I couldn’t respond to Xie Xuanqing’s words. My jaw was so shocked that I momentarily lost the strength to close it.

“Why… did you?” I asked the question anyone would ask, but when I saw Xie Xuanqing lower his eyes, the suddenly dimmed color in them, I suddenly felt that I had asked an insignificant question.

It wasn’t that I undervalued those lost lives, nor did I think Xie Xuanqing was so pitiful that killing became irrelevant, but because… if Xie Zhuo could do such a thing back then, he must have had reasons that made it necessary.

I had lived with him for five hundred years. I might not understand all of him, but I trusted him, truly trusted him.

I knew he wasn’t a bloodthirsty, cruel monster. At this moment, I also knew that besides being a Snow Wolf demon, Xie Zhuo must have many other incredible secrets he was keeping from me.

Thinking of this, I felt somewhat distressed.

“Wait a moment…” I released my grip on his wrist and covered my face to steady my emotions. “Pretend I didn’t ask.”

I was reflecting on myself.

Why? WHY! For a full five hundred years! How could I know so little about Xie Zhuo!

Am I an idiot!?

Since the divorce and coming here, I’ve been pondering this. First, I didn’t know his power was so great. Second, I didn’t know what kind of demon he was. Now I discover I also didn’t know he carried such a heavy, bloody past.

What did I know?

Did I just know his name, appearance, and personality!?

I…

What was I even living for? Others live and marry and spend their days together, while I just played house in my marriage…

I covered my face, unable to hold back a long sigh.

Xie Xuanqing was always quiet, but now he was so silent it was as if he didn’t exist.

Until I finally calmed myself and looked up at him again, intending to have a heart-to-heart talk, I saw Xie Xuanqing with one hand against the wall, the other supporting his leg, looking as if he was about to stand up.

I froze. “What are you doing?” I asked him.

Xie Xuanqing turned to look at me, and in his eyes was a stillness like ice.

He revealed no emotion, only speaking to me in his usual cold voice: “Kunlun is nice. These days, thank you…”

“Wait, wait, wait…” I instinctively reached out to stop him. “I didn’t mean to drive you away. Sit down first…”

Xie Xuanqing froze, then sat down following the force of my hand.

I watched him sit, then realized…

Shouldn’t my goal be to make him leave? Why did I make him sit down? I should be showing fear and anxiety, then letting him leave Kunlun! Wouldn’t that work perfectly with the situation?

What am I doing!?

I stared blankly at the equally blank Xie Xuanqing.

However, during our eye contact, Xie Xuanqing’s expression gradually changed. I saw in his frozen pupils the gradual revelation of confusion and unease: “I will leave quietly.”

He said, “No one will know I was in Kunlun.”

I was done for again…

Once more, I felt sympathy.

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. After hesitating for a long time, I let out a short sigh and looked at him somewhat helplessly. “Xie Xuanqing, what have you been through?”

He stared at me blankly, a little confused and uneasy. He was like a helpless child, looking at me, waiting for me to pass judgment.

I couldn’t bear to see the look in his eyes, so I lowered my head, looking at his long but excessively pale hands. I couldn’t help gently stroking them a couple of times. The back of his hand was cool. I stopped and covered the back of his hand, hoping to warm him a little. I spoke spontaneously:

“Xie Xuanqing, your past must have been very difficult.”

Xie Xuanqing’s hand trembled slightly.

“I hope in the future…” After saying these few words, I stopped, then came to my senses.

Xie Xuanqing’s future was Xie Zhuo.

Thinking of this, my emotions became extremely complex. Because I also recalled that in my memories, so distant they were blurred, I had once said these words to Xie Zhuo.

Or rather… it was to the current Xie Xuanqing, on our wedding day, when Xiaxia said in person: “Xie Xuanqing, I hope you won’t be so lonely anymore in the future!”

I had also said: “We’ll always be together from now on. I’ll talk to you, make you laugh, I will always, always like you just as I do now.”

At that time, Xie Zhuo’s eyes seemed to have been lit by a candle, slowly brightening.

Xie Zhuo rarely smiled, but that day, I saw him smile, slightly curving his lips, softening his gaze. He responded to me: “All right…”

The words still echoed in my ears. Five hundred years passed like a white horse glimpsed through a crack, gone in the blink of an eye. For some reason, I suddenly remembered the day of our divorce, the moment I cut the red thread, Xie Zhuo’s slightly pale face, and that brief, empty gaze…

That candle burning in his eyes seemed to be extinguished in that instant.

I suddenly realized that it had been such a painful moment.

It was the shattering of so many vows, and a complete denial of all past happiness.

Did Xie Zhuo feel sadness at that time…

My hand was squeezed.

The pressure brought me back to reality. I looked up somewhat dazedly at Xie Xuanqing before me.

He held my hand in return: “I… am from the Snow Wolf demon tribe. As the rumors say, I exterminated my entire clan, killed my closest kin…”

He slightly pursed his lips. Saying these things was agonizing and a struggle for him. “My past has many shameful things. But… if you want to know, I will tell you.”

He said this, but at this moment, I couldn’t ask a single question.

I believed that these things shouldn’t be learned from Xie Xuanqing, but from Xie Zhuo.

From the person who had been married to me for five hundred years, with whom I had stories and misunderstandings, and from whom I had finally divorced.

Because what the present Xie Xuanqing would tell me was only his past, while Xie Zhuo could tell me what he had hidden from me in our past, what he had concealed, and why we had stepped by step walked to where we are now.

Perhaps I shouldn’t be led by Xie Zhuo’s rhythm, always proceeding according to the results he wanted. I should discover the problems between us myself, then find the root cause to solve the problem. Why did Xie Zhuo absolutely want to destroy our marriage?

I should clarify this matter before considering whether to help him and how to help him.

I had misdirected the whole thing from the beginning!

I had narrowed the path too much!

I suddenly stood up.

Xie Xuanqing looked at me blankly.

I said, “I suddenly have an urgent matter to attend to.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not trying to avoid you, uh, I… I think I was refining an elixir when I went out today. I just remembered it now. I’m afraid the furnace might explode, so I have to go check. I’ll come find you again tomorrow!”

I turned and ran, and fearing he might stand up and follow, I turned back with an instruction: “Rest well! Don’t see me out! Sleep early!”

I ran out hurriedly. As soon as I left the cave, I took to the wind, flying through the Snow Bamboo Forest. I tapped my ear: “Xie Zhuo!” I called to him while panting, “Where are you!?”

As soon as I finished speaking, I suddenly saw a figure in black clothes and black robes standing in the Snow Bamboo Forest ahead. Who else could it be but Xie Zhuo?

I quickly landed and took two or three steps to reach him.

Xie Zhuo glanced at me, then scanned behind me: “Someone chasing you?”

“No.”

“What’s the hurry?”

“I wanted to see you!”

Xie Zhuo was startled…

I calmed my breathing, looked up at him, and said, “Just now Xie Xuanqing admitted to me that he is from the Snow Wolf demon tribe, and also admitted to those legends about exterminating his entire clan and killing his closest kin…”

Xie Zhuo’s pupils contracted slightly. Around us, the bamboo leaves of the Snow Bamboo Forest rustled in the cool mountain breeze of Kunlun.

“That’s not my main point. What I want to say is, he also told me that if I want to know about his past, he can tell me everything.

To be honest, I think that the problems in our marriage largely stem from you not telling me anything. I believe that between us, we have always lacked a candid conversation.”

Xie Zhuo raised an eyebrow slightly: “So?”

“So, are you willing to put your past out there, explain clearly, and have a thorough discussion with me?”

Faced with my words, Xie Zhuo responded with his familiar silence.

I didn’t give up and continued: “I could learn some things I want to know from Xie Xuanqing, but I feel that your past affairs shouldn’t be told by your past self, but by your present self. Because the person who was once married to me…”

“Heh…”

A cold laugh pushed back the two words “is you” that I hadn’t yet spoken.

The surge of emotion I felt after leaving the cave was doused with a bucket of cold water, extinguishing a third of it.

I looked up at Xie Zhuo.

Tonight, the moonlight was covered by dark clouds, so his eyes revealed no light, as dim as an abyss: “Fu Jiuxia,” his voice was cool, “it’s too late…”

His reaction wasn’t very surprising.

After all, our marriage was proposed by me, and the divorce was also initiated by me. I was the first to say I liked him, and also the first to say I didn’t like him anymore.

So, in matters of feelings, no matter how you look at it, I owed him some guilt.

Regarding the divorce, Xie Zhuo’s resentment had always been greater than mine, which I understood.

I suppressed my emotions, thought about my feelings for him back then, and spoke again calmly:

“I know we’re divorced, and the red thread has been cut, but why are we here? Why do we need to go back five hundred years and create such a mess?”

“Because when you’ve done something wrong, you need to fix it.” Xie Zhuo answered my question with unusual eagerness.

But his answer was completely different from the answer I wanted…

So I rejected his answer: “No! That’s not it! It’s because we’re still unwilling and discontented!”

Xie Zhuo laughed coldly again.

I ignored him and continued: “Changing the past isn’t the only way to resolve these emotions! Xie Zhuo, we don’t need to go back five hundred years, we don’t need to sever our past marriage. What we need to do is reconcile with each other and with ourselves!”

I looked at him sincerely. “Xie Zhuo, let’s have an open and honest conversation, clarify things, understand better what each of us is thinking, let us have less…”

Before I could speak the words “resentment,” Xie Zhuo interrupted me again:

“Fu Jiuxia, you who cut the red thread, what right do you have to say these words?”

I was stunned, stunned for a long time. I said: “I cut the red thread, but the essence of why our marriage couldn’t continue is a problem between both of us…”

“The essence is that you cut the red thread.”

I gritted my teeth, my mouth twitched, and with closed eyes, I held back my emotions: “Cutting the red thread was just an action. The essence is that we couldn’t continue anymore.”

“It was you who couldn’t continue anymore.”

“Yes, I couldn’t continue anymore!” My composure was starting to break. “Could you have continued living that life?”

“I could have.”

“Are you determined to argue with me today?!”

“I’m not arguing, Fu Jiuxia.” He stared at me, emphasizing seriously, “You did something wrong.”

Damn it…

“So you’re blaming me? It’s all my fault?”

In the skill of provoking my emotions, Xie Zhuo, damn it! He truly deserved full marks!

I completely lost the calmness, heartache, and pity I had felt when I was with Xie Xuanqing in the cave. My emotions completely exploded.

“What did I do wrong? Was it wrong to like you back then? Was it wrong to marry you? It was involuntary, it was natural—how was that wrong? If this beauty was not wrong, then what wrong is its shattering!?”

Xie Zhuo pursed his lips, holding back his emotions. He was angry like me, but unlike me, he had always been a man of few words, and even at this moment, he remained so.

I continued to berate him: “Fine, taking a hundred steps back, even if I was wrong, weren’t you wrong too? If during these years you had trusted me a little more, spoken a little more, been a little less taciturn, we wouldn’t have ended up like this!”

Xie Zhuo was so angry that he turned to leave.

I rushed forward to block him: “There you go again! You’re always like this! Never saying anything! How many things have you hidden from me these five hundred years? No normal person could stand it! Does it hurt you to speak!?”

“Yes!”

Xie Zhuo finally shouted this word.

This time, in the cool wind of the bamboo forest, it was my turn to be silent.

I looked at Xie Zhuo as if looking at a fool.

“Do you know what you’re saying?”

He stared into my eyes, saying very seriously: “When I speak, it hurts.”

I was so angry I clenched my fists: “You… you’re good, to avoid the issue, you’ll even say such things now.”

I nodded, “Fine, very well, no more discussion, just like this. Tomorrow we’ll do what we need to do.”

I gave Xie Zhuo a glance, then turned away, thinking that perhaps what I loved had always been that youth from the past, not the current Xie Zhuo with whom I shared mutual resentment.

He said my divorce was wrong, cutting the red thread was wrong, but after this quarrel, I felt it from the bottom of my heart.

This marriage damn well SHOULD have ended!

I wasn’t wrong!