Banxia’s two apples were deadly weapons in the human world, instantly breaking through Wang Daxia’s already basement-level bottom line. No matter how much he looked, it wasn’t enough. They ignited what little reason he had left, burning it all away until he surrendered completely.
Banxia also pouted and asked him, “Does my rouge look good today?”
Wang Daxia was born with a weakness for the color red and couldn’t resist this temptation, allowing her to manipulate him completely. “It looks good.”
Wei Caiwei asked again, “Which gate do we depart from tomorrow?”
Wang Daxia: “Chaoyang Gate.”
“Your lips are a bit dry today, be careful they don’t peel.” Wei Caiwei used her lips to apply a layer of lip balm to his.
Having received his reward, Wang Daxia’s mouth became like a basket—and this basket was full of holes so large that an aroused Little Wang Daxia could fit through them. Wang Daxia confessed without being asked, “We’re leaving at the hour of the Rabbit. Get up early so you don’t miss it.”
Wei Caiwei said, “Oh, I’ll remember.”
Wang Daxia stood there motionless, still wanting more rewards.
Wei Caiwei said, “When we reach Linqing, I’ll let you taste another rouge balm.”
Wang Daxia: Life is precious, loyalty is priceless, but for Banxia’s sake, everything can be cast aside.
The next day, Lu Ying disguised herself as a merchant selling ginseng and deer antler, while Wang Daxia and the others posed as escort agency guards protecting the goods. They met at Chaoyang Gate at the hour of the Rabbit and left Beijing together. At noon, when they stopped at a post station to rest and eat, they heard jingling sounds from outside the door.
This was the sound of a traveling doctor shaking his tiger support, intending to attract business.
The sound stopped, the traveling doctor put away his tiger support and came in to eat. This person carried a bamboo-woven medicine box on his back, with a banner hanging above the box that read “Miraculous Hands Bring Back Spring.”
Lu Ying felt the four characters “Miraculous Hands Bring Back Spring” seemed familiar. If there were also a banner reading “Gynecological Saint” it would be even more fitting.
The traveling doctor set down his medicine box and removed the large hat from his head. “Waiter, one bowl of plain noodles and half a jin of beef.”
It was Wei Caiwei. Although she wore a standing-collar robe and her face was somehow tinted slightly yellow-black, with a black net cap on her head, dressed as a man, Lu Ying still recognized her at first glance. The two of them were simply too familiar with each other.
Lu Ying immediately turned her gaze to Wang Daxia at the neighboring table: You little rascal leaked the purpose of our trip!
Wang Daxia pretended not to feel Lu Ying’s burning gaze. He seemed extremely hungry, lowering his head to wolf down his rice frantically. Looking at the vigor with which he ate, it seemed like he had just picked up the rice bowl, not showing at all that this was already his third bowl of rice.
Lu Ying wouldn’t let Wang Daxia play dead. She picked up an unused chopstick and, putting on an arrogant manner, poked Wang Daxia’s lower back. “I feel somewhat unwell. Call that traveling doctor over to examine me.”
Wang Daxia had no choice but to put down his rice bowl and shamelessly go request Wei Caiwei. “Our boss is feeling unwell. Please come over to examine him.”
Wei Caiwei carried her box to Lu Ying’s table. “Boss, where do you feel unwell?”
The two appeared to be patient and doctor consulting, but that wasn’t really the case. Lu Ying advised, “This operation is dangerous. You should go back.”
Wei Caiwei said, “The more dangerous it is, the more I must go to Linqing to see Ding Wu. I miss him very much. I just want to see him and hear him speak with my own ears. Besides, I’ve participated in several of your Embroidered Uniform Guard operations. Which time did I drag you down? Let me go. I’ll be useful to you.”
Wei Caiwei also used provocation: “This time leaving Beijing, your family is also worried about your safety. Concern is concern, but what must be done still must be done. Would you give up because there’s danger? Since that’s the case, don’t try to persuade me to go back. My mind is made up. Even if I don’t travel the same road as you, I’ll still go to Linqing.”
Wang Daxia played the good guy on the side. “Just agree to let Doctor Wei travel with us. It’s too dangerous for her to walk alone as a traveling doctor.”
Lu Ying had no choice but to agree.
Wei Caiwei pretended to take her pulse and diagnose her condition, gave Lu Ying several medicine pills, and charged seventy coins, just enough to pay for today’s meal.
Now let’s say that when Lu Ying’s group reached Linqing County, the court also stirred up a wave of disturbance, neither large nor small.
After Lu Bing’s death, Lu Bing and Yan Shifan’s mutual relative by marriage (a Yan family daughter had married one of Wu Peng’s sons), Personnel Minister Wu Peng suddenly submitted a retirement petition. His old friend’s sudden death made Wu Peng feel like retiring, sensing that the great mansion was about to collapse, he quickly resigned to escape.
Wu Peng was indeed advanced in years. After Emperor Jiajing refused twice, he agreed the third time. The Personnel Ministry had a vacancy, and Chief Grand Secretary Yan Song strongly recommended Works Minister Ouyang Bijin to serve as Personnel Minister.
The Personnel Ministry managed the deployment of officials throughout the realm, so it was called the Ministry of Heaven. Although both were ministers, going from Works Minister to Personnel Minister was considered a promotion, with hopes of joining the cabinet in the future to become a cabinet minister.
Ouyang Bijin was Yan Song’s brother-in-law. His elder sister Ouyang Shi had married Yan Song, and Yan Shifan was his nephew.
Why did Yan Song dare to openly practice nepotism?
Because Ouyang Bijin was a capable minister, a proper two-ranking jinshi graduate who had served as Justice Minister and Works Minister. When serving as Justice Minister, he cleared up unjust imprisonments. When serving as Works Minister, he improved designs and saved costs.
When serving as a provincial governor, the local area suffered from cattle plague, with large numbers of oxen dying, affecting agriculture. Ouyang Bijin extensively studied various ancient agricultural books and invented a human-powered plowing machine that used pulleys and winches to drive iron plows, solving the local urgent problem and avoiding famine.
Ouyang Bijin’s official reputation and popular prestige were both excellent. When Yan Song recommended his brother-in-law as Personnel Minister, even his opponent Xu Jie couldn’t find fault with it.
Emperor Jiajing agreed.
Ouyang Bijin thus became Personnel Minister. This delighted his nephew Yan Shifan immensely. With his uncle managing official deployments, it would be even more convenient for him to collect money and sell offices.
Officials flocked to Yan Shifan, sending money to seek promotions and transfers. Yan Shifan was a man of principle—if he took money, he would get things done. He took the list and gifts to visit his uncle Ouyang Bijin.
Ouyang Bijin entertained his nephew and accepted both the gifts and the list.
But within a few days, Yan Shifan was dumbfounded. Not only did the people on the list not get promoted or transferred to desired positions, they even had their offices stripped away!
What was going on?
Yan Shifan had taken money but failed to accomplish anything for the first time, losing his reputation for integrity, clear pricing, and honest dealing. Anxiously, he rushed to find Ouyang Bijin. “Uncle, that list wasn’t asking you to remove their official hats, it was asking for promotions! My dear uncle, you must have misunderstood. It wasn’t to punish them.”
Ouyang Bijin shook his head. “I investigated their achievements over the years, and they’re all inadequate—holding positions without doing work, eating without working. What use are such officials? They’re just wasting the state’s salary. I’m the Personnel Minister, responsible for official deployments. Naturally, I must select suitable people to fill positions.”
The nephew looked at money, the uncle looked at people—they were clearly not the same type.
No matter whether Yan Shifan used sweet words or threw tantrums, Uncle Ouyang Bijin refused to budge, stubborn as a stone. He even advised his nephew, “Can’t you just return the money? You have plenty of money anyway.”
Yan Shifan: Impossible! I’m like a Pixiu, feeding on wealth from all directions, swallowing everything without excretion, only taking in without giving out. How could I possibly return money!
I won’t return a single coin!
Ouyang Bijin also brought out all the gifts his nephew had sent last time. “Take the gifts back. I have no use for them anyway.”
How could gifts from nephew to uncle be returned like this? Yan Shifan still cared about face, so he took his leave. “Uncle, please don’t see your nephew out.”
Yan Shifan rushed without stopping to find his father Yan Song. Despite the cold spring weather of the first month, he had actually worked up a sweat. He told about Ouyang Bijin refusing his requests. “…How obedient the previous Personnel Minister Wu Peng was! Whatever your son said, he would do, more obedient than a dog. He suddenly said he felt like retiring due to Loyal Earl’s sudden death and resigned to care for himself in old age. When father recommended uncle, your son was happy for several days, thinking that in the future the court would still be our Yan family’s domain. But uncle doesn’t give your son any face at all.”
When Wu Peng was in office, “all officials’ advancement and demotion completely obeyed Yan Shifan’s commands, none dared act independently, merely filling positions, and people both inside and outside the court despised him” (Note 1).
Used to Wu Peng’s gentle obedience, never saying no, Yan Shifan sought help from his father. “Father, please quickly replace him with someone obedient as Personnel Minister. Get uncle removed. Your son can’t stand it anymore. Having lost credibility, how can your son do business? Quickly replace someone as minister so your son can properly place those who sent money.”
Yan Song was copying the Three Thousand Word True Scripture of the Supreme Daoist Lord in gold paint on a black Daoist robe, preparing to send it to Emperor Jiajing. His brush moved like a dragon. “The money you’ve made these years is enough for our Yan family for thousands of generations of glory and wealth. It’s time to stop.”
Yan Shifan shook his head repeatedly. “No, when is there ever enough money to earn?”
Yan Song set down his gold brush. “Haven’t you noticed that since Loyal Earl’s death, many things have changed? Prince Jing seems unable to turn things around, while Prince Yu is gradually gaining power, entering the palace for New Year’s for the first time ever. Memorials requesting the emperor to establish the heir apparent arrive daily. ‘When spring river water warms, ducks know first’—that clever Wu Peng was the first to slip away, even using the pretext of commemorating Loyal Earl, and the emperor gave him many gifts to send him home.”
“You and I, father and son, have controlled government for many years, making countless enemies, and repeatedly offending Prince Yu—you’ve withheld Prince Yu’s stipend several times, haven’t you? After Loyal Earl’s death, the emperor grew white hair overnight and aged considerably. Future power belongs to the new emperor. You and I, father and son, cannot retire like Wu Peng did. If we retire, we’ll be torn to shreds. So don’t always think about making money—find an escape route for the Yan family.”
Yan Song, having served the emperor for years, had an extremely strong sense of crisis. If Prince Yu became emperor, the Yan family would certainly face reckoning.
After listening, Yan Shifan said, “There are plenty of ways. Your son will arrange it right away.”
Yan Shifan called his trusted advisor Luo Longwen. “You’re familiar with overseas territories. Take some gold, silver, and jewels south, buy several large ships, and recruit some death warrior forces for backup. Cross the seas and find several safe places to hide wealth, buy houses and land, prepare several backup locations—a cunning rabbit has three burrows—just in case. Open an escape route from Beijing to overseas so we won’t be caught off guard in the future. We can also do some smuggling business normally—wouldn’t that be killing two birds with one stone?”
Luo Longwen was originally a master ink maker who later became famous for helping anti-Japanese general Hu Zongxian persuade the great pirate Xu Hai to surrender. Having experience mediating with pirates and Japanese raiders, Luo Longwen knew the Great Ming coastal areas and overseas territories like the back of his hand, earning Yan Shifan’s appreciation and becoming his advisor.
“I will not fail Master’s mission.” Luo Longwen accepted the order and departed, taking part of Yan Shifan’s wealth south to Linqing post station for lodging.
Lu Ying’s group had arrived first and was eating when Luo Longwen entered the post station. Wu Xiaoqi was the first to recognize him, saying in a low voice, “Boss, Luo Longwen is here.”
Wu Xiaoqi’s father had died at Yan Shifan’s hands, and he had sworn revenge. He knew all of Yan Shifan’s advisors.
Author’s Note: This Uncle Ouyang Bijin is quite troublesome for his nephew.
Note 1: From “A Study of Ming Dynasty Personnel Ministers”