The young girl’s feelings became a secret she couldn’t share. Once she acknowledged her emotions, she could no longer pretend nothing had happened. Yin Yunyi began to carefully control her reactions around Yun Ye.
One day, while handing out homework, she passed by Yun Ye’s desk. The boy had dozed off mid-problem, slumped over his desk with his pen dangling from the edge. Yin Yunyi’s uniform pocket caught on Yun Ye’s pen.
Stirred by the movement, Yun Ye slowly sat up. His eyes were drowsy as he focused on her, then glanced at the pen in his hand. Without much thought, he said, “You want it?” He casually tucked the pen into her pocket. “Here, take it.”
“…Thanks.”
Yin Yunyi returned to her seat, cradling her notebook. She took out the pen and examined it for a moment. As she idly scribbled on the paper, she unconsciously wrote:
[I like you.]
[Yun Ye.]
Realizing what she’d written, Yin Yunyi frantically crossed out the words. A classmate walked by, and she quickly closed the notebook, stuffing it into her desk drawer.
Later, Xu Yao came from another class to tell her, “Yunyi, did you know lots of people are giving Yun Ye love letters? The teacher even called his parents, worried he might start dating early.”
Yin Yunyi composed herself and asked, “So many people like Yun Ye?”
“Yeah, I wrote him a letter before too,” Xu Yao said with a smile. “But he didn’t respond, and I ended up liking someone else not long after.”
Yin Yunyi was absentmindedly working on problems, her chin propped on her hand when she happened to glance out the window. A tall girl, who looked a few years older than them, was looking around. Her eyes were almost identical to Yun Ye’s.
That must be Yun Ye’s “guardian,” she thought.
Yin Yunyi stood up, wanting to get a better look. At the staircase landing, she saw the girl talking with Yun Ye. He was leaning against an old wooden window frame.
The girl asked him, “Were those love letters from your deskmate?”
Yun Ye: “…”
The girl’s tone was surprised: “I can’t believe it. Someone likes my little brother.” She started laughing. “And such a pretty girl too.”
Yun Ye struggled for a moment before saying, “…It’s not her.”
His tone was exasperated: “Yun Li, you’re so noisy.”
“Is your homeroom teacher going to scold me?” Yun Li sighed. “Oh, Yun Ye, can’t you avoid causing trouble?”
“At most, they’ll just scold me…” Yun Ye said impatiently. Seeing Yun Li looking dejected, he hesitated before grudgingly consoling her, “If you help me deal with the homeroom teacher, I’ll treat you to dinner tonight.”
Yun Li looked at him suspiciously. “Are you paying, or am I?”
Caught out, Yun Ye’s eyes crinkled as he said brazenly, “You’re paying.”
Yun Li: “…”
As the siblings finished talking and headed upstairs, Yin Yunyi shrank back and quickly ran back to the classroom.
Sitting at her desk, her heart was pounding. She felt guilty for eavesdropping on their conversation.
As she started her homework, Yin Yunyi found herself lost in thought. The way Yun Ye and Yun Li interacted seemed so natural and close, just like her relationship with Yin Yucheng. She felt a bit envious.
Shortly after, Yun Ye returned to pack his bag. In Yin Yunyi’s experience, someone who had just been scolded by a teacher should have a sour face or be in tears. Yun Ye looked irritated, met her eyes briefly, then slung his bag over his shoulder, ready to leave.
Yin Yunyi thought he must be the type to keep his emotions to himself.
She pretended to work on problems for a while, not wanting her question to cause a commotion. After careful consideration, Yin Yunyi wrote a note on a small card and placed it on his desk without turning around.
[I often get criticized by teachers too. Don’t be upset.]
She added a smiley face at the end [:)]
Yun Ye glanced at her, then after a moment, picked up a pen from his desk and scribbled something. As he passed her desk, he tossed the card back to her and said in his usual tone, “I’m off.”
There were only two hastily drawn symbols — [:)]
Yin Yunyi’s high school life began to revolve around Yun Ye. She would secretly watch him play basketball, cheering silently for his scores. She’d check his ranking first when test results came out, her heart rising and falling with his performance. She’d leave school around the same time as him, creating “chance” encounters.
These occasional meetings became the highlight of the young girl’s days.
During the school sports meet in their first year, all students moved their chairs to the field, creating a sea of heads. The event lasted three days, and eventually, classmates started playing games in their seats.
The losers had to play Truth or Dare.
Yun Ye had just finished a relay race and was pulled into a chair as he returned, panting. He wore a sports tank top, his body not yet fully grown, the muscle lines on his arms not very defined.
Yin Yunyi handed him a bottle of water from nearby.
Yun Ye took it, saying, “Thanks.”
As he drank, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, sweat dripping from his hair. Yin Yunyi watched for a moment before noticing his gaze shift to her. Her heart raced as she lowered her head.
The game continued.
Yun Ye, having just arrived, lost a few rounds unknowingly. The “Truth” questions were repetitive.
“Which girl here do you think is the prettiest?”
Yun Ye didn’t want to answer such questions. He deflected, “Everyone has different tastes, right?”
“Then which girl here best fits your taste?”
Yun Ye glanced up and quickly said a name: “Yin Yunyi.”
Other boys had answered with her name before, but it never had the impact of hearing it from Yun Ye. Though she hadn’t exercised, she felt a thin layer of sweat form on her skin.
“Do you think Yin Yunyi looks better with her hair up or down?”
Yun Ye made a sound of surprise, rocking back and forth in his chair. His eyes crinkled as he smiled brightly, “I’ve never seen her with her hair down.” As the others persisted, he casually answered after a moment, “Down, I guess.”
A girl nearby teased her, “Yunyi, your face is red!”
Yin Yunyi tensed inwardly but calmly met Yun Ye’s gaze. “It’s just the sun,” she excused herself. “I’m going to the school store.”
At the store, Yin Yunyi breathed a sigh of relief, glad she hadn’t given herself away.
She wanted to buy an ice cream cone, but the store only accepted cash or online payment. Yin Yunyi only had money on her student card, so she gave up on the idea.
Nearby stood the sports meet’s award notice board. She stopped to search for Yun Ye’s name.
Suddenly, Yun Ye’s voice came from beside her: “Did you find my name?”
Though Yin Yunyi had already seen it, she instinctively denied it. “No… Where is it?”
“Here.” The boy stepped forward and pointed directly at his name. Yin Yunyi looked at his face for a few seconds, then dazedly at the characters for “Yun Ye” on the board.
“Bought too many. Here, have one.” Yun Ye handed her the ice cream cone. Yin Yunyi took it, still in a daze. Yun Ye bit into his popsicle, then held the stick with his hand. He gestured to her, “Let’s head back.”
“…”
Yin Yunyi’s gaze followed the boy’s retreating figure, then shifted to the cherry blossom-flavored ice cream cone in her hand.
She couldn’t understand how someone could be so attractive.
However, her strict upbringing made her bury these feelings deep in her heart.
Yin Yunyi thought that perhaps, like Xu Yao, this crush was just a fleeting, naive feeling.
It would disappear soon enough.
A few days later, her family informed Yin Yunyi that Yin Yucheng’s job was in Xifu City, and she would be transferring schools.
Upon hearing this news, Yin Yunyi immediately thought of the boy who had awakened her first love.
Unable to control her emotions, she cried after hearing the news.
Yin Yunyi was usually calm and stable, so Yin Yucheng was at a loss, unsure of what had happened. He hurried to comfort her.
After a while, she sniffled and said, “The schools there aren’t as good. I want to get into a good university.”
Yin Yucheng laughed, “Our Yunyi did so well on her high school entrance exams. I’ve already arranged for you to attend the best high school in Nanwu.”
“I’m not used to the food there.”
“Mom and Dad will be moving too. They can cook Xifu dishes for you.”
“I haven’t finished my training classes.”
“I’ll transfer you to training classes in Nanwu.”
Yin Yunyi persisted, “All my friends are here.”
Yin Yucheng consoled her, “I know you’ll miss your friends here, but you’ll make new friends at your new school.”
“But… but…” Yin Yunyi’s voice choked up.
In all these years, she had only met one boy like Yun Ye.
She kept wiping away tears. Her parents and brother were all leaving Xifu City; she couldn’t selfishly obstruct them because of her vague feelings.
But she was heartbroken.
She would never see Yun Ye again.
Yin Yunyi told Xu Yao about her transfer. The news spread quickly, and classmates she had known for over a year came to say goodbye. Many gave her farewell gifts.
But not Yun Ye.
For the young girl, her budding feelings would remain forever sealed, never to be confessed.
On the day she left school, Yin Yucheng came to pick her up, considerate of her emotions. Yin Yunyi walked silently, but as they approached the sports field, she heard footsteps and the sound of a basketball hitting the ground.
Yin Yunyi glimpsed that familiar figure and stopped.
Yin Yucheng asked, “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head and continued walking, head down.
“Yin Yunyi—”
From a distance, she heard Yun Ye’s voice echoing across the empty field.
Yin Yunyi immediately turned around. Yun Ye was at the edge of the basketball court, far away. She couldn’t make out his expression, but she was certain he was looking at her.
A few seconds later, the tall, slender figure waved at her.
She whispered, “Let’s go.”
Her silky hair fluttered gently in the breeze.
This was the first time she had let her hair down at school. Perhaps it was just a naive joke from him, but she took it seriously. She wanted Yun Ye to see her.
…
At Nanwu Middle School, Yin Yunyi sat on a single desk by the window, without a seatmate. Only the sunlight of Nanwu kept her company.
Occasionally, she would gaze out the window, lost in thought. She remembered how in junior high, she could glimpse Yun Ye running with the basketball on the court below.
She didn’t have a phone, and her internet time at home was strictly limited. During the few minutes she had online on weekends, she would open QQ and see Yun Ye’s default penguin avatar but never knew what message to send.
Gradually, she adapted to her new school, and life became routine.
Then she received a postcard from Xifu Experimental Middle School.
Yin Yunyi immediately recognized Yun Ye’s handwriting. The postcard contained no information about him, only saying: “The class made you a birthday gift. Yun Ye’s sister will help bring it to Nanwu City. Happy birthday, Yin Yunyi.”
When Yin Yunyi received the gift from Yun Li, she noticed the neat handwriting on the box that read “For Yin Yunyi.” She instantly recognized it as Yun Ye’s.
Her heart raced as she stole a glance at Yin Yucheng.
Back home, Yin Yunyi took the box to her room and carefully opened it.
Inside a transparent glass sphere were white and light pink cherry blossoms.
She noticed tiny sparkles on the petals. When she turned off the lights, she saw it was white fluorescent powder. The preserved flowers glowed faintly on her desk.
Yin Yunyi looked at the gift, thinking of the boy far away.
Perhaps she was fortunate that the person she liked was responsible for preparing these things for her.
At first, Yin Yunyi thought it was just a coincidence until she noticed the frequent postcards, each in Yun Ye’s handwriting.
Yin Yucheng discovered it earlier. Seeing that Yin Yunyi hadn’t told him the truth, he approached her with the pile of postcards and asked, “Does your former class have a dedicated letter writer?”
Yin Yunyi smiled gently like him but didn’t answer.
Yin Yucheng was more perceptive than she had imagined. He sat beside her.
As his pen moved steadily across the exercise book, he observed Yin Yunyi’s calm expression and casually asked, “Does this boy like you?”
The pencil lead suddenly broke.
Yin Yunyi pretended to be composed, pressing her pencil as she responded, “What?”
“It’s Yun Ye, right?” Yin Yucheng probed further. The hand on the exercise book stiffened, and Yin Yunyi resignedly lowered her head, “Brother, please don’t tell Mom and Dad.”
“But this isn’t good,” Yin Yucheng said, slightly more serious. “We should take others’ feelings seriously. If you don’t like him, you should reject him. Otherwise, it might affect him too.”
Yin Yunyi remained silent for a while before obediently saying, “I understand.”
“Then use some extra computer time this weekend to clear things up with him,” Yin Yucheng said, dropping the subject. He neatly arranged the postcards and placed them on her bookshelf.
“Okay,” Yin Yunyi agreed submissively, lowering her head to do her homework.
That weekend, Yin Yucheng extended her internet time to half an hour. When shutting down, Yin Yunyi forgot to confirm twice, leaving the computer in standby mode.
Yin Yucheng placed a fruit platter on her desk and gently asked, “Did you talk to him?”
Yin Yunyi: “Yes.”
“Was the boy very upset?” Yin Yucheng, bored, sat in her room. Seeing no response, he asked again after a while, “How did he react?”
“…”
Yin Yunyi was working on the college entrance exam practice book he had seen many times. She looked up at her door, “Brother, I don’t have time right now.”
Driven out of his sister’s room, Yin Yucheng returned to the study aimlessly. Noticing the computer wasn’t shut down, he turned on the screen and saw Yin Yunyi’s account still logged in.
Concerned about her wording, Yin Yucheng opened her chat window and saw the afternoon’s conversation.
yyy: [Yun Ye]
yy: [?]
Yun Ye replied instantly. Yin Yunyi thought for a long time before sending her next message.
yyy: [What are you doing?]
yy: [Working on Wu San. You?]
yyy: [I’m also doing Wu San. Which book are you on, and how far?]
yy: [The Chinese one, Classical Chinese point 4.]
yyy: [Oh, I’ll go work on that too.]
Half an hour later.
yy: [Bye.]
Judging by the nicknames alone, Yin Yucheng could hardly tell which was which. One used the default male penguin avatar, while the other, equally naive, used the default female penguin avatar.
Yin Yucheng was speechless but quickly realized that the two had feelings for each other.
He turned off the computer without mentioning this to Yin Yunyi.
This was the first time Yin Yunyi had lied to her family.
She didn’t know she could lie so convincingly.
Yin Yunyi couldn’t articulate the exact reason for her actions.
She recalled the scenes from past years when she entered the classroom: Yun Ye lazily sprawled on his desk, one hand stretched out, idly clicking a ballpoint pen repeatedly.
She remembered him on the basketball court, bold and unrestrained, panting slightly with hands on his knees after scoring, occasionally looking up as if he had spotted her in the crowd.
She thought of their familiar yet distant five years together, how they would tease each other like peers while maintaining the basic distance between boys and girls.
Yun Ye and she had never been close. Their closest moment was when their fingers lightly brushed while passing an eraser.
Back then, Yin Yunyi thought it was just her own heart skipping a beat.
Receiving these postcards from the boy.
Every word tried to hide his feelings, yet every word failed to conceal them.
It turned out her crush wasn’t one-sided.
So, the usually obedient and honest girl chose to lie to her family about this.
In her way, she carefully nurtured this budding feeling.
Both faced the college entrance exam, and Yin Yunyi didn’t rashly reveal her feelings.
But she also didn’t want him to invest one-sidedly.
She found an excuse to borrow ten yuan from Yin Yucheng. He saw through her but didn’t mention it, still giving her the money.
Yin Yunyi chose a set of nice postcards at Nanwu Middle School’s educational supermarket.
After much hesitation, she still wrote at the beginning — [To the classmates of Class 15, Grade 2].
It wasn’t until Yun Ye came to Nanwu during the winter break that Yin Yunyi, upon seeing the boy, told him her feelings in the most subtle yet sincere way.
She gave Yun Ye a gift, labeling it in the same way — [For Yun Ye].
For the next year and a half, to avoid her parents’ discovery, Yin Yunyi exchanged postcards with ‘Class 15, Grade 2’ and ‘Class 15, Grade 3’, borrowing ten yuan from her brother countless times. She could sign her real name, while Yun Ye had to keep using the class as a pseudonym.
Yin Yunyi’s grades were slightly lower than Yun Ye’s. They agreed to aim for Xi Ke University together. She stopped traveling with Yin Yucheng during the holidays, focusing all her energy on exam preparation.
Fortunately.
She successfully got into the best university she wished.
She also fulfilled her wish to attend the same university as Yun Ye.
After the college entrance exam, Yin Yunyi honestly told Yin Yucheng that she planned to study the same major at the same school as Yun Ye.
Yin Yucheng, whom she feared might accuse her of being love-struck, just gave his sister a meaningful look. He took a sip of his stimulating soda and said with a hint of melancholy, “I wish I could have a campus romance too.”
Yin Yunyi: “…Brother, you’re already twenty-eight.”
“Does a twenty-eight-year-old man not deserve a campus romance?” Yin Yucheng said wistfully. “Can you ask your little boyfriend to give your brother some advice?”
“We’re not dating yet,” Yin Yunyi immediately retorted.
“But our Yunyi slept on a hospital bench for her little boyfriend,” Yin Yucheng teased. Yin Yunyi blushed but wasn’t afraid to admit, “I was willing to do it.”
She was willing to do many things for Yun Ye, and she knew clearly that Yun Ye would do the same for her.
After receiving the admission letter from Xi Ke University, her family bought Yin Yunyi a phone as a gift.
Every day, Yin Yunyi used this phone to message Yun Ye.
The summer vacation after the college entrance exam was extremely long. Yin Yunyi spent her days in her room previewing college courses. She couldn’t find a reason to ask her parents to let her go to Xifu.
She discovered that the two words she wrote most often on paper were —
[Yun Ye]
[So bored]
She inexplicably connected these two words when reading them, and suddenly, the person far away came to life. Looking at the words she had absent-mindedly written, she couldn’t help but smile.
Maybe he was also bored at home, perhaps thinking of her, wanting to see her.
That day, she received a call from Yun Ye —
“I’m in Nanwu now.”