HomeKill Me Love MeChun Hua Yan - Chapter 14

Chun Hua Yan – Chapter 14

Meilin walked to the window.

Murong Jinghe’s face showed impatience as he irritably said, “Come inside. How can we talk with you standing there?”

For some reason, Meilin found his manner quite agreeable. She walked along the wall to the main room’s entrance without protest and pushed the door open. A curtain separated the inner and outer rooms, which was usually tied back when she was away to allow him a broader view.

As Meilin entered, Murong Jinghe had already turned his head, watching her intently as she approached. His handsome eyes shone with a scorching intensity.

Meilin felt uncomfortable under his gaze, unsure of how to move her hands and feet. She finally reached the kang bed and sat down on its edge, silently sighing in relief.

“What are you angry about?” Murong Jinghe asked, his tone gentle, almost tender.

Tender… Meilin’s heart skipped a beat. She thought her mind must be playing tricks on her to associate tenderness with this man. He had been gentle with her before, but that was an act for Mu Ye Luomei. There was no need for that now.

“Hey, what are you daydreaming about? Don’t tell me you want to marry that stinking village bumpkin?”

Meilin was startled by these words. She looked up suddenly to see Murong Jinghe’s grinning face, his smile mocking, without a trace of tenderness. Feeling inexplicably disappointed, she simply smiled and said, “I’ve already turned him down…”

After a pause, she found the situation somewhat amusing and realized her anger was unreasonable. She continued, “That Wei Er’er is indeed quite dirty, but when it comes to living together, one can’t be too picky. If he’s steady and reliable, it might work out…” In truth, he wasn’t just dirty but downright sleazy. Even if she were interested, she wouldn’t have considered him.

Unaware of her thoughts, Murong Jinghe found her smile irritating. Accustomed to giving orders, he couldn’t let her continue when he felt uncomfortable. He interrupted with a cold laugh, “Then why don’t you just accept him?”

Meilin paused, angered by his sarcastic tone. Combined with her earlier frustration over the whole affair, her emotions flared up, and her expression darkened.

“Whether I accept him or not is no concern of yours, Prince Murong,” she said, suddenly standing up to leave. Though not usually so volatile, his words had somehow upset her deeply. She felt she needed to calm down and think things through.

Unexpectedly, Murong Jinghe smiled when he saw her anger.

“Don’t go. I have more to say,” he said slowly.

Meilin looked down at him, seeing his innocent expression. She felt both annoyed and amused, thinking him utterly impossible. When she tried to speak nicely, he’d be difficult and throw a tantrum. When she ignored him, he’d act as if nothing had happened. It was truly… truly exasperating!

“What is it?” she asked irritably, inwardly vowing to ignore him if he gave her any more attitude.

Murong Jinghe had to crane his neck to look at her, a position that displeased him. However, he didn’t show it, instead smiling and saying, “I’ve been sitting like this for too long. It’s uncomfortable. Help me change position.”

If Meilin had gone hunting, he would have had to sit like this for half a day. But since she was here, he could change positions anytime.

“Do you want to lie down?” Meilin knew he was uncomfortable and didn’t quibble over this. She bent down to adjust the cushions behind him while asking.

“Mm. On my side.”

Murong Jinghe suddenly became unusually compliant. Meilin glanced at him, wondering about this change, when she suddenly heard him say slowly, “You are my woman.”

At that moment, she had one hand supporting his neck and back, the other adjusting the cushions. Their heads were very close, almost sharing the same breath. Hearing these words, she froze. He suddenly turned his head and lightly kissed her lips.

Meilin felt her mind go blank for a moment. Murong Jinghe didn’t rush her, waiting as she gradually came to her senses. When she did, she saw his ambiguous smile and the unmistakable seriousness in his eyes.

A wave of heat uncontrollably rushed up her neck. Embarrassed, she turned her face away, almost holding her breath as she gently laid him down, turning him to face the room’s interior. She placed clothes behind his back to help maintain the position. She didn’t know how to react to his words, or perhaps she even doubted whether she had heard correctly.

However, Murong Jinghe wasn’t finished. As she stood up straight, he deliberately repeated himself.

“You are my woman. You’re not allowed to marry anyone but me.” Though his voice was gentle, his words revealed a heart-shaking possessiveness and a strong sense of ownership.

Meilin’s heart skipped a beat. Her gaze met his eyes but quickly darted away, burned by the intensity she saw there. Her heart surged with indescribable emotions. After a while, she managed to speak, though her voice was as faint as a mosquito’s buzz.

“I wasn’t planning to marry anyone anyway…” As soon as she said it, she realized it sounded like she was agreeing to his unreasonable demand. Feeling embarrassed, she quickly lowered her head, turned, and hurried out, not caring if he had anything else to say.

Murong Jinghe watched her flustered retreat, his eyes softening as he chuckled. But then, thinking of the audacious Wei Er’er, his gaze sharpened, filling with intense killing intent.

Meilin, her mind in turmoil, didn’t know where to go. Fearing Murong Jinghe might see her, she couldn’t stay in the courtyard. After wandering, she finally stopped in the kitchen.

“How useless…” she muttered self-deprecatingly as her heartbeat gradually steadied. Yet she didn’t realize her lips were curved upward, her brows and eyes brimming with joy.

Composing herself, she decided to boil some water for tea. As she held the water ladle, she couldn’t help but recall his words. Biting her lower lip, she wanted to smile but felt too shy. Remembering his expression as he spoke, her heart fluttered. She lowered her head, her face reddening, lost in a daze.

“He’s so good at deceiving people… How can I take it seriously?” After a while, she seemed to regain some composure from that weakening emotion, chiding herself. Yet even as she said this, the softness and sweetness in her heart didn’t diminish at all.

Fortunately, she wasn’t an overly sentimental woman. Realizing that even recalling all of that man’s despicable deeds couldn’t suppress the heart-stirring effect of his words, she stopped struggling against it. She thought, perhaps this was what people called “liking” someone.

The moment she reached this conclusion, her troubled heart suddenly settled.

Liking… Well, then, let it be liking.

Even though one had declared his ownership and the other had realized her feelings, their interactions didn’t change much. They still occasionally bickered, perhaps fuming one moment and then being tricked into an earbite the next.

Meilin truly felt that Murong Jinghe, that scoundrel, was her destined nemesis, impossible to truly anger or please. As for Wei Er’er, who had sent Old Lady Liu to propose marriage, she figured he would naturally back off, and soon put him out of her mind. With Frost’s Descent approaching and winter not far behind, they still hadn’t prepared winter clothes. She had to intensify her hunting efforts, not only to exchange for grain but also to make several thick, warm winter garments, and ideally to acquire two new cotton quilts.

She usually left before dawn and returned at noon, partly for Murong Jinghe’s sake – to turn him, address his eating, drinking, and toilet needs – and partly to drink some hot pain-relieving decoction herself, lest she faint from pain in the mountains or on the road like last time.

Since she was only gone for half a day, if the weather didn’t look rainy, she would leave the window half-open to prevent Murong Jinghe from getting bored. The villagers were simple folk who rarely locked their doors unless leaving for distant places, so Meilin would just lightly fasten the wooden gate. From outside the fence, one could see everything in the courtyard, including Murong Jinghe half-reclining by the main room’s window.

Meilin could never have imagined that on this day, after she left, an uninvited guest would come to their door.

The weather wasn’t very cold, but Wei Er’er had both hands tucked into his sleeves as he paced back and forth outside the wooden gate for a long time. Only when he saw someone passing on the nearby road did he suddenly push open the loosely fastened gate, slip inside, and close it behind him.

He was very nervous; even his breath was visible in the air. Especially when he saw Murong Jinghe in the window, his nervousness multiplied.

“You… Brother Lin… are you alone?” Feeling Murong Jinghe’s cold gaze, he instinctively tucked his hands back into his sleeves and hunched his shoulders as he approached the window, his eyes darting around the courtyard. Though he knew Meilin wasn’t there – in fact, he had chosen this time precisely because she would be absent – he couldn’t help but contradictorily hope to see her.

Murong Jinghe felt a surge of murderous intent rises within him, but he concealed his coldness, replacing it with a warm smile.

“Yes, you see, with my condition, I can’t go anywhere. It’s hard on the one inside…” he said with a hint of bitterness, appearing extremely friendly and sincere towards this uninvited visitor. However, he didn’t even invite him inside to sit. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to play along more thoroughly, but he truly couldn’t stand the body odor and didn’t want Meilin to have to wash the bedding again.

Fortunately, Wei Er’er was too nervous to notice this detail, and even if he had, he wouldn’t have cared. Like Murong Jinghe, he didn’t want to be in the same enclosed space with the other man; the pressure would have been too great.

Making small talk, he praised the tidiness of the room one moment and then commented on Brother Lin’s good fortune the next. When discussing Meilin, the man’s face showed such envy and desire that Murong Jinghe felt his chest churning at the sight. If he hadn’t been immobile, he would have already dragged the man to the latrine for a thorough washing. Yet at this moment, he could do nothing, and this frustration made his smile even more radiant and friendly.

“I do know a thing or two about Brother Wei’s intentions,” he suddenly said, feeling nauseated as he spoke.

Wei Er’er, who had been chattering away, abruptly fell silent. His small eyes bulged, revealing the bloodshot whites and the yellow, sticky discharge in the corners. With his puffed-out cheeks, he looked exactly like a toad.

Murong Jinghe inwardly cursed, then smiled bitterly and said, “It’s just that the one inside has quite a stubborn temperament. It’s a difficult situation…”

Sensing that he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea, Wei Er’er perked up, wanting to strike while the iron was hot and bring the man before him over to his side. This way, even if Meilin didn’t agree, she’d have to. Unfortunately, he was not good with words, and what he said next nearly made Murong Jinghe faint with anger.

“Ha! If Brother Lin is willing, what can a mere woman say? She’ll have to listen to you. Look, Brother Lin, you’re lying in bed all day, letting the little missy run around outside. With her looks, so attractive to others, what if…”

The smile on Murong Jinghe’s face had become impossible to maintain, but he didn’t show his anger either. His hand, hidden under the blanket, clenched tightly, not releasing even as his palm stung with pain.

“Besides, you… probably can’t perform in that area, can you? The young miss is in her prime…” Wei Er’er became increasingly animated and vulgar as he spoke, completely unaware that these words were sealing his fate.

“Good… good…” Murong Jinghe gritted his teeth, repeating “good” several times, no longer wanting to pretend.

Wei Er’er paused, his face showing delight. “Does this mean you agree, Brother Lin?”

“Good… very good…” Murong Jinghe said “good” twice more, then smiled slightly. “This is indeed a great thing. I have no objections. However…” He paused, watching the short, sleazy man outside the window looking ecstatic, then continued slowly, “However, my agreement alone doesn’t settle it. The one inside has a stubborn nature. If you can’t win her favor, you still won’t be able to get close to her.”

Wei Er’er wasn’t completely foolish. Hearing this, he quickly asked how he could please the young lady.

“She’s particularly fond of the Snow-in-Red rouge from the Seven Treasures Shop in town. It’s extremely expensive, though. I’m afraid you might not be willing to spend that much,” Murong Jinghe said calmly. After a moment of silence, he added, “If you can get that Snow-in-Red, she’ll be so pleased that she might even forgo the betrothal gifts.”

Wei Er’er, focused solely on marrying Meilin, readily agreed. After confirming the details twice and learning that only the Seven Treasures Shop sold Snow-in-Red, he hurriedly left.

Murong Jinghe watched him disappear from the courtyard, his face slowly turning cold.

“Daring to covet this prince’s woman… tired of living, are you!”

Three days later, news of Wei Er’er’s death spread through the village. It was said he had been crushed by falling rocks while sheltering from the rain under a cliff, his body so mangled it was barely recognizable. His parents and siblings were naturally grief-stricken. When they came to their senses and remembered he had previously sent Old Lady Liu to propose to Meilin, and that Murong Jinghe was paralyzed, they connected the two events and blamed Meilin. They even went to her home to make a scene, accusing her of having a hard fate that brought misfortune to men.

Meilin was bewildered by the commotion, but no one knew that on the afternoon of the second day after Wei Er’er went to town, someone had visited her and Murong Jinghe’s home without anyone noticing.

After the Wei Er’er incident, Meilin worried for quite some time, fearing that his family might come to harm Murong Jinghe while she was out. They didn’t need to do much; just setting a fire would be devastating for someone who couldn’t move. If she didn’t go out, their stored winter provisions wouldn’t last long, and they’d soon face food shortages. She couldn’t think of a good solution and considered leaving Lao Wozi Village to find a new place to live. Murong Jinghe mocked her for this.

“You’re as fierce as a wolf and as cunning as a fox. How can you be intimidated by a few country bumpkins?”

Meilin glanced at him, displeased. She didn’t think herself fierce; if she were, how could she have been chased like a stray dog? As for cunning, who could match him? Besides, if she were alone, whom would she fear? However, her throat had been uncomfortable lately, so she didn’t bother to argue.

Murong Jinghe smiled, “Do whatever you want. If I can’t handle such a small matter, then I truly am useless as they say.” “They” naturally referred to Wei Er’er’s family, who had hurled all sorts of insults that day.

Hearing the word “useless,” Meilin’s face darkened. The Wei family had been too overbearing. If she hadn’t wanted to live peacefully here, how could she have tolerated such treatment, allowing him to be bullied as well?

“What, you don’t believe in me?” Murong Jinghe, unaware of her self-blame, thought she truly saw him as useless and began to feel displeased.

Meilin shook her head without speaking, took off her shoes, and crawled under the blanket to lie beside him.

They had always slept together, but lying together in broad daylight was unprecedented. Murong Jinghe was somewhat surprised and felt a softening in his heart, forgetting his previous displeasure.

“I’ll go into the mountains tomorrow,” she said after a while. She thought that once they had gathered enough provisions for winter, she could stay home all day to keep him company and make some winter clothes. Her sewing skills weren’t the best, but she could learn from others.

Looking at his handsome features so close to her, she silently planned their future life together, unconsciously voicing her thoughts. Murong Jinghe was unusually cooperative, humming in agreement and occasionally adding a comment or two. This made her happy, feeling that even thinking about such a life was blissful. She couldn’t have known that this ordinary life, which others might find mundane, would ultimately remain just a dream for her.

The next day, Meilin went into the mountains again. Still worried, she specifically asked some hunters and friendly villagers to keep an eye on things before she left. Whether it was due to her precautions or Murong Jinghe’s methods, things remained peaceful for a few days, until she fainted from pain in the forest again.

When she opened her eyes and saw the darkening sky, she knew she could no longer continue as before.

Murong Jinghe’s insistence on staying in this remote mountain village surely had his reasons, and Meilin didn’t want to pry, just as there were things she wouldn’t tell him. However, as the dosage of her pain-relieving decoction gradually increased, she knew her body was deteriorating day by day, and the overwhelming inner energy was becoming harder to control. She had to secure his safety before everything spiraled out of control!

Her throat felt dry and uncomfortable as if something were stuck in it. She coughed twice before struggling to sit up. Several pheasants and rabbits were scattered around her, but no larger game. She had spent more than half a day, even missing lunch. Thinking of Murong Jinghe, who relied on her for meals, water, and toilet needs, she grew anxious. Ignoring her weak, aching body, she gathered the game and rushed home.

The powerful inner energy flowing through her fragile meridians felt like a thousand cuts. Sweat beaded on her forehead, gradually blurring her vision. After wiping away the sweat countless times, the outline of their fenced courtyard finally appeared in the twilight.

Before entering the yard, she saw through the fence that Murong Jinghe was still sitting by the window in the same position as in the morning, head lowered in thought. His profile was shrouded in the pale blue dusk, indistinct. Meilin felt an inexplicable ache in her heart and suddenly had a strong urge to find a way to reconnect his broken meridians, no matter what it took.

Hearing the wooden gate open, he looked up. His eyes were deep and dark, not as vulnerable as she had imagined.

“I’m back,” Meilin smiled, trying to keep her expression relaxed, showing no sign of pain. However, as she spoke, she realized her voice was hoarse and unpleasant. Assuming it was due to the pain, she decided to speak as little as possible.

Murong Jinghe didn’t respond, turning his head away and resuming his previous posture.

Meilin thought he was angry but didn’t mind. She carelessly tossed the game on the ground, washed her hands at the well, and entered the house.

After lighting the oil lamp on the table, she turned to find Murong Jinghe watching her. She thought he might ask something, but he didn’t. She silently sighed in relief, yet felt a hint of disappointment.

Walking over, she slipped her hand under the blanket. The bedding was still dry; he hadn’t wet himself due to her late return.

Murong Jinghe watched her every move intently, displeasure rising in his dark eyes. He said coldly, “I haven’t eaten anything strange. I can still control myself.” Her actions made him feel insulted, reminding him of the embarrassing incident from days ago.

Meilin’s face flushed slightly, but she didn’t retort. Instead, she widened her eyes and gazed back at him innocently. She knew she had gone too far and wouldn’t argue with him, but she also couldn’t apologize. Either way, it would make him feel awkward, so it was best not to discuss it further.

Murong Jinghe’s anger dissipated under her gaze. Moreover, it wasn’t a particularly honorable topic, so he changed the subject. “I need water,” he said.

Meilin quickly turned and poured some cool tea from the table, helping him drink it. Murong Jinghe frowned but said nothing.

“Do you… need to relieve yourself?” Meilin asked. Not being particularly fastidious about food and drink, she didn’t consider that the cool water might be the issue, even after noticing his slight change in expression.

Murong Jinghe shook his head. Though he didn’t want to speak, he couldn’t help but say, “I haven’t eaten or drunk anything all day, so it’s not urgent.” His words sounded like an explanation, a complaint, and reassurance all at once, making his meaning unclear.

“During the day… I’ll go make food now,” Meilin started to explain her absence at noon but stopped when she saw him lower his eyes, seemingly uninterested.

Murong Jinghe gave a soft “Mm,” letting her help him lie on his side. He closed his eyes, his face showing signs of fatigue.

Seeing this, Meilin decided not to say more. She picked up the oil lamp and walked out. At the doorway, she couldn’t help but look back at him, feeling an inexplicable emptiness in her heart.

Meilin had gone into town, selling her game and furs. With the silver she earned, she visited every medical clinic in the city, but no one could treat severed meridians. However, her efforts weren’t entirely fruitless. An old doctor told her about a scabby-headed quack in the countryside south of Zhongzhou who might be able to help.

Zhongzhou wasn’t far from Anyang, only about a hundred li away. At Meilin’s current pace, she could reach it in half a day. However, the quack reportedly roamed from village to village, making him difficult to find.

Meilin asked for details about the quack’s exact address, temperament, and fees, but the old doctor could only shake his head. He only knew of the man’s existence from a farmer’s casual mention.

Regardless, it was worth a try. Meilin made up her mind, thanked the doctor, and bid farewell. Before she left, the old doctor gave her a piece of advice that chilled her to the bone. In a daze, she somehow made it back to the village. Seeing the tightly closed gate, she momentarily felt the urge to turn away.

But she didn’t.

When she pushed open the gate, she even managed a smile. She tended to Murong Jinghe as usual, helping him relieve himself, changing his position, and preparing a hot bath. She didn’t mention the scabby-headed quack.

After placing Murong Jinghe in the slightly hot bathtub, she turned to leave.

“Where are you going?” Murong Jinghe asked. Usually, she would stay to help scrub his back or massage areas prone to pressure sores.

Meilin paused but didn’t turn around. She said softly that she was going to take her medicine, and Murong Jinghe said no more.

In the kitchen, looking at the medicine pot warming by the fire pit, Meilin’s heart clenched tightly. The pain was more intense and overwhelming than she had expected, forcing her to curl up by the stove with her fist pressed against her chest. It took a while before she could slowly unfurl.

Trembling, she took a bowl and poured the medicinal broth into it, then gulped it down. However, one bowl was no longer enough to combat the severe pain. She poured the remaining liquid from the pot into the bowl, leaving only the dry dregs.

When she returned to the main room, Murong Jinghe wrinkled his brow at the strong medicinal scent emanating from her. “Stop drinking that medicine. The smell is giving me a headache,” he said.

Meilin smiled faintly but didn’t respond.

Never mind his headache; after downing two bowls, she felt like the medicine would surge back up if she so much as bent over. The discomfort was indescribable. But what choice did she have? Without the medicine, she’d be in too much pain to function, and their lives would become unmanageable.

Kneeling beside the tub, she reached into the water and found it still warm. She lowered her eyes, her thoughts drifting, until Murong Jinghe’s concerned inquiry brought her back to reality.

She laughed awkwardly, saying it was nothing, then stood up and began to undress.

Murong Jinghe was surprised and hadn’t reacted before she had stripped down to her undergarments and climbed into the tub. The added body displaced water, which spilled onto the floor.

In Murong Jinghe’s memory, they had only bathed together once before, when she washed his soiled body in the small stream. He had been unconscious during the incident in the stone forest. He didn’t understand why she was behaving so strangely today, and it made him uneasy.

“Did anything interesting happen in town today?” he asked, clearing his throat as her soft body pressed against his back, trying to break the suddenly strange, silent atmosphere.

As Meilin hung her soaked undergarments on the edge of the tub and began gently wiping his back with a cloth, she slowly recounted her experience selling game in town, omitting her visit to the medical clinics.

“Game was scarce. After buying grain, there’s little money left. Tomorrow, I want to go further afield. If I can hunt a tiger or leopard, it should be enough to make winter clothes for us both,” she said.

Murong Jinghe’s heart skipped a beat, though his expression remained calm. “How long will you be gone?” he asked.

“Two or three days at most, one or two at least,” Meilin replied, her hand moving back and forth over the old scars on his back. Though her words were clear, her gaze was distant. “While I’m away, I’ll ask the hunter’s brother to look in on you. I’ll thank him when I return.”

Murong Jinghe didn’t respond. He couldn’t bring himself to ask her not to go, but he couldn’t help feeling dejected.

Meilin’s fingers lightly traced a circular, protruding scar on his back—an arrow wound. When she first washed his body, she discovered countless ugly scars hidden beneath his elegant clothes, finally understanding why he always remained clothed during their intimate moments.

“How did you get these scars?” she asked, though she could guess. Having once commanded three armies on the battlefield, how could he not have been injured? She asked because she wanted to hear about his past from his lips. Thinking back, their interactions seemed limited to bickering and scheming against each other.

“You’re talkative today,” Murong Jinghe replied, his cool tone revealing displeasure at having his privacy invaded.

The hope in Meilin’s eyes faded, but after a moment, she smiled faintly, though it didn’t reach her eyes. She said no more, suddenly wrapping her arms around him from behind, holding him tightly as if trying to grasp something intangible.

Murong Jinghe stiffened, unexpectedly recalling Wei Lao’er’s words from that day. A self-mocking smile crossed his face.

“You probably can’t… perform, can you? The young woman is in her prime…”

“Do you think…” he paused deliberately before continuing, “I can satisfy you now?”

Meilin froze, taking a moment to understand his meaning. Instead of retorting as usual, she slowly released her hold.

“In the second month, peach blossoms red and apricot blossoms white, rapeseed flowers carpet the ground, willow leaves like jade…”

In the courtyard, Meilin sang as she washed their recently changed clothes. She seemed to be in a good mood, though her voice was somewhat hoarse, lacking its usual clear, gentle sweetness.

Murong Jinghe lay on the bed, his body still faintly emanating the dampness of the recent bath. His nose was filled with a light, fresh scent mixed with medicinal notes—hers and his.

It was just past noon, a rare good weather day since winter’s arrival. The sunlight wasn’t warm but very bright. It filtered through the worn window paper onto his eyelids, gently plucking at his heartstrings like her sudden kiss earlier.

She had embraced him, still wet, as she lifted him from the water and rolled onto the kang. She kissed him, her tongue entwining with his. Despite the bitter medicinal taste, he found a strange sweetness in it.

Recalling that moment, the corners of his lips curved up slightly, and his gaze toward the outside softened in a way it never had before.

(End of Chun Hua Yan – Chapter)

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