Can I Touch You?

Xu Sui didn’t know how Zhou Jingze was with others, but he had always been quite gentle with her, polite and maintaining proper distance, but… she hadn’t expected that Zhou Jingze had such a side to him – domineering and forceful, like a fierce fire. His tongue stirred inside, making all of Xu Sui’s limbs go numb, unable to catch her breath.

They kissed for a full three minutes in the ice and snow.

Later, when Zhou Jingze released her, Xu Sui’s legs felt weak.

When skiing officially ended, the group went back to get their things, planning to go to Beishan for barbecue and camping overnight to watch the sunrise the next day.

On the way back, Xu Sui’s heartbeat never settled down. Her mind kept replaying the scene from earlier – Zhou Jingze pressing the back of her head, kissing her until she was almost breathless, her lips gradually pried open, fierce mint flavor flooding her mouth, his scent overwhelming everything.

Xu Sui was completely under his control. She was kissed into a daze, yet her senses were infinitely amplified. Xu Sui felt his slender fingers move forward, his thumb carrying a rough texture, gently caressing the soft flesh behind her ear, causing tremors deep in her heart.

So… this was what it felt like to kiss someone you liked.

The group took a cable car to the mountaintop, everyone divided up tasks and started a pleasant barbecue. Because the weather was extremely cold, as soon as the charcoal was lit, most people quickly moved their small stools to surround the grill for warmth.

Miss Hu sat there warming herself by the fire while complaining about the smoky smell from the charcoal. Sheng Nanzhou suddenly stood up, frowning as he pointed to his spot:

“Let me switch with you, it’s more sheltered from the wind here.”

“Great,” Hu Qianxi stood up and patted his shoulder with a gratified expression, “truly Beijing North City’s number one filial son.”

“…” Sheng Nanzhou.

Xu Sui arrived rather late. Hu Qianxi immediately spotted her precious Suisui and waved: “Suisui, there’s still a spot here.”

A cold wind blew, and Xu Sui pulled her zipper tight, automatically quickening her pace. Hu Qianxi moved aside to make room for Xu Sui to sit down. Her coat was zipped all the way up, revealing only a pair of jet-black round eyes.

She kept her hands in her pockets when a tall, lean shadow moved over and sat down beside Xu Sui. She didn’t need to look up to know it was Zhou Jingze, because she caught the familiar scent of cigarettes on him.

Xu Sui deliberately avoided looking at him, because whenever she thought about what they had secretly done earlier, she would easily blush. She stretched out her hands to warm them by the fire when a pair of well-defined, broad hands covered the back of her hands. Under everyone’s watchful eyes, he intertwined their fingers, warm temperature gradually spreading.

She quickly stole a glance at Zhou Jingze. He held her hand with one of his while casually chewing gum and turning his face to listen to others bragging, a slight smile playing at his lips.

Xu Sui’s hands and feet were always prone to coldness. Afraid of making him cold, she secretly tried to pull away but couldn’t break free. Instead, Zhou Jingze easily clamped down on her finger joints, making it impossible for her to move at all.

Hu Qianxi noticed the couple’s little gestures and started making “ooh” sounds with raised eyebrows.

“Xixi.” Xu Sui instinctively drew out her voice calling her name.

Seeing the plea in her friend’s eyes, Hu Qianxi naturally stopped teasing. The charcoal fire gradually warmed their bodies, making Xu Sui feel a bit breathless. She unzipped her coat that had been pulled up to her chin and took a breath of fresh air.

“Suisui, what happened to your lips? How is there a wound!” Hu Qianxi called out in surprise as if she’d discovered a new continent.

This exclamation drew many people’s attention. Xu Sui’s ears began turning red, not knowing how to explain. Even Zhou Jingze turned his head at the sound, acting as if he completely didn’t remember what beastly thing he had done, looking at her with leisure.

“I… bumped it.” Xu Sui said unnaturally.

After hearing this, Zhou Jingze raised an eyebrow, reached up to turn Xu Sui’s head, his thumb seemingly concerned as it caressed the wound on her lips, obvious mockery in his eyes:

“Is that so? Just happened to bump your lips.”

“Come with me, I have lip balm in my bag. Let me apply some for you.” Hu Qianxi stood up to get her things.

“Okay,” Xu Sui patted Zhou Jingze’s hand, drawing out her voice, “it’s all your fault.”

When Xu Sui returned after applying lip balm, she could already smell the aroma from the barbecue grill. Whether raw or cooked ingredients, anything was manageable when handed to Da Liu.

Da Liu held a bunch of lamb skewers in his left hand and a spice bottle in his right. Yellow flames leaped up as he sprinkled cumin and sesame oil down. The charcoal-grilled meat skewers sizzled, aromatic and appetizing.

“You vote for me, I vote for you, Xinjiang lamb skewer master Xiao Liu will debut tomorrow.” Sheng Nanzhou gave a thumbs up in praise.

Da Liu cursed after hearing this: “Get lost, you’ll be eating bamboo sticks later.”

Outdoor barbecuing was naturally slower. Xu Sui saw them dividing up the washed snow lotus fruit, and being a bit hungry, she reached for one, only to have Zhou Jingze snatch it away.

Xu Sui watched helplessly as Zhou Jingze gave her snow lotus fruit to Sheng Nanzhou, looking at him: “Didn’t you want to eat it just now?”

“Hehe, my bro still loves me most.” Sheng Nanzhou immediately took it and bit into it.

The sound of Sheng Nanzhou crunching the snow lotus fruit was too crisp, making Xu Sui’s mouth water terribly. Combined with being hungry to the point of an empty stomach, she was actually a bit angry inside.

Seeing there was still one last snow lotus fruit left in the basket in front of her, she was about to reach for it when another hand was faster. Zhou Jingze picked up the last snow lotus fruit and began eating it leisurely.

Xu Sui was getting angry now. Zhou Jingze had given what she wanted to eat to someone else, and now his girlfriend was hungry but he couldn’t see it. The more she thought about it, the more wronged she felt. Her eyes stung, and afraid that crying would be too embarrassing, she simply buried her face in her knees and refused to look at him.

Super ultra mega big bad guy.

From the corner of her eye, she glimpsed Zhou Jingze had finished eating a snow lotus fruit and was now washing his hands with water. As he grabbed a tissue and stood up, a section of cigarette ash fell onto the dirt, the firelight dimming.

Xu Sui hugged her knees, hungry until her eyes were a bit red. She sniffled, but soon after, a plate of grilled bread slices appeared before her – golden brown on both sides, coated with a layer of transparent honey, full of milky fragrance.

“Did you grill this?” Xu Sui sniffled.

“Mm,” Zhou Jingze lifted his chin toward her, smiling, “an apology gift for my baby.”

For the sake of food, Xu Sui reluctantly forgave Zhou Jingze. She sat on the small stool seriously eating the bread slices while Zhou Jingze did nothing but watch her eat with puffed cheeks, finding it amusing, like raising a little goldfish.

Seeing honey residue at the corner of her mouth, Zhou Jingze reached up to pinch her chin, his thumb gently wiping away what was at the corner of her mouth. When Sheng Nanzhou saw the small plate of bread slices on Xu Sui’s knees, he was about to reach for one.

Zhou Jingze seemed to have eyes in the back of his head, freeing one hand to give Sheng Nanzhou a slap, saying slowly: “Grill your own. Why are you competing with a little kid for food?”

“…” Sheng Nanzhou got slapped and even had to eat dog food. He looked at Xu Sui seriously eating bread slices, understanding more and more.

Fine, let him eat the snow lotus fruit that would make his stomach cold. Ha, what a great brother.

The sunset slowly descended, spreading like a fiery red fan toward them. Surrounded by snow mountains, a group of people gathered around the barbecue, playing cards and chatting, with laughter occasionally ringing out – it didn’t feel cold at all.

In the middle, Zhou Jingze took a phone call, his expression not looking good, coldness spilling from the corners of his eyes as he mechanically tugged at his lips: “You’ve already decided everything yourself, why are you still asking me?”

After speaking, he hung up the phone. Xu Sui sat next to Zhou Jingze, her hand happened to be in his outer pocket for warmth, gently clasping his hand, her voice soft: “What’s wrong?”

Zhou Jingze’s heart was extremely irritated, but suddenly meeting a pair of clean, calm eyes, his hand that had been feeling for a cigarette box in his pocket unconsciously loosened as he smiled: “Nothing.”

That evening, the warming fire was lit early. Everyone was cooperatively dividing work to set up tents. Hu Qianxi and Xu Sui would sleep together, while Sheng Nanzhou and Zhou Jingze were responsible for setting up their tent.

Miss Hu commanded the two young masters with great skill: “Hey, Uncle, you must set it up securely. What if a corner suddenly collapses in the middle of the night while we’re sleeping?”

“It doesn’t matter if it hits me, but would you bear to have it hit Suisui?”

Zhou Jingze held a cigarette in his mouth, slightly bending down to pick up the crossbar from the ground, skillfully threading the bright yellow tarp along the diagonal, his brow furrowing:

“Can’t bear it.”

“That’s good,” Hu Qianxi’s eyes rolled as she looked at Sheng Nanzhou, her brow unconsciously furrowing, “Student Sheng, it seems your handiwork isn’t very good. When you enter society in the future without any skills, what will you rely on?”

“Collecting rent.” Sheng Nanzhou replied.

“…” Hu Qianxi.

Fine, pretend she didn’t say anything.

Xu Sui was organizing things when she looked back and saw over a dozen sky lanterns floating in the dark blue sky, very beautiful. She called out in surprise: “Xixi, look.”

“Wow, so beautiful. I want to take a picture and send it to Lu Wenbai. I must share such beautiful scenery with him.” Hu Qianxi took out her phone and said to herself.

This moderately loud statement happened to reach Sheng Nanzhou’s ears. He almost poked himself with the pole, his tone seemingly joking: “You’re still thinking about that guy?”

“Of course, I won’t give up until I reach the Yellow River.” Hu Qianxi said with a smile.

Xu Sui shook her head and added: “She’s still dieting recently, for Lu Wenbai.”

Sheng Nanzhou frowned, wanting to say something but stopping short. Finally, he just said: “You should pay attention to your health.”

Hu Qianxi was stunned, then showed a brilliant smile, covering the emotion in her eyes: “Of course, I’m not stupid.”

The group played until eleven o’clock, finally everyone went back to their respective tents to sleep due to physical exhaustion from the day. Xu Sui lay in her sleeping bag, and after arranging her things, her eyelids couldn’t stay open soon after, falling asleep in a daze.

But ultimately she didn’t sleep very peacefully. Xu Sui was always a light sleeper, and being in an unfamiliar place made it worse. She woke up after sleeping for just three hours, with Hu Qianxi’s even, long breathing sounds beside her.

Xu Sui habitually reached for her phone by the pillow, lit up the screen, and saw a message Zhou Jingze had sent half an hour ago:

Zjz: 【Yiyi, asleep yet?】

Xu Sui turned over, typing on the screen: 【Fell asleep, but woke up again. A bit uncomfortable sleeping in a new place.】

ZJZ: 【Then come out and look at the stars.】

【Okay.】

After replying, Xu Sui tiptoed out of bed, threw on a coat, and ran out of the tent. She looked up to see the sky overhead was dark blue with thin clouds and not a single star.

Zhou Jingze was clearly tricking her into coming out.

Xu Sui ran toward the blue tent where Zhou Jingze was sleeping. From a distance, she saw him wearing a black down jacket, sitting by the tent with one leg casually propped on a rock, a cigarette in his mouth, head down cupping fire in his palm, the flame crimson.

Xu Sui had a sudden impulse to scare him, but ended up stumbling and falling forward. Zhou Jingze quickly caught her with one hand while the other quietly extinguished his cigarette.

Her chin happened to hit his thigh, her whole body in a strange position sprawled on the man. Zhou Jingze looked down at her, lazy amusement spilling from his eyes:

“Meeting your boyfriend doesn’t require being quite so proactive.”

Xu Sui struggled up from him, mumbling quietly: “I wasn’t.”

At 2 AM, the two sat shoulder to shoulder. When a cold wind blew, Xu Sui immediately hid in Zhou Jingze’s embrace, her cheek pressed against his broad chest, warm and powerful heartbeats falling by her ear.

Zhou Jingze held her, his well-defined fingers running through her hair, eyes looking into the distance, remaining silent the whole time.

Xu Sui sensed his bad mood and wanted to do something to distract him. She suddenly withdrew from the embrace and said: “Let’s play a game. Whoever loses can ask the other person a question, or if you don’t want to answer, get your forehead flicked.”

“Alright.”

Zhou Jingze got up and went into the tent, coming out with a small folding table under his elbow and something in his hand, smiling: “Just what Sheng Nanzhou stuffed in my bag.”

It was a temple building blocks set – a high tower in precarious balance. They would take turns pulling out one block, and if the block framework remained stable, they won. If a block fell out or it collapsed, they lost.

At the start, Xu Sui carefully pulled out a block from the temple’s center. After extracting it without movement, she exhaled in relief. Compared to Xu Sui’s caution, Zhou Jingze seemed much more casual, pulling out a block that also didn’t move.

They continued playing. Later on, Zhou Jingze pulled out a block and “crack” – another block fell out. Xu Sui’s eyes lit up: “You lost!”

“Ask away.” Zhou Jingze held the block, his tone calm.

Xu Sui thought for a moment and asked a question she’d been curious about for a long time: “Why did you give up studying music in high school to become a pilot?”

Afraid of revealing her thoughts, Xu Sui added: “Everyone’s been curious about this.”

Zhou Jingze was stunned, not expecting her to ask this question, and smiled: “You might be disappointed. I chose flight technology back then just because I had a rebellious streak in my head.”

He squinted, recalling: “I don’t remember exactly what happened in high school, but I was in a fierce fight with my dad during that period. He’s naturally airsick – no matter what business he discussed, he only took high-speed rail or drove, and couldn’t stand anything related to airplanes. To disgust him, I changed my application. At that time, everyone around me, including teachers, opposed it. They thought I was gambling with my future, living too recklessly, except for my grandfather, who had a lifelong love for aircraft.”

So that’s how it was. They continued the game. This time, with a “crack,” a wooden block hit the ground. This time Xu Sui lost, looking somewhat annoyed: “I lost.”

“What do you most dislike people doing to you?” Zhou Jingze asked.

Xu Sui thought for a moment: “I don’t like people lying to me.”

Zhou Jingze was stunned for a moment. The cigarette ash on his fingertip had accumulated into a section, burning his finger. For some reason, he felt a trace of panic in his heart.

“My turn,” Xu Sui waved her five fingers in front of his eyes, trying to bring Zhou Jingze back to attention, “What’s something you find most regrettable?”

“Having the tattoo on the back of my hand removed.” Zhou Jingze’s tone was casual.

Xu Sui remembered the high school Zhou Jingze – whenever he played the cello or played basketball on the court, the tattoo on the back of his hand with English text wrapped around a capital letter Z was always so eye-catching, arrogant and flamboyant.

She silently memorized this sentence from Zhou Jingze. They continued playing. Whenever Xu Sui lost, she let Zhou Jingze flick her forehead, and when he lost, he answered questions.

Xu Sui nervously swallowed, hesitating for a long time before finally gathering courage to ask: “Why did you change girlfriends one after another in high school?”

After asking, she quickly lowered her head, her fingers unconsciously tugging at the corner of her clothes. The mountain wind stilled at this moment. The opposite mountain peak was white, surrounded by complete silence.

Zhou Jingze spoke in the silence, his tone lazy, looking at her with a half-smile: “Playing for so long, you’ve been setting me up all along, little sister.”

“Since… then forget it,” Xu Sui was about to speak when Zhou Jingze’s voice carried a hint of hoarseness: “No particular big reason. After my dad cheated, my mom killed herself by burning charcoal.

“At first it was to oppose my dad, later I felt having company was pretty nice.”

So he loved liveliness, forever playing in noisy places full of wine, women, and debauchery.

Xu Sui didn’t know she had inadvertently touched on Zhou Jingze’s painful matter. She was thinking about what to say when she unconsciously looked up, her expression delighted:

“Look quickly, there are stars!”

He and Xu Sui sat facing each other across a small table. Zhou Jingze turned to look at the sky upon hearing this. The originally dim, black sky showed a small but bright star, followed by one, two, three… seven or eight, more and more stars appeared, instantly lighting up the sky.

“My mom said—”

Zhou Jingze remembered in dreams, his mother was as elegant and beautiful as always. When she left, her voice was gentle:

“When stars appear in the sky, it’s mommy coming to see you.”

Xu Sui often felt Zhou Jingze had many facets – frivolous, smart, proud, yet more mature than his peers. But you’d discover this was just the tip of the iceberg. The sunken part of him was sharp, flamboyant, and sometimes very lonely.

For some reason, Xu Sui was glad for tonight. Her relationship with Zhou Jingze felt real now. He wasn’t the high and mighty Zhou Jingze who didn’t care about anything, always smiling carelessly – he also had a lonely side.

Hearing this sentence, Xu Sui’s eyes instinctively stung. She wasn’t good at comforting people and stammered: “I… will always stay with you.”

The mountain wind blew again with great howling sounds. Zhou Jingze had his back to her, and Xu Sui thought he hadn’t heard, just about to find a topic to move past it when.

Zhou Jingze suddenly turned around, leaning forward. Xu Sui looked up blankly, meeting a pair of deep, dark eyes. He didn’t give the little girl a second to react, leaning down to kiss her.

At this moment, the temple standing on the table collapsed with a crash.

Not knowing if it was because he’d just eaten a mint, powder transferred from his tongue tip. Xu Sui instinctively licked it – cool, with a sweet taste. The remaining bit was drawn back by him, his Adam’s apple slowly swallowing, their flavors indistinguishable.

Xu Sui was kissed breathless. Zhou Jingze’s eyes overflowed with unbearable redness as his lips moved down, sucking at that tender, soft flesh on her neck.

“Baby, you’re so soft.”

“You… don’t say that.” Xu Sui’s face was red enough to drip blood, simply covering her ears with her hands.

The more emotions were invested, the more heart-stirring it became. Zhou Jingze was never a good person to begin with, his voice low, hoarse and desire-laden:

“Can I touch you?”

Although Xu Sui was scared and nervous, she wanted Zhou Jingze to be happy more, so she leaned against his shoulder and gently nodded.

Zhou Jingze sucked at her neck while his well-defined hand lifted her sweater and explored inside. Xu Sui breathed heavily, feeling something hard, like silver, scraping against her skin intermittently, causing waves of trembling.

Only later did she see clearly. Xu Sui opened her eyes wide in disbelief, her voice forced to be broken: “This… isn’t this… the ring I was planning to give to Sheng Nanzhou?”

How was it on his hand? That day when she asked Zhou Jingze if he’d seen her ring, he had shamelessly said no.

Mountain wind blew past as Zhou Jingze pressed against her, licking her ear once, hot breath spraying as his voice was domineering:

“It’s mine now.”