

Shuipei and the others had been jubilant, thinking that since their young miss had her coming-of-age ceremony today and the young master had rarely returned to Fenghe Garden, it should have been a day of universal joy. They never expected that in the blink of an eye, their young miss would return alone from the garden with tears covering her face, looking extremely heartbroken.

She told them all to leave and cried alone in her room. Her sobs were low, like the whimpering of someone in extreme grief. They had served her for three years and had never once seen her cry. Even when she was bullied by Miss Zhao at the main house and scolded by Old Madam Qi, she had never shed tears in front of them. How could the maids have ever witnessed such a scene? Naturally, they were all anxiously running about in circles.

Shuipei felt this couldn’t continue and was about to turn around to find Qing Zhu when she turned and saw the young master coming in person. He was wearing court robes that made him appear especially dignified, his brows furrowed and his expression poor, looking quite frightening.

The maids didn’t know what had happened and all nervously bowed to the young master.

The young master paid them no attention, only standing at their young miss’s door for a moment. Soon he heard the faint sounds of crying from within the room, and his expression became even worse. From Shuipei’s perspective, there even seemed to be traces of… sorrow.

But such an expression was only fleeting. Afterward, the young master returned to his usual impassive demeanor and asked quietly at the door, “Wenwen?”

The crying inside stopped for a moment, then turned into suppressed sobbing. The person in the room seemed to be trying hard to control her grief, but the telltale signs could still be heard.

Shuipei felt the young master’s expression became even more complex.

Separated by only a door, Shen Xiling inside the room also heard Qi Ying’s voice, but she was crying so hard she couldn’t respond immediately. Moreover, she didn’t want to answer him in her heart, so she simply made no sound.

Qi Ying probably also knew she didn’t want to speak, so he didn’t call her again. He only stood outside the door in silence for a while, then said through the door, “I still have some official business today and must leave first. I’ll return in a few days, and if you’re willing then… we can talk.”

Qi Ying was telling the truth.

With the spring examinations approaching, he had many, many things to handle – not only overseeing confidential matters at the Privy Council but also discussing numerous examination details with the officials from the Hanlin Academy. Though his recent avoidance of Fenghe Garden was indeed meant to avoid Shen Xiling, his busyness was also real.

But hearing these words, Shen Xiling interpreted them completely differently.

She only felt that Qi Ying was avoiding her, and that he truly, genuinely disliked her – so much so that to avoid her, he didn’t even want to return to Fenghe Garden. Even when forced to return, he wanted to leave immediately, unwilling to stay even a moment longer.

But why did he need to avoid her like she was a venomous snake… Was he afraid she would pester him?

Shen Xiling smiled bitterly and coldly, responding with silence.

Qi Ying stood outside the door for a while longer, but hearing no sound from within for a long time, he naturally knew Shen Xiling had no intention of responding.

She was crying…

Qi Ying took a deep breath, struggling to suppress the urge to enter and comfort her, forcing himself to turn and leave her door. But even after reaching the entrance to Woyu Courtyard, he stopped and turned back, calling Shuipei over.

Shuipei walked trembling to the young master, neither knowing what had happened between the young master and their young miss nor understanding why the young master was calling her over. After waiting a long while without the young master speaking, she naturally couldn’t bear it anymore and tentatively asked, “…Young Master?”

Her voice seemed to bring the young master back to his senses. His brows lowered, carrying hints of gloom.

Shuipei didn’t dare look further and quickly lowered her head, then heard the young master sigh slightly and say, “Take good care of her. Especially today, since her mood is poor, remember to coax her into eating.”

Hearing this, Shuipei naturally agreed nervously, then heard the young master ponder for a moment before saying, “If anything happens… come find me at the government office.”

Shuipei was startled by these words, thinking that the last time their young miss went to the Privy Council to see the young master, he had clearly told the young miss not to go there again. Afterward, he had even had Qing Zhu scold them servants, telling them not to encourage the young miss to act rashly in the future. Why was he saying this today…?

But of course Shuipei didn’t dare ask such questions. She only lowered her head in agreement again, then watched the young master turn and leave with hurried steps, quickly exiting the courtyard.

Even more cold and distant than usual.

After receiving the young master’s instructions, Shuipei’s heart carried worry, beginning to fret about how their young miss would manage lunch today.

She had Zijun go to the small kitchen to make the young miss’s favorite dishes. When it was nearly noon, she steeled herself to knock on the young miss’s door, tentatively asking from outside, “Young Miss? Zijun has prepared lunch. Shall I have someone bring it in for you to eat a little…”

Her tone was very hesitant. After all, even a blind person could see that something major had happened between the young miss and young master today. With the young miss crying like that, how could she possibly eat properly…

Sure enough, after a short while, Shuipei heard the young miss’s slightly hoarse voice from inside, “Thank you for your trouble, sisters. I’ll come out to eat in the small flower hall in a moment.”

Just this one sentence, then no more sound.

Shuipei didn’t know what else to say. Behind her, Fengshang and Zijun also looked at each other helplessly. They were even less articulate than she was and all shrank behind her, not daring to speak.

Shuipei was at a loss. She couldn’t very well break down the door and drag the young miss out, so she could only say, “All right then, we’ll keep the food warm on the fire and wait for you to eat it later, Young Miss.”

Inside the room remained silent.

The several maids exchanged glances, each seeing helpless expressions in the others’ eyes. They all sighed and carefully dispersed.

Inside the room, Shen Xiling had actually stopped crying.

She was curled up alone in the corner of the bed, sitting with her knees drawn up against the wall. Except for her eyes still being red and swollen and her hair slightly disheveled, she looked relatively composed.

She still held that little box she treasured in her hands – the one containing the little grasshopper and little rabbit – but she hadn’t opened it. She just held it loosely, not really looking at it, apparently thinking about other things.

Her first thoughts were naturally still about Qi Ying.

She didn’t resent him. After all, he had already been extremely good to her. What person in the world would take such care of a complete stranger they’d met by chance? If not for him, she would have died long ago. She understood this reasoning. What she resented was herself – how foolishly she had mistaken his magnanimity and gentleness for romantic love between man and woman. How silly. Actually, someone as compassionate as him would probably have reached out to save a life even if he’d encountered someone other than her that year.

He was just that kind of person – appearing cold on the surface, but actually incomparably merciful.

Later, she thought about marriage.

Her imagination of marriage came entirely from her father and mother. The tenderness and warmth between them made her very envious. She knew how her parents cherished and respected each other. Without such feelings, how could she live day after day under the same roof with a strange man?

The person she liked didn’t like her back – that was fine. She had already anticipated this scenario long ago. Though when it actually arrived, it was much more painful than she had previously imagined, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. She could grit her teeth and endure such pain, never mentioning it to anyone again. Time was a remarkable thing – given enough time, everything would fade. Her love for him would diminish, her wounds would gradually heal. Nothing was insurmountable. Besides, she had only stayed by his side for three years. If she used thirty years – ten times as long – to fill the void, surely she could forget him.

She would rather spend her life alone than marry someone she didn’t like. Qi Ying was reasonable – if she insisted she was unwilling, he probably wouldn’t force her.

Actually, thinking it over carefully, Qi Ying might not really want her to marry. Perhaps he just felt that if she didn’t marry, she would continue staying by his side, which would be troublesome for him, so he wanted to use marriage as a legitimate way to make her leave. If that was the case, then as long as she left, he probably wouldn’t persist in arranging marriage for her, right?

Shen Xiling pressed her lips together and curled up even smaller, resting her head on her knees as she continued to think quietly.

Yes, it was indeed time for her to leave this place.

Today Third Young Master Qi had told her that if she married him, Qi Ying would give her a generous dowry. Then… if she didn’t marry but simply left on her own, could he give her a shop instead of a dowry? It didn’t need to be particularly large or fine – just somewhere for her to go. Perhaps she could try discussing this with him, asking if she could take some of the silver she’d earned over these years. That would be very good too – if he agreed, that would be excellent.

As for where to go after leaving Fenghe Garden, Shen Xiling had already made plans.

She could first leave Jiankang for a while. When some time had passed and she wasn’t so heartbroken anymore, she could return. After all, her parents’ graves were here, so she couldn’t stay away forever. When she returned, she could first rent a room to live in. When her business improved, she could buy a small courtyard to settle in. That would be more stable.

The only thing she hadn’t figured out was the matter of relationships.

She didn’t know if she’d still be able to see him after leaving this place – would she never see him again for her entire life? Or could she visit during festivals and holidays? And there were Sister Shuipei and the others. After three years together, they had deep feelings – she already considered them family in her heart and really couldn’t bear to part with them. But they all belonged to Fenghe Garden. How could they accompany her in wandering about? Besides, she certainly wouldn’t have much money at first and couldn’t pay them wages as generous as those at Fenghe Garden. How would they support their families…

And there was Yao Shi… she was very reluctant to part with this lady too. Though they weren’t particularly close, she had once protected and cared for her, and today had personally presided over her coming-of-age ceremony. She had already quietly come to regard her as her own elder. Before leaving, could she visit the main house to see her once? If not, then the flower festival would be in early March – she should come to Fenghe Garden then. If she could stay until that time, perhaps she could see her once more…

Shen Xiling was thinking through everything carefully when she suddenly heard mewing sounds. Looking up, she saw Xue Tuan’er running toward her.

It had originally been sleeping in its little bed but must have just woken up. Now it was very energetic and jumped onto her bed to play with her. Seeing this, she took it into her arms to play with it, gently stroking its little belly. The little creature was extremely comfortable and kept making purring sounds.

Author’s Note: …Shen Wenwen is thinking so carefully and far ahead, as if she could run away from home in just an hour.

Qi Er: ? That’s really not necessary.