Living off a woman has many methods, but Wang Daxia was different from ordinary men who lived off women.
He didn’t have “chopsticks.”
To take a shortcut to power by entering the palace as a eunuch, he paid the price of cutting off the chopstick he was born with—this was his only shortcoming.
Literally and metaphorically short.
He was a eunuch, a real eunuch, genuine as they come—who would still be dragged out and beheaded for defiling the imperial court.
But could one not live off a woman without chopsticks?
Of course not.
Humanity’s ability to stand out in the animal kingdom and become masters of the world came from refined hand movements and making and using tools—these were key factors in humanity’s progress from primitive to civilized.
Only human thumbs could perform delicate opposing movements—thumbs touching the other four fingers on the palm, allowing humans to grasp easily.
In evolution, fingers grew from short to long, becoming increasingly flexible for tool-making. Even with shortcomings, tools could be made to compensate, turning weaknesses into strengths.
Wang Daxia was dexterous. Who said living off a woman required chopsticks?
One could use hands or make substitute tools, handcrafting various chopsticks to eat soft rice. It could still reach the mouth. Wang Daxia lost one chopstick but manufactured a whole set.
In the previous life, on the morning of the first day of the twelfth month in the forty-third year of Jiajing’s reign, Wei Caiwei, head female official of Yongshou Palace, was late for duty and didn’t enter the palace on time—showing Wang Daxia was skilled at living off a woman, his technique perfected.
Reborn, Wei Caiwei lived at Wang Manor, drank medicine from her own prescription, fell into deep sleep with sweet dreams, reliving in dreams the days she’d walked with Wang Daxia in her previous life.
Sleeping Wei Caiwei showed a smile.
The world generally held companion couples in the palace with contempt and curiosity, viewing them strangely. Even Wei Caiwei initially felt awkward forming a companion marriage with Wang Daxia, not taking this marriage seriously—it was merely a tool for revenge.
But once truly committed in body and heart, deeply involved, Wei Caiwei discovered that as long as both parties entrusted body and soul to each other with mutual respect and love, companion couples were no different from worldly married couples.
Without that chopstick, Wang Daxia still ate soft rice deliciously, and she was happy to lend her influence to pave his path to success, providing him soft rice to eat.
Through dynastic change, Wang Daxia became Eastern Depot director while his patron Lady Shang Shou became a dowager consort. Wei Caiwei gradually withdrew from court, and their companion marriage shifted from female-strong-male-weak to a different dynamic.
But Wang Daxia didn’t become arrogant upon success like some men who lived off women, turning to bite back and retaliate against the women who had provided for them, eating soft rice hard.
Wang Daxia was accustomed to soft rice—his stomach couldn’t tolerate “hard dishes.” Before her, he always maintained the appearance of a man living off a woman, consistently treating her well, even sacrificing his life to save her. Until death, he promised to be husband and wife in the next life, giving her a child to make up for this life’s only regret.
In the previous life, Wang Daxia lived off a woman. Living off a woman required consciousness of doing so—hiding flaws and showing strengths before Wei Caiwei.
What did Wang Daxia castrate besides one chopstick?
When he wielded the blade for self-castration, he also cut away that unrestrained, rebellious, cynical youth who was naive enough to spend lavishly helping strangers, growing wild like a weed.
Wei Caiwei saw almost entirely his good side—diligent, clever, considerate, brave, loyal—except for his terrible aesthetic sense, consistently loving gaudy, flashy things.
The reborn Wei Caiwei knew Wang Daxia’s other side and obviously couldn’t accept it immediately. But she couldn’t forget the deep affection from the previous life. Even though pre-castration Wang Daxia and the one in her memories were completely different people who angered her three times daily, Wei Caiwei still risked staying in the capital to prevent his self-castration, never abandoning him.
While Wei Caiwei dreamed of various loving happiness with her previous life’s husband, Wang Daxia was staying up all night explaining to the arriving Lu Ying the details of their joint fight against Zhou Xiaoqi.
Of course, with Wang Daxia’s exaggerated personality, he fictitiously added drama to his role: “Seeing the scalding wax about to drip into Doctor Wei’s eye, I rushed over to protect her eye with my hand. With a hiss, my hand’s back burned in agony, raising a huge blister! But I still endured the pain to punch the villain’s face, knocking him down.”
Lu Ying asked: “Which hand got the wax? Let me see.” This was wax, not molten iron!
Wang Daxia pulled his hand back, hiding it under the table: “I applied Doctor Wei’s burn medicine—it’s fine now.”
Lu Ying said: “Can you be serious? Doctor Wei has taken medicine and is sleeping. I can only ask you alone. If you keep making things up, how do I report to Lord Lu at dawn? Should I recommend you for merit?”
Hearing about merit, Wang Daxia quickly asked: “How much reward money? Is there a hundred taels of silver?”
Lu Ying said: “The Embroidered Uniform Guard has rewards, but until this case is solved, the prize money can’t be claimed. However, working for the Embroidered Uniform Guard as an unofficial recruit, capturing this criminal means I can enter your name in the Guard’s roster. You’ll receive salary and military pay, with expenses reimbursed when investigating outside instead of paying out of pocket. Summer ice allowances, winter charcoal allowances, and holiday gifts to take home.”
From unofficial to official personnel.
“That’s it?” Wang Daxia was greatly disappointed.
Lu Bing had just taught Lu Ying methods of managing people. The Embroidered Uniform Guard needed talents like Wang Daxia. Lu Ying suppressed the urge to say “take it or leave it” and patiently explained the benefits of official status:
“If injured or disabled, salary continues—the Embroidered Uniform Guard supports you for life. If unfortunately killed, the Guard reserves a position for your descendants. As long as they pass archery and horsemanship tests, they can fill your vacancy.”
Wang Daxia gaped, astonished that Lu Ying didn’t understand social niceties: To recruit me into the Embroidered Uniform Guard, you should paint a big, round cake that looks deliciously appealing!
Starting with disability and death was too off-putting—even with a golden mountain ahead, I’d hesitate.
Commander Lu was fortunate to be reborn as Lord Lu’s bastard son, otherwise how would such an upright personality survive in officialdom?
Seeing Wang Daxia still not responding, Lu Ying racked his brains for other Embroidered Uniform Guard benefits: “Working with me on cases gives you more opportunities to appear before the emperor than ordinary Guards. If you gain His Majesty’s favor, you could rise rapidly with unlimited prospects.”
That was more like it.
Lu Ying seemed upright but not stupid, learning flexibility, not completely rigid, also starting to paint big cakes for Wang Daxia.
However, none of this attracted Wang Daxia.
Wang Daxia rubbed his tired eyes: “Can this be exchanged for silver? I only want silver, not positions.”
Lu Ying had never heard anyone refuse an Embroidered Uniform Guard invitation: “You don’t want to join the Embroidered Uniform Guard?”
Lu Ying suspected he’d misheard.
Yes, Wang Daxia nodded and yawned: “That’s right. Past, present, future—I never want to serve in the Embroidered Uniform Guard. My current temporary service is forced—my private funds are still in Lord Lu’s hands. I’m only doing this for money.”
Lu Ying asked: “Why? Is the Embroidered Uniform Guard inferior to the Northern City Military Commissioner?”
Wang Daxia spoke frankly: “I currently have food, drink, and spending money, living in a five-courtyard mansion by Shichahai passed down five generations. Even typical fifth-rank capital officials don’t live as comfortably as I do. Why would I seek trouble?”
Lu Ying asked: “You plan to drift through life like this?”
Wang Daxia nodded: “Yes! My family has a ready-made thousand-household title to inherit. I can become a thousand-household just by lying down—a fourth-rank military officer. Why would I suffer needlessly, risking possible disability or death serving in the Embroidered Uniform Guard? I’m not stupid.”
“You—” Lu Ying was speechless. Wang Daxia was hopelessly lazy.
Mu Baihu, who had remained quiet, felt this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: “Whether you go or not, you should thank Commander Lu for his appreciation.”
Mu Baihu’s words worked. Wang Daxia perfunctorily cupped his hands: “Thank you for your kindness, but I can’t do it.”
Mu Baihu said: “I have a suggestion—you could try it first. Your father’s title will definitely be yours eventually. But with just an empty title and no real power, no troops, no authority, it’s meaningless.”
“Your father inherited the title and worked steadily at the Northern City Military Commissioner for thirty years, patrolling streets through wind and rain, before becoming the Northern City Military Commissioner’s commander. That’s already good.”
Lu Ying, seeing Mu Baihu speak for him, added: “An empty title without real power—even the thickest family fortune can’t sustain it, like rootless duckweed. The family will inevitably decline. If you provoke lawsuits, titles can be stripped at will. Without power or position, who speaks for you? There are thousand-households, even earls and marquises begging on streets. Do you want to join their ranks?”
Mu Baihu nodded vigorously: “Yes, Second Young Master! Serving in the Embroidered Uniform Guard means high salary and good benefits. Morning roll call, evening home—no need to patrol streets overnight at your age like your father. Besides, you have Commander Lu and Lord Lu as patrons. When inheriting your title’s merit examination, you’ll definitely pass first try. Who dares obstruct you or demand bribes?”
Inheriting the title was Wang Daxia’s weak spot—one touch and he was hit.
Wang Daxia understood that with his abilities, besides inheriting the title, he had no other options. If he lost even this iron rice bowl, being incompetent at everything, he’d probably end up begging with a broken bowl on the roadside.
Wang Daxia was somewhat tempted, but still frowned: “Putting it that way, this position isn’t bad, just too far from home. I’d have to cross the capital north to south daily for morning roll call at 7 AM. I’m used to sleeping in and can’t get up early.”
Wang Daxia’s ideal job was “two more, one less, plus one near”: more money, more benefits, less work, close to home.
Lu Ying was speechless. Every day Wang Daxia broadened his horizons, showing him what an extreme dandy was.
Mu Baihu was practically heartbroken over Wang Daxia’s prospects: “The Embroidered Uniform Guard office is indeed far from home, but no matter—I’ll convince the thousand-household to rent a place near the office. You won’t need to worry about anything. This way you won’t need to travel and can sleep longer daily.”
Only then did Wang Daxia nod: “Good, I’ll listen to Uncle Mu. But let’s be clear—father must pay rent and daily expenses. My small salary can’t support me.”
Mu Baihu coaxed like speaking to a child: “Naturally. The house must be large too, not too shabby, or colleagues will look down on you.”
Wang Daxia had never lived independently and was immediately filled with anticipation for future life.
I’m free! No one will control me anymore!
Lu Ying hadn’t expected official positions and prospects to be useless while Mu Baihu’s small favors successfully tempted Wang Daxia to agree!
This truly fit Wang Daxia’s consistent behavior. Methods of managing people varied by individual—using his weaknesses to control him made him act according to my wishes.
Lu Ying tapped the table, breaking Wang Daxia’s fantasy: “Continue. Dawn’s approaching and the testimony isn’t finished.”
After Wang Daxia detailed everything, reviewed his statement, and signed with fingerprint, dawn was breaking. The curfew lifted as breakfast stalls opened one by one, and vendors pushed carts calling out their wares. Wang Daxia was hungry again and ordered a bowl of tofu pudding: “No cilantro!”
Lu Ying stood: “I’ll see if Doctor Wei is awake.”
Wang Daxia, calling out “hot, hot” while slurping down the tofu pudding, wiped his mouth and followed: “I’ll go with Commander Lu.”
Lu Ying asked: “Didn’t you say you wanted to catch up on sleep?”
“First, that’s my home—I go when I want. Second—” Wang Daxia glanced at Lu Ying: “A man and woman alone together with Doctor Wei sleeping—if you… I’m worried.”
Lu Ying couldn’t believe it: “Doctor Wei alone with you would be more worrying.”
Wang Daxia said: “How’s that possible! That’s my home. Even rabbits don’t eat grass near their burrows. Don’t talk nonsense.”
Sigh, taming this Wang Yanei wouldn’t be easy.
Next door at Wang Manor
Wei Caiwei hadn’t awakened. Her neck wounds were medicated and bleeding had stopped. Her face was pale as paper, with rope binding marks on her wrists. Zhou Xiaoqi had tied her too tightly—circular marks showed purple-red.
Seeing the little widow in this state, Lu Ying’s guilt overcame suspicion. He’d always considered the little widow the prime suspect, but now she was the victim. If Wang Daxia had been slower, not understanding her “cooling plums” warning, what terrible things might have happened to her?
Lu Ying pushed the door open and sighed: “I shouldn’t have suspected her based merely on her being seventeen, in the capital seven days, the same age as Second Miss He, without any evidence. This led to Zhou Xiaoqi targeting her and suffering this ordeal.”
Wang Daxia said: “Apologies are useless—pay compensation. Medicine fees, lost work fees, psychological trauma fees, house repair fees, plus last night’s damage list—compensate her for everything.”
Lu Ying asked: “Besides money, can you talk about anything else?”
Wang Daxia smiled: “Give me money and I’ll talk.”
Lu Ying: This guy was probably a money-string demon incarnate.
Meanwhile, in the northern city, Jiangmi Lane, Embroidered Uniform Guard office.
Commander Lu Bing arrived by five-horse luxury carriage before morning roll call. The benefit of serving under Jiajing was no early court sessions, allowing more sleep. But after being awakened by Northern City Military Commissioner messengers last night, Lu Bing couldn’t sleep again.
Veterans like Lu Bing who’d weathered storms—what hadn’t he seen? The Chen Qianhu father-son murder case was minor, not worth his attention. But “Clerk Ding Wu” on Wei Caiwei’s household registration reminded him of the capital catastrophe ten years ago.
He couldn’t sleep. That catastrophe was his lifelong hidden pain, to be carried to the grave.
Ten years ago, the Gengxu Incident—Mongol Altan Khan led troops straight into Beijing’s outer city, looting for half a month.
Lu Bing defended the city as refugees with children swarmed the gates, begging entry to escape warfare.
To secure the Embroidered Uniform Guard commander position with blood on his hands, Lu Bing was definitely no gentleman.
Lu Bing was Emperor Jiajing’s milk brother. Jiajing had originally been just a minor prince in Hubei’s Anlu, a royal branch with no claim to the throne.
But the royal orthodox lineage had withered. During Chenghua’s reign, Emperor Chenghua favored Consort Wan, even deposing the empress for her. Consort Wan tyrannized, repeatedly threatening the crown prince’s life, leaving deep psychological scars.
The crown prince ascended as Emperor Hongzhi, learning from favored consorts bringing national disaster. He had only Empress Zhang his entire life, no other consorts. Only one son survived from Empress Zhang—the future Emperor Zhengde.
Emperor Zhengde was eccentric, preferring other men’s wives, widows, and prostitutes while ignoring his empress. He died childless with no brothers, ending the orthodox royal line.
Following royal “brother succeeds brother” inheritance, it fell to Emperor Hongzhi’s brother—Emperor Jiajing’s father, Prince Xian. But Prince Xian died early, so the throne fell to fifteen-year-old Jiajing.
After ascending, Emperor Jiajing triggered the “Great Rites Controversy” to name his father emperor and move his spirit tablet to the ancestral temple, replacing the former main imperial line with his branch. All ministers opposing him were executed or exiled by Embroidered Uniform Guard fabricated charges.
Emperor Jiajing, this branch prince, used the “Great Rites Controversy” to eliminate dissidents and secure his throne. Lu Bing’s blade was “indispensable,” stained with innocent blood.
But Lu Bing wasn’t a demon. He had ruthless sides but also kind, soft-hearted aspects. Seeing refugees’ heart-rending cries below the city, he still entered the palace to persuade Emperor Jiajing to open gates for refugees while he dispatched troops to block Mongol soldiers attempting to storm the gates.
Only Lu Bing had such influence and the emperor’s deep trust. Others would never have gained Jiajing’s consent.
Lu Bing received the emperor’s decree, opened gates for refugees, and organized suicide squads within the Embroidered Uniform Guard to flow against the current, protecting refugee retreat while battling Mongol forces.
All refugees entered the city. All suicide squad members died in battle.
Lu Bing preserved the suicide squad roster, providing double compensation to members’ families.
He Qianhu was on this list. Originally, He Qianhu should have been executed with his whole family for negligence—failing to timely report Altan Khan’s southern invasion intelligence to Lu Bing. But He Qianhu volunteered for the suicide squad and died in battle, so Lu Bing interceded, changing his two daughters from execution to enslavement as official slaves.
When He Qianhu and Chen Qianhu’s families arranged their children’s engagement, Lu Bing attended the celebration. Chen Qianhu purchased the He sisters, swearing to care for them lifelong. Lu Bing believed Chen Qianhu and stopped inquiring.
Lu Bing thought feeding two extra mouths was easy. Busy with affairs, he quickly forgot this matter.
Lu Bing was busy finding scapegoats for the emperor, too occupied to inquire about trivial matters like how the He daughters lived.
The Gengxu Incident was shameful humiliation. Emperor Jiajing, not attending court for over twenty years while obsessed with immortality and alchemy, obviously bore primary responsibility.
But emperors were sovereigns—they couldn’t be wrong. Even if wrong, it was ministers’ fault for failing to detect enemy movements or provide proper counsel.
So Lu Bing, as the emperor’s milk brother and most trusted minister, had to find someone to shoulder this blame and appease public anger.
Who to choose?
Logically, Grand Secretary Yan Song should bear greatest responsibility as head of all officials—he held the highest position. Grand Secretary was like a prime minister. When foreign tribes invaded right to the doorstep, if not his responsibility, then whose?
But Yan Song enjoyed deep imperial favor while being Lu Bing’s in-law. Yan Song was faithful to his wife with only one son, Yan Shifan. Yan Shifan’s son Yan Shaoting married Lu Bing’s second daughter.
In-law Yan Shifan told Lu Bing: “Floods wash away the Dragon King’s temple—family doesn’t recognize family. You and I are children’s in-laws. My son is your second son-in-law, children are born, my grandson is your biological grandson. You can’t pin this blame on my father.”
“Find another scapegoat, in-law. I think Minister of War Ding Rukui would work. He heads Daming’s military—his army failed to stop Altan Khan, and he ordered capital forces not to resist, staying behind closed doors, only defending without fighting.”
This was indeed correct. But Minister of War Ding Rukui’s superior was Grand Secretary Yan Song, who told Ding Rukui not to fight, saying “Altan Khan will leave after looting enough.”
Without Yan Song’s order, Ding Rukui wouldn’t have dared choose conservative city defense strategy, resulting in the outer city becoming scorched earth.
Lu Bing knew this but accepted Yan Shifan’s suggestion, reporting Ding Rukui to Emperor Jiajing. The emperor agreed to make Ding Rukui the scapegoat, sentencing him to execution. His wife was exiled three thousand li south, dying en route. His son Ding Wu was exiled to northern Tieling Guard.
Lu Bing’s conscience troubled him. He found ways to delay Ding Rukui’s execution repeatedly for ten full years. Even now, Ding Rukui remained alive and well in imperial prison!
Last night, subordinates had placed ten years of surveillance reports on Ding Rukui’s son Ding Wu on Lu Bing’s desk.
Lu Bing quickly reviewed them, then rose to visit the Embroidered Uniform Guard’s imperial prison.
Imperial prison was where court officials trembled in fear, as notorious as Eastern Depot’s prison. Ding Rukui was separately confined in a death row cell.
Ding Rukui’s cell was clean and tidy, walls freshly whitewashed this year. A small window in the southeast corner provided the only light source.
Light projected on the floor formed an oval bright spot. Ding Rukui had risen, standing in the oval light circle practicing Five Animal Qigong, sunbathing while exercising.
Underground cells were damp with poor air. Lu Bing coughed upon descending. Ding Rukui offered a chair and poured tea: “Thank you for the Longjing tea. A death row prisoner still drinks such fine tea.”
Lu Bing suppressed his cough with tea, studying Ding Rukui—slightly sweaty forehead, ruddy complexion: “Minister Ding’s health is excellent.”
Ding Rukui, seeing his sallow complexion and drooping eyelids, said: “Lord Lu should also take care of his health despite busyness. This ten-year death row prisoner owes his survival to your protection—somehow I just can’t die.”
Lu Bing pretended not to understand the sarcasm, setting down his teacup with a smile: “Looking at our physical conditions now, I’m the one living like a lightless death row prisoner.”
Author’s Note: Dexterous Wang Daxia… suddenly can’t look at the Chopstick Brothers the same way…
Tomorrow this novel will be featured, so to avoid affecting rankings, tomorrow’s update won’t be in the morning but at exactly 11 PM, still a fat 6,000-character update. Thank you for your support.
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