Hope is Fragile
Tang Jianrui turned around in confusion. “What candy?”
Zhu Ran, sitting next to Chen Luobai, chimed in, “Someone put candy in his desk last Friday.”
“What? Someone put candy in his desk?” Tang Jianrui was interested. “Shouldn’t that be from a girl? Why is Luo Ge asking me? Are you bragging?”
Zhu Ran’s voice wasn’t particularly low when he said this.
Perhaps sensing the gossip in the air, not just Tang Jianrui, but Zhou Anran saw quite a few people in the front rows turn their heads towards them.
Zhou Anran felt her heart beating even faster than it had last Friday afternoon, feeling like it might jump out of her throat at any moment.
Chen Luobai kicked Tang Jianrui’s chair leg again, laughing as he scolded, “Bragging my ass.”
“Then why are you asking me?” Tang Jianrui’s curiosity was mixed with confusion. “How could I possibly put candy in your desk?”
Zhu Ran explained, “No, it was just two pieces.”
Tang Jianrui didn’t understand. “What do you mean, two pieces?”
Zhu Ran pointed at Chen Luobai’s desk. “Last Friday, someone put two pieces of candy on his desk. No packaging, no gift box, just two ordinary pieces of candy, casually stuffed in his desk.”
“Huh? Just two pieces?” Tang Jianrui instantly lost interest. “Then it probably wasn’t from a girl, right? When those girls give gifts to our Luo Ge, don’t they always make the packaging as fancy as possible?”
Zhu Ran said, “That’s why we’re asking if it was one of you guys who just casually gave him some to eat.”
“It wasn’t me,” Tang Jianrui shook his head. “Maybe someone put them on the wrong desk by mistake.”
It seemed that the others who were waiting to hear the gossip thought the same, as they all turned their curious heads back around.
Zhou Anran saw that even Yan Xingqian had a disappointed look on her face.
Chen Luobai had already pulled his legs back. Zhou Anran quickly pulled Yan Xingqian along as she hurried back to her seat, forgetting to even wipe down the desk and chair before sitting down. Her heart was still racing uncontrollably.
The news that someone had put two pieces of candy in Chen Luobai’s desk quickly spread throughout the class, but it seemed everyone accepted Tang Jianrui’s guess. Even Sheng Xiaowen and Zhang Shuxian were no exception.
During the second period, it suddenly started raining outside, so they didn’t go out for the morning break.
Zhang Shuxian turned around and leaned on Yan Xingqian’s desk, while Sheng Xiaowen came over and squeezed onto Zhou Anran’s chair, gossiping with them.
“Have you heard about someone putting candy in Chen Luobai’s desk?” Zhang Shuxian asked in a slightly lowered voice.
Yan Xingqian nodded. “I overheard him asking Tang Jianrui this morning, but I don’t think it could be from a girl. Who would just give him two pieces of candy? It’s probably really just someone who put them in the wrong desk by mistake.”
Zhou Anran: “…”
Sheng Xiaowen added, “I agree it’s not from a girl, but isn’t it a bit far-fetched to put candy on the wrong desk?”
“It’s not far-fetched,” Zhang Shuxian said. “Have you heard about what happened with that boy from Class 9?”
Yan Xingqian immediately became interested. “No, no, what happened?”
Sheng Xiaowen: “I haven’t heard about it either.”
“It happened at the beginning of last semester. A boy from Class 9 went to play basketball at noon instead of taking a nap. When he came back for afternoon classes, he accidentally went up an extra floor. The student who usually sat in his spot in the classroom above was absent that day, so he just sat down in someone else’s seat and fell asleep.”
Zhang Shuxian paused here, unable to hold back her laughter. After composing herself, she continued, “Then the homeroom teacher of the class upstairs came in and saw a student still sleeping after the bell had rung. She threw a piece of chalk at him to wake him up. The boy from Class 9 lifted his head, and the teacher realized she didn’t recognize him. She asked who he was and why he was in their class. The boy, probably still half-asleep and seeing an unfamiliar teacher, was also confused and asked back, ‘Who are you, and why are you in our class?'”
Yan Xingqian, who had a low laughing threshold, burst into laughter at her desk.
Sheng Xiaowen laughed and leaned on Zhou Anran’s shoulder. “I remember now, I’ve heard this story before.”
Zhou Anran couldn’t help but laugh as well.
Zhang Shuxian saw the small dimple on her cheek and reached out to pinch her face. “Anran, you’ve been so quiet today. Why do you look like you have no energy?”
Zhou Anran used the same excuse as in the morning: “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“No wonder,” Zhang Shuxian said.
Yan Xingqian wiped away her tears of laughter. “So, the candy in Chen Luobai’s desk really might have been put there by mistake.”
Zhou Anran: “…”
Not being “exposed” like in her dream last night, she felt a great sense of relief.
But the way things had turned out was quite unexpected, and she felt a slight, barely noticeable disappointment.
She wondered if those two pieces of “mistakenly placed” candy had been thrown away by him.
Zhou Anran rested her head on her arms, listening to their conversation. Her gaze inadvertently caught sight of Yin Yizhen walking in through the front door of their classroom.
The girl had tied her hair in a fluffy bun, looking bright and beautiful. She entered the classroom of another class as naturally as if it were her own, carrying a wet umbrella and a shopping bag with water droplets on it as if she had just returned from shopping outside.
Yin Yizhen walked directly to the aisle next to their row, stopping beside Lou Yiqi. She took a bottle of soda from the shopping bag and placed it on Lou Yiqi’s desk. “I bought this for you.”
Lou Yiqi’s tone seemed to carry a smile. “Thank you.”
Yin Yizhen then pointed toward the back. “I also bought drinks for Chen Luobai and Zhu Ran. I’ll go find them first. Let’s meet at our usual spot at lunch.”
Lou Yiqi: “Okay.”
Yin Yizhen then picked up her things and walked towards the back row.
Zhou Anran tugged at the sleeve of her school uniform jacket, her eyelashes lowering.
Yes, showing goodwill to someone in such a confident and natural way wouldn’t be misunderstood.
But she hadn’t intended to show him goodwill that day.
Zhang Shuxian’s voice lowered even further, and rang out: “Hey, look at the back.”
Her words gave Zhou Anran a reason to look back without arousing suspicion. She turned around along with Sheng Xiaowen and Yan Xingqian.
Yin Yizhen walked from their aisle to the back, but she didn’t stop directly beside Zhu Ran, who was sitting at the end of their row. Instead, she went around behind Zhu Ran and the others, finally stopping at the side of Chen Luobai’s desk. Only then did she take out the drinks and hand them to them.
Chen Luobai leaned back in his chair and seemed to say something to her. His voice was lost in the distance, but the smile on his face was visible.
He seemed to be smiling at her.
Zhou Anran turned back around.
She comforted herself in her heart, at least he looked happy again today, no longer as unhappy as he had been last Friday.
Although the reason for his happiness had nothing to do with her.
Zhang Shuxian whispered gossip: “Do you think she has some feelings for him?”
Lou Yiqi, who hadn’t been talking to them, suddenly spoke up. She didn’t turn around, but her tone was not good: “Why do you care about other people’s feelings?”
Zhang Shuxian’s face also darkened: “You’ve forgotten how many times you gossiped with me about her? Now that you’re good friends with her, you’re telling others not to talk about it?”
Lou Yiqi’s back seemed to stiffen: “I couldn’t care less what you talk about.”
Zhang Shuxian had quite a gossipy personality, but Zhou Anran knew she didn’t mean any harm. Previously, whether talking about Yin Yizhen or any other girl who liked Chen Luobai, she always spoke in a praising tone.
But perhaps because she and Lou Yiqi had indeed been close friends before, Zhang Shuxian didn’t retort. However, her eyes seemed to suddenly redden a bit.
Zhou Anran wasn’t very good at comforting people either.
Last Friday, her attempt to comfort him had almost become a joke in the class. Fortunately, no one knew it was her who had put the candy there.
She pressed her lips together, awkwardly trying to change the subject: “Let’s go to the cafeteria for lunch today. It’s raining too hard to go out, and I heard they’ll have duck ribs today.”
Zhang Shuxian loved the cafeteria’s duck ribs the most, and her attention was indeed diverted a bit: “Really?”
Zhou Anran nodded: “Mm, I heard the cafeteria aunties talking about it this morning.”
“Then let’s go early after class,” Zhang Shuxian cheered up again.
The parent-teacher conference that afternoon went smoothly.
Perhaps because they had been weighed down by the twin mountains of midterm exams and parent-teacher meetings for too long, the students, who had been forced to behave for a while, became restless again once the conference was over.
Within a week, Zhou Anran heard several pieces of gossip.
First, she learned from Zhang Shuxian that the class monitor of Class 5 was secretly dating their cultural and recreational committee member. Later, she heard that two girls had slipped gifts into Chen Luobai’s desk.
The identity of the gift-givers remained unknown.
However, no other girls had appeared around Chen Luobai, so those gifts were likely either quietly returned or locked away in some drawer, never to see the light of day.
After this week came the May Day holiday.
On the first day of the short break, Zhou Anran went to her cousin’s house with her parents for her cousin’s birthday.
As soon as they entered, Tuantuan pulled Zhou Anran to sit on the living room sofa to watch cartoons with her.
The little girl had her hair tied in two small buns today, looking particularly adorable. Zhou Anran took out a strawberry hair clip she had bought near the school entrance a few days ago and gently clipped it to her hair, silently apologizing in her heart.
“I’m sorry, little one. Auntie gave away the candy you secretly put in my desk.”
Those two pieces of candy had probably ended up in some trash can.
Tuantuan looked up and asked, “Auntie, what did you clip in my hair?”
Zhou Anran took out a small mirror from her bag and showed her: “A strawberry hair clip.”
Tuantuan took the mirror and looked at herself a few times, then jumped off the sofa. She trotted over to her mother on her short legs, pointed at her head with a happy expression, and said, “Mommy, look!”
Zhou Anran couldn’t help but laugh.
Her cousin steadied Tuantuan and asked, “Where did you get the clip?”
Tuantuan pointed at Zhou Anran with her little hand: “Auntie.”
Her cousin looked over at Zhou Anran with a smile: “You’re still a student yourself. Why are you buying things for her?”
“I just happened to see it at the school entrance. It wasn’t expensive,” Zhou Anran replied.
Her cousin pinched her daughter’s cheek: “Did you thank Auntie? Go keep her company.”
Tuantuan ran back with the mirror: “Thank you, Auntie.”
Zhou Anran picked her up and sat her on the sofa.
At that moment, her phone made a soft sound.
Zhou Anran took it out of her pocket and saw that Yan Xingqian had sent her a WeChat message.
Qianqian: [Remember to buy me candy!!]
Zhou Anran: “…”
Although everyone had mistakenly thought those two pieces of candy had accidentally slipped into his desk, even if he were to throw them away, he would have seen the packaging before doing so.
This brand of soda-flavored candy couldn’t be found in the school or nearby supermarkets, big or small. It didn’t seem to be a very common brand, and Zhou Anran had never seen anyone else at school eating it. If Yan Xingqian were to bring it to school, there would still be a risk of exposure.
But if she bought it, she had no reason to stop Yan Xingqian from taking it to school.
She couldn’t tell anyone about her feelings for Chen Luobai.
Even if she did, there was no possibility between them.
So it was better to let this matter remain a misunderstanding forever.
Zhou Anran lowered her head to type: [I just checked the supermarket, and they don’t sell that soda candy here either]
Qianqian: [How come they don’t have it there either]
Qianqian: [Crying.jpg]
Even through the screen, Zhou Anran could feel her disappointment.
She pressed her lips together: [I’m sorry]
Qianqian: [It’s not your fault that the supermarket doesn’t sell them, why are you apologizing?]
Zhou Anran felt guilty. She thought for a moment: [There’s a good braised food shop near my cousin’s place. I’ll bring you some in the evening, along with a few bottles of soda. What flavor do you want?]
Qianqian: [Orange!!]
Qianqian: [My mom is frying chicken legs tonight. I’ll save you a few. Come over to my place in the evening to do homework together]
Zhou Anran: [Okay]
As soon as the May Day short holiday was over, the annual college entrance exam was just around the corner.
The teachers of the senior class didn’t dare put too much pressure on the exam candidates, reminding them to rest occasionally. But no one dared to relax at this time. The teachers of the first and second-year high school students, on the contrary, were all winding up their students, constantly reminding them not to think that the college entrance exam was still far away, as one or two years would pass quickly.
So the entire month of May swiftly passed in this subtly tense atmosphere.
The day before the senior students’ vacation, after the bell rang for the last afternoon class, the broadcasting station began playing inspirational songs one after another.
From “The direction of the headwind is more suitable for flying, I’m not afraid of millions of people blocking me, I’m only afraid of giving up” all the way to “Run, proud youth.”
Whether it was because the school was organizing them to cheer for the senior students that evening, or because they were infected by the emotions in the songs, Zhou Anran and her friends didn’t bury their heads in homework as usual when they returned to the classroom. Instead, they sat together and talked about the future.
Zhang Shuxian started the topic. She was still sitting backward, leaning on Yan Xingqian’s desk, resting her chin on her hand as she asked, “By the way, what do you all want to do in the future? My dad is a firefighter, and he sometimes gets injured on missions. I want to go to medical school and become a doctor in the future.”
Sheng Xiaowen answered without hesitation: “You all know my first dream, right? To join the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and become a diplomat.”
Yan Xingqian thought for a moment, rubbing her chin: “I might want to study media. Maybe I’ll have a chance to meet my idol in the future, hehe.”
“What about you, Anran?” Zhang Shuxian looked at Zhou Anran.
Zhou Anran was also leaning on the desk. An idea welled up from the bottom of her heart and rolled to the tip of her tongue, but in the end, she didn’t dare to say it out loud.
She shook her head: “I haven’t decided yet.”
Dong Chen happened to be passing by and was called out by Sheng Xiaowen: “Dong Chen, what university do you want to apply to in the future?”
“Me?” Dong Chen stopped and answered without hesitation, “I want to apply to the Civil Aviation University.”
Sheng Xiaowen let out an impressed “Wow”: “To become a pilot? That’s cool.”
Yan Xingqian looked up at him incredulously and asked: “You? A pilot?”
“What’s wrong with me being a pilot? You look so disbelieving.” Dong Chen leaned on her desk with his hand. “Want to make a bet? If I get into the Civil Aviation University, you have to do one thing for me.”
Yan Xingqian: “Fine, let’s bet.”
Zhou Anran: “…”
Yan Xingqian’s impulsive personality was showing again.
Dong Chen hadn’t even said what he wanted her to do, and she had already agreed.
Yan Xingqian seemed to finally realize this: “But what do you want me to do?”
“I haven’t thought about it yet,” Dong Chen said. “I won’t sell you off or anything. You’re not worth much anyway.”
Yan Xingqian was irritated by his words: “I don’t believe you can get into the Civil Aviation University. If you don’t get in, you have to do something for me too.”
“Alright,” Dong Chen agreed readily.
Yan Xingqian saw his smiling face and frowned: “What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing,” Dong Chen then looked up at He Mingyu, who was sitting in the third row. “Mingyu, which university do you want to apply to?”
He Mingyu looked up, adjusting his glasses, and answered without hesitation: “A University.”
Perhaps because Dong Chen’s voice was loud, it caught the attention of others. Somehow, this small talk about the future ended up involving all the classmates present in the classroom.
“I might want to be an architect.”
“As for me, I’m thinking about joining the military.”
“I want to study finance.”
Zhou Anran took the opportunity to look back at the empty seat in the seventh row while listening to her classmates behind her.
What about him?
She didn’t know what he wanted to do in the future.
The songs from the broadcasting station hadn’t stopped, clearly reaching every corner of the classroom—
“All youth without regrets, troubles, and growth
All ideas and exuberance rushing towards the future…”
Zhou Anran listened to the song, leaning on her desk and hearing her classmates talk about their dreams. A feeling of excitement and passion inexplicably welled up in her heart.
The word “young” seemed to always be accompanied by many aspirations.
Because they still had an infinite future, it seemed they also possessed infinite hope.
She hoped she could get into the university she wanted, not let down her dreams, and also hoped to be a bit bolder in the future.
She also selfishly hoped that before she became brave enough, he wouldn’t fall in love with another girl too quickly.
But she forgot that hope is sometimes illusory and fragile.