Away from Wei Yun’s distracting presence, Chu Yu’s thoughts became clearer as she sat in the carriage.
This “Gong Sun Lan” had seemed to know too much about her from the very beginning. Initially, he said Wei Yun had informed him, but as time went on, it seemed he had been told far too much.
After much consideration, Chu Yu realized that his liking her might be the most plausible explanation for his behavior.
Realizing this, Chu Yu felt somewhat awkward as she alighted from the carriage. However, beneath his mask, Wei Yun’s expression remained composed and natural, showing no sign of shyness.
Chu Yu steadied herself and didn’t bring up anything else. Wei Yun also said nothing more, respectfully helping Chu Yu down from the carriage and escorting her to her room before returning directly to his quarters.
However, as soon as Wei Yun returned to his room, Chu Yu immediately wrote him a letter, asking in detail about everything regarding “Gong Sun Lan,” and quickly had someone send the letter by carrier pigeon to the northern border.
After sending the letter, Chu Yu woke up the next day to hear the announcement of “Gong Sun Lan” coming to pay his respects. Chu Yu had a screen set up to receive him. He sat behind the screen and respectfully reported all relevant information for the day. His manner was gentle and polite throughout, making Chu Yu feel as if their previous conversation had never happened.
She gradually relaxed her guard and chatted idly with Wei Yun. She spoke of trivial matters, and he was able to respond to each topic. The time passed quickly, and before Chu Yu knew it, it was afternoon. When she realized this, she felt somewhat annoyed, thinking this person was far too easy to let one’s guard down around.
So on the next day, Chu Yu raised her guard, but after discussing official matters, she found herself forgetting her resolve.
This continued for several days, and Chu Yu began to feel reluctant to chat with Wei Yun.
At this time, Chu Yu finally received a reply from Wei Yun at the front lines, assuring her at length that Gong Sun Lan’s identity was reliable and could be fully trusted. Chu Yu frowned as she looked at the letter for a long time, then raised her head to ask Wan Yue beside her: “How long did it usually take for the Marquis to reply in the past?”
“At most three days.”
“And this time?”
“It’s been almost eight days.”
Chu Yu said nothing. She tapped the table, flipped through the paper, and then lowered her head to sniff it.
There was a faint floral scent on the paper. The northern border was known for its simplicity in matters, and paper was just paper. Only in places of refinement like Hua Jing would the paper be scented with fragrances specially created by each paper merchant to distinguish their products.
She sensed something was off and handed the paper to Chang Yue, saying, “Go and find out which house produces paper with this scent.”
Chang Yue took the order and left. Chu Yu rested her chin on her hand, lying obliquely on the long chair, and said slowly, “Wan Yue, why do I feel that there’s something strange about this?”
“What does Madam find strange?”
Wan Yue massaged Chu Yu’s shoulders as Chu Yu frowned in thought: “This Gong Sun Lan, don’t you think… he’s a bit too strange?”
“In what way does Madam find him strange?”
“Just…”
Chu Yu opened her mouth, suddenly remembering his smiling words from a few days ago: “What if I said I truly like you?” Her words stopped at her lips. She pressed her lips together and ultimately didn’t say it.
She felt as if she had returned to when she was twelve years old, having a secret in her heart for the first time. Like a young girl, harboring thoughts that couldn’t be spoken.
Back then, that feeling was liking Gu Chusheng, but now, it was as if she had encountered someone as scorching as fire.
She turned her head to look out the window, hearing the announcement from outside that Wei Yun had arrived for his daily visit. He brought a bouquet, respectfully bowing to Chu Yu. Chu Yu responded from behind the screen, watching him stand up and walk to a corner of the room, placing the fresh flowers in an empty vase. He said to Chu Yu, “I saw these flowers blooming beautifully on the way and thought of you.”
As he spoke, he turned his head. Though his face couldn’t be seen clearly through the screen, one could sense that he must be smiling as he said gently, “Take a look in a moment.”
The words to send him away didn’t come out. She looked at the tall figure outside, feeling that it wouldn’t be right to send him away after he had brought flowers.
During this time, Wei Yun came every day bringing a bunch of flowers, along with all the little things he had seen during the day that he wanted to buy for her.
None of these things were expensive, just items he bought when he saw them. Chu Yu refused many times, but Wei Yun always found a way to make her accept the gifts.
The small trinkets in the room piled up more and more, and even Jiang Chun knew about it. When she occasionally visited Chu Yu’s room, she would tease, “If I had known Mr. Gong Sun had such intentions, I wouldn’t have mentioned Gu Chusheng to him.”
“What’s the point of saying it or not?” Chu Yu smiled, “You and your Mother-in-law think too much. I’m very comfortable in the Wei household, why do you need to worry?”
“A Yu,” Jiang Chun held her hand and sighed, “You’re still young, you don’t understand what it feels like to have a child. Being a mother is also a kind of happiness.”
Chu Yu didn’t speak. She looked down at Jiang Chun’s hand holding hers.
The feeling of being a mother?
She had it.
She had once given her life to bear a child, whom she had seen as her light. But later she understood that in this world, no one but yourself can be your light.
Not a husband, not a child.
Only dreams and passion can stay with you throughout life.
However, Jiang Chun’s words also touched her. She remembered the time when she was pregnant with Gu Yanqing. At that time, she was full of hope and had also… been happy.
She lowered her eyes, feeling something flowing slowly in her heart. In her previous life, she had been blind and hadn’t lived well. In this life… if she could find a suitable person, could she also be like an ordinary woman, bearing and raising children?
“You’re right…” she hesitantly spoke, “But, except for Gu Chusheng.”
After all, she had already spent a lifetime trying with that person.
Seeing Chu Yu’s resistance, Jiang Chun thought for a moment and carefully said, “Then… what about Gong Sun Lan?”
Chu Yu didn’t speak. Seeing that she didn’t refuse, Jiang Chun said, “Gong Sun Lan’s status might be a bit low, but he has good character, and with Xiao Qi’s support in the future…”
“We’ll see.” Chu Yu pondered over the paper with the scent of Hua Jing, feeling somewhat uneasy.
“It’s your life after all.” Jiang Chun sighed, then remembered something else, “Recently, Gu Chusheng has been asking to see you…”
“Refuse him.”
“Mr. Gong Sun has already refused.”
At this, Jiang Chun smiled, “It seems he’s acting according to your wishes.”
Several more days passed in this hazy state. Zhao Yue kept the Wang family confined in the capital and issued arrest warrants for Wang He and Wang Zhi throughout the country. The northern border was still in a standoff with Su Cha, who once again sent a letter proposing peace negotiations to Hua Jing through official channels.
At this time, the Princess Royal in the palace had also recovered significantly, and it happened to be her birthday. Zhao Yue held a small palace banquet, inviting Chu Yu and others to attend.
Wei Yun, concerned about Chu Yu going to the palace alone, had his palace informant deliver a message to the Princess Royal, requesting a separate invitation for himself. That night, Wei Yun and Chu Yu arrived at the palace in separate carriages, one after the other.
The palace banquet was not large in scale, inviting only those familiar to the Princess Royal. Zhao Yue and the Princess Royal sat in the upper seats, with Chu Yu and Wei Yun seated on the left side. Directly opposite them on the right side was Gu Chusheng.
Gu Chusheng wore all red, sitting quietly in his place. From the moment he sat down, his gaze remained fixed on Chu Yu, not moving even slightly.
He looked much thinner, and his expression was somewhat haggard. Seeing his appearance, Chu Yu was momentarily stunned. She then turned her head away, lowering it to drink. Gu Chusheng smiled but said nothing.
Shortly after the banquet began, Zhao Yue told everyone to enjoy themselves as they pleased. Gu Chusheng picked up his wine cup and had just stood up when Chu Yu was called over by the Princess Royal. Holding his wine, Gu Chusheng thought for a moment and then sat back down.
Zhao Yue came down from the high platform and approached Gu Chusheng: “Minister Gu doesn’t seem very happy?”
“Your Majesty jests,” Gu Chusheng’s expression remained calm, “I’ve just not been sleeping well lately.”
Zhao Yue nodded and looked Gu Chusheng up and down, sighing, “Chusheng, we’re brothers. Why be so distant?”
Gu Chusheng glanced up at him. Zhao Yue looked towards Chu Yu, smiling as he said, “You just want to talk to Madam Wei. Is it so hard to ask?”
“Your Majesty,” Gu Chusheng replied calmly, “This is my affair.”
Zhao Yue said nothing, patting Gu Chusheng’s shoulder before standing up. Gu Chusheng remained seated as familiar officials came to toast him in turn. He drank each toast without hesitation, downing them in one gulp quite boldly.
After several drinks, everyone suddenly heard a sharp scream. They saw a palace maid kneeling beside Chu Yu, kowtowing repeatedly.
Chu Yu looked down at the wine spilled on her clothes and smiled helplessly. She gestured to the maid, “Don’t be afraid, it’s not a big deal.”
She stood up, excused herself to the Princess, and walked out to change clothes in a side hall. Gu Chusheng gripped his wine cup, took a deep breath, and finally stood to follow her. As soon as he rose, Zhao Yue approached Wei Yun.
“Master Gongsun,” Zhao Yue raised his cup, “I have many questions about the border I’d like to ask you.”
Wei Yun was startled, not understanding Zhao Yue’s sudden appearance, but nodded and said, “Your subject will answer all I know.”
Chu Yu went to the side hall accompanied by maids. When she came out after changing, she found all the attending maids had vanished.
She frowned and called out, “Is anyone there?”
With no response, Chu Yu instinctively slid a dagger into her sleeve, warily scanning her surroundings. She took a step forward and heard the sound of leaves crunching in the bamboo grove outside the corridor.
She turned back reflexively, raising her voice, “Who’s there?!”
As soon as she spoke, she saw who had come.
The person made no attempt to hide, standing openly in the grove. He leaned against a bamboo tree, arms crossed, his wide red robes hanging at his sides. The golden crown on his head glimmered in the moonlight.
His expression was calm but carried an indescribable gloom. Seeing Gu Chusheng like this, Chu Yu was suddenly reminded of that person from her past life – the one who was Chief Minister, who had crippled her martial arts, who had confined her in Qianyang for six years.
Her hand gripping the dagger trembled slightly, but she gathered her courage to steadily meet Gu Chusheng’s gaze. Trying to stay calm, she said softly, “Lord Gu, what are you doing here?”
“What are you afraid of?”
Gu Chusheng chuckled lightly. Chu Yu dared not look him in the eye and turned away, saying evenly, “I don’t understand what Lord Gu means.”
“When you’re scared, you grip the dagger in your sleeve. Your right shoulder drops slightly lower than your left. You look elsewhere, unable to face the person you fear directly.”
As Gu Chusheng spoke, he emerged from the darkness. He walked into the moonlight before Chu Yu, clasped his hands, and bent slightly, staring at her with a smile, “Madam Wei, what have I done to frighten you so?”
“Have I ever harmed you? What have I done to you?” He spoke gently, “I only refused you once, but haven’t I done well enough since? I waited a day for you before going to Kunyang, then fought desperately to return for your sake. For whom did I risk death by Yao Yong to join the Wei family? For whom did I journey alone to Fengling? And for whom have I maintained neutrality between the Wei family and Zhao Yue? Madam Wei,” he suddenly raised his voice, slamming his hand against the wall beside Chu Yu and shouting angrily, “What are you afraid of me for?!”
“Gu Chusheng,” his nearness made Chu Yu tremble slightly. This Gu Chusheng on this night caused memories to surge wildly within her. She controlled her emotions and said calmly, “Calm yourself.”
“You joined the Wei family because you needed Wei Yun’s help to reach the position of Director in the Ministry of Revenue.”
In her past life, he had also joined the Wei family, just earlier this time.
“You came to Fengling to avoid the struggle between Wei Yun and Zhao Yue. You did indeed act for my sake, but Gu Chusheng, between us, I’ve been very clear, extremely clear.”
Chu Yu looked up at him, speaking slowly, “Your position between Wei Yun and Zhao Yue isn’t for my sake either, but because you’re Zhao Yue’s benefactor and you’ve also helped my Wei family. By not taking sides, given Wei Yun and Zhao Yue’s natures, neither will trouble you. Gu Chusheng, you’ve calculated everything precisely. Why attribute all your reasons to me?”
Gu Chusheng said nothing, breathing rapidly. He looked at Chu Yu and spoke hoarsely, “How can you think this way?”
The smell of alcohol wafted over. Chu Yu frowned slightly as she heard the sob in his voice, “Is this how you see me? After so many years, even a heart of stone should have softened. Tell me where I’ve gone wrong, what I’ve done badly. I’ve waited for you, guard you. It’s fine if you don’t like me, but how can you like someone else?!”
Chu Yu was slightly stunned. Gu Chusheng gripped her chin, raising his voice, “What makes that Gongsun Lan worthy of competing with me for you?! Chu Yu, listen to me clearly,” he spoke through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word, “You are mine. In the last life, this life, the next life, in any life, you are the wife of me, Gu Chusheng.”
“You can’t leave me…” His hand trembled slightly. Chu Yu looked up at him.
“Let go,” she said calmly. “Making a scene here wouldn’t look good for either of us.”
Gu Chusheng said nothing, slowly breaking into a smile.
“Are you going to use force on me? Do you plan to hit me or kill me?” His eyes held a wolf-like madness. Before Chu Yu could react, he gripped her chin with one hand and suddenly embraced her tightly with the other, lowering his head to kiss her forcefully!
Chu Yu struggled violently as Gu Chusheng’s lips pressed against her soft ones.
Twenty-five years.
Tears fell from Gu Chusheng’s eyes. To kiss her like this again, for him, it had been a full twenty-five years.
But this tenderness didn’t even have time to reach his heart before Gu Chusheng felt a fierce wind rush past. Then a sharp pain struck his face, and he was grabbed and slammed to the ground!
Then a clear, youthful voice rang out in fury, carrying an accent entirely foreign to Huajing—
“Gu Chusheng, fuck your ancestors!”