HomeA Love ConfessionChapter 58: Confession - We Can't Let This Interfere With Our Finding...

Chapter 58: Confession – We Can’t Let This Interfere With Our Finding Partners…

After the filming ended, everyone breathed a sigh of relief and shook hands to thank each other, saying “good work.” Wu Fan was responsible for escorting the doctors out.

At 5 PM, the setting sun slanted down, directly illuminating a corner of the base’s perimeter wall, presenting a thin orange-red color. Xu Sui packed up her things and followed them out.

“Xu Sui.” Zhou Jingze suddenly called her name.

Xu Sui stopped and looked back at him. Zhou Jingze raised his hand and tugged at his tie, revealing a section of his throat. His cold, handsome face bore a casual expression as he looked at her:

“Hair tie.”

This person always spoke lazily and concisely. Xu Sui immediately understood—he was asking her to return the hair tie to him. Xu Sui pressed her lips together:

“Didn’t you say you picked it up? Since I used it, it’s mine.”

After speaking, Xu Sui turned and walked away. Zhou Jingze took a long stride and blocked her path in a few steps, lowering his head, his dark eyes fixed on her:

“Yiyi, that’s my thing.”

Xu Sui didn’t understand why he was so obsessed with such an ordinary hair tie. She was about to speak when a voice interrupted them. A flight student ran over breathlessly, wiping sweat from his forehead:

“Instructor Zhou, something’s wrong! A student had an accident!”

Taking advantage of Zhou Jingze being distracted to handle the situation, Xu Sui slipped away.

By the time Zhou Jingze finished dealing with the matter, the base had already returned to its intense training atmosphere. There wasn’t a single doctor in sight, only Da Long remained in the office looking at the photos he had taken.

Zhou Jingze took two cans of carbonated drinks from the refrigerator, tossed one to Da Long, and sat down casually. His index finger hooked the pull tab—”pssh”—and bubbles foamed up.

He took a sip and asked: “Selecting photos?”

“The leadership assigned this task, so I have to do my best.” Da Long spoke in official jargon.

Zhou Jingze put down his drink and lifted his palm: “Let me see.”

Da Long handed him the camera. Zhou Jingze took it, his eyelashes lowering as his thumb continuously pressed the playback button, scanning through them like a horse passing flowers.

When he saw a particular group photo, his gaze lingered: “Send me this photo.”

Da Long took it back to look—it was the doctors’ group photo from earlier. He made an OK gesture and used Bluetooth to transfer it to Zhou Jingze’s phone.

“Instructor Zhou, what do you want the photo for?” Da Long was puzzled.

Zhou Jingze clicked “receive,” staring at the group photo before him. His thumb clicked to crop it, capturing Xu Sui’s quiet, smiling photo. As if talking to himself, he chuckled:

“I need some compensation.”

On the way back, Xu Sui had the foresight to buy a packet of preserved plums at the base convenience store. The car drove along the circular highway, and the sunset on the opposite mountain had completely sunk, leaving only a bit of lingering afterglow.

Her colleague Han Mei happened to be sitting beside her. She nudged Xu Sui’s arm and asked: “Hey, Doctor Xu, what’s your relationship with that captain?”

“I—”

“When we were taking photos earlier, I was standing next to you, and I felt something was off between you two. There was an atmosphere I can’t quite describe,” Han Mei spoke matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me you two have no relationship at all—you can fool anyone but not me, a married woman.”

Xu Sui’s tongue pushed the preserved plum against her right cheek, making it roll to the other side, her cheek muscles feeling sour: “Ex-boyfriend.”

“I knew it! I said he looked at you differently—with entanglement and desire.” Han Mei had watched too many prime-time dramas; these technical terms came naturally to her.

Xu Sui pulled at the corner of her mouth without responding. Seeing she didn’t want to continue, Han Mei turned to watch her TV drama. The car moved slowly forward. She looked out the window and soon raised her hand to pull down the hair tie from behind her head.

She held the hair tie and stared at it for a while. This hair tie was somewhat worn—cream-white satin that shimmered with a pearl-like luster in the sunlight.

If she remembered correctly, this was her hair tie. It should have been left at his place when they were together.

It had been five or six years—why keep it?

Xu Sui turned to look out the window. The rows of trees outside flew backward rapidly, her thoughts drifting. She assumed he had a habit of collecting old things.

—

Xu Sui thought that going to China Aviation Flight Training Base to teach and cooperating with their publicity would end the matter. Who knew the deputy director would come looking for her again, asking her to go to the base once a week to teach flight students for two months total.

“Director, I really can’t get away. Could you find someone else?” Xu Sui declined.

The deputy director put his hands behind his back and said with a smile: “Just go once every Friday afternoon, or we can arrange it according to your schedule. Silly child, I’m reducing your burden this way, so you won’t have to take on everything yourself. It’s good for young people to go out and teach.”

Xu Sui couldn’t express her difficulties, her tone helpless: “I still don’t really want to—”

“It’s settled then.” The deputy director waved his hand, indicating she shouldn’t continue.

Xu Sui had no choice but to grit her teeth and take on this task. That’s how life is—the more you want to escape something, the more you encounter it. Xu Sui eventually had to add Zhou Jingze on WeChat.

After all, he was the instructor and base supervisor. If anything happened, Xu Sui needed to communicate with him first.

After adding Zhou Jingze on WeChat, he didn’t actively bother her but quietly lay in her contact list. After work on Friday, Xu Sui had dinner with colleagues and didn’t get home until after 10 PM.

After washing up at home, Xu Sui got into bed. She left a warm-colored lamp by the bedside and lay on her side, habitually scrolling through WeChat Moments before sleep. Suddenly she saw Zhou Jingze had posted a dynamic video with one word: Worried.

Xu Sui clicked to open it—it was actually 1017, lying on a white table. In the video, Zhou Jingze held a cat toy to tease it, but it wouldn’t move.

It lay there softly, looking very tired with unfocused eyes and no energy.

Xu Sui noticed it was missing a tooth, and the orange fur around its mouth and nose had turned white. Zhou Jingze kept stroking it with his hand while 1017 lay there with closed eyes.

1017 had truly become an old cat.

Zhou Jingze rarely posted updates, so this brought many people out. Xu Sui looked through them one by one, gradually feeling unsettled.

Hu Qianxi: [Poor 1017, wuwuwu when I get back from the African grasslands, the first one I’ll visit is it!]

Z replied: [Heh]

Da Liu: [So pitiful. After my flight, I’ll buy 1017 its favorite canned cat food from before, the most expensive kind.]

Z replied: [Don’t, it can’t eat that anymore.]

Xu Sui was concerned about 1017’s condition and asked: [Is it sick?]

Zhou Jingze quickly replied: [Mm, it’s old, has some heart problems.]

Li Yang actually appeared in the comments too: [Oh, you have a cat too? My friend has a blue and white one, incredibly cute. It recently had kittens—want me to give you one? It could keep your cat company.]

Xu Sui’s previously sad mood was somewhat lightened. Zhou Jingze didn’t reply to him—if it were a close friend, he would definitely have replied with “idiot.”

She still couldn’t accept 1017 being sick, her heart constantly worried about it, tossing and turning unable to sleep. Suddenly, the phone screen on her bedside table lit up.

Xu Sui reached for her phone and lit up the screen—Zhou Jingze had sent a message: [Video call?]

The next second, he added: [To see the cat.]

Xu Sui thought for a moment and typed one word: [OK.]

The other party sent a video call request. Xu Sui accepted, and Zhou Jingze’s chin flashed by, then 1017 appeared in front of the camera, its side facing Xu Sui, staring blankly ahead.

“1017, look who this is?”

A voice came from off-camera, and a hand with distinct bones and prominent veins touched its neck, indicating 1017 should look toward the camera.

1017 reluctantly turned its head. Upon seeing Xu Sui in the camera, its gaze froze for a second. Xu Sui tentatively called its name: “1017.”

The familiar voice awakened the old cat. 1017 made a “meow” sound, like a great lament from its chest cavity. Its previously unfocused pupils lit up as it continuously clawed at the iPad, calling toward the screen.

It had always remembered her.

Xu Sui’s nose stung, nearly bringing her to tears. When she left initially, she had been too decisive. To cut things off cleanly with Zhou Jingze, she hadn’t even wanted 1017.

Actually, she had always been the heartless one.

When she first saw it in the school’s abandoned back garden, it was still so small, meowing with its little milk voice at her. Upon seeing her, it would lick her palm from time to time.

Xu Sui video-called with 1017 for half an hour until it couldn’t hold on anymore, its eyelids drooping as it fell asleep on the table. After the cat fell asleep, Xu Sui hung up the video call.

The next day, when Xu Sui woke up, the sun was just shining on her bedside. She got up and threw the clothes from the dirty laundry basket into the washing machine, then cleaned the entire house inside and out.

Xu Sui shuffled in slippers to the balcony, taking a spray bottle to water the rows of small succulents and some green plants on the balcony. As she was watering, her phone made a “ding” sound, indicating a WeChat message.

Xu Sui set the spray bottle aside and opened WeChat—it was a message from Zhou Jingze.

Z: [I’m taking 1017 to see the doctor this afternoon. Do you want to come along?]

She did want to see 1017, since it was already very old.

Xu Sui typed in the dialog box then deleted it, while the phone showed the other party was typing. Zhou Jingze seemed to sense her hesitation, his tone carrying casual roguishness:

[In broad daylight, you wouldn’t think I’d do anything to you in daylight, would you? If I were going to do anything, it would be at night.]

The other party was typing: [Just to see the cat.]

Xu Sui finally replied: [OK, and I’ll bring pepper spray too.]

Zhou Jingze replied with six dots: [……]

At 4 PM, Zhou Jingze appeared punctually at Xu Sui’s door. The car window was half-lowered, and he spotted Xu Sui immediately, lifting his head to honk the horn.

From a distance, Xu Sui wore a hazy blue shirt dress, revealing a section of fair, lustrous calves. A striped silk scarf tied her hair casually behind her head. Light makeup, delicate eyebrows, and red lips—her temperament was captivating.

When Xu Sui opened the car door, a faint fragrance drifted in. Zhou Jingze stared at her for a moment, his throat dry.

“Where’s the cat?” Seeing him spacing out, Xu Sui furrowed her delicate eyebrows.

Zhou Jingze coughed lightly and raised his chin toward her: “In the pet carrier.”

Xu Sui took the cat from the carrier and held it as she went to the back seat. 1017 was initially uncomfortable lying on Xu Sui’s lap, but later, perhaps recognizing Xu Sui, it vigorously licked her palm and became more lively.

Zhou Jingze started the car. Throughout the entire journey, since Xu Sui held the cat, she continuously played with it and entertained it, treating him like air, as if forgetting his existence.

She didn’t spare him a single glance the entire time.

Even Zhou Jingze had his day of being ignored.

After playing for a short while, 1017, due to its advanced age, fell asleep quickly. Xu Sui held it, and only after the cat fell asleep did she realize the car was terrifyingly quiet.

An awkward atmosphere spread through the air.

Xu Sui noticed Zhou Jingze was still driving the same G-Class. It seemed he had gotten the car repaired. She had mentioned going through procedures before, but no one came looking for her, and Zhou Jingze didn’t hold her accountable for it either.

She felt quite guilty about it.

Xu Sui thought she should at least compensate something and asked: “How much did it cost to repair your car—”

Zhou Jingze, while driving, slowly stated a figure.

Xu Sui immediately fell silent. Zhou Jingze’s distinctly knuckled fingers rested on the steering wheel as he suddenly pressed the accelerator and turned left. He spoke again, his tone casual and unrestrained:

“Tsk, repairing the car spent all the money I’d saved to get married.”

“Which means I indirectly lost a wife.”

Xu Sui didn’t know whether to respond to this or not. After thinking for a long time, she said sincerely: “How about I introduce you to a girlfriend?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Zhou Jingze suddenly slammed on the accelerator. The tires rapidly scraped against the ground with a “screech,” and the car made a sharp, urgent braking sound that was very jarring.

Xu Sui was affected by the inertia, bumping her head against the front seat while holding the cat. 1017 was so startled it almost jumped down.

After the car stopped, Xu Sui rubbed her head and looked outside—they had arrived at the veterinary hospital. She reached to open the car door but found Zhou Jingze had locked it and wasn’t moving.

Zhou Jingze grabbed a cigarette pack from the center console, took out a cigarette and bit it between his lips. He lowered his head to light it, and after the orange-red flame died out, thin gray-white smoke emerged from his lips. His whole body emanated low pressure.

Xu Sui held the cat and said: “Open the door.”

With a “beep,” the car unlocked. Xu Sui reached for the door handle and got out. As she was about to close the car door, Zhou Jingze didn’t look at her. He smoked while staring straight ahead, his face dark. He bit his back molars and smiled: “Xu Sui, you’re really something.”

Introducing girlfriends to ex-boyfriends—she was unique.

Silence was Zhou Jingze’s response as Xu Sui slammed the car door with a “bang.”

Zhou Jingze got out of the car after finishing his cigarette. The two walked up the steps side by side. Zhou Jingze pulled open the glass door to let her enter first. The front desk staff immediately came forward: “Hello, do you have an appointment?”

“Yes,” Zhou Jingze responded.

“Could you please provide your appointment number?” the staff member said.

Zhou Jingze took out his phone and quietly recited a string of numbers. After the staff member entered the phone number into the computer and found the appointment information, she said: “Ah, you two are 1017’s daddy and mommy, right? Please go straight ahead, turn right, and go up to the second floor. The doctor is inside.”

After speaking, the staff member handed over a number plate.

Xu Sui instinctively started to explain: “I’m not—”

“Let’s go in, or we’ll be late.” Zhou Jingze took the number plate and glanced to the left, interrupting her.

A nurse came out to lead them upstairs. Xu Sui had to swallow her explanation and follow behind.

Xu Sui carried 1017 into the veterinarian’s office. The doctor first examined the cat’s heart and other physical conditions, then gave it an IV.

When the needle went into the cat’s neck skin, it flinched and cried out, struggling continuously, clearly resisting the injection. Xu Sui had to gently comfort it: “Be good.”

“Does it hurt, 1017? I’ll blow on it for you in a moment.”

Zhou Jingze looked up and saw Xu Sui’s serene profile, with stray hair falling over her forehead, speaking in gentle, soft tones. His heart suddenly clenched.

It was a scene he hadn’t seen in a long time.

Under her comfort, 1017 gradually relaxed and became incredibly well-behaved in Xu Sui’s arms. After the IV, Xu Sui carefully asked about 1017’s dietary considerations and how to take good care of it.

The doctor patted 1017’s head and said: “When cats get old, they have more ailments. You need to keep them company.”

Zhou Jingze walked over, extended a finger to play with its whiskers, and said: “We will.”

A nurse on the side used wet wipes to clean 1017’s paws and some dirty spots on its face, chatting with them while cleaning: “You’re 1017’s daddy and mommy, right? You look so well-matched and have such a good relationship. Otherwise, this cat wouldn’t have been raised by you for so long…”

Xu Sui knew it was impolite to interrupt people, but she couldn’t listen anymore and interrupted: “We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. He raised this cat by himself.”

The nurse’s movements stopped, looking embarrassed. Zhou Jingze stared fixedly at her. Ignoring the gaze falling on her, Xu Sui smiled at the nurse, her voice gentle: “We can’t let this interfere with our finding partners.”

This was the first time since their reunion that Xu Sui formally expressed her attitude—honest and straightforward.

She was also drawing clear boundaries between them.

Only then did the nurse sense the undercurrent between them. She awkwardly shifted her gaze to the tall man beside them. Zhou Jingze had both hands in his pants pockets, his eyelashes lowered, concealing his emotions, smiling carelessly:

“Listen to her.”

After the cat’s visit, they walked out. Zhou Jingze pointed to a long bench by the corridor, his magnetic voice sounding: “Sit for a while. I’m going to smoke a couple cigarettes.”

Xu Sui nodded and sat down holding the cat. She looked up to see Zhou Jingze walk to the smoking area in the corridor, standing by the window smoking. His back looked cold and silent, and she didn’t know what he was thinking.

He smoked rather fiercely, one after another, his profile sharp like a perfectly cut ice block. Suddenly, a fierce wind blew, and Zhou Jingze bent slightly at the waist, choked by it, coughing violently.

Zhou Jingze raised his hand to close the window. The wind stopped, and he pressed the cigarette butt against the stainless steel trash can lid with a “hiss,” burning it black.

He turned and walked toward Xu Sui, reaching her and saying: “Let’s go.”

When they walked out of the hospital, it was already dark. The walkway was bustling, and lights were on. Zhou Jingze checked the time and asked: “Want to grab dinner?”

“No, I still have materials to organize at home,” Xu Sui shook her head.

Zhou Jingze pulled at the corner of his mouth without speaking. Anyone could tell this was an excuse Xu Sui had made up. He didn’t say anything more, took out his car keys from his pants pocket, and raised his chin:

“Let’s go.”

This time Xu Sui sat in the passenger seat because she would get out first, and 1017 needed to stay beside him so Zhou Jingze could watch it.

The car moved smoothly forward. Zhou Jingze didn’t initiate conversation again, his hand resting on the steering wheel, silently staring ahead. Xu Sui didn’t know what to say either—they drove in silence. Later, finding it boring, she turned on the music.

Finally breaking some of the silence.

After driving for about forty minutes, they arrived at Xu Sui’s door. She let out a long breath—finally here. The atmosphere in the car had been too oppressive.

Xu Sui unbuckled her seatbelt and said: “I’ll head back first. You should rest early too.”

“Xu Sui,” Zhou Jingze suddenly called her name.

“Hmm?” Xu Sui was unbuckling her seatbelt and looked up at him, her clear eyes showing confusion.

Zhou Jingze played with a silver lighter in his hand. The lighter clicked with a “snap,” and flames shot up, the black mole on his tiger’s mouth looking both restrained and alluring.

The firelight flickered on and off as he lowered his eyes, not knowing what he was thinking.

The car stereo was turned up loud, and Sun Yanzi was singing:

“Pride often drags people along, making love become complicated.”

With a “snap,” the flame died out, and he put the lighter back on the center console. Cars roared past one after another around them, their taillights blinking on and off, bright and dim.

Zhou Jingze’s face was half-hidden in shadow, the car interior completely dark. Xu Sui couldn’t see his expression clearly, only hearing him cough involuntarily. Due to smoking several cigarettes earlier, when he spoke, his voice was hoarse and scratchy. He pulled at the corner of his mouth, closed his eyes, seemingly compromising:

“I miss you, for a long time now.”

Xu Sui was stunned, her dark eyelashes trembling as she leaned back against the chair and looked toward the one-way street outside the window. Cars drove by one after another, then disappeared into the night, as if they never looked back.

Zhou Jingze, with his proud personality, actually said he missed her on some day after their reunion. It must be true—after all, when they were together, her feelings for him had been genuine and wholehearted, and the tenderness in his eyes had been real too.

Xu Sui looked ahead and asked him: “Do you remember that soccer match we bet on? I randomly picked someone, and he actually beat Neymar, who had been first for years.”

Zhou Jingze remembered. He had lost and ended up changing his WeChat signature to a dash. His voice was hoarse: “I remember.”

Xu Sui turned her head to look at him: “Number 16 won. At that time, I said something: ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way.'”

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, but love isn’t like that.”

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