He found it difficult to describe the feelings that one glance left in his heart.

Second Young Master Qi had seen many women’s admiring gazes in his lifetime, including many more open and bold than this little girl before him. When he saw them, his heart remained completely unmoved—he wouldn’t even feel a trace of sentiment. If he had to describe it, he would only feel helplessness and trouble, as with Xiao Ziyu, as with Zhao Yao.

But in that instant when he saw Shen Xiling’s expression, she stirred obvious ripples in his heart. The feeling he’d experienced when first hearing the truth from his grandmother returned, even more intense than when he first learned of it. He felt somewhat awkward, yet also felt his heart being gently scratched by cat claws—that sensation was very subtle, indescribable.

More troubling still, beyond these subtle feelings, he also felt heartache for her.

She could always easily make him feel heartache.

It had been so since he first met her. At that time she had fallen sitting in the snow by the city gate, covered in falling snow, lifting her head to look at him with such empty and weary eyes. He knew she longed to be saved, but perhaps she had experienced too many hardships, making her timid about seeking help, so she appeared so hesitant to speak.

Hesitant to speak.

He understood such gazes very well—sometimes he was the same way.

When his father and uncles insisted on making decisions he considered inappropriate, when the twelve departments in the Privy Council argued and disputed fiercely, when His Majesty gave him those faintly probing looks in court—he would be similarly hesitant to speak.

He was taciturn not because he had nothing to say, but because sometimes, knowing words would be useless, he grew weary of contending with others.

It was a very helpless thing.

When he first met her, she was still so small—only eleven years old—yet already had that hesitant-to-speak gaze, so restrained, so weary, so bitter yet concealed.

It almost instantly stirred his compassion.

He saved her partly because her father had entrusted her to him, but beyond that there was something else: he understood her somewhat, and only later did he discover that this precocious little girl also seemed to understand him somewhat.

This was a very mysterious thing.

Later he kept her at Fenghe Garden.

He had bestowed favors on others before. Those who received his protection inevitably became greedy, wanting more after receiving one benefit, repeatedly causing him annoyance. He had never expected Shen Qian’s daughter to be any different from others—after all, she had a father rumored to be greedy by nature with questionable character.

But she truly was different.

She never coveted anything, not from false pretense but from genuine purity of heart. Even when he treated her kindly, she firmly maintained what she considered proper boundaries. Even when he later increasingly favored her, she remained the same, never using his affection to covet other things, still deeply grateful for any kindness others showed her.

That was the kind of person she was—a clean, pure person.

She might harbor some other foolish notions unknown to him, thinking everything she received was undeserved, often showing restrained and evasive expressions that made him pity her even more. He liked her sensibility, but sometimes felt she was too sensible. He knew very clearly that overly sensible people usually suffered wrongs.

At this moment, she still looked at him with such eyes.

Attachment, admiration, but more than these was restraint, endurance, and a faint bitterness that seemed to have become commonplace to her.

He couldn’t bear her looking at him this way.

He had already planned to speak openly with the young girl, helping her distinguish between romantic love and familial affection. Even if she couldn’t sort it out clearly, he would gradually distance himself from her afterward, letting her feelings fade. But now, seeing her expression, in just that one instant it overturned his carefully arranged plans. Once again she made him unable to bear it, unable to speak words that would go against her wishes.

He shouldn’t be soft-hearted.

He and Xiao Ziyu had practically grown up together with so many years of affection between them, yet he wouldn’t be soft-hearted toward her. His tolerance of her came from respect for her status, but with Shen Xiling it was different—he would truly feel heartache for her. Just thinking that those words would make the young girl secretly sad afterward made him unable to speak them.

Perhaps he should wait a bit longer…

Wait until she grew a bit older before speaking to her… or wait until she was happier before speaking to her…

Qi Ying silently sighed, was quiet for a moment, then took a box from his sleeve and handed it to Shen Xiling.

Shen Xiling didn’t immediately take it, examining the box and asking: “What is this…?”

Qi Ying glanced at her, reached out to open the box. Since Shen Xiling sat far away and couldn’t see clearly what was inside, she unconsciously moved closer to sit beside him. By the bright moonlight, she saw a grass grasshopper and grass rabbit in the box.

She was very surprised, showing a dazed expression. Seeing this, Qi Ying raised his eyebrows with a smile and asked: “Didn’t you ask for these before? Why are you so surprised now?”

Shen Xiling was rendered speechless by his question. That feeling of attachment to him became even more intense, as if it would overflow from her small heart. She struggled to restrain these emotions, forced herself to steady her mind, and answered with lowered head beside him: “I didn’t expect you still remembered…”

She looked down at the box, seeing those two little items woven densely and firmly, more beautiful and refined than the one he had made for her last time. Her heart became even more turbulent, and she heard him say: “You rarely ask me for anything, so naturally I remember.”

“Keep them.”

He held the box before her, his long, strong hand coming even closer. This was the first time since the flower gathering that she had been so close to him. For a moment, the feelings she had strictly guarded for over a month showed signs of becoming uncontrollable again.

Heaven knows how much she wanted to nestle into his embrace at that moment—but she couldn’t.

She was truly afraid of crying, so she spent all her strength restraining the tears surging in her eyes, momentarily unable to attend to taking his box. Thinking she was still throwing a tantrum and didn’t want it anymore, Qi Ying considered that he shouldn’t force her. After being silent for a while, he said: “You don’t want this either? That’s fine, then…”

Before he finished speaking, and before Shen Xiling could explain, Xue Tuan’er on Qi Ying’s knee woke up, meowing as it stretched up and reached out its small paws to play with the little grasshopper and rabbit in the box.

Not understanding about being gentle, one swipe might scatter the grasshopper and rabbit to pieces. Without time to think, Shen Xiling instinctively snatched the box from Qi Ying’s hands and hugged it tightly to her chest, looking at Xue Tuan’er and adding: “No! You can’t have this!”

In her urgency, her voice became quite loud, looking frantic as if her tail had been stepped on. Only after speaking did she realize this was improper, feeling even more exposed before him. Shen Xiling’s face turned bright red. She secretly glanced up at him and indeed saw him looking at her with a smile, making her feel as if she’d touched fire. She quickly lowered her head again.

Seeing the young girl tightly clutching the small box, Qi Ying’s heart softened even more. The cat on his knee was still misbehaving, so he picked it up. To avoid the young girl’s embarrassment, he didn’t mention the box again and instead asked: “Do you still want this kitten or not? If not, I’ll return it to His Majesty.”

Shen Xiling was startled, blinking as she looked at him and asked: “Ah? This… can it be returned?”

“Naturally,” Qi Ying nodded. “This is a tribute item, quite precious. I thought you would like it, so I asked His Majesty for it. Since you don’t seem to like it much, it’s better to return it. I heard the Sixth Princess also wants one, so perhaps…”

Actually, Shen Xiling had always liked cats and naturally couldn’t bear to send Xue Tuan’er away, but she still had some hesitation in her heart and hadn’t decided to keep it. But hearing Qi Ying mention Xiao Ziyu, she felt somewhat breathless with indignation. In a moment of impulse, she said: “This… after wanting it, returning it would be so improper? If… if it’s really like this, I suppose I could keep and raise it…”

She spoke awkwardly, but how could Qi Ying not see the reluctance and joy in her heart? He smiled silently, his eyes faintly revealing affection, not exposing her stubbornness but going along with her words: “Mm, then you raise it.”

Cats need to be stroked along their fur.

After speaking, he picked up Xue Tuan’er and tried to let Shen Xiling hold it, but Xue Tuan’er began making a fuss, kicking its little short legs while clinging to Qi Ying. Seeing this, Shen Xiling became annoyed, thinking that before tonight it had clearly liked her most, but after staying on Qi Ying’s knee for just a while, it had changed its nature. Feeling somewhat jealous, she stared at Xue Tuan’er, pursed her lips, and scolded it: “Little thing, truly ungrateful.”

The young girl’s tone was half-serious, half-joking, but she seemed genuinely jealous. This amused Qi Ying, who then looked at her and made a double entendre: “Mm, quite ungrateful indeed.”

Shen Xiling didn’t catch his meaning exactly but could hear the implication in his words. As she was pondering this, Xue Tuan’er became well-behaved, probably realizing its future owner was still Shen Xiling, and obediently burrowed into her arms again.

Shen Xiling forgave its earlier behavior and hugged it again. The little fellow nestled and nuzzled in her arms, its adorable appearance making her laugh, her expression taking on some cheerful color.

She secretly glanced at Qi Ying. His earlier double entendre had made her somewhat indignant, so after thinking, she responded with her own double meaning.

She said: “I will take good care of Xue Tuan’er. And since I’m already keeping it, I’ll take good care of it for life and will never easily abandon it.”

Being so clever, Qi Ying naturally heard the implication in her words and raised his eyebrows.

He didn’t know what the young girl was overthinking again—perhaps some unease had arisen in her heart, as she was always so cautious. He usually had no patience for coaxing others, but Shen Xiling had the particular ability to make him repeatedly make exceptions. Hearing her half-hint, half-awkward words, he felt no anger whatsoever but rather found her endearing. He smiled good-naturedly and even cooperatively nodded, responding with his own double meaning: “As it should be. Either don’t care at all, or care completely.”

His expression was serious when he said this, without any hint of jest, making it sound like a promise.

Shen Xiling looked up at him while holding Xue Tuan’er. Sometimes she heard his words, sometimes she remembered what he had said to the princess at the flower gathering. Her heart felt quite confused, not knowing what to believe, but looking at him now and the pond full of wind-blown lotus behind him, a sense of peace suddenly arose in her heart—the first time she had felt this way in the two months since the flower gathering.

Looking at Shen Xiling, Qi Ying clearly saw the change in her eyes. Though there was still some confusion, the way she used to look at him was gradually returning.

A little petulance, a little attachment.

He didn’t realize he secretly breathed a sigh of relief, nor that a layer of smile had appeared in his eyes. He only looked at her and asked: “I’ve been wanting some egg custard you make lately. Perhaps tomorrow morning—would that be convenient for you?”

They hadn’t shared breakfast for a long time—not since their estrangement began.

With Shen Xiling’s sensitive temperament, she naturally understood his meaning: he was asking if they could reconcile.

Reconciliation was a childish understanding. Qi Ying’s thoughts naturally weren’t so childish—what he cared more about was whether she could let go of her worries and become happy again. He didn’t want to see her remaining hesitant to speak. But actually, Shen Xiling’s understanding wasn’t far off—he indeed wanted to ask if they could return to how things were before.

She was silent for a while, didn’t answer immediately, first looked down at Xue Tuan’er in her arms, then at the small box in her other hand, with his promise-like words still lingering in her heart.

Perhaps it was because Wangyuan was especially quiet this night, perhaps the wind-blown lotus was especially elegant this night, perhaps the moonlight was especially gentle this night, or perhaps the man sitting beside her was especially tender this night.

Shen Xiling felt that heart which had been uneasy for nearly two months regained some peace.

She secretly glanced at him, pursed her lips, then gently nodded.

At that moment, her heart felt somewhat relieved.

Tomorrow might still bring many troubles, and her feelings for him might someday have to dissipate. She didn’t know when she would have to face separation from this man, but before that day truly came, she could still stay by his side as if time were peaceful and good. She would quietly study and grow up properly, secretly harboring such hidden feelings, stealthily, stealthily liking him.

Until the moment she had to stop.

Author’s Note: Volume Two is finally finished! The coming-of-age part ends here. Starting next volume, they can finally talk about love! (Can’t help but shed tears of relief)

The end of Volume One was quite difficult. Let me do a simple review:

About the romance: Wenwen’s feelings are already very clear to herself—love intertwined with affection similar to familial attachment, complex and deep. Qi Er’s current emotional state is open to interpretation, as I intentionally kept it somewhat ambiguous. Everyone is welcome to keep their own impressions and understanding~ I personally feel his attitude toward Wenwen is very special. He’s currently frantically testing the waters at love’s edge but being held back by his moral sense and realistic pressures—he’s also struggling (sigh, pat on the head…). He still doesn’t see Wenwen as an adult woman, so his feelings are also very subtle.

About the career development: This volume was all setup and foreshadowing, not really developed much. Many directions only had threads planted, many characters only appeared briefly, so sometimes it seemed somewhat incomplete. Thank you all for your tolerance! The main plot development will mostly be in Volume Three, including their mutual commitment, why they separate, changes in Great Liang’s political situation, why Wenwen marries Gu Juhan, why the relationship between Southern Qi and Northern Gu changed, etc. Many threads—hopefully won’t collapse (holds head).

BTW, Volume Three will have much more plot content than Volume Two (speaking of which, Volume Two seemed to be all internal monologues and emotional development… sorry everyone…), so I plan to pick up the pace a bit, hoping to tell the story clearly without being too drawn out~

That’s about it. Thank you everyone for reading this far~ Hope to continue meeting in Volume Three! bows