In midsummer, Ye Saining finished shooting for one of the four major domestic women’s magazines during the day and had to attend a brand gala in the evening.

The dressing room was in chaos, bustling with activity. More than a dozen staff members were all revolving around this big star. Mi Jia held her phone between her shoulder and ear while taking a call, holding a Valentino latest black gown in one hand as she quietly asked Ye Saining if she liked it.

The makeup artist accidentally tugged on one of her hairs. Pain shot through her, and Ye Saining frowned like a crack appearing in an oil painting beauty.

The makeup artist repeatedly apologized: “Sorry baby, did I hurt you?”

Ye Saining ignored her, only glancing at the backless black dress in Mi Jia’s hand before looking away and holding up one finger.

Mi Jia immediately understood and rolled away to get her new clothes.

They changed through over a dozen outfits.

Ye Saining finally took a liking to a dark red velvet deep V-neck gown.

After changing clothes and finishing her styling, Ye Saining lifted her skirt hem to attend the gala.

The banquet was filled with fragrant clothes and beautiful hair, diamond chandeliers casting flowing light on wine glasses. Everyone wore gorgeous attire with hypocritical smiles plastered on their faces, like ghosts walking in the night.

Ye Saining suddenly felt very exhausted in that moment.

So she capriciously ditched the brand’s speaking engagement and slipped away.

In the RV, Ye Saining kicked off her ten-centimeter crystal high heels, revealing her slender white ankles. She leaned back in the rear seat with her eyes closed, raven-feather eyelashes drooping as light from outside swept across her half-parted red lips.

Breathtakingly beautiful.

Her phone chimed crisply in the boundless silent night.

Her scarlet-painted nails touched the phone, lighting up the screen. A friend had sent a message – a very brief sentence:

Filone, he got married.

In that moment, her heart was seized by someone. Ye Saining felt like she was being pressed underwater, surrounded only by gurgling bubble sounds, her breath stolen inch by inch. She wanted to struggle but couldn’t.

“Stop the car,” Ye Saining said.

“You go ahead. I’m getting out to walk around,” Ye Saining said.

Before the male assistant could start nagging, Ye Saining quickly got out of the car. “Bang” – the door slammed thunderously shut, and she even gave them the middle finger.

That swaying dark red velvet hem disappeared into the night.

Ye Saining wandered aimlessly on the street. Walking and walking, she actually found herself in front of an aquarium.

Unfortunately, the lights were off and the owner had long since closed.

Ye Saining lifted her skirt hem and walked up, stubbornly knocking on the rolling shutter door.

The blue rolling shutter made banging sounds, dust falling down and brushing against her exquisite face.

Like pearls covered in dust.

Ye Saining simply sat on the steps in front of the aquarium, not caring about the wet ground from the evening rain.

A seven-figure dress was thus ruined, and she didn’t even blink.

Ye Saining took out a cigarette from her pack, her red lips holding it as the lighter clicked once, igniting. The orange-red flame illuminated her profile.

She slowly exhaled gray-white smoke.

Beautiful yet languid.

Perhaps it was because the night was too quiet, or because she was sitting in front of an aquarium, having just received news of his marriage fifteen minutes ago.

Ye Saining suddenly remembered many past events.

Who would have thought that the sought-after female celebrity, wearing a red dress and completely disregarding her image, was now sitting on dusty steps in front of a small alley, reminiscing about someone.

Ye Saining had known since childhood that she was very beautiful, and knew even better what she wanted.

Her birth was rotten and downward, and though she drew bad cards, she knew she could choose how to play them to make them ring out.

Beauty could be monetized, but it wasn’t a long-term plan.

So Ye Saining had always worked as a server selling drinks at entertainment venues. She wanted to save money to study abroad, to escape her alcoholic gambling father, to flee the inescapable dysfunctional family.

She wandered daily between the damp, cold attic and the neon-lit bar, her hope always dim.

Until she met Zhou Jingze.

Ye Saining’s help for him wasn’t due to some sudden impulse or inherent kindness.

The reason she could stay at the bar so long was because her personality was such that even if someone had a bloody fight right in front of her, splashing blood on her face, she would just choose to wipe the blood clean and continue working.

Minding her own business had always been her survival rule.

Ye Saining’s willingness to help Zhou Jingze was entirely due to another matter.

The place Ye Saining rented was in a poor district. After work, she had to sidle through alleys, overhead clotheslines like shark teeth constantly dripping water, soaking her back.

There was always someone drunk as a skunk sitting in wall corners, eyeing you lewdly and whistling.

On weekends when Ye Saining got off her late shift, her drunk neighbor would bang on her door in the middle of the night, speaking filthy obscenities.

The water pipes suddenly stopped producing hot water. After taking a cold shower, Ye Saining came out shivering so badly that even her smoking hand trembled.

The knocking and cursing outside continued – this harassment wasn’t just once or twice.

That wooden door couldn’t hold much longer. The door panel was pulled open with huge gaps, night wind pouring in, demons ready to enter at any moment.

Being a girl after all, Ye Saining was still afraid. She got up, took a bottle of Wusu from the fridge, and drank half of it as if to bolster her courage.

“Bang” – the window crashed open, a pale hand reaching out, orange light stickily coating the hand.

Ye Saining extended her index finger and crooked it upward.

Silent seduction.

The drunk man swallowed saliva with difficulty, staggering against the wall as he approached.

His hand had just touched those tender fingertips, his head lowering to sniff hard at the girl’s sweet fragrance.

Before he could savor it, a green bottle smashed down.

“Crash” – the bottle shattered, blood continuously dripping from his forehead.

Finally, the drunk man ran away screaming while holding his head.

After he left, Ye Saining slid down the wall to sit on the ground.

Her back was covered in cold sweat.

This place was no longer livable. Ye Saining decided to move.

After moving away, Ye Saining still felt unsettled and asked people to inquire, but no one had definite news.

Someone said he got several stitches in his head; someone else said he became an idiot.

Ye Saining believed in karma, but she didn’t regret it. To offset some guilt in her heart, she reached out to save Zhou Jingze.

Ye Saining saved someone just wanting to do a good deed to offset her bad deed.

But she hadn’t expected Zhou Jingze to come apologize in person.

After all, Zhou Jingze was a regular at the bar – very handsome, the type that appealed to both men and women, a super rich second-generation kid, reportedly with family background.

But he was also wild.

Mixed up with people like Peng Zi – not one good person among them.

Just the night before, Ye Saining had inadvertently witnessed Zhou Jingze leading a group fighting in the back alley behind the bar.

Zhou Jingze wore a black hoodie, his features sharp, blood on his high brow bone. He stepped on the throat of someone lying on the ground, the victim continuously rolling his eyes back and making hoarse screams.

When the victim’s screams reached maximum pain, Zhou Jingze would lift his foot to reduce pressure. Just when the victim thought he might be saved, the foot would stomp down heavily again.

Repeated torture.

Hearing those wails, he didn’t even blink, casually lighting a cigarette.

The lighter made a “snap,” orange-red flame jumping from his tiger’s mouth. He lowered his head to light it, and as he exhaled gray-white smoke, he casually lifted his eyelids to scan the street entrance.

Ye Saining happened to look over.

Zhou Jingze wore a black hooded sweatshirt, his hood up, his cold face half-hidden in shadow, cut in half by the dim streetlight. Only a pair of deep, dark eyes were visible – cold and broken.

Like an abyss.

She saw a vicious, self-struggling, cornered beast.

She hadn’t expected such a person would apologize.

Ye Saining didn’t take it to heart. Later when she was fired, she had no objections either. After all, she had broken rules first.

But she hadn’t expected Peng Zi to have people beat her up.

When Zhou Jingze came looking for her again, she was serving plates at a barbecue stall. He apologized again, talking about compensation.

Ye Saining was getting a bit annoyed then, plus her wounds still ached faintly. She directly extorted him, saying: “If you want to apologize so badly, how about sending me to study in England?”

Zhou Jingze was stunned, then said okay.

Ye Saining never dreamed she would climb up to someone like Zhou Jingze, such a favored son of heaven.

He rescued her from the mud.

Preparing to go abroad would take time. Ye Saining spent an entire summer hanging around with Zhou Jingze. He took her skiing, racing, gambling, lingering in various places of entertainment.

Being with him broadened Ye Saining’s horizons.

So life wasn’t just endless wine glasses to clean and endless work.

Spending time together, Ye Saining came to understand this person. On the surface dissolute and improper, like a complete playboy, but he was still different.

He leaned over the pool table, eyes sharp as an eagle’s, “bang” – sinking a ball in one shot, warm ceiling lights lingering on his eyelashes, sometimes a lazy yet roguish smile hanging on his face.

Or racing on Gong Mountain at midnight. When he took first place and everyone congratulated him, Zhou Jingze arrogantly gave the losing side the middle finger, his eyes flying with frank boldness.

Or when Zhou Jingze picked up a stray cat in the rain, afraid it would get wet, taking off his jacket to drape over the small animal, fleeting tenderness overflowing from his narrow eyes.

In that moment, she thought this boy was truly handsome – handsome from his bones.

But it was limited to just favorable feelings.

Zhou Jingze was proud, and she was proud too, so Ye Saining would never surrender first to express her feelings.

She had always waited for others to pursue her.

That summer passed happily and freely, so much so that Ye Saining forgot about her father lurking like a tiger.

Ye’s father went around saying Ye Saining had climbed up to the Zhou family, would live a life of luxury from now on, and would buy him luxury cars and big houses.

Ye Saining coldly replied with two words: “Dream on.”

But she hadn’t expected Ye’s father to find Zhou Jingze to extort and blackmail him.

Ye’s father revealed his ugly face: “Her mother came from a brothel? Hehe, you can also—”

“And…”

Ye Saining didn’t know what else her father said. By the time she found out, it was too late.

When she went to find Zhou Jingze, he was at the pool hall playing with a group of people.

Her father had just left.

With too many friends around, Zhou Jingze was afraid their comments would hurt Ye Saining, so he put down his cue and came out.

Ye Saining was watching fish at the neighboring aquarium. On both sides were square blue glass tanks with many butterfly fish, pufferfish, and angelfish swimming freely.

Until a shadow fell beside her.

“Sorry for letting you see such an embarrassing side of me—” Ye Saining’s naturally upturned eyelashes trembled as she smiled self-mockingly.

Her father’s sudden appearance yanked Ye Saining out of her dream, reminding her of her lowly and dirty origins, her deformed family she could never escape, her destined dark life.

She could never be connected to someone like Zhou Jingze.

Zhou Jingze interrupted her, taking the cigarette from his mouth and asking: “When you do things or make decisions, are you unconsciously influenced by your father?”

“No.” Ye Saining was stunned but still answered.

Children from bad environments spend their whole lives trying to escape their families of origin, yet subtly become like them – quick-tempered, loudly interrupting others, showing ugly faces, being mean.

Whenever Ye Saining noticed any behavior resembling her parents, she would write it down in a notebook, secretly reminding and correcting herself.

Don’t become like them.

“Then that’s settled. Besides your names being next to each other on the household register, in all other aspects, he neither influences nor hinders you.” Zhou Jingze’s tone was slow and logical.

“You are you, he is he.” Zhou Jingze looked at her and said.

These two sentences were like someone parting the dark clouds, light suddenly shining in. Ye Saining suddenly felt enlightened. She looked up, showing a smile: “Than—”

Before she could finish saying thank you, Zhou Jingze suddenly reached up to her head, pressing her into the aquarium tank. At first she struggled hard, but then he also buried his head in the aquarium.

They both knew each other’s swimming abilities.

“Close your eyes, ten seconds,” Zhou Jingze said.

That day, Ye Saining and Zhou Jingze both buried their heads in the aquarium. Water kept pouring over, holding their breath, unable to think, fish constantly coming to kiss her cheeks.

Like entering another world.

Only the sound of fish blowing bubbles surrounded them. Those sad, suffocating, painful things all disappeared in that moment.

So much so that she kept holding her breath underwater, wanting to be like a butterfly fish, staying in the aquarium forever.

Finally Zhou Jingze pulled her out of the tank. Suddenly released, gasping for air, Ye Saining couldn’t stand steadily and fell sitting on the ground.

Zhou Jingze bent down, wanting to reach out and pull her up. Their eyes met, both stunned, then they smiled at each other. Because they were both soaking wet with fishy water smell, hair sticking to their foreheads in strands – as bedraggled as could be.

The boy laughed loudly, lowering his head, laughing so hard his shoulders shook, unable to control his breathing.

At this time, the aquarium owner played an English song – a woman’s voice, languid and husky. Ye Saining stared blankly at this very handsome boy laughing in front of her, her heart beating fast. The song sang:

Can’t you hear my call

Are you coming to get me now

I’ve been waiting for

You to come rescue me

I need you to hold

Every lyric and beat landed precisely on her heart.

After Zhou Jingze finished laughing, he sat beside her, also leaning against the wall. He took out a new cigarette from his pack, held it in his mouth, and lit it with a “snap.”

As the gray-white smoke gradually dispersed and his features became clear, Zhou Jingze’s dark eyes looked at her: “Feel better?”

He was actually asking if she was happy.

Ye Saining looked up at him. In that moment, she wanted to die with him.

She was smitten.

She surrendered.

Once she fell in love, possessive emotions began growing wildly. She wanted to be the cat on his body, wanted to kiss him in the rain, wanted to make love with him naked on empty railway tracks, wanted to get couple tattoos with him.

Wanted to be with him.

On Ye Saining’s birthday, she wore a new dress, fully made up, like a red rose blooming just for him. That night, Zhou Jingze jokingly asked if she had made a wish.

“I did. I wished for you to be my boyfriend.” Ye Saining’s gaze was naked and direct.

Zhou Jingze’s smile faded. After a long silence, he finally said: “I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

These were Zhou Jingze’s exact words.

There had been mutual attraction between men and women, but spending time together brought more mutual appreciation. Because the two were really too alike.

Ye Saining smiled with understanding, grinning: “I won’t give up.”

But Ye Saining hadn’t expected that in less than a week, Zhou Jingze appeared before her with a girlfriend. That girl sat on the back of his motorcycle, waited for him at the racing finish line, accompanied him in and out of various venues.

Zhou Jingze was telling her in another way that they had no chance.

Ye Saining thought that under the guise of friendship, she could slowly win Zhou Jingze over. At least to him, she was different, wasn’t she?

She had always thought so.

So they became friends again.

Until she went to study in England. One day Zhou Jingze suddenly transferred money to her, telling her to buy a new phone so he could save her number with a note.

Ye Saining’s intuition told her something was wrong. She asked what happened.

Zhou Jingze’s tone was casual: [A text mix-up that made a little girl angry. She thought she was you. If we kept chatting, she would have found out about my near-overdose incident.]

This was what cherishing meant.

Ye Saining felt a sense of crisis for the first time.

When the new semester ended, Ye Saining learned he was in a relationship.

Ye Saining never took Zhou Jingze’s relationships seriously because he was always lonely, wanting someone for company, but never truly sincere.

But this time was different. Unprecedented, Zhou Jingze changed his social media profile picture to a girl for the first time. Ye Saining clicked to enlarge it – only the girl’s profile, her hair in a bun with loose strands falling in front, beautiful profile, head lowered writing on test papers.

It looked like a library.

This photo was obviously candid.

So Ye Saining rushed back before Zhou Jingze’s birthday. The first thing she did upon returning was investigate this girl thoroughly, but Zhou Jingze seemed intentionally protective of her, unwilling to reveal even a single word.

No matter, she would find out herself.

Ye Saining logged onto Beihang University’s forum and within just half an hour had learned everything about this girl. She saw in posts that Xu Sui came to the library every afternoon. Ye Saining wanted to meet her.

She wanted to see what kind of devastatingly beautiful girl could make Zhou Jingze so openly and unconditionally dote on her.

As Ye Saining stepped onto the library’s first-floor steps, several freshman girls rushed past her carrying books, their discussion reaching her ears.

The girl with glasses asked: Don’t you usually avoid the library? Why did you come today?

The girl replied excitedly: I came to see Senior Xu Sui.

Someone teased her: I know you – you want to see her boyfriend, right? Believe it or not, at five-thirty, when that slanted sunlight appears on the senior’s desk by the window, Zhou Jingze – no, the senior’s boyfriend will appear precisely in front of her carrying white peach oolong milk tea and pineapple buns.

The girl looked incredulous: Not even a minute off?

The other answered: Not even a minute off.

Ye Saining went up to the third floor and found the girl in the innermost reading room. She wore a white T-shirt and blue high-waisted jeans. Because she was bent over doing homework, her shoulder blades were prominent, her skin very white and slender.

She looked quiet and well-behaved, a typical good student.

She hadn’t expected Zhou Jingze to like this type.

She walked in and sat at a secluded table. Soon whispered discussions arose around her, voices suppressing excitement: “He’s here, he’s here!”

Ye Saining looked over. The boy wore a black T-shirt, trim figure, wearing a baseball cap, sharp Adam’s apple, one hand in his pocket, lazily appearing at the door, right hand holding a cup of white peach oolong milk tea and two pineapple buns.

Large swaths of sunlight fell on his shoulders, his aura cool and sharp yet carrying roguish charm.

“Look, those are the things! The senior’s favorites.”

Ye Saining watched the boy she loved walk step by step toward another girl. He placed the food aside, leaning against the desk front, bending down to remove one of her earphones.

The girl looked up in surprise, then smiled.

Then.

He pinched the girl’s chin and across the desk, lazily bent down to kiss her openly in the dusk, his thumb sliding across her skin, intimate and passionate.

The sunset fell thick as honey on that desk. The girl’s fingers gradually climbed up his shoulders, their shadows overlapping.

Ye Saining looked at her watch – exactly 5:30, not a minute off.

This scene was very jarring, like breath being stolen inch by inch. Ye Saining didn’t know how long she watched before leaving.

Her childhood environment had taught Ye Saining one truth: what you want, you must grasp in time and hold tightly in your hands.

So she used returning to China as an excuse to start organizing gatherings, calling Zhou Jingze and some old friends. Parties, drinking, truth or dare – she filmed it all in a vlog.

Oh right, when Zhou Jingze lost at the game and was called to pay the bill, she happened to be sitting beside him and saw his payment password.

He was half-drunk. Ye Saining noticed his phone had a little bear charm and reached to touch it.

Zhou Jingze moved his phone away, lifting his eyelids to look at her with warning in his eyes.

Ye Saining had to pretend to be angry, propping her chin as she smiled: “No need to be so stingy. I won’t look anymore. You can at least tell me what brand that watch is – it’s quite nice, I want to buy one too.”

He didn’t care about the watch, so Zhou Jingze quietly mentioned a brand name.

Having seen Xu Sui, Ye Saining could tell at a glance that such a girl lacked security and was sensitive. So she uploaded the video to social media, knowing Xu Sui would definitely see it.

Their relationship would definitely develop cracks.

The convenience store incident was also her deliberately seeking them out. Originally Ye Saining hadn’t intended to be so malicious. It was at the convenience store, when she passed by Xu Sui, she glimpsed the little bear charm on the phone she was using to pay.

So they were a couple set.

No wonder Zhou Jingze wouldn’t even let her touch it.

Xu Sui’s phone screen lit up at the right moment. She glanced at it – the contact was noted as “Boyfriend.”

Her psychology began to twist, jealousy growing like weeds. So Ye Saining started lying, deliberately changing Zhou Jingze’s “I don’t want to lose you as a friend” to “I don’t want to lose you.”

Finally, she succeeded.

But Ye Saining hadn’t expected this move would push her even further from Zhou Jingze’s side, plunging her into an irredeemable state of unrequited love.

Later, seeing her again at the hospital where Xu Sui worked, Ye Saining finally explained and apologized, feeling relieved. After Xu Sui left the ward, Ye Saining lay in the hospital bed messaging Zhou Jingze.

She wasn’t showing off – she truly wanted to confess to him.

Soon Zhou Jingze replied, his words brief:

You got the wrong person. Don’t message me anymore.

Every word cold and heartless.

The last time she saw Zhou Jingze was on a bustling street. Among the crowds, he always unhurriedly held Xu Sui’s hand. She carried a bouquet of flowers, the two occasionally sharing smiles.

Ye Saining saw Zhou Jingze’s expression twitch like yawning. She knew his pollen allergy was acting up, but he kept enduring it.

Halfway through their walk, Xu Sui’s shoelace came undone. Zhou Jingze naturally crouched down in the bustling crowd to tie her shoe, as if doing the most ordinary thing.

Still his arrogant, roguish appearance, yet willingly bending down for one person.

Ye Saining withdrew her gaze from the couple, turned around, and strode forward.

Thus, her unrequited love ended.