Yun Li looked at him. “Why didn’t you come to find me directly?”
Until she left Nanwu, Yun Li had harbored an unrealistic hope deep in her heart. If only he had come to find her, that extra step of affection would have been enough for both of them to forgive past grievances and continue their journey together.
During her time in England, when she recalled the details of their relationship, she would tell herself that Fu Shize had indeed cared for her deeply. However, after their breakup, she believed he no longer needed her, and that she wasn’t irreplaceable to him.
They had missed each other for a year and a half.
She would have preferred if things had been as she imagined if Fu Shize had quickly moved on from their relationship and returned to a normal life trajectory.
At least that way, Fu Shize would have been better off than what had transpired.
“I’ve told you before,” Fu Shize said, sitting up a bit straighter. “I wanted to become my former self before coming to find you.”
At that time, he hadn’t achieved it yet, nor was he certain he could.
Fu Shize leaned forward, his hand resting on her hair, gently stroking her temple. “I just didn’t want to rule out another possibility—that you might come back to find me.”
After a moment of silence, Yun Li said softly, “I wish I had gone back to find you then.”
Yun Li felt guilty about this matter. Whenever she thought about Fu Shize’s state at that time, she felt breathless.
She leaned forward slightly, grasping his fingers. “When you recall that period, doesn’t it make you sad?”
Fu Shize replied directly, “I don’t think about those things.” He wrapped his arm around her waist, burying his face in the nape of her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her body wash.
Yun Li felt his soft lips press against her neck as he murmured, “I use all my free time thinking about you.”
Yun Li realized that her emotional state often differed from Fu Shize’s. Whenever their breakup was mentioned, she always felt sad and guilty. But Fu Shize—
He seemed to barely think about it at all.
If he did, it might just flit through his mind before he moved on to other thoughts.
So, even when she discovered something she considered deeply saddening—sending one-sided messages for a year and a half—it didn’t seem to bother Fu Shize much.
He appeared not to dwell on his gains or losses.
Because of this, besides feeling guilty, Yun Li also felt a pang of sympathy.
She said earnestly, “Are you clear about this now? When I first saw you in Nanwu and fell for you, I never thought about your past.”
Yun Li wanted him to know that from beginning to end, she had only liked the person before her.
“I don’t need you to become any particular kind of person.”
“Mm.” Fu Shize seemed to have taken her words to heart. He opened his notebook again and after a long pause, continued, “But I want to give you a better life.”
After returning home, Yun Li found several empty delivery boxes at the entrance. She went straight to Yun Ye’s door and knocked. The door opened a crack, revealing an eye that looked nine-tenths like her own.
Before Yun Ye could identify who it was, Yun Li pushed the door open forcefully.
“What are you up to, sneaking around?” Yun Li demanded.
The abrupt action made it unnecessary for Yun Ye to identify the visitor. He tensed up and stepped back, allowing Yun Li to enter.
The room was filled with a sweet scent, and dried flowers were scattered on the floor, arranged in half-formed shapes. Yun Ye’s phone was open to a confession tutorial on E-station.
Yun Li: “…”
Yun Ye felt somewhat embarrassed but still asked gruffly, “What did you come in for?”
Yun Li sat on his bed, then lay down at a 90-degree angle, covering her eyes with her arm.
Yun Ye kicked her leg lightly. “If you’ve got nothing to do, just leave.”
Yun Li: “I’ll stay for a bit. I won’t disturb you.”
Yun Ye glanced at her, saw she wasn’t moving, and reluctantly said, “Fine.”
Yun Ye sat back down on the floor, muted his phone, and continued watching the confession tutorial. The phone screen was small, and he had increased the playback speed, so he had to focus intently to read the subtitles.
A minute later, Yun Li rolled over.
She sighed, “Yun Ye, I feel so guilty.”
Yun Ye: “…”
Yun Ye: “Can’t you wait until I’m finished…” Before he could complete his sentence, he saw Yun Li staring at him glumly. He fell silent, covered his phone, and sat cross-legged in front of Yun Li.
“Go ahead.”
Yun Li described the breakup and reconciliation from Fu Shize’s perspective to Yun Ye.
After finishing, she sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Yun Ye to speak.
Yun Ye: “Are you done?”
Yun Li: “Mm.”
Yun Ye: “Then you can leave.”
Yun Li: “?”
Yun Ye was extremely confused. Previously, when Yin Yunyi argued with him, she said he was too rational. When she confided in him, his response was to offer solutions 1 through N, rather than empathizing with her.
Yin Yunyi had said that he should just listen quietly and resist his instinct to analyze the problem.
Now, Yun Ye had listened to Yun Li speak, and she was looking at him unhappily.
Caught between two women with different personalities, Yun Ye felt trapped. “What do you want me to say?”
Yun Li said, conflicted, “I don’t think your brother-in-law should have liked me for so long. I don’t feel like I have much to offer. After learning that he sent me messages for a year and a half, I’ve felt guilty ever since.”
Seeing her attitude so low, Yun Ye frowned in displeasure. “Who told you that?” He said without hesitation, “Think about it yourself. Looks, personality, education—which of these are you lacking?”
Yun Ye added, “Besides, you’re quite reasonable when you’re with your brother-in-law.”
Seeing Yun Li silent, Yun Ye continued, “Sis, haven’t you considered that there are people in this world who are just like that? Once they fall in love with someone, they don’t easily change.”
Yun Ye didn’t have many opportunities to interact with Fu Shize.
But perhaps because they were both men, he could understand Fu Shize quite well.
In his eyes, Fu Shize was a very simple person, whether dealing with things or people.
Yun Ye said with certainty, “I think brother-in-law is that kind of person.”
“And brother-in-law is quite lucky, I suppose, to have met you instead of someone who would forget him completely after breaking up.” Yun Ye lay down on the bed like her, hands behind his head. “Sis, you’ve already lost him once. Shouldn’t you be feeling more grateful than guilty now?”
Yun Li said nothing, suddenly got up, and returned to her room. She sat on her bed and turned on the paper ball lamp again.
The feeling of guilt still lingered, but a new emotion had emerged to replace it—gratitude.
At eleven o’clock that night, Fu Shize had just finished helping Lin Jingran revise an article and unlocked his scooter when his phone vibrated for a while.
He opened the message to find Yun Li had sent him a message: [Ah Ze.]
Unlike Nanwu, autumn in Xifu had moderate temperatures and frequent strong winds. Fu Shize’s clothes billowed in the wind, and he pressed them down.
Lin Jingran had already ridden to the side, his voice accompanied by loud wind noise: “Senior, the wind is so strong. Aren’t you leaving?”
Fu Shize replied briefly, “You go ahead. I need to reply to a message.”
“Senior, you’re so whipped. Don’t look at your phone while riding, okay?” Lin Jingran teased before leaving.
Fu Shize’s gaze returned to his phone screen, still showing that message. He sat on his scooter, legs supporting him on the ground, and replied with a question mark.
Yun Li: [I want to reply to those year and a half of messages.]
Yun Li: [One reply every day.]
Fu Shize thought for a moment: [You owe me for a year and a half. Is there interest?]
Yun Li: [What kind of interest do you want?]
Fu Shize lowered his eyes: [Not much.]
He slowly typed: [Two extra words each day.]
After sending it, Yun Li didn’t respond for a long time.
He slid his phone into his pocket, skillfully backed out of his scooter, rode down a slope, and then took a straight path to the dormitory building. Fu Shize parked his scooter and put the keys in his pocket.
His phone vibrated once.
He took it out to see her face on the screen, delicate and tender, her bright eyes gazing at the camera, lips slightly curved. When he unlocked it, their chat interface from when the screen last went dark was still there.
Yun Li Li: [I love you.]
…
Yun Li chose a game development position at a subsidiary of Youshen Technology for her job. After replying to the HR email, the next morning Yun Li received a friend request message.
[Hello, I’m Zhang Yanxin. HR said yesterday that you’ve confirmed you’ll be working here. The team leader wants to treat the new employees to a meal. If you’re available, please join us?]
The person added Yun Li to a group chat and directly sent the time and address, set for noon today at a mall near West Science and Technology University.
Yun Li didn’t want to go, but being added to the group chat made it harder for her to refuse. She hesitated for a while but still gave an affirmative reply.
She carefully applied her daily makeup, delivered porridge to Fu Shize, and then drove to the mall.
Yun Li arrived at the private room early. Six or seven people were already seated at the table, with her being only the second woman. Several people greeted Yun Li, and she sat next to the other woman, quietly listening to their conversation.
The appointed time had arrived.
Shortly after, a man arrived late and sat beside her, politely greeting her.
Yun Li responded briefly. It wasn’t until the conversation at the table became lively that she gathered from snippets of conversation that the man next to her was the team leader.
The man’s name was Zhou Tiao. He looked young, with a square face and a calm, steady demeanor.
After a brief self-introduction, he asked the new and old members to introduce themselves, going clockwise around the table.
Yun Li was first. She stated her name and graduation date, saying nothing more.
The others’ self-introductions were more detailed, covering their interests, hobbies, and personalities. The whole group’s atmosphere was lively and relaxed.
It happened to be another young man’s turn to speak. He was from West Science and Technology University’s Industrial Design program.
As soon as he finished, an older employee joked, “Then you’re the team leader’s schoolmate. Both of you are genius-level figures.”
Yun Li glanced at Zhou Tiao, who smiled.
Halfway through the meal, most of the new and old employees had become familiar with each other.
Yun Li didn’t initiate conversation, but unlike before, she didn’t avoid communication by playing with her phone during the gathering.
She sat quietly in the corner, answering others’ questions one by one.
From the simple conversations, she could tell that her coworkers seemed nice.
The topic gradually shifted to why they chose game development. Zhou Tiao, the leader, spoke first: “Actually, I studied hardware in school. It was by chance that I entered the gaming industry.”
He leaned back slightly in his chair. Perhaps something in his pocket was uncomfortable, so he took out his keychain and placed it on the table.
Right in front of Yun Li was a miniature moon-shaped badge on the keychain. She stared at it, almost certain it was the Unique team’s emblem.
Noticing her gaze, Zhou Tiao picked up the keychain. “It’s related to this. I was part of a team during my undergraduate years.”
The mention of the team sparked a series of cheers from the table, with everyone praising Zhou Tiao’s abilities.
Zhou Tiao waved his hand dismissively. “Those times were quite memorable, but the ending wasn’t great.”
Hearing this, Yun Li’s body tensed.
He dangled the keychain. “At first, we were into drone racing, then we participated in drone design competitions, winning first place nationally. Later, we went to international competitions.”
Zhou Tiao was lost in memories, his eyes full of nostalgia. “At that time, our whole team’s wish was to win all the trophies. Everyone who won awards in the competition got recommended for postgraduate studies.”
Zhou Tiao’s voice paused. “Later, something happened to someone in the team, and our captain took a leave of absence because of it. The whole team just fell apart.” He seemed emotional. “It was close to graduation time. During the autumn recruitment, I found a job with a drone giant. After this incident, I felt quite upset, so I looked for a new job during the spring recruitment and changed my career path.”
After Zhou Tiao finished speaking, the air suddenly became still.
“Did the captain take a leave… because he did something?” Yun Li suddenly asked.
Zhou Tiao shook his head. “The teammate who had the accident and our captain were childhood friends. Maybe he couldn’t handle the shock.”
“We’ve gone off-topic. We’re here to celebrate together today. I’ve set a bad example, so I’ll punish myself with a drink.” Probably feeling the atmosphere had become too heavy, Zhou Tiao smoothed things over. He poured a glass of red wine and drank it in one gulp.
Then, he looked at Yun Li, trying to recall her name, and asked cheerfully, “Yun Li, why don’t you tell us why you joined this industry?”
Yun Li snapped back to reality and briefly mentioned the VR games she played at EAW, explaining that she applied for this position because it aligned with her major.
After the others finished speaking, she got up to go to the restroom.
The pale white glazed tiles faintly reflected her silhouette. Yun Li stopped in front of the sink, looking at her face, which gradually overlapped with Fu Shize’s face in her mind.
She had previously considered possible reasons for his leave of absence: the pressure of pursuing a doctorate, disliking school, and issues with his advisor. She had even wondered if he, being so good-looking, had been bullied.
He eventually returned to school, so Yun Li didn’t continue to ask.
Putting herself in his shoes, if she had taken a leave of absence, she wouldn’t want others to know about it either.
Yun Li hadn’t imagined that the deceased childhood friend he had mentioned was related to his leave of absence.
After washing her hands, Yun Li absentmindedly dried them with a paper towel. She quickened her pace back to the private room, but the gathering had already ended, with colleagues leaving in groups.
Yun Li looked towards Zhou Tiao’s seat, but he was no longer there.
She slowly walked back to her car and opened the group chat for the gathering.
It hadn’t been convenient to ask at the table, so Yun Li tried to inquire about what had happened back then from Zhou Tiao privately.
Unable to find a WeChat account labeled as Zhou Tiao in the group, Yun Li could only message Zhang Yanxin, who had contacted her yesterday.
[Hello, could I please have Team Leader Zhou’s WeChat contact?]
She waited in the car for a while, but there was no reply.
Yun Li drove home.
She waited at home for a long time, but Zhang Yanxin still hadn’t replied. Yun Li called her, but she didn’t answer.
She wondered if she had offended her somehow today.
Yun Li called Fu Zhengchu: “Fu Zhengchu, I want to ask you something.”
Hearing the seriousness in her voice, Fu Zhengchu became a bit nervous: “Sister Yun Li, what’s wrong?”
“Your uncle had a childhood friend who passed away. Do you know why?” Yun Li hesitated. “I don’t want to ask your uncle directly.”
She feared bringing up this topic might upset or hurt him.
Fu Zhengchu: “My parents told me before that it was an accidental death, but they didn’t give me specifics. They also told me not to mention it in front of my uncle.”
Yun Li suddenly felt lost. “Then do you know if your uncle at that time…”
She didn’t continue, unsure if Fu Zhengchu knew about Fu Shize’s leave of absence.
Seeing her silence, Fu Zhengchu guessed her question and volunteered, “Uncle wasn’t in a good state before. Sister Yun Li, you’ve seen how he didn’t like talking then. He stayed in Nanwu for a long time.”
Fu Zhengchu paused for a moment, then continued, “But Uncle is doing well now. That incident happened a long time ago. Sister Yun Li, don’t worry too much.”
“Okay.” After chatting with Fu Zhengchu for a bit longer, Yun Li hung up.
She wasn’t sure if she was overthinking things.
Fu Shize had been almost completely open with Yun Li, except when it came to that childhood friend. He avoided the topic.
After all, memories can be painful sometimes.
Yun Li now recalled his forced light-hearted tone and strained smiles.
She sensed the hurt behind them.
He had been deeply wounded and was entirely unwilling to revisit that part of his past.
She searched online for the awards won by the Unique team and found the names of all team members in a news article.
Fu Shize (Captain), Jiang Yuan, Zhou Tiao…
When she searched for Jiang Yuan and West Science and Technology University online, Yun Li couldn’t find any more information.
She hunched over her computer. Although she had agreed not to meet Fu Shize today, she still grabbed her keys and left.
Seeing his tall figure approach, his expression relaxed and at ease.
After he sat in the passenger seat, Fu Shize noticed her preoccupation and tilted his head. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Yun Li didn’t mention what had happened that day. Fu Shize glanced at her tightly gripped steering wheel and pondered for a moment before asking, “Did the meal not go well today?”
He would find out about this sooner or later. Yun Li, trying to appear calm, mentioned, “No, the team leader in my group seems to be your classmate. He had a small Unique badge on his keychain.”
Fu Shize’s gaze fixed slightly. After a moment of silence, he asked her, “What’s his name?”
Yun Li: “Zhou Tiao.”