Lin Qingye was a contradiction.

Sometimes he shone brilliantly, the most eye-catching star, making the crowd below scream and cheer with his every movement, controlling everyone’s heartbeat, dazzling and confident.

But sometimes he was also insecure, just like that snowy night when he first met Xu Zhinan.

Beneath his cold, hard, and distant personality was insecurity.

Insecure yet arrogant.

He rarely showed his insecure side; only by peeling away the layers of arrogance could one touch the innermost core.

But now it was exposed.

Because that was Xu Zhinan.

She was the girl he had written about in his lyrics—

*You are the maiden*

*I am the crawling five-legged monster*

*In the crossroads of night, spring light suddenly appears*

*You raise your gun, I become your sacrifice*

*…*

Just as Xu’s mother was about to speak, Xu Zhinan returned from taking out the trash.

It was already cold outside. She hadn’t buttoned up her coat and came running back, wrapped in cold air. She put the trash can aside, washed her hands, and noticed the freshly washed grapes nearby.

She tilted her head, smiling and asked, “Did you wash these?”

“Mm-hmm.” Lin Qingye didn’t continue their previous topic. He reached out to pull up her zipper and button her coat one by one. “Why didn’t you zip up your clothes when you went outside just now?”

“I forgot when I left, and my hands were dirty holding the trash can, so I didn’t zip up.” Xu Zhinan chewed on a grape. “What were you two talking about just now?”

Xu’s mother: “Nothing, just casual chat. Why don’t you two take the grapes and eat them outside?”

After she finished tidying up the kitchen, she also came out and asked Lin Qingye with a smile: “Since you rarely visit, would you like to see Ah Nan’s room? You’ve never seen her childhood photos, have you?”

Xu Zhinan took Lin Qingye to her room.

She hadn’t lived here for a long time. Ever since work at the tattoo shop got busy, she’d been living in that rented apartment, and even when she came home, she would still go back there in the evening if she had to work the next day.

Her mother had kept her room very tidy.

It was a very girly bedroom, with one wall full of neatly arranged books, and a small plush toy on the bedside.

“Where are your childhood photos?” Lin Qingye asked.

“You want to see them?”

“Yes, to see what my future daughter will look like.”

“…” Xu Zhinan realized what he meant, pressed her lips together, and mumbled, “What daughter?”

Xu Zhinan crouched down and pulled out several photo albums from a cabinet at the bottom shelf.

The floral prints on the album covers showed their age, but they were still well-preserved. Though the colors had faded, there was no wear and tear, showing they had been kept in good condition.

The albums contained photos of Xu Zhinan at different ages.

One could almost imagine how Xu Zhinan was treasured and held in the palms of her parents’ hands back then.

She was born and gradually grew up amid the expectations and joy of her parents and family.

Lin Qingye thought about what Xu’s mother had just said. It was easy to understand—from a mother’s perspective, she would naturally have a soft spot for her beloved daughter.

Xu Zhinan picked up one of the albums, which contained photos from her elementary school years.

She had indeed been pretty since childhood.

She was already a beauty in the making when she was young. Her baby fat was more obvious then, making her look even more adorable.

Lin Qingye looked at the photos and laughed.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I’m thinking I lucked out.”

Xu Zhinan’s lips curved into a smile: “Well, now that you’ve seen my photos, I still haven’t seen your childhood photos.”

“I have very few childhood photos, probably don’t even have albums like these. If we look hard enough, maybe we could find my ID photo from school.”

Xu Zhinan paused, then understood, and simply said: “Then we’ll take more in the future, all the way until we grow old.”

Lin Qingye smiled: “Sure.”

He flipped through all of Xu Zhinan’s albums and even took out several photos to secretly pocket them. Xu Zhinan sighed: “What use do you have for these?”

Lin Qingye joked: “I’ll frame them at home.”

“…”

After looking at the albums, Lin Qingye glanced around her bedroom, walked to her desk, where several textbooks were still placed. On the side shelf were stacks of white sketchbooks of varying heights.

There were several of them, including those from when she studied art in high school and after entering university.

If they were arranged in sequence, one would notice her clear improvement in artistic skills over the years.

Lin Qingye casually pulled out one book and opened it. These were her drawings from high school, with strokes that still showed some immaturity.

He continued flipping through quickly when his gaze suddenly caught something. He flipped back and saw a tattoo design.

The only tattoo design appearing in her high school sketchbook.

He recognized it—it was exactly the one on Su Qian’s arm.

Xu Zhinan had forgotten that she had drawn these things in this sketchbook. Before, she often had nightmares about the fire scene.

Unconsciously, it seemed she hadn’t had such nightmares for a long time.

So long that she had almost forgotten.

Xu Zhinan took the sketchbook, silently tore out that page, and threw it into the trash can.

It was all in the past.

Lin Qingye patted her head, put the sketchbook back, but accidentally pulled out several sheets of paper wedged between those books, which fell lightly onto the desk.

Colors showed through the drawing paper.

Lin Qingye’s fingertips paused, and he picked up the drawings—

There were several portraits of him.

The blue-haired look from the first “I Come for Music” festival;

Him holding many pumpkin dolls standing on the steps at dawn;

And when he won the championship of the program, holding the trophy with an unrivaled expression.

…

All of them had been meticulously drawn according to the image etched in her heart.

“When did you draw these?” Lin Qingye’s voice was a bit soft.

“During those two years when you were gone.” Xu Zhinan’s fingers lightly touched the drawings. “Sometimes when I missed you terribly, I would draw these.”

Lin Qingye couldn’t quite describe what he felt at that moment.

Even looking closely at the drawing paper, there were several spots with subtle wrinkles and some places where the colors had blurred.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that Xu Zhinan had been crying while drawing.

Lin Qingye hugged her: “Ah Nan.”

He patted her back rhythmically, as if comforting her. “I won’t let you suffer like that again in the future.”

Xu Zhinan, in his embrace with a muffled voice, couldn’t help saying: “You were the one who suffered more.”

After staying in the bedroom for a while, the two went downstairs, preparing to leave.

Xu’s mother saw them to the door, reminding them to “be careful on the road.”

“Mom, you should go back inside. It’s so cold, don’t see us off,” Xu Zhinan said.

Lin Qingye also said goodbye, adding: “Auntie, I’ll come visit with Ah Nan another day.”

Xu’s mother smiled: “Sure, you should come often, though I know you must be very busy with work now. But don’t let it affect your work.”

Lin Qingye responded with a sound of agreement.

Xu’s mother patted his shoulder: “Now that Ah Nan’s shop is far away, I can’t look after her. I’ll have to trouble you to take care of her for me.”

Lin Qingye paused, his Adam’s apple bobbing, then spoke very seriously: “Yes, I will.”

Xu’s mother looked at Xu Zhinan again and smiled: “You too, don’t take advantage of Qingye’s kindness to act willfully. He’s busy with work, and as a young girl, you should be considerate. As long as you can take good care of each other, I’ll be at ease.”

Xu Zhinan let out an “Aiya,” softening her voice, complaining yet acting spoiled: “Mom, when have I ever been willful?”

Though she said this, her face was smiling.

Her mother’s words clearly showed her approval of Lin Qingye, which made her happy.

After saying goodbye again, the two got in the car and headed home.

The journey took about half an hour. At night, there wasn’t much traffic from the suburbs back to the city center. Lin Qingye lazily held the steering wheel with one hand, while his other hand played with Xu Zhinan’s hand resting on his leg.

He seemed to be in a much better mood.

Xu Zhinan noticed this too. When the car drove into the underground parking garage, she turned her head with smiling eyes and asked: “You’re not nervous anymore, are you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I never expected you would be nervous.” Seeing his good mood, Xu Zhinan’s mood improved as well.

Lin Qingye was in no hurry to get out of the car. He turned off the engine, sat in the car with his head lowered, and continued playing with her fingers.

Xu Zhinan’s hands were beautiful, long and slender, and even her nails were a beautiful light pink.

“See,” Xu Zhinan said softly, “I told you everyone would like you.”

He smiled, a deep laugh coming from his chest: “Mm-hmm.”

After a while, Lin Qingye turned his head and asked: “Other girlfriends get jealous, why are you hoping more people will like me?”

Xu Zhinan opened her mouth: “Ah.”

Lin Qingye turned to the side, raised his hand to pinch her chin, pushing it down slightly: “Come to think of it, it seems like I’m always the one getting jealous, and I’ve never seen you get jealous.”

This guy…

Turning things around.

“With so many people liking you, how could I possibly keep up with being jealous?”

“Are there fewer people who like you?” Lin Qingye raised his eyebrows. “Why are you being lazy about getting jealous? Just because there are many people, you won’t get jealous anymore?”

“…”

What twisted logic.

Lin Qingye’s fingers caressed her chin: “Have you ever been jealous?”

Xu Zhinan thought for a moment and answered honestly: “Not now, but I have been before.”

“When before?”

“Back in university.”

Lin Qingye slightly frowned, not remembering who could have made Xu Zhinan jealous back then: “Because of whom?”

Lin Qingye had never been close to any other girls apart from her. For those girls who confessed their love to him, he would lightly reject them, and that was it, without anything more developing.

The range for Xu Zhinan to be jealous wasn’t wide, only Ji Yan.

At that time, she wasn’t familiar with the three people in his band at all, and she didn’t have much security, so she easily overthought things.

But mentioning Ji Yan’s name now would be too awkward.

Xu Zhinan pressed her lips together without saying anything.

Fortunately, Lin Qingye didn’t mind. Seeing she didn’t want to say, he didn’t ask further, just ruffled her hair: “Let’s go home.”

After this day of rest, Lin Qingye became busy again.

A few days later, he flew to another city for the next music festival.

This time, Xu Zhinan didn’t go with him. As both the shop owner and tattoo master, she didn’t feel right about taking time off so often.

Xu Zhinan accompanied him to the airport. There were too many people outside, so she stayed in the car, reminding him: “This time, make sure the ticket staff check everyone’s bags before they enter. Don’t let what happened last time happen again.”

Lin Qingye nodded: “Yes, I know.”

“When are Guan Chi and the others going over?”

“Later today.”

“Don’t stay up too late playing with them. The music festival is tomorrow, it takes a lot of energy. You need to rest well.”

Lin Qingye raised his eyebrows, smiling: “Why are you worried about my energy again?”

“…”

Xu Zhinan hit him on the arm.

Lin Qingye laughed, then obediently replied: “I know.”

Xu Zhinan thought for a moment, then reminded him: “Remember to eat your meals, don’t forget. All three meals.”

“I’m coming back early the day after tomorrow. Why are you acting like I’m leaving for several months?” Lin Qingye asked with amusement. “Don’t you think I can take care of myself?”

Xu Zhinan puffed her cheeks, speaking slowly: “I know you can take care of yourself, but when you’re alone, you get lazy. When you were in school, didn’t you often stay up late and then sleep until noon?”

“I was young then, and I didn’t want our Ah Nan to worry about my health,” Lin Qingye said leisurely. “Now I can’t do that anymore. For our Ah Nan’s sake, I need to stay healthy and preserve my energy.”

“…”

The topic was being steered back again, with him seemingly hinting at something.

Xu Zhinan didn’t want to talk to him anymore and urged: “You’d better go, you’ll miss your flight.”

Lin Qingye laughed: “Your skin is still so thin.”

After seeing Lin Qingye off, Xu Zhinan went straight back to the shop.

She didn’t have much work to do. Since she had now become a renowned tattoo artist in Yan City, her fees were also high. Generally, only regular customers would insist on having her do their tattoos, or when the designs were too complicated for Li Yan and the others to handle.

Her client base remained relatively fixed. Calculating actual working hours, Xu Zhinan didn’t work as much as her apprentices, like Li Yan.

Today she had no appointments, so Xu Zhinan sat at her desk drawing.

After completing two drawings, she pulled out a sketchbook from the shelf and numbered the new drawings before slipping them inside.

With nothing else to do, she rested her chin on her hand, lazily flipping back through the pages.

She stopped at one page, her gaze pausing as she saw again the self-portrait she had drawn during a university class.

The scene of tattooing Lin Qingye’s back that night flooded back to her.

He was quite afraid of pain. She knew this the first time she tattooed her name on his back, but she still hardened her heart and tattooed such a large design on Lin Qingye’s back.

She was too afraid then, afraid he wouldn’t come back to her in the future.

During the tattooing process, Lin Qingye didn’t cry, but she was tattooing while tears fell.

Such a large tattoo would normally be impossible to complete in one session without anesthesia; it would usually be divided into two or three sessions.

But they couldn’t do that.

At that time, they didn’t even know when the next time would be.

Xu Zhinan tattooed until dawn, crying until her eyes were red. When she finished, she threw the tattoo pen aside, her hands starting to tremble slightly.

Lin Qingye turned around. His eyes were also red, but he hadn’t cried, just held it in. His eye sockets were red from the effort.

Before they could say anything, Fang Houyu arrived in a police uniform. Su Qian’s treatment had ended, but he hadn’t woken up yet. He was there to take Lin Qingye back for questioning.

Outside, the dawn was breaking, it was sunrise.

The noisy city had not yet awakened.

Lin Qingye put on his shirt and got up, following Fang Houyu outside without saying a word.

At the police car, he turned back, looked at Xu Zhinan standing at the door, and smiled lazily: “Don’t cry, Ah Nan.”

…

Xu Zhinan reached out, lightly touching the drawing.

Her thoughts seemed to return to that time.

Just then, her phone rang. Lin Qingye had sent her a message: What are you doing?

[Xu Zhinan: At the shop. Have you landed?]

[Qingye-ge: Yes, just arrived.]

Xu Zhinan took a photo of the drawing in the sketchbook and sent it to him.

Perhaps it was because she suddenly saw this drawing from nearly three years ago again, Xu Zhinan remembered the past events, and her mood became a bit low.

Soon, Lin Qingye sent her another message with a picture.

Xu Zhinan opened it, her fingertips pausing.

Lin Qingye had sent her a picture of himself.

A selfie.

The background was inside a business car, with the car windows shaded, making the interior quite dark.

But his skin was very fair, appearing even more pale-white in the dim light. His eyes were slender at the corners, with a hint of a subtle smile.

He had taken off his jacket, wearing only a single layer, with a low neckline exposing a section of his slender collarbone, and above that was his long neck, Adam’s apple protruding, strangely alluring.

The background was blurry, and his face wasn’t very clear either, but his outstanding appearance and eye-catching features made the blurriness unnoticeable.

Xu Zhinan’s lips curled up again.

She could almost imagine how he took this photo.

He had picked up his phone, opened the front camera, casually snapped a picture of his face, and immediately put it away, making the background completely out of focus.

[Lin Qingye: Quite fitting.]

Xu Zhinan didn’t understand at first, but looking again at the self-portrait photo she had just sent, she finally got his meaning.

The self in the drawing, and Lin Qingye in the front camera.

She smiled, looked at the drawing again, lightly exhaled, and put it away.

In the evening, Lu Xihe called to ask if she was free tomorrow.

“Remember I mentioned that gathering of tattoo artists I told you about last time?” Lu Xihe asked.

“Yes, has the time been set?”

“Yes, it’s tomorrow night. Are you free? Bring the people from your shop along. I’ll send you the address on WeChat.”

It happened to be during Lin Qingye’s music festival tomorrow night. Xu Zhinan had nothing to do anyway, so she agreed and informed everyone at the shop about it, which was met with cheers.

The next evening.

The gathering time was set late, and the location was at a bar called “Wild” not far from Xu Zhinan’s tattoo shop.

The bar where Lin Qingye used to perform.

With Lin Qingye’s rising fame, the bar’s reputation had also grown, becoming even more popular than when he was still performing there. Fans would often come to visit, and even tourists from out of town would make a special trip there at night, making it more like a must-visit spot.

This was Li Yan’s first time attending such an event, and she had been excited since arriving at the shop in the morning.

“Hey, hey, hey, Master, wait for me, I need to change my outfit,” Li Yan said, pushing the door to the storage room.

Xu Zhinan didn’t know when she had placed an entire set of clothes specifically prepared for going to bars there. Soon, Li Yan came out wearing high heels and a form-fitting pencil skirt.

Others in the shop whistled and teased: “Not bad, Li Yan!”

Xu Zhinan looked her up and down, frowning: “It’s winter now, you’ll catch a cold dressed so lightly.”

“This is how you should dress. Going to a bar without dressing like this would be disrespectful to the bar.”

Xu Zhinan: “At your age, you shouldn’t even be going to bars. You’re not an adult yet. When we get there, you can’t drink alcohol, only beverages.”

Li Yan unhappily shouted: “Master!”

“Calling me ‘Master’ won’t help. If they get caught selling alcohol to minors, the bar could be fined.”

Li Yan pouted and said no more.

Today they closed the shop early. Since the bar was close by, the group walked there directly.

At the entrance of “Wild,” they saw Lu Xihe already waiting outside, waving from a distance.

Li Yan ran over and gave him a high five: “Brother Lu!”

“Wow, I didn’t recognize you at first. That outfit is impressive! I thought you were some beautiful girl coming to the bar,” Lu Xihe laughed. “Turns out it’s a beautiful little sister.”

He then said to Xu Zhinan: “Let’s go in, we were just waiting for you. Everyone else is already here.”

Since they were a large group, they had booked a private room on the second floor with an excellent view.

As Xu Zhinan entered, she bumped into someone who quickly apologized. When he looked up and saw Xu Zhinan’s face, he suddenly paused.

Xu Zhinan also recognized him—he was the owner of the bar. She had met him once when she went to the bar with Lin Qingye before.

“Ah, aren’t you…”

The bar owner hesitated, glanced at Lu Xihe beside Xu Zhinan, and tactfully closed his mouth, changing his words, “What a rare guest! Haven’t seen you here for a long time.”

Xu Zhinan was surprised that the bar owner still remembered her.

Lu Xihe knew about the relationship between Xu Zhinan and Lin Qingye, and had heard that Lin Qingye used to perform at this bar, so he understood the situation.

But Li Yan didn’t know: “Master! You used to come to bars often? I wouldn’t have guessed!”

“Not often, just occasionally with friends during university.”

Xu Zhinan nodded to the owner and went upstairs with the group.

Among tattoo artists, men were more common, but Xu Zhinan’s shop was like bringing a group of sisters from home, and all of them were beautiful.

After sitting down, Xu Zhinan sat at the innermost seat with Li Yan beside her, who had already quickly started chatting with the group.

She didn’t drink alcohol either, just a glass of water, listening to everyone casually chatting and complaining about bizarre clients they had encountered, while taking out her phone.

At this time, the music festival was happening. Xu Zhinan opened Weibo to see if there was any related information, when she suddenly noticed the top trending topic—#Lin Qingye Ji Xia#

Xu Zhinan had never heard the name Ji Xia before.

But it sounded like a girl’s name. Her fingertips paused, and she clicked on it.

The comments on this news already had high viewing numbers.

Ji Xia was the female lead in a recent campus web drama, but the drama wasn’t very popular. As a newcomer, not many people knew about Ji Xia. This connection with Lin Qingye brought her into the spotlight.

The news included two photos: one of Ji Xia entering a hotel, and another of her standing in the hotel corridor with a door opening across from her, revealing half of Lin Qingye’s profile behind the door.

His appearance was very distinctive, making him easily recognizable even in a paparazzi shot.

Xu Zhinan looked at the time of this exclusive breaking news—it was posted in the evening.

Just when the music festival was about to begin, she wondered if he had seen it.

Xu Zhinan scanned through the comments below.

“Damn it, don’t do this to me! Is it easy being a fan?!!”

“Die, all you marketing accounts!! Why are you making up rumors out of nothing? Standing at a door talking doesn’t mean anything. Show me a photo of her entering his room!”

“These two don’t match at all. Ji Xia just has a pure, clean look, but with Lin Qingye? They’re totally on different levels.”

“I advise fans to calm down. As we all know, this kind of news comes out bit by bit. Don’t ask for trouble and end up getting it :)”

…

She exited and clicked on Lin Qingye’s WeChat, wanting to send something, but after hesitating for a while, she deleted the text she had already typed.

In the private room, the topic shifted to her, and Xu Zhinan locked her phone screen and rejoined the conversation.

…

She didn’t notice that a few minutes later, a video quickly climbed to the top of the trending list, pushing aside the original #Lin Qingye Ji Xia# to take the number one spot.

The video was from tonight’s music festival, with Lin Qingye crouching at the edge of the stage.

The fan filming was in the front row, close enough to see the sweat droplets rolling down his face, his three-dimensional features becoming even more sensual from the sweat.

He crouched at the edge of the stage, holding a phone, lowering his gaze to scan through it.

The phone had a pink, diamond-studded case, probably a fan’s.

Lin Qingye finished looking, smiled slightly, and said casually: “It’s fake.”

Debunking rumors online, the video was filled with screams from the surrounding crowd.

Then he unbuttoned one button of his shirt, his wrist resting on his knee, naturally hanging down, the blue veins visible on the back of his hand, showing a smooth sense of power.

Then he lifted his chin, sweat flowing along the smooth lines of his jaw, looked at the camera and smiled, his aura absolutely explosive with desire.

He lazily picked up the microphone and held it to his mouth: “Don’t spread rumors, ok? I have a girl I like, this kind of news is too misleading.”