Xu Sui really hadn’t expected Zhou Jingze to pursue her. That night when she went home to sleep, she suffered from insomnia, tossing and turning all night with the same recurring dream.
In the dream, Xu Sui was trapped in thick fog and couldn’t find her way out. Worse yet, she walked through the entire night in the dream, so when she woke up the next day, her eyes were swollen.
After washing up, Xu Sui opened the refrigerator, took some ice cubes wrapped in a dry towel to compress her eyes. After reducing the swelling, she applied simple foundation and was about to leave when Zhou Jingze sent a message:
[It might rain today, bring an umbrella.]
From then on, Zhou Jingze became like a weather forecast, punctually reminding her daily to dress warmly and not forget to bring things when going out. Xu Sui would occasionally respond, sometimes politely adding:
[You too.]
Zhou Jingze contacted her every day, actively sending messages, occasionally sharing his daily training at the base, or asking what she was doing.
Xu Sui’s responses were relatively brief, but Zhou Jingze had the ability to revive conversations that were about to end, making people unconsciously chat with him for half an hour.
Friday, after getting off work, Xu Sui dragged her exhausted body home. She hadn’t even eaten yet and just wanted to take a bath to relax. Perhaps because she’d worked continuously for a week and was overly tired, and the hot water relaxed her nerves, she actually fell asleep leaning against the bathtub.
At eleven PM, her phone on the side rang urgently. Seeing it was from the hospital, she rubbed her face, answered with a somewhat dazed voice, and after they explained the situation, Xu Sui immediately got up, changed clothes, and before leaving hurriedly splashed cold water on her face to stay alert.
This was the consciousness of a doctor being on call 24 hours.
The hospital called about a drunk driving accident on Changdong Road with too many injured. Xu Sui didn’t even bring her bag, just put on shoes and ran out.
Back at the hospital, Xu Sui and several colleagues worked in the operating room until the early morning. Xu Sui stepped on the operating room’s sensor door to exit, walked to the sterilization room, pressed the white hand sanitizer, turned on the faucet as water gushed out washing away white foam.
She didn’t feel anything while busy, but after finishing, hunger swept through her entire body, her stomach growling at this moment.
A colleague washing hands nearby heard it, turned off the faucet and said: “I’m so hungry too. Should we go to the 24-hour convenience store outside to see if there’s any oden left?”
Xu Sui glanced at the time and smiled wryly: “I forgot to eat dinner tonight. At this hour, the oden is probably sold out too.”
“Let’s go see. Even buying a sandwich to fill our stomachs would be good,” the colleague pulled out a tissue to dry hands, walking out while saying: “Xu Sui, let’s go together later. Wait for me a moment, I’ll go check on my patient first.”
“Okay.” Xu Sui nodded.
Xu Sui walked out, and while passing through the hospital corridor, she casually glanced outside and stopped.
So she walked to the window and looked out.
The entire city was shrouded in milky white mist, completely silent except for occasional cars whooshing past. The sky was a crystalline blue, that kind of blurred blue like frosted window glass. At this moment, the tall magnolia tree downstairs actually had both the moon and sun hanging on it, radiating soft light.
There was a kind of serene beauty.
Xu Sui raised her hand to take a photo, then shared it on social media with the caption: Strange.
Soon, Hu Qianxi from overseas came to comment: [Sui baby, it should be midnight on your side, why aren’t you sleeping yet?]
Xu Sui replied: Overtime, adding a crying emoji afterwards.
After replying, Xu Sui put her phone back in her pocket and walked toward the ward, planning to observe the patient’s vital signs before going out.
Fifteen minutes later, Xu Sui returned to the office, drank some water, took her coat from the rack, and planned to go out with several colleagues to eat something.
The group walked out of the hospital building. As the revolving glass door opened, a bone-chilling cold wind blew, and Xu Sui instinctively hugged her coat tighter.
“It’s so cold.” The colleague shrugged her shoulders.
Xu Sui had barely taken two steps from the hospital building when her phone in her pocket rang – an unfamiliar number.
“Hello.” Xu Sui answered.
“Hello, Ms. Xu, your food delivery has arrived. I don’t know where you are exactly. I’m currently at the outpatient department.”
Food delivery? She hadn’t ordered any. Xu Sui was puzzled, holding her phone to her ear: “I’m at the inpatient department now. Turn right and come over, it’s very close.”
In less than five minutes, a person in delivery uniform with a large insulated box on his right arm walked over.
“Ms. Xu, your same-city delivery flash order, please sign for it.”
Xu Sui took it with a puzzled expression, looking at the label – this was way too much, clearly enough for several people.
She turned to her colleague and said: “Seems like someone ordered food delivery for me, quite a lot. Let’s all eat together, no need to go out.”
“We have portions too!” the colleague laughed.
“Everyone does.”
The group returned to the hospital’s break room.
“Pop” – Xu Sui turned on the wall light, filling the room with warmth.
Xu Sui took off her coat while colleagues unpacked the takeout. The brown paper bags had the Nanyuan Restaurant logo. Opening them revealed exquisite homestyle dishes, still fragrant.
“Xu Sui, your friend is really generous, and doesn’t Nanyuan Restaurant not do delivery?”
“Oh my, so thoughtful, there’s even hot cocoa.” The colleague took it out from another paper bag.
“Thanks to Dr. Xu for letting us eat something delicious!” Nurse He said with a smile.
“That saves me from making water.” Xu Sui walked over with both hands in her white coat pockets, smiling.
She sat on the sofa, took the chopsticks handed to her by a colleague, her dark eyelashes lowering as she wondered who had ordered the takeout for her.
At first Xu Sui thought of Hu Qianxi, but then realized she was abroad – how could she order for her?
That left only one person.
Xu Sui took out her phone and messaged Zhou Jingze: [Did you order the takeout?]
Soon the screen lit up, Zhou Jingze replied: [Mm.]
[Why aren’t you sleeping at this hour? Also, how did you know I was at the hospital?] Xu Sui asked.
Every time Zhou Jingze’s perfectly timed care and concern made Xu Sui wonder if he had secretly installed an invisible GPS tracker on her.
Otherwise, why were all her movements under his control?
After a while, Zhou Jingze replied with his usual brevity: [Woken up by 1017 in the middle of the night, saw your social media post.]
You could feel his sleepy state between the lines.
Zhou Jingze was indeed thoughtful, handling things carefully and attentively. Not only did he order takeout for her in the middle of the night, he even paid for her colleagues’ portions too.
Xu Sui held her chopsticks, her right hand gripping her phone about to type “thank you” when the man sent another message:
[There’s a little something in the brown paper bag, I had the restaurant include it.]
Xu Sui put down her chopsticks and turned to get the brown paper bag from the small table on her right.
The bag was large and seemed bottomless.
It looked like there was nothing there.
Xu Sui held the bag and shook it carelessly. “Pop” – two strawberry candies fell out, landing in her palm.
The phone screen on the table happened to light up at this moment with Zhou Jingze’s message:
[Just for you.]
The four words “just for you” acted like a catalyst, making the bubbles that had already risen in her heart slowly grow larger, filling up, floating around in the air.
There was a slightly dizzy feeling, as if the air had taken on a hint of sweetness.
Was he trying to make her happy?
It was just the new week in November, with a dramatic temperature drop. Xu Sui changed from two layers to three layers of clothing, fully armed with scarf and gloves for work.
During lunch break, Xu Sui was holding a cup, walking into the rest room, about to take instant coffee from the cabinet when a shadow approached. Someone held up a cup of fragrant coffee and handed it to her.
Xu Sui looked up – it was her colleague Zhao Shu’er.
“Dr. Xu, drink mine! Just brewed.” Zhao Shu’er looked at her with a smile.
Xu Sui dubiously took the coffee she’d made and asked: “What do you need?”
“Hehe, I remember you’re not on duty tonight, right? Come with me on a blind date tonight.”
Xu Sui was drinking coffee when she choked upon hearing this, then couldn’t stop coughing, tears coming to her eyes. Seeing this, Zhao Shu’er immediately patted her back, asking anxiously “What’s wrong?”
Blind date… she had trauma from those two words.
Whether it was bad luck or what, Xu Sui had encountered all sorts of strange men on blind dates, making her very resistant to them.
“I don’t really want to go.” Xu Sui handed the coffee back to her.
“I’m not asking you to go on the date!” Zhao Shu’er linked arms with her, her tone chiding: “I’m asking you to accompany me.”
Zhao Shu’er was over two years older than Xu Sui, 30 this year, perpetually single, very enthusiastic about blind dates but very picky – matchmakers were afraid of her.
This time, because the man’s conditions were quite good and he said he’d bring a friend, Zhao Shu’er took it seriously and didn’t want to be embarrassed alone, so she wanted to bring someone along.
After thinking it over, she thought of Xu Sui.
Xu Sui was good-tempered and gentle, perfect as a quiet companion.
“Just come with me, think of it as having a cup of coffee. I just need someone to accompany me.” Zhao Shu’er rested her chin on her shoulder, constantly acting cute.
After Zhao Shu’er’s persistent coaxing, Xu Sui finally couldn’t resist her pleading and agreed.
“Honestly, if you two hit it off and the atmosphere gets right, I’m leaving.” Xu Sui emphasized.
“Good! Wuu wuu wuu, Dr. Xu I’m almost in love with you, how can there be such a considerate girl!” Zhao Shu’er looked deeply moved.
Xu Sui smiled and patted her arm: “Alright, I’m going to nap now, I still have to work this afternoon.”
At six PM, after getting off work, Xu Sui tidied up and got in Zhao Shu’er’s car. Sitting in the passenger seat, Xu Sui received a message from Liang Shuang asking her to come out for dinner and shopping.
Xu Sui typed and sent in the chat box: [Not going, I’m accompanying my colleague on a blind date.]
[Fine wuu wuu wuu wuu, everyone in the world has men to accompany them except me.] Liang Shuang complained.
Xu Sui: [Next time I’ll pay more attention to the handsome and good-natured doctors at our hospital.]
[No no, don’t want someone in the same field.] Liang Shuang sent a cross emoji.
After about forty minutes, the car arrived at a restaurant. Zhao Shu’er had Xu Sui get out first while she went to park in the underground garage.
The roadside was bustling with people. Xu Sui stood by the road waiting for a while before Zhao Shu’er walked over, and they entered the restaurant together.
The other party had arrived early. Zhao Shu’er waved enthusiastically.
The man stood up and smiled: “Hello, I’m Mr. Yuan. Which one is Miss Zhao?”
“That would be me!” Zhao Shu’er replied playfully.
“Good, please sit.” He made a welcoming gesture and smiled.
Xu Sui looked at the man sitting across from them – Zhao Shu’er’s blind date, Mr. Yuan. He looked decent, worked in investment banking, and his every gesture revealed the refined air of capital.
“My friend couldn’t make it at the last minute,” Mr. Yuan explained. He waved to the waiter for two menus, asking: “What would you like to eat?”
Xu Sui only ordered a lemon water and sat there quietly.
Zhao Shu’er was obviously very satisfied with this blind date, but afraid her straightforward personality would scare him away, she restrained herself and made awkward conversation.
Zhao Shu’er was the main character. Xu Sui sat to the side trying to minimize her presence. She wanted to play with her phone but thought it would be rude, so she could only look out at the fountain plaza, counting the pigeons fluttering back and forth to pass time.
Whether it was Xu Sui’s imagination or not, she always felt Mr. Yuan’s gaze occasionally fell on her.
He kept steering the conversation toward Xu Sui, asking: “Does Miss Xu like desserts?”
Xu Sui came back to attention, tapping her glass with her fingers, smiling: “Just okay. I remember Shu Shu really likes desserts, especially that Laofang Ji place. Mr. Yuan could buy some for her.”
“See? My girl is taking notes for you.” Zhao Shu’er said.
Mr. Yuan quickly responded “definitely,” though an awkward expression flashed across his smiling face.
Zhou Jingze had just driven back from the suburban base, having attended classes all day, his sharp face showing a trace of fatigue. Worse yet, Sheng Nanzhou was dozing off in the passenger seat.
He had come to the suburban base today as a shareholder of the airline company, ostensibly for inspection but actually to find Zhou Jingze to hang out.
Result was Sheng Nanzhou getting confused and being ordered around by Zhou Jingze to work at the training ground. Perhaps from being dominated by him too many times since childhood, Sheng Nanzhou instinctively followed Zhou Jingze’s orders.
Halfway through he realized something was wrong.
Damn, slave for life, servant forever.
In the end, Sheng Nanzhou exhausted himself half to death.
The car stereo was slowly playing Chopin’s Nocturne in C minor, the sound flowing and moving. Zhou Jingze steered with one hand, his slender fingers reaching for mints on the center console, unwrapping the candy paper and popping it in his mouth.
He didn’t expect to encounter Liang Shuang halfway. She stood by the roadside looking frustrated.
Zhou Jingze squinted over – it seemed her car had broken down.
He raised his hand to turn off the stereo. When passing Liang Shuang’s red car, he suddenly stepped on the brakes. The car made a sharp braking sound and stopped.
Sheng Nanzhou’s head jerked forward uncontrollably then bounced back. He woke from his dream in panic: “Earthquake?”
Zhou Jingze gave him a “figure it out yourself, idiot” look, unlocked with a “click” and got out.
Liang Shuang was anxiously frustrated when a calm voice interjected: “Car broke down?”
Turning around, it was actually Zhou Jingze. Liang Shuang nodded: “Seriously, the towing company is still busy and unreachable.”
Zhou Jingze chewed his mint, walked over, lifted the hood, his tone casual: “Let me see.”
He raised his hand to fiddle with something under the hood, holding a wire, checking while asking: “How come you’re alone? Where’s Xu Sui?”
“I wanted to ask her to dinner, but she went on a blind date.” Liang Shuang replied, deliberately adding this.
Zhou Jingze’s fingertips holding the wire paused for half a second. His tongue pushed the mint to his back teeth, crunching it loudly, his eyelashes lowering to cast faint shadows.
“Where?” Zhou Jingze’s voice was heavy, suppressing emotion.
“Seems like 1987.”
At this moment, Sheng Nanzhou jumped out and walked over: “What’s wrong with this car?”
Zhou Jingze pulled Sheng Nanzhou over and patted his shoulder: “Bro, help handle this.”
“Got something to do, leaving first.”
Before Sheng Nanzhou could react, Zhou Jingze drove the black G-Wagon whooshing past him, leaving him with a face full of exhaust.
“Zhou Jingze, you damn well left me stranded in the middle of nowhere?????” Sheng Nanzhou was furious.
Zhao Shu’er’s conversation with her blind date was going fairly well. She went to the restroom midway, leaving only Mr. Yuan and Xu Sui sitting face to face.
Mr. Yuan initiated conversation: “How old is Miss Xu?”
“What hobbies do you have usually?” Xu Sui frowned – she was just an accompaniment, why was he suddenly asking about her?
Just as she was about to speak, a lazy voice interjected:
“Xu Sui, two months shy of 28, birthday December 24th.”
“Height 165cm.”
“Not picky with food, eats everything, like a cat, easy to care for, but allergic to mangoes.”
“Hobbies – watching horror movies, playing games.”
Xu Sui’s heart constricted. Both turned to look in the direction of the voice.
Zhou Jingze wore a black parka, broad shoulders, his jawline sharp and casual, one hand in his pocket as he slowly walked toward them.
A crisp mint scent approached. Zhou Jingze pulled over a chair and sat down, placing his lighter on the table with a “pop,” lifting his eyelids to stare at him.
Mr. Yuan was startled.
Zhou Jingze raised an eyebrow, his tone leisurely with an intimate undertone: “I won’t report her bra size to you though.”
One sentence established their intimate relationship and domineeringly declared ownership.
This was indeed Zhou Jingze’s style.
“Zhou Jingze!” Xu Sui’s face turned red instantly, her voice becoming flustered and angry.
She pushed Zhou Jingze’s arm to stand up, grabbed her bag from the table, and nodded apologetically to Mr. Yuan: “Sorry, Mr. Yuan, I have something to attend to.”
Xu Sui pushed Zhou Jingze outside. They walked out and stood at the intersection on the left.
“Are you insane?” Xu Sui frowned.
Zhou Jingze gripped her arm, his dark pupils suppressing hostility, his voice heavy: “And you? Wanting to find another man? In your dreams!”
A cold wind blew. Though Zhou Jingze was angry, he instinctively blocked the wind for her.
“I didn’t. I didn’t want to come on a blind date. Every time I go on blind dates I meet weird people. This time I was just accompanying my colleague.” Xu Sui was helpless.
Who knew Zhou Jingze would burst out halfway – he was such a rogue, actually saying such embarrassing things in public. Just thinking about it made her face burn.
Zhou Jingze’s expression softened slightly. He nodded and, acting as if nothing happened, naturally took her wrist and walked toward the car.
“Where are we going?” Xu Sui asked.
“Since you’re not being honest,” Zhou Jingze snorted coldly, his tongue pressing against his cheek, his tone roguish, “I’ve intercepted you, might as well go on a date.”
Xu Sui looked at the hand gripping her wrist, her eyelashes lifting: “Did I agree to this?”
Zhou Jingze’s footsteps paused, his tone slow: “If you don’t agree, I’ll go back and beat him up.”
Xu Sui: “…”
Zhou Jingze brought Xu Sui to the cinema. Looking at the screen, he turned to ask what movie she wanted to see: “Romance or action?”
The last three words carried some suggestive, teasing meaning.
Xu Sui replied: “Horror.”
Fine. Zhou Jingze bought two tickets and was about to enter with Xu Sui when he glanced at passing couples – boyfriends all carried popcorn and cokes while girlfriends smiled happily.
Zhou Jingze paused, handed her the tickets: “Hold these, I’ll buy snacks.”
Finally, Zhou Jingze walked into Theater C with an extra-large popcorn and two cokes.
The timing wasn’t great, plus horror movies had a small market – tonight they had the entire theater to themselves.
Just as they sat down, Xu Sui’s phone rang. When she took it out, Zhou Jingze glanced at it – Li Yang.
“Hello.” Xu Sui’s voice was gentle.
“Sweetheart, I’m feeling terrible right now, are you at the hospital…”
Li Yang’s voice came through the phone intermittently. Zhou Jingze couldn’t hear clearly, but it seemed like something was wrong and he wanted Xu Sui to come over.
“Okay, I’ll come right away.” Xu Sui’s tone was worried.
After hanging up, Xu Sui placed her coke by the armrest and stood to leave, her tone anxious: “Li Yang has acute appendicitis. He needs someone to take care of him. I have to rush over. Let’s watch the movie another time.”
As she was about to leave, Zhou Jingze reached out and grabbed Xu Sui’s wrist, his thumb and forefinger encircling her slender arm, tightening as he asked: “The movie’s about to start. Can’t you finish watching before leaving?”
Seeing her worried expression, Zhou Jingze spoke logically, word by word: “Li Yang has so many friends, he definitely didn’t just call you. If you’re really worried, I’ll go with you after the movie.”
Xu Sui shook her head and pulled away his hand: “Sorry, I really have to go.”
After saying this, Xu Sui left.
Light flickered, leaving Zhou Jingze alone in the entire theater. Time flowed slowly, so quiet there was only the boring dialogue of the protagonist on screen.
Zhou Jingze leaned back in the red seat, looking up at the blue coke standing on the right armrest.
The blue coke stood there quietly, small water droplets on the cup wall, the straw placed beside it.
It hadn’t had time to have the straw inserted by Xu Sui before being abandoned.
Zhou Jingze sat there, his thoughts in a daze. Although Li Yang was a friend, the feeling in his heart was still uncomfortable, like a thin thread strangling his heart, making it hard to breathe.
Suddenly, he finally understood what Xu Sui must have felt back then.
When she was left behind and he rushed to find Ye Saining, it must have been this same feeling.
Not being someone’s first choice was indeed disappointing.
Suddenly, a parent with a child entered through the front door – probably late moviegoers. Their seats were also in Zhou Jingze’s row, at the very inside.
The adult bent down leading the child in. When passing Zhou Jingze’s seat, the child looked longingly and enviously at the large bucket of popcorn in his hands.
“It’s yours.” Zhou Jingze lowered his dark eyelashes and handed over the popcorn.
After saying this, he stood up, turned sideways out of his seat, step by step walking down the stairs, leaving the cinema.
No one would eat it anyway.

finally his feelings what he felt