Xiao Li rushed all the way back to the courtyard, pushing open the gate and nearly colliding with someone, but he had no time for apologies and continued hurrying toward the side chamber where Xiao Huiniang lived.
“Mother!” He burst through the door with a shout, but the room was empty.
He turned and went back out, grabbing the arm of any passing servant he encountered and asking: “Have you seen my mother?”
Too many people had died in the West Cross Courtyard today, and the newly assigned servants weren’t very familiar with him, nor did they know who his mother was. Each one shook their head and hurried off to attend to their own tasks.
Xiao Li’s heart grew anxious and restless. Just as he lifted his foot to run toward the mourning hall, he heard someone calling from behind: “Righteous Hero Xiao, Righteous Hero Xiao—”
Xiao Li turned around to see Steward Fu from the Zhou household. He quickly asked: “I’m looking for my mother. Do you know where she is?”
The steward’s face showed grief as he said: “Righteous Hero Xiao, please come with me to see the young master. He has something he wishes to tell you personally.”
—
Zhou Sui was a frail scholar. After being knocked unconscious by Xing Lie’s whip-kick, when he awoke his entire shoulder and neck were swollen. The household physician had administered acupuncture, but his neck still couldn’t move.
When Xiao Li entered, he saw Zhou Sui half-reclining on the bed with a support pillow behind him, his face pale as a ghost. A servant was feeding him medicine, but due to his neck injury, even swallowing was difficult—he could only take small sips.
Seeing Xiao Li enter, Zhou Sui waved away the maid feeding him medicine.
Before Xiao Li could even ask “Where is my mother?” Zhou Sui’s tears were already flowing. He struggled to get out of bed, and as the old steward stepped forward to help him, he knelt before Xiao Li wearing only undergarments, his eyes red and voice hoarse: “I have wronged Brother Xiao…”
These words felt like a mountain pressing down, making Xiao Li’s entire chest so tight he couldn’t breathe.
The remnant of his rationality made him step forward to support Zhou Sui’s elbow, saying: “Young master, please rise and speak. Xiao Li cannot accept such a great gesture from you.”
Zhou Sui refused to rise, tears streaming down his face in anguish: “Auntie… Auntie and the servants who were in the courtyard at the time all died tragically under Xing Lie’s blade while protecting my mother. I… I couldn’t even protect their corpses…”
Xiao Li felt as if someone had struck his head with a heavy hammer. His breathing trembled slightly as he asked: “What do you mean?”
Zhou Sui cried too grievously, aggravating his neck injury until his voice became so choked he couldn’t speak. The steward, supporting him, answered sorrowfully in his place: “When the young master failed to kill Xing Lie and was kicked unconscious, this old servant went to fetch the household physician. When I returned, all the corpses in the courtyard were gone. Upon inquiry, I learned… they had been thrown into the mass grave by Pei Song’s men!”
The steward couldn’t help but raise his sleeve to wipe his tears as he spoke.
The mass grave was outside the city. In such freezing weather, the mountain wolves couldn’t hunt easily—if corpses were thrown there, they would likely be dragged away by wolves very quickly.
Xiao Li felt dizzy. His hands gripping Zhou Sui’s arms unconsciously tightened with enough force to nearly crush his bones. He seemed unwilling to believe it, forcing out a laugh as he said to himself: “My mother… might not have been at the residence then? What if… what if she went to visit my sworn mothers?”
He started to rise: “I’ll go check at my sworn mothers’ homes. She mentioned several days ago that she wanted to take some shoe soles she’d made to them.”
“Brother Xiao!” Zhou Sui called out hoarsely, saying with difficulty: “Auntie… is truly gone. When I rushed to the West Cross Courtyard, I saw with my own eyes that she had fallen in a pool of blood, a sword wound cutting across her entire back…”
Xiao Li stood with his back to him, his tall figure almost blocking all the light from the doorway, with only a bit spilling over his shoulders—as if the entire desolate twilight sky outside pressed upon his shoulders and back.
He said nothing more, striding out the door and heading straight for the stables.
—
Dusk crept up inch by inch, cold wind carrying snow pellets like flying sand and rolling stones.
As the army entered the city, the residents hastily shut their doors, leaving the streets unusually deserted. Xiao Li whipped his horse frantically all the way, finally making it out the city gate just before it closed.
The mass grave was at a burial mound thirty li outside the city. When he arrived, the dusk had deepened, but fortunately a cold, clear full moon hung in the snowy sky, providing enough light to see.
Xiao Li tumbled from his horse’s back and began searching through the corpse pile covered in thin snow, turning over bodies one by one. Some corpses still had their eyes wide open in death, their eyelids and eyeballs frozen solid. Xiao Li tried to close their eyes several times with his palm but couldn’t. Some had been gnawed by wild beasts beyond recognition, pink bones draped with crimson strips of flesh.
The wolves nearby had all feasted tonight. From the distant mountain forest, howls could still be heard, one after another.
Xiao Li breathed the icy air with trembling breaths as he continued searching deeper into the pile of corpses. His frozen fingers were scraped bloody by rough grass roots and stones, leaving mottled bloodstains.
After searching the entire mass grave without finding Xiao Huiniang, he finally found only a blood-stained, tattered jacket. A choked sound escaped uncontrollably from Xiao Li’s throat—the embroidery pattern on the jacket’s front was a design Wen Yu had taught his mother.
His mother had been wearing it when he left home this morning.
Clutching that tattered jacket, he knelt there helplessly as the snowstorm and winds sweeping across the wilderness drowned out his anguished sobs.
A clear moon hung in the firmament, illuminating the human world where snow fell like scattered petals.
—
Tongcheng.
Night had fallen deep. Wen Yu sat in the inn room, propping her elbow on the table, but without the slightest bit of sleepiness.
That afternoon, several guards had specifically gone into the city to gather information, but they hadn’t brought back anything useful.
But intuition told Wen Yu that with Pei Song acting this way, there must be some connection between these great families, the Pei family, and even the imperial family.
Her opponent was young but deeply calculating, able to endure what ordinary people could not, and his methods were formidable. Wen Yu hated him to the bone, yet she also clearly understood he was an opponent who must never be underestimated. Her father and brother had suffered defeat after defeat at his hands, ultimately dying miserably by them, all because he had seized every advantage.
After Emperor Mingcheng’s death fifteen years ago, when the Empress Dowager held court from behind the screen with the late emperor she had raised at her knee, imperial power in Great Liang had already declined, with only the maternal family’s Ao faction dominating the court.
From the moment the late emperor was born from the womb, he had a weak constitution and had always struggled to produce heirs. He also lacked the strength to handle state affairs—all matters great and small in court were controlled by Grand Commandant Ao.
Imperial Academy students had even mocked this situation, saying that in Luodu City, even minor officials only knew of Grand Commandant Ao and no longer knew there was an emperor.
The Yu family, which had produced three generations of Imperial Tutors, had secretly approached her father at that time.
The late emperor, raised at the Empress Dowager’s knee since childhood, was physically weak and also weak-willed. The reformist faction led by Grand Tutor Yu could see no hope of restoring court order in the late emperor, so they thought to carefully cultivate the next heir apparent.
But there were no direct descendants left in the imperial line. After repeatedly screening the collateral branch of the Wen clan, Grand Tutor Yu had secretly selected her father. To make the Empress Dowager Ao and the Ao faction agree to establish her father as heir, Grand Tutor Yu initially recommended another collateral branch with all his might.
Suspecting he had already won over that collateral branch of the Wen clan, Empress Dowager Ao and the Ao faction strenuously objected. Then other ministers of the reformist faction recommended her father.
Unable to directly refuse again, Empress Dowager Ao and Grand Commandant Ao proposed having her father come to the capital, where all the civil and military officials would assess him for a period before making a decision.
At that time, following Grand Tutor Yu’s advice, her father had restrained all his sharp edges and ambitions. During his months in Luodu, he was respectful and filial, winning the Empress Dowager’s favor while not growing too close to the reformist faction. This finally made the Ao faction agree to establish him as heir.
In the years that followed, Grand Tutor Yu became her elder brother’s teacher, and her father began to compete with the Ao faction, trying to shore up Great Liang’s collapsing edifice.
Pei Song appeared under Grand Commandant Ao at this time. He came from humble origins and was completely unlike the other officials from aristocratic families under the Ao faction who still cared about their family reputations—he was simply a vicious dog at Grand Commandant Ao’s feet who would bite wherever directed.
Wen Yu had even heard that whenever he encountered Grand Commandant Ao’s carriage, he would personally step forward and kneel on the ground, using his back as steps for Grand Commandant Ao to step down.
The several reforms and changes her father and brother proposed were all ruined by this Ao faction lackey.
Grand Commandant Ao valued him more and more, even giving him military authority. But no one anticipated that this submissive dog at the Ao family’s feet would eventually bare his fangs and catch everyone off guard after the late emperor’s death.
If he had been lying low and biding his time from the very beginning when he approached the Ao faction, his willpower must be terrifyingly strong.
Moreover, since Grand Commandant Ao valued him so highly, he must have secretly investigated his family background…
The candle on the table sparked, making a soft “pop” sound.
Thinking of his later ruthless extermination of the Ao faction, Wen Yu’s eyes gradually focused in the lamplight. There was only one possibility—Pei Song had assumed a false identity.
So… who exactly was the executioner who killed her parents, brother, and nephew?
As she pondered, a long thin bamboo tube silently pierced through the paper window, about to blow sleeping powder inside when a hand suddenly chopped at the person’s neck from outside. The person collapsed softly, and the bamboo tube also fell to the ground with a clatter.
Wen Yu put on her veil and called out sternly: “Who’s outside?”
The head guard pushed the door open, dragging in the servant who had been trying to administer sleeping powder: “Noble Mistress, it’s me. I noticed the inn servants acting strangely tonight and discovered something wrong while keeping watch in the shadows. This place is not safe—I’ve already ordered people to harness the carriage. Please leave with us quickly, Noble Mistress.”
Wen Yu wrapped herself in her cloak and followed the head guard out. After a few steps, she suddenly said: “Something’s wrong!”
The head guard turned back and asked: “What is it, Noble Mistress?”
Wen Yu surveyed the entire inn, saying: “This inn was established by Tongcheng’s government office. Those working here should also be government officials.”
After entering the city, fearing she might encounter a black inn and cause trouble, she had the head guard spend extra silver to stay directly at the inn established by the local government office.
Thinking of the current situation, she immediately said: “We’ve likely been lured into a trap. Make some noise to alert all the merchant caravans staying at this inn. With more people, we’ll have a better chance of breaking through.”
No wonder so many merchant caravans had gathered here because of the collapsed official road—it was likely the Tongcheng government office’s deliberate doing, just to make a windfall from passing merchants.
Just then, at the corner, a government official came charging with a raised blade. The head guard kicked him so hard he broke through the railing and fell from the upper floor. He shouted loudly: “Government officials are robbing and murdering people!”
Wen Yu pulled her cloak tight and followed behind the head guard. The guard who had been sent to harness the horses came running back from the rear courtyard, breathing hard: “Chief, all the horses in the stable were secretly fed beans—none can stand up now.”
The head guard cursed under his breath. Wen Yu made a quick decision: “Leave all the large luggage. Just take the valuables and leave Tongcheng first.”
The other merchant caravans staying at the inn had also realized something was terribly wrong and were now fighting with the government officials who had come to administer sleeping powder. The building was in complete chaos.
When Wen Yu’s group rushed to the inn’s main hall, they came face to face with the Feng family’s guard detail, who were also staying at the inn. They were the two fastest-reacting groups in the entire inn. Wen Yu noticed that the Feng family woman being protected in the center by servants and maids was holding an infant in her arms.
The Feng woman seemed to sense something and looked up toward Wen Yu. The two exchanged only a brief glance before both rushed outside together.
But just as they ran out of the inn, all the torches outside lit up. The government soldiers who had been lying in ambush outside the inn to seal off the street revealed themselves—a dark mass of no fewer than several hundred men.
The merchants who ran out from the inn later panicked, shouting: “How can there be so many government soldiers?”
“We’re finished, we probably can’t escape…”
The pot-bellied county magistrate walked out from behind the government soldiers and berated the inn supervisor: “How did you handle this? The ducks in our grasp nearly flew away!”
The inn supervisor bowed and scraped: “It’s all this humble one’s subordinates’ incompetence. This humble one will discipline them when we return…”
The county magistrate snorted lightly and ordered the soldiers behind him: “Take them all down!”
The guards the merchants had brought or the escort masters they had hired all drew their blades to block the way, but their numbers were far fewer than the government soldiers surrounding the inn.
Some pragmatic merchants immediately said: “We’re all just doing small business, passing through this place. Naturally we should show respect to the magistrate. Please accept our tribute and magnanimously spare our lives!”
The county magistrate’s narrow eyes fixed on the speaker, his smile amiable: “That’s acceptable. However, the Feng woman has offended Minister Pei. The Feng woman must stay. If you help this magistrate capture her, once this magistrate has taken the money and goods, naturally I won’t make things difficult for the rest of you.”
The merchants who had been united against the outside threat couldn’t help but waver, their gazes unanimously turning toward the Feng family.
The Feng family guards quickly formed a protective circle around the Feng woman, their blades pointing outward toward the other merchant caravans’ guards who were growing restless.
The Feng woman held the infant in her arms, her expression grief-stricken.
Wen Yu suddenly spoke: “Everyone, don’t fall for this divide-and-conquer strategy.”
Everyone looked at her, but she wore a veil and the wide hood of her cloak covered nearly the entire upper half of her face. The crowd could only see her tall, slender figure and secretly speculate about her identity.
But they heard that clear, cold voice continue to ring out in the night: “Everyone, think carefully—on the road to Tongcheng, did you hear any rumors of Tongcheng’s government office leading robberies?”
The sounds of whispered discussions increased all around.
The county magistrate’s narrow eyes glanced toward Wen Yu, warning the wavering merchants: “This magistrate has offered you all a way to live. If you listen to the instigation of this skulking person, don’t blame this magistrate for showing no mercy.”
Wen Yu’s eyes lifted slightly, coldly saying: “Is what you’re offering a way to live? You simply want us to fight among ourselves and capture the Feng woman for you first, then you’ll catch us all in one net. Since you’re counting on robbing passing merchant caravans for wealth, to prevent news from leaking, how could you let us leave?”
Her voice was ghostly as she delivered the final heavy blow: “The reason we haven’t heard any rumors is probably because all the merchants who passed through here before became dead souls under your blade, isn’t that right?”
All the merchants were shrewd people. Now that Wen Yu had laid out the pros and cons so clearly, no one dared gamble on whether the county magistrate would let them go if they fully cooperated.
Everyone united against the outside threat once more.
But the Feng woman, holding her child, stared in Wen Yu’s direction in a daze.
Seeing his scheme dissolved by Wen Yu’s few words, the county magistrate’s expression turned ugly. A cold smile appeared on his fat face: “Since you’re courting death, this magistrate won’t stop you. Take them down!”
Guards and government soldiers fought in a chaotic melee while the elite protected their masters, trying to break through.
Without carriages or horses, relying only on their legs, and with the Tongzhou government soldiers holding the numerical advantage, they found it truly difficult to create distance from the soldiers.
The guards Wen Yu had brought were carefully selected from the household troops by Zhou Jing’an, far superior in ability to the other merchants. Her group and the Feng woman’s forces were the first to kill their way out.
Seeing the Feng woman about to escape, the county magistrate hurriedly shouted: “Chase them! You must capture the Feng woman for me!”
The government soldiers on horseback quickly caught up, drawing their bows and loosing arrows toward the fleeing crowd.
Guards and servants fell one after another.
Seeing they were outnumbered, without needing orders from their masters, the two families’ guards reached an unspoken understanding to work together, holding back the pursuing soldiers while letting their masters escape as quickly as possible toward the city gate.
After Wen Yu became separated from her personal guards, having already escaped from human traffickers’ hands countless times, though the cold wind tearing through her lungs caused stabbing pain as she ran, she never fell behind.
The Feng woman, holding her child, stumbled and fell as they neared the city gate. The child fell to the ground wailing loudly, and tears also welled in her eyes—helpless and desperate.
Behind them, the pursuing soldiers pressed relentlessly. Ahead at the city gate, guards were still fighting fiercely with the soldiers guarding the city, struggling to force open the gate.
Hearing the infant’s cries and thinking of her nephew who had been lifted and dashed to death, Wen Yu saw that breaking through the gate would still take time. She stepped forward to help pick up the child, about to help the Feng woman to her feet.
But the woman asked her tearfully: “You’re Princess Hanyang, aren’t you?”
Not knowing how the other party had recognized her, Wen Yu hesitated about whether to admit it when she was suddenly pushed hard by the woman: “Watch out!”
Wen Yu, holding the swaddled infant, staggered back. The Feng woman had already been pierced through the heart by an arrow. An arrow that grazed past Wen Yu’s ear also broke the thin chain on her veil, causing the cloak’s hood to fall back as well.
The veil dropped, her dark hair flying, grief suffusing her eyes like a lotus flower standing in this snowy night beneath the moon.
The Feng woman saw her appearance clearly, obviously confirming her identity. Tears swimming in her eyes, she said weakly: “I beg the Princess… take my daughter out of the city…”
The Feng family’s remaining guards had already charged forward to block the pursuing soldiers.
A large patch of blood bloomed across her chest—clearly beyond hope of recovery.
Wen Yu glanced at the infant in her arms whose cries were gradually quieting, nodded, and asked: “Do you know why Pei Song wants to exterminate your entire Feng clan?”
Blood spilled from the corners of the Feng woman’s mouth as she struggled to speak in fits and starts: “He is… Qin… Qin…”
Behind them, government soldiers cut down the heads of the Feng family guards, shouting loudly: “Don’t let them escape!”
At the city gate, the heavy sound of “creaking” also rang out at this moment. Several guards exerted all their strength to pull open a gap more than two feet wide, clenching their teeth as they shouted toward Wen Yu: “Noble Mistress, go!”
Wen Yu had no more time to ask. She could only say to the Feng woman: “I will find a good family to adopt your daughter.”
With those words, she picked up the infant and rushed toward the city gate.
The Feng woman watched Wen Yu’s retreating back. A single tear fell from her eyes before she finally slowly closed them.
The head guard led people to seize several horses. As Wen Yu ran over, a female guard on horseback reached out her hand toward her. Wen Yu grasped her hand and mounted the horse. The other person kicked the horse’s belly and charged out the city gate, with the rest following closely behind.
After leaving the city, they didn’t stop for even a moment, whipping their horses frantically as they rode along the official road.
By the time the county magistrate dragged his obese body to the city gate and learned that a group had escaped, he was so angry he kicked the city gate guards several times: “What use are you! After all these years, you can’t even stop a group of merchants’ guards?”
After examining the corpses on the ground, the secretary fawned: “Your Excellency, don’t be angry. At least the Feng woman didn’t escape.”
Only then did the county magistrate feel somewhat relieved. He walked to the corpse, but not seeing the child the Feng woman had been holding in her swaddling clothes, his expression darkened again: “Where is the infant she was holding?”
The secretary had no way of knowing either. Seeing the county magistrate about to lose his temper again, he noticed a Feng family maid cowering in the corner and quickly signaled the government soldiers below to drag her over.
The maid fell to her knees in fright, long since scared out of her wits by the corpses everywhere, speaking incoherently: “Don’t kill me, don’t kill me…”
The secretary demanded: “Where is your young mistress?”
The maid said tremblingly: “The madam gave her to the Princess to take away…”
The secretary’s tone changed, his voice rising shrilly: “Princess?”
Shock also appeared on the county magistrate’s face. His obese body pushed aside the secretary, his narrow eyes widening like copper bells in the firelight: “What did you say? Princess? Which princess?”
The maid was so frightened she could only cry, speaking incoherently: “I don’t know, I don’t know… I only heard the madam ask if the other party was Princess Hanyang…”
The secretary and county magistrate exchanged glances, both breaking into eerie laughter in the night.
The county magistrate was wild with joy, saying: “Quick, quick! Send more men in pursuit! Also write a letter to Minister Pei saying we’ve discovered traces of Princess Hanyang. With this magistrate establishing such great merit, rising through the ranks is just around the corner!”
—
Yongzhou.
Another day of gloomy, desolate skies. After suffering blow after blow, the Zhou household guards felt as bleak and lost as the weather.
But the young master had given orders—the streets still needed to be patrolled.
One guard, passing through the morning market to buy breakfast at a steamed bun shop, overheard someone sitting nearby eating wonton soup say: “When I entered the city earlier, I heard people say that last night the wolves near the mass grave howled all night long. A hunter went into the mountains this morning to check his traps and found wolf corpses everywhere on the mountain…”
The guard bit into his bun as he walked back, wondering aloud: “Who would be bored enough to go kill wolves on the mountain at night?”
His words had barely fallen when, passing by a dark alley, someone suddenly grabbed him and pulled him in.
The other person’s tall figure, though shrouded in the cold air of ice and snow, still carried a faint smell of blood. Just as the guard was about to counterattack, he was easily restrained with both hands pinned behind his back against the wall. A low, hoarse voice came from behind: “Little Lu, it’s me.”
The guard breathed a huge sigh of relief, calling out: “Brother Xiao!”
The person behind him released his hands.
He muttered: “Brother Xiao, where did you go last night? You were gone all night. Why aren’t you wearing your guard uniform?”
A conical hat covered most of Xiao Li’s face. Dressed in the common tight-fitting outfit of jianghu people, he only said: “I won’t be working at the household anymore. Please bid farewell to the young master for me.”
The guard roughly understood it was because of Xiao Huiniang’s matter and felt somewhat sad for him. He quickly asked: “Then where will you go from now on, Brother Xiao?”
Xiao Li didn’t respond, adjusting his conical hat. As he left, he only said: “Besides the young master, don’t tell anyone else you saw me today.”
The guard felt even more puzzled. After following him out of the alley, Xiao Li’s figure had already disappeared.
He said strangely: “Eh, where’d he go?”
The other guards who had been waiting for him came looking, calling out: “What are you dawdling around here for? Everyone’s waiting for you!”
The guard quickly replied: “Coming!”
He wolfed down his bun in a few bites and jogged over.
—
At dusk, after Zhou Sui learned from this guard about Xiao Li secretly bidding him farewell, another piece of news exploded through the household—Xing Lie was dead.
His head had been severed and was nowhere to be found.
When the guards learned this news, their expressions changed just like Zhou Sui’s.
Zhou Sui said hoarsely: “Quick! Go summon all the brothers who patrolled the streets with you yesterday.”
The guard nodded and hurried off in panic.
Before long, several guards had all arrived in Zhou Sui’s room. The old steward personally stood guard for them outside the door.
Zhou Sui looked at them, coughing as he spoke: “You are all men my father carefully selected and kept. I also trust your loyalty. Xing Lie is dead. I don’t know if Xiao Li did it, but Pei Song will never let this rest. You’ve all witnessed his methods—at the slightest provocation, he exterminates entire clans. For the sake of the Zhou household and all of you, Xiao Li ‘died’ yesterday along with the guards left behind at the West Cross Courtyard at Xing Lie’s hands. His corpse was also thrown into the mass grave. Have you all memorized this?”
The guards all broke out in cold sweat, quickly saying: “Your subordinates have memorized it!”
—
At the same time, in the Zhou household study.
Pei Song slammed his palm heavily on the huanghuali desk, saying darkly: “Several fierce generals under Prince Changlian were unable to take Xing Lie’s head, yet in this place in Yongzhou where there are no famous generals, someone severed his head—truly a great humiliation!”
He raised his eyes to sweep over the personal soldier who had come to report, demanding: “Was he killed by strategy?”
The personal soldier knelt on one knee, shaking his head: “When the coroner examined the body, he discovered that the guards around General Xing were all killed with a single strike. General Xing’s bones were all broken and his internal organs also showed bleeding. Clearly, the opponent beat General Xing until he had no strength to resist before… before severing his head.”
Pei Song was so angry he swept all the books on the desk to the floor. The veins at his temples bulged as his tone turned sinister: “Excellent. This Yongzhou truly is a place of hidden dragons and crouching tigers!”
Yesterday he had ordered Xing Lie beaten with twenty military staves, but that was just a minor punishment. Because they couldn’t buy medicinal ingredients in Yongzhou City and couldn’t requisition grain either, he had specifically ordered Xing Lie to take a dozen men out of the city today to check nearby towns.
Who would have expected such a thing to happen?
He coldly raised his eyes: “Go bring Zhou Sui to me!”
But outside the study, another personal soldier came hurrying over, saying: “My lord, urgent report from Dingzhou!”
This time not only Pei Song, but even the Chief Administrator who had been frowning in thought looked up.
Dingzhou was where Pei Song and Marquis Shuobian Wei Qishan had their first battle. Before coming to Yongzhou, they had made thorough deployments. Dingzhou had abundant supplies and military strength—Wei Qishan’s army couldn’t possibly shake Dingzhou in a short time.
What changes could have occurred there?!

I am not sure how much longer I can hold on – this author seems to love doom and gloom and a lot of blood!!