Nanyi froze for a moment. Xie Queshan had shown her a pleasant face, and she had almost forgotten that he still possessed such an expression. Those eyes were now crawling with ferocious bloodshot veins, the depths of his pupils black as the deepest ink strokes in landscape paintings, thoroughly concealing any trace of compassion.

No, this was originally his Asura face.

But she wasn’t as afraid of him now.

“Speak! Why!” His patience was about to run out.

“Didn’t you tell me yourself that I could go wherever I wanted? Then why can’t I return to the Xie Family? What are you afraid of?”

Xie Queshan panted heavily. What was he afraid of? How ridiculous—what did he have to fear? He had magnanimously let her go, paved a path for her future, even been willing to yield before Zhang Yuehui, yet she didn’t know what was good for her!

Didn’t she just want to stay alive? He gave her a way to live, but she didn’t want it! Had she stayed with Song Muchuan so long that her brain had gone bad too?!

“Staying at the Xie Family is a dead end for you. Didn’t you understand what Zhang Yuehui said?”

“Xie Queshan, you’re really interesting,” Nanyi said, confined within inches but showing no fear, lifting her face to look into his eyes. “You already know I work for the Candle Bureau. Shouldn’t you keep me by your side to watch me? Just like when you had me watch Xie Xiaoliu. Why do you want to let me go out to cause trouble? Isn’t that dangerous for you? Whose side are you really on?”

“Whose side I’m on isn’t obvious enough? Do I need to personally deliver you to the Qi People before you know fear?”

“I don’t believe it!” Nanyi shouted at Xie Queshan.

The room fell silent for an instant.

“You’re too good at acting, Xie Queshan. I don’t know from which step you started calculating, but you betrayed the Princess, yet the Princess was still rescued in the end. Everything is like this! Yes, I’m not as clever as you, but I can still see that your words don’t match your heart. I don’t believe what you say. I want to stay here. I want to see with my own eyes exactly what kind of person you are.”

He hadn’t expected this to be her reason.

Like being struck head-on by a massive wave, he panicked, both shocked and frightened. His first reaction was to struggle and deny. He punched the door frame, trying to make her submit with a more vicious expression: “I’m giving you a way to live, and you really think I’m a saint? Knowing how naive you are, you wouldn’t survive long outside anyway. I should have let you be buried in the Xie Family tomb and die with dignity.”

She raised her eyes, which sparkled brightly, catching a logical thread: “So from the time of the burial sacrifice, it was all your calculation? You were saving me from that time?”

Xie Queshan suddenly fell silent.

He had lifted a rock only to drop it on his own foot, suddenly struck at his most hidden place.

He had a secret sorrow, and this sorrow had become one with him, inseparable. If that layer of skin were torn away, what would remain wouldn’t be that forthright youth, but something bloody and unseemly. He didn’t know how to live in this world in a way that would be consistent with himself. He could only wrap himself up in a nearly self-destructive manner.

It would be best if it were never known to anyone.

But was she mad? She actually wanted to touch that truth… He could no longer predict her actions. Her intelligence and agility made him feel things were spiraling out of control step by step.

Nanyi didn’t struggle or dodge. Her hand climbed onto the back of his hand, trying to make him loosen the fist he had struck against the door frame.

Her cold fingers slipped between his fingertips. He felt threads of pain, and this sensation nearly drove him mad. He dared not loosen his grip, but he clearly knew that in this confrontation, he was about to lose.

Yes, this was what he feared—he feared his will wasn’t firm enough, that she would completely breach his inner defenses. He feared she would penetrate everywhere, making him shed his armor step by step, surrender his weapons, until only his mortal flesh remained, fighting this collapsing world bare-handed.

He feared being devoured by that monster called “love,” ultimately unable to protect anything.

“Nanyi, don’t challenge what little kindness I have left. You can’t bear the consequences.” Though he spoke harsh words, they sounded more like powerless pleading.

Please, don’t come any closer. Go far away, take a broad and safe road—this was the best thing he could give her.

The closer she got to him, the more battered and scarred he became. He was willing to stay in the darkness—why did she want to walk alongside him?

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too. I’ll discover it myself. If you’re an outright traitor, someday I’ll drag you to die with me. If you’re not—” Nanyi ultimately couldn’t overcome his strength. She gave up, gazing at his eyes with powerless yet stubborn determination. “Then let me come to your side.”

This was like sweet rain.

But he feared his barren soil couldn’t give her an oasis.

Xie Queshan released his hand. He stepped back, tilted his head up and closed his eyes, his Adam’s apple rolling. Something seemed about to burst forth, and he could no longer suppress it.

His voice hoarse, using his last thread of reason: “I’m giving you one final chance. Get lost. Leave the Xie Family, and never appear before me again.”

“I said I won’t leave.”

At this moment, the silence was so complete that one could almost hear the pounding of heartbeats.

He slowly opened his eyes, which had suddenly grown calm: “I gave you a chance. You chose not to take it.”

Only now did Nanyi belatedly feel afraid.

—Like cold water poured onto red-hot iron, the surface cooled down, but from within burned an even fiercer fire, layer upon layer of scorching heat spreading back to the surface.

She didn’t know what had ignited, only felt there was something familiar in his eyes.

In her memory, that snowy mountain, that wooden house, hiding an obscure past of uncertain truth.

She dared not deny it, nor dared to confirm it.

After a moment of silence, he said: “Then you’ll die by my hand, and never think of running again.”

Xie Queshan reached out to press the back of her neck and pull her close, a rough, heated kiss falling upon her thin, water-like lips.

Everything that had been denied came surging back at this moment, like a shout triggering an avalanche—at first silent, then devastating.

Greedy sucking, turning and repeating, heavy breath pouring over her face.

With a sweep of his sleeve, cups and dishes scattered across the table. Tasseled brocade slid down as he lifted her onto the red wood table, her back suspended in air. She could only hold him tightly with nowhere to escape.

Physical instinct accepted this a step ahead of reason. The moment he lifted her, Nanyi felt the ground beneath her feet was no longer ground but had suddenly become treacherous waves. Looking around, she saw a vast ocean, with only him beside her—she could only cling to him.

In his rampaging assault, she forgot to resist, or perhaps didn’t want to resist. She felt they had both gone mad, yet certain answers became clear.

He tore off her outer robe, and when he couldn’t untie the sash, he ripped it apart. The sound of tearing silk catalyzed his frenzied movements. Cold air immediately pricked her back, stinging her skin, but scorching hands followed, smoothing each trembling pore under his palm prints inch by inch.

He let himself play a madman, and finally became that madman. He gave up struggling, no longer hiding or concealing, allowing the monster within his body to devour him.

So be it, let them sink together on this lonely boat.

Together descending to the eighteen levels of hell, through mountains of knives and seas of fire, heavy with sin, neither letting go, neither able to hide.

…

Knock, knock, knock—but an untimely knocking sounded at the door.

Nanyi startled, but Xie Queshan impatiently pressed down on the back of her neck, not allowing her to be distracted. Yet that persistent knocking continued.

Zhang Yuehui’s voice came from outside the door: “Nanyi, I have something I want to say to you.”

Nanyi’s face suddenly burned with shame. She wanted to push Xie Queshan away, but he wouldn’t give up. He bit down hard on her lips once before releasing her.

His voice hoarse in her ear: “Tell him to get lost.”

Nanyi was both ashamed and annoyed, hurriedly trying to dress properly, but he pressed down on the corner of her clothing, not letting her dress or get down from the table.

“I…”

Nanyi had to speak toward the door, but when she opened her mouth, she herself noticed that even her voice couldn’t rise properly, soft as a pool of water.

“Nanyi?” Zhang Yuehui’s inquiring voice sounded again.

Nanyi closed her eyes and loudly said in panic: “I don’t want to see you. Please leave.”

“Then I’ll wait here.”

Zhang Yuehui wasn’t so easily dismissed.

Nanyi’s face was completely red. She pleaded with Xie Queshan in a low voice: “Let me down.”

The room was pitch black, with only a faint lantern light from outside filtering through the carved window. His eyes were dark and unclear.

“Do you still like Zhang Yuehui?”

Her mind was in chaos, unable to sort anything out, not knowing how to answer.

Her silence made him angry. He reached up to pull out her hairpin, letting her black hair cascade over her shoulders, then pressed down on her. She almost cried out, barely biting her lips to swallow back the sound that was about to emerge, leaving only half a sentence of ambiguous low moaning. Half her body lay on the table, face red as she looked into his eyes.

“Answer me.” He spoke in a low voice against her lips, relentless, suddenly like a child.

Nanyi’s mind was full of shame and annoyance. Only when someone was outside did she return from the floating clouds of not knowing where she was back to the human world, realizing this was Wangxue Cottage, feeling the absurdity of it all.

What were they doing? If someone walked in… and saw this shocking scene.

They had truly gone mad.

She tried to push him away: “Xie Queshan, calm down…”

There was some disappointment in his eyes. The tiger still wanted to show its power, but his voice lowered, blurred and rolling in his throat like a river that couldn’t flow.

“But I’m somewhat fond of you.”

Nanyi froze, and before she could react, Xie Queshan suddenly stood up, pulling her up as well. Taking advantage of her dazed state, he helped her put on her outer robe.

Then he turned and walked out without a word.

By the time Nanyi came to her senses, she could no longer stop him. She hurriedly tied her sash and hastily pinned up her hair.

He pushed open the door and came face to face with Zhang Yuehui.

Like a show of force, he raised his hand to wipe away the remaining rouge from his lips, then stepped past Zhang Yuehui.

Zhang Yuehui’s eyes widened. After standing dazed for a long while, he rushed into the room like a madman. Zhang Yuehui had keen eyes—even though Nanyi had straightened her clothes and tried to appear composed, he still immediately saw her swollen lips and the loose strands of hair at her face that she hadn’t had time to arrange.

He was holding something in his hand, which he set down by the table, then immediately rushed out again, chasing after Xie Queshan.

Grabbing the man’s robe, he swung a punch.

“You bastard!”

Xie Queshan dodged to the side and struck back with his elbow, knocking the unhinged Zhang Yuehui against the wall.

He smoothed his robes and hardened his expression: “Since you want to marry someone from my Xie Family, then beg properly. Where there’s a will, there’s a way—Boss Zhang.”