Having given half of yesterday’s peach slice cake to Zhou Baoying, Jiang Xuening felt somewhat dejected remembering it.

She lowered her head and eyes, following behind Xie Wei into the side hall.

Xie Wei didn’t look at her either, only calmly pointing at the qin table in the hall, saying: “Practice the qin.”

At this time, Jiang Xuening still hadn’t noticed anything.

Xie Wei had always been a man of few words, not saying many words in a single sentence—she was used to it.

Last time her mind was unsettled; this time it was slightly more settled.

After sitting down and playing through, she herself felt it was quite good and wanted to hear what Xie Wei would say.

But unexpectedly, while listening to the qin, Xie Wei watched outside the window the entire time. Only after that qin music had completely faded did he turn his head to glance at her, saying: “When starting, your mind was still too restless, playing too hastily. The middle section was slightly better, but the ending became restless again. Often when you feel satisfied, others quickly become dissatisfied. Practice makes perfect—you should become more familiar and more settled in mind.”

Jiang Xuening looked at her own fingers thoughtfully.

But Xie Wei said: “When hooking the strings, too fast, making the string sounds hurried. You must wait until the lingering sound of the previous note is nearly finished before entering.”

And so, Jiang Xuening finally vaguely sensed it—

But this discovery had nothing to do with the qin.

It only had to do with Xie Wei.

He wasn’t always smiling. That bit of smile often in his eyes was mostly politeness, but his brows and eyes only needed to soften by half a degree to always make people feel like a spring breeze.

Perfectly impeccable.

But in this side hall, he would frown, and when there were no others around, he would coldly smile while reprimanding her.

Yet today, everything had faded.

Not cold, just faint.

Though his words and actions seemed no different from usual, Jiang Xuening always felt as if he’d grown somewhat more distant, as if separated by a layer.

This thought came too quickly, too directly.

She didn’t even have time to sort through where exactly this feeling originated, much less know what clues might be traced.

Her thoughts flew away, then in the blink of an eye returned to the qin.

“Zheng…”

Following Xie Wei’s verbal guidance, Jiang Xuening tried again, but it was even worse than before—she couldn’t grasp the method.

She looked at him somewhat at a loss.

The young woman’s gaze held a bit of confusion, as if wanting to open her mouth to ask him something more, yet not quite daring to speak.

So Xie Wei thought, she seemed to have always been this way, somewhat afraid of him.

In the matter of learning the qin, speaking was never useful.

He moved, coming to Jiang Xuening’s side, gently placing that scroll of books at the edge of her qin table. Subconsciously bending down to place his fingers on the strings, however, when he leaned forward, his wide sleeves fell beside the young woman’s slender arm. He paused.

The matter of the peach slice cake returned to his mind.

What did she take him for?

Or rather, what did he take himself for?

His expression unchanged, Xie Wei directly reached out and shifted the qin to the side.

The distance from Jiang Xuening thus widened.

Lowering his eyelids, raising his fingers, plucking the strings to play that earlier passage, only then did he return the qin to her, saying: “Try again.”

This time being close, she heard clearly.

Jiang Xuening roughly understood.

She tried it, and indeed it was much better.

Only when she raised her eyes to watch Xie Wei’s figure walking past the qin table, she became increasingly certain that the feeling that had crossed her heart earlier wasn’t a misconception.

Restraint, distance.

This feeling of maintaining distance, whether compared to the smiling reprimands of the past or compared to the earnest admonitions of the past, should by rights make her much more relaxed.

After all, from the beginning she had wanted to keep away from Xie Wei.

But now, amid the relaxation, she felt something was wrong somewhere.

Yet thinking more carefully, she didn’t know specifically what was wrong.

If this short single day might still be her misconception, then over the following days, this “misconception” gradually deepened into true perception.

It was truly distant and indifferent.

The texts taught the same, the qin instructed the same. Xie Wei was still the same Xie Wei as always, still the Xie Wei that all the civil and military officials were familiar with. But he had no temper anymore. Facing such a him, Jiang Xuening didn’t even dare show that rare bit of willfulness and mischief. There were no more idle pastries and snacks to eat in the side hall. He hardly even brewed tea anymore, let alone calling her to drink it as he had before.

What was this feeling like?

Like a person stepping forward, then stepping back again, returning to the original position.

Jiang Xuening felt inexplicably uncomfortable and ill at ease.

Her intuition told her there must be something that happened in secret when she wasn’t aware, or perhaps she had unconsciously done something wrong. But their interactions altogether amounted to only so much—she truly couldn’t think of anything.

Each time facing Xie Wei wanting to ask究竟 what was the matter, she felt it would be affected.

Clearly everything appeared unchanged—where would she even begin asking?

Moreover, as the day of Yongyi Marquis Manor’s young master Yan Lin’s capping ceremony gradually approached, Jiang Xuening gradually set aside other matters, without much thought to spare.

In her previous life, she had prepared a birthday gift for Yan Lin but ultimately hadn’t been able to give it to him.

In this life, she prepared the same gift, only hoping to make up for the previous life’s regret and deliver it into that youth’s hands.

During another palace break, Jiang Xuening didn’t even have much time to check on how matters were progressing on You Fangying’s end. She directly ordered people to go to the sword forging workshop in the western part of the city.

Storybooks always wrote that precious swords must choose their master.

But in fact, those who could truly forge good swords were all craftsmen. Swords never chose whom to serve—those who could offer heavy gold were naturally the “true master.”

Very obviously, this “Miss Jiang Er” they weren’t very familiar with was precisely such a wealthy “true master.”

As early as half a year ago, the capping ceremony of Yongyi Marquis Manor’s young master Yan Lin had already caused half the capital to look forward with anticipation. Countless families with unmarried daughters of marriageable age waited for the day that youth would be capped and receive his courtesy name. Matchmakers everywhere had long prepared their registers of names, just waiting to wear down the Marquis Manor’s threshold after the capping ceremony.

However, the current circumstances were what no one had anticipated.

In just half a year’s time, the formerly illustrious Yongyi Marquis Manor that could stand shoulder to shoulder with the Xiao clan now hung by a thread, at risk of the entire household becoming prisoners at any moment. In the past, everyone sought connections everywhere, fearing they wouldn’t be on the invitation list for the young master’s capping ceremony and would be ridiculed throughout the capital. Now, however, gold-embossed invitation cards were distributed to various manors, met with either closed doors refusing to receive them or receiving them without reply, afraid of any further connection to the Marquis Manor that might bring disaster upon themselves.

The warmth and coldness of human sentiment was nothing more than this.

Among the companion readers at Yangzhi Study aside from Jiang Xuening, few had private relations with Yan Lin. Originally most planned not to go, seeking advantage and avoiding harm.

But they couldn’t withstand Shen Zhiyi wanting to go.

Not only did she want to go, she wanted to go openly and grandly.

Everyone was the Grand Princess’s companion readers. Hearing Shen Zhiyi say she wanted to go, they became somewhat hesitant. Then hearing Xiao Shu say she herself would go, the rest were put on the spot—not going wouldn’t look good either.

After discussion, everyone simply agreed to accompany Shen Zhiyi together.

This way, even if trouble arose and investigations were made in the future, it would be unrelated to the families behind them—just a group of young misses accompanying the Grand Princess.

Therefore, on the eighth day of the eleventh month, everyone traveled together by carriage, departing from the palace, going together to Yongyi Marquis Manor.

Shen Zhiyi originally said she would travel with Jiang Xuening, but just before departure was summoned by Empress Dowager Xiao. She could only let them go first while she would arrive later.

Thus, Jiang Xuening happened to share a carriage with Zhou Baoying.

After the last “borrowing pastries” incident, the relationship between the two had grown much closer. But Chen Shuyi, Yao Xi, and others seemed very concerned about Zhou Baoying’s fondness for Jiang Xuening, always afraid this little girl would be deceived and led astray by that vixen. Whether at Fengchen Hall for studies or gathering at Yangzhi Study, they always held onto Zhou Baoying, very guarded against Jiang Xuening.

Zhou Baoying was also confused, seeming not to care about these things.

As long as there was something to eat in her mouth and chess to play in her hands, she could ignore everything outside and sit quietly for an entire day without fuss.

Sharing a carriage this time, Zhou Baoying was actually dancing with joy for a while.

After all, that last time’s peach slice cake had left too deep an impression.

As soon as she got in the carriage, she hugged that large pillow and eagerly asked Jiang Xuening: “Sister Ning, they won’t let me talk to you, won’t let me come find you. These past days I’ve nearly died of craving! That peach slice cake—is there any more?”

This really was bringing up the very thing one shouldn’t mention.

Jiang Xuening had been thinking about it for several days too.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t something she made, nor something her family’s cook made, nor something the palace’s Imperial Kitchen made. These days, Xie Wei absolutely wouldn’t mention any topic besides learning the qin and learning texts, as if between him and Jiang Xuening, aside from the teacher-student relationship, there truly was no other relationship.

However…

This also seemed to be the truth.

So Jiang Xuening became even less daring to ask about anything, only fearing she’d done something wrong somewhere to anger him, or shown too much enthusiasm for matters of appetite, causing him to recall old matters and become wary of her.

At this moment sitting in the carriage, she was also somewhat helpless. Smiling faintly, she replied to Zhou Baoying: “There’s none left. That was all there was. After sharing half with you, I ate the rest.”

Zhou Baoying’s little face immediately fell.

She looked worried and upset, quietly complaining: “If I’d known, when Teacher Xie took them away, I shouldn’t have been so generous. I myself only ate a few pieces…”

“Teacher Xie?”

Jiang Xuening suddenly froze.

“You said Teacher Xie?”

“Ah.” Zhou Baoying nodded, looking somewhat confused, then pouted aggrievedly, saying: “Sister Ning, you don’t know—that peach slice cake you gave me last time, I took it back and ate a few pieces. What remained, before sleeping at night I counted them once and put them in a paper packet, wanting to save them to eat the next day. But unexpectedly, the next day when I was secretly eating outside the hall, Teacher Xie happened upon me.”

Jiang Xuening finally realized where she had gone wrong.

Zhou Baoying’s bun-shaped face still looked somewhat indignant: “I never imagined Teacher Xie was such a person! When he asked about the peach slice cake, I couldn’t not answer. Before entering the palace to study, Father taught me to respect teachers and elders, so I invited him to try some. I thought he would only take one piece—how could I know he took all the rest and even asked if there was something wrong! I myself was reluctant to eat them…”

“…”

Jiang Xuening’s long lashes lowered, momentarily somewhat dazed.

The clip-clop of horse hooves, the carriage gently swaying.

Those matters sealed in her previous life’s old memories suddenly gradually became clear in the mist.

A gentleman stays far from the kitchen—just as in some places women couldn’t enter ancestral halls—it was one of the most strict rules of aristocratic clans.

Xie Wei was a gentleman, a sage.

But at that time she was just a country wild girl. Neither knowing his identity nor understanding these ridiculous rules, hearing what those people from the manor who came to fetch her said, she never doubted, only thinking he truly was some distant cousin young master going to the capital to seek refuge with the Jiang Manor.

After encountering mountain bandits, they were stranded in the wilderness, not knowing news of others, not even knowing how to escape their predicament.

High mountains and deep valleys, like a prison.

At that time, Xie Wei’s illness wasn’t yet serious. He only looked somewhat weak, accompanied by a cough he’d had since first traveling to the capital with her, a languid appearance, not very inclined to pay attention to people.

Jiang Xuening had already learned she was the legitimate daughter of the Jiang Manor.

The other party was merely a distant relative who couldn’t be reached with eight poles.

She both feared others would think her a country girl bringing shame to the capital, and feared others would look down on her because of it. So even when in dire straits, she still wanted to order Xie Wei around, telling him to pick some wild fruits to eat, hunt some game for sustenance.

The result was naturally that she couldn’t order him around.

After falling into this predicament, Xie Wei held his qin diagonally resting on his knees, sitting on that collapsed mountain rock, watching the gradually darkening sky light between the mountain ridges.

He seemed unable to hear any other sounds.

In fact, he seemed to be contemplating something more serious than being stranded, as if entering another world. But Jiang Xuening couldn’t understand then, only thinking this person wasn’t giving her face at all. She even felt somewhat humiliated and angry.

Left with no choice, she had to go herself.

This naturally wasn’t very dignified.

But Jiang Xuening had no other option then. Her mind turning and turning, she forcibly found a reason for herself: This sickly person who looked ready to collapse after two steps—forget catching some pheasant or hare, even going to pick wild fruits, he might stumble and break his leg in the forest. At that time, wouldn’t she have to figure out how to carry this person along too? That wouldn’t be worthwhile.

So she quickly adjusted her mindset.

Thus those skills from the farm estate that were very unseemly in the eyes of capital nobles finally came in handy.

There were no fruits in the winter mountain forest.

But using both hands and feet, painstakingly constructing a trap, her luck was extremely good—she caught a clumsy gray-furred wild hare. All the way back, in an excellent mood, she carried it in her arms to the base of the mountain rock.

Mountain wilderness hares that had never seen people—when first caught, it struggled desperately.

But perhaps because Jiang Xuening held it comfortably, before long it stayed peacefully in her arms.

She couldn’t help happily showing off to Xie Wei sitting above: “Look! The rabbit I caught—isn’t it well-behaved?”

Hearing the sound, Xie Wei finally turned his head to glance at her, also glancing at the rabbit in her arms. That gaze held transcendent indifference, perhaps even a tiny bit of pity.

Jiang Xuening was still reaching out to stroke its smooth fur.

Xie Wei calmly asked her: “Make a fire?”

In that instant, her entire body stiffened.

She blinked, looking at Xie Wei, unable to process.

Because, only when Xie Wei asked this question did she suddenly remember: she caught this rabbit to eat. She and Xie Wei hadn’t eaten for some time now. Very hungry, very hungry.

She stood there not answering.

Xie Wei waited for her a while. When the sky had darkened, probably knowing she couldn’t answer, he didn’t ask again. Instead, he carefully placed that qin in a secure corner sheltered from wind and rain, then walked to the side to gather firewood and make a fire.

The fire pile blazed up.

The surrounding temperature gradually rose. The not very intense firelight spread through the night thick as ink, illuminating her figure holding that rabbit without letting go, swaying shadows cast on the ground.

Xie Wei came to stand before her.

He was much taller than her.

The firelight from beside reflected on his face, creating different brightness and shadows according to the depth of his features. In his deep dark pupils gathered radiance as he only extended his hand toward her, wanting to take that rabbit.

Jiang Xuening subconsciously held it tighter, raising her head to look at him: “Let’s, let’s eat something else. I, I’ll go hunt something else…”

Xie Wei silently observed her: “Would you bear to eat the next one?”

She stood there in a daze, not knowing how to answer.

Xie Wei’s hand still reached over.

She forcefully held that rabbit, not wanting to give it to him. But perhaps because she used too much force, hurting the rabbit, it actually bit her hand, hurting her so much she immediately let it go.

It jumped into Xie Wei’s hands.

He actually took out a short blade tightly bound to his wrist from his wide sleeves.

Only then did Jiang Xuening know this person carried a blade.

Thinking about it now, what weak distant cousin young master, what powerless scholar, would carry a blade on their person? All those who hid blades on their bodies walked the most dangerous roads, always prepared for any accident.

But she was foolish then, not thinking deeply.

Xie Wei grasped that rabbit tightly, pressed it on the rock beside him, about to use the blade.

But she stood beside him trembling.

Probably her eyes reddened.

Seeing this, Xie Wei’s hand paused. After a while, he ultimately still said nothing, carrying that rabbit far away. When he returned, that just-lively clumsy rabbit had been skinned, its internal organs removed, skewered on a sharpened tree branch, gently placed over the fire by him.

This person even found some wild tree leaf spices to sprinkle on.

Jiang Xuening hugged her own knees, sitting by the fire pile, burying her head and biting her sleeve to keep from crying.

Xie Wei finished roasting that rabbit, broke off a rabbit leg, and handed it to her.

She looked—that rabbit leg’s skin was golden yellow, even seeping out grease roasted by the hot fire, dusted with unknown spices. The torn part showed fine strips of meat. She finally couldn’t hold back and burst out crying with a “wah.”

Crying until choking, crying until hiccuping, crying until out of breath.

Xie Wei could do nothing with her.

The rabbit leg extended, no one received it. They weren’t very familiar with each other, even less knowing how to console her. He could only retract his hand and eat at the side himself without any expression.

After eating a small half, seeing she was still crying.

He stopped, watched her for a moment, then drew from his bosom a clean handkerchief, opened it, and placed it beside her.

Inside were a few pieces of peach slice cake, not many.

Just not many, kept in his bosom, wrapped in the handkerchief, much of it crushed, not looking very good.

Xie Wei said to her: “If you can’t eat that, eat this.”

Jiang Xuening was ultimately still hungry.

She also knew that rabbit must be eaten, but thinking of how it had just docilely curled in her arms, she didn’t want to eat it, didn’t dare to eat it. Though previously she found fault everywhere with this distant sickly relative, she still picked up that handkerchief and took the peach slice cake inside to eat.

That was truly the most delicious pastry she’d eaten in two lifetimes.

Sweet, soft.

Even though mixed with tears, she didn’t taste any bitterness.

But there was only so little after all.

After eating it, it instead stirred up more hunger.

So she became quite angry.

Angry at herself for being spineless, ultimately still accepting the other rabbit leg Xie Wei handed over. While continuing to cry, while gnawing the perfectly roasted rabbit meat, still sobbing as she found excuses for herself: “Who, who told it to dare bite me…”

Xie Wei sat beside quietly watching the fire. He seemed to smile briefly, then it vanished. He said nothing.

That fire pile then burned for quite a while.

The pine branches thrown in made fine crackling sounds.

Jiang Xuening actually no longer quite remembered what that rabbit tasted like, but still remembered the soft sweet taste of that peach slice cake, and also, Xie Wei’s clean white robe falling to the ground, stained with some smoky dust, dirtied with some black…

People in desperate straits can’t consider many things.

They do things they wouldn’t normally dare do, say things they wouldn’t normally say.

People are perhaps different from usual.

Facing life and death, everyone strips away those layers of false masks worn while surviving in the mortal world, revealing their truest self—perhaps the best side, perhaps the ugliest side.

But究竟, was the person real when struggling to live in brief desperate straits?

Or was the person real when busily striving in the vain mortal world?

Jiang Xuening truly didn’t know.

Seeing her not speak for a long time, looking dazed in a way that seemed neither joyful nor sad, Zhou Baoying felt inexplicably uneasy, very afraid she’d done something wrong. She carefully tugged at her sleeve, asking: “Is, is something wrong?”

Jiang Xuening’s eyelids moved. Only then did she come to her senses.

She curved her lips vaguely, her voice ethereal as she sighed softly: “It doesn’t matter.”

That Xie Wei—his pettiness truly surpassed even a needle’s point.

The carriage driver urged the horses to stop, reporting inside: “Miss Jiang Er, we’ve arrived at the sword forging workshop.”

Jiang Xuening said to Zhou Baoying: “I need to go down to retrieve something. Wait a moment.”

Zhou Baoying made an “oh” sound, obediently sitting in the carriage waiting for her.

The people at the sword forging workshop had long known she would come today to collect the sword, already prepared everything properly.

That sword was three chi and two fen long.

The blade was forged from meteoric iron, polished into wave-like blade edges. It wasn’t decorated with gems or cast with gold and silver like the precious swords Yan Lin had used before, only simply and directly displaying its sharp edge.

Once the blue blade emerged, cold light pressed upon one.

In her previous life, still ignorant of worldly depths, she only thought Yan Lin came from a military family and would lead troops in battle in the future—he should have a sword for killing.

In this life, having passed through all worldly ups and downs like dust and smoke, looking at this sword again, it revealed an all-too-appropriate, tragic cruelty.

How she wished that youth could forever be as blazing and brilliant as the sun like in the past.

But Heaven wouldn’t permit it.

The wolves secretly baring fangs wouldn’t permit it.

After the sword forger showed her the sword, he placed it in its case and handed it to Jiang Xuening with both hands.

Unconsciously, she cradled it diagonally like holding a qin.

But when she walked out the door and reached the carriage, only then did she remember—a sword case wasn’t a qin; it must be held flat.

Due to the delay at the sword forging workshop, Jiang Xuening and Zhou Baoying’s carriage only arrived at Yongyi Marquis Manor at the chen hour.

Probably because today was Yan Lin’s capping ceremony, the heavy troops that originally surrounded the manor had all withdrawn to the sides.

At a glance, it didn’t look so frightening anymore.

The arriving guests couldn’t be counted as many, but also not so few. All at the gate, they presented their cards one by one. Led inside by people assigned by the smiling steward, it was as if there was no difference from the Marquis Manor’s illustrious days of old.

Shen Zhiyi departed later from the palace but arrived at about the same time as Jiang Xuening.

Lifting the carriage curtain and seeing her, she called out: “Ningning!”

Jiang Xuening descended from the carriage holding the sword case.

Shen Zhiyi directly jumped down from the carriage, not caring that the attending palace servants’ faces turned white with fright. She went over, grasped Jiang Xuening’s hand, and ran toward the Marquis Manor’s main gate: “Come, let’s go see Yan Lin!”

Who serving in the manor didn’t recognize her?

Not one stepped forward to stop them; all made way for her.

She even asked someone serving nearby: “Where’s Yan Lin now?”

The steward smiled, his face appearing very kindly: “The heir is outside Qingyu Hall accompanying Prince Yanping and the others in conversation.”

Shen Zhiyi then knew the location.

She’d come to Yongyi Marquis Manor countless times as a child and could walk it with her eyes closed. At this moment, not willing to pause even for half a moment, she pulled Jiang Xuening running and running, around the spirit wall, through the hall, along the corridor, finally seeing people outside Qingyu Hall overlooking the water.

Shen Zhiyi then extended her hand and waved toward that direction, calling loudly: “Yan Lin!”

The people over there all looked over.

The youth originally standing with his back to them under the waterside corridor, having Qingfeng arrange a wrinkle in the corner of his brand new robe, hearing the sound now, turned his head to look in the direction of the call. Seeing them, his originally calm brows and eyes immediately brightened brilliantly like morning stars, blazing intensely, dazzlingly radiant.

Yan Lin first smiled at Shen Zhiyi: “You’ve also come to join the excitement.”

Having said this, his gaze fell on the person at her side.

Shen Zhiyi turned her head to see Jiang Xuening still standing there in a daze, so she pushed her. Jiang Xuening was pushed forward two steps, somewhat caught off guard and at a loss, standing before the youth.

Not having seen him for some days, the youth’s features had become increasingly lean and defined, also more sharp-edged than before.

But when looking at her, everything softened.

“You’ve also come.”

Those originally most intimate two words “Ningning” were quietly buried deep in his heart. But he didn’t want to call her “Miss Jiang Er” with the same unfamiliarity as others. So he simply greeted her this way.

The Marquis Manor’s precarious circumstances seemed not to exist at this moment.

He lowered his eyes to look at the case she held, smiling as he asked her: “What is this?”

Only then did Jiang Xuening react. Across one lifetime of life and death, finally holding this sword case with both hands, presenting it before the youth, gazing at him, returning his smile: “A birthday gift.”

For you.

What I wanted to give you in the previous life.

May you forever be like this blade’s edge.