As the second evening self-study session began, Chen Luobai had placed a pile of things on her desk, which Zhou An’ran had mostly tucked into her school bag. Her heart was still racing uncontrollably.
Zhang Shuxian pushed a notebook in front of her, on which she had written: “Tell me honestly, what’s going on between you and Chen Luobai? Was he trying to coax you just now?”
Was he trying to coax her just now?
Zhou An’ran’s mind was still in a fog, her thoughts moving unusually slowly.
Zhang Shuxian, either thinking An’ran was deliberately not answering her or equally shocked by what had just happened, took back the notebook, wrote a long string of content, and pushed it back.
“Don’t try to hide it from us anymore. The whole class saw him putting things on your desk just now. You should know how much attention he gets. Even if we don’t ask, others in the class definitely will.”
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll get Qianqian and Xiaowen to interrogate you with me later.”
Zhou An’ran picked up the gel pen on her desk, the tip hovering over the paper for a long time before finally writing just one sentence: “I’m not sure either.”
Zhang Shuxian replied in the notebook: “He wouldn’t give you things for no reason, right? And that ‘don’t be angry’ earlier was him coaxing you. I’ve never heard our school heartthrob Chen speak so gently before.”
“And you told me that chocolate was something he left behind!!!”
Zhou An’ran: “…”
Was he…
Trying to coax her just now?
Zhou An’ran’s heart was in chaos. She wrote slowly: “It’s hard to explain in just a few words. Let’s talk after self-study, okay?”
Zhang Shuxian: “You’d better come clean then, or else the three of us will ‘put you to the question’.”
She even drew an angry emoji on the paper.
Zhou An’ran couldn’t help but smile, replying with an “Mm-hmm.”
Zhang Shuxian didn’t press further for now, but Zhou An’ran’s mind was still in turmoil. It took her quite a while to barely calm down and finish all of today’s homework before the second self-study session ended.
When the bell signaling the end of evening self-study rang, Zhou An’ran, thinking she probably wouldn’t have time or the right mindset to study at home tonight, didn’t put any more books in her bag. She just reached for the bottle of cola on her desk.
Early September in Nancheng was still as sweltering as midsummer, with high temperatures even at night. After a session of evening self-study, the cola was no longer cold. Zhou An’ran used a tissue to wipe off the remaining water droplets and stuffed the cola into her school bag. At this moment, a boy in the row in front turned his head, looking rather gossipy.
“Zhou An’ran, what’s going on between you and our Luo-ge?”
Zhou An’ran’s hand stopped midway through putting away the cola, not knowing how to answer.
She hadn’t figured out what was going on.
Suddenly, a pale, slender hand propped itself on her desk, a small brown birthmark visible on the wrist.
Chen Luobai’s familiar voice sounded above her head as if helping her answer the boy in front: “If you want to know something, why not ask me directly?”
Zhou An’ran’s heart, which had just calmed down, suddenly sped up again. She couldn’t tell if it was because he was standing by her desk again, or because of his strongly protective words.
The boy in front sensed his don’t-you-dare-ask attitude too and chuckled awkwardly: “I was just kidding. I don’t want to know anything. I’m off, Luo-ge. See you tomorrow.”
With that, he grabbed his schoolbag and ran off quickly.
But the hand propped on her desk didn’t leave.
Zhou An’ran didn’t look up, but she could vaguely feel his gaze falling on her.
Not just his.
It was as if they had returned to the moment before the second evening self-study began, when he was placing things on her desk one by one, gradually attracting the attention of the whole class. Curious gazes were cast in their direction, yet not daring to be too blatant.
Just like now.
Zhou An’ran’s hand was still unconsciously gripping the cola can. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the water droplets she hadn’t wiped clean from the can, or if her palm was sweating, but there was a slight dampness. Then she heard the boy’s voice above her head again.
Still very low, and seemingly tinged with a smile.
“Still angry?”
Zhou An’ran shook her head.
How could she possibly still be angry?
Moreover, she hadn’t been angry with him in the first place, just slightly annoyed.
Chen Luobai: “Didn’t bring your phone?”
?
Why did he suddenly ask about her phone?
Zhou An’ran usually didn’t bring her phone, so she instinctively nodded but then remembered that she had specially brought her phone today because of the birthday banquet, so she hurriedly shook her head.
Chen Luobai was amused by her behavior: “So did you bring it or not?”
Zhou An’ran, not knowing why, couldn’t help but look up at him: “I usually don’t bring it, but I did today.”
The smile at the corner of Chen Luobai’s mouth froze slightly: “You brought it but didn’t reply to my message?”
Zhou An’ran: “…?”
“Did you send me a message? I put my phone on silent.”
As she spoke, she finally let go of the cola can and reached to unzip her schoolbag to find her phone. The hand that had been propping on her desk suddenly lifted high, then gently fell on top of her head, ruffling her hair.
Zhou An’ran’s movement to find her phone stopped.
Her thoughts stopped too.
She looked up at him again, dazed.
Chen Luobai’s lips seemed to curl up again. The hand that had just ruffled her head was now tucked into his school uniform pocket, the schoolbag hanging on his right shoulder swaying slightly with this movement: “Check it when you get home. I’m off.”
*
By the end of the second evening self-study session, it was already quite late. So when Sheng Xiaowen heard about tonight’s events from Zhang Shuxian, she didn’t linger at school. The two agreed to interrogate her online after getting home and then went their separate ways. Yan Xingqian, as the supervisor, even came directly to her house to sleep over.
Zhou An’ran had never intended to hide anything from them, but she just didn’t know how to bring it up. Tonight was a good opportunity to roughly tell them what happened.
After listening, Yan Xingqian reached out and pinched her flushed face: “Well, well! I knew something was up when you suddenly started watching CBA with Uncle Zhou last year after showing no interest all these years. So it was because of him. And you’ve been hiding it from me for so long!”
Zhou An’ran, blushing, pleaded with her: “I’m sorry, I was just too embarrassed to say it.”
Yan Xingqian reluctantly let go: “I want milk tea tomorrow.”
Zhou An’ran covered her face: “I’ll buy it for you guys tomorrow.”
Zhang Shuxian sent a message in their small group chat: [So the situation now is that you’ve liked him for quite a while, but you’re not sure how he feels, right?]
Zhou An’ran, half-leaning against the headboard, replied: [Mm-hmm]
Sheng Xiaowen: [I feel like he might have some feelings for you]
Sheng Xiaowen: [Chen Luobai is so good at keeping his distance from girls, he must know how ambiguous his behavior tonight was, right?]
Zhou An’ran’s heart was still in chaos.
Zhou An’ran: [But so many beautiful and excellent girls like him]
Zhou An’ran: [How could it be possible?]
Zhang Shuxian: [Baby, you’re beautiful and excellent too, okay?]
Zhang Shuxian: [And liking someone is about feelings, not anything else]
Zhang Shuxian: [And!! ]
Zhang Shuxian: [He even did a head pat on you tonight!!!]
Zhang Shuxian: [How can one not think too much about this!!!!]
Zhou An’ran’s face, which had just cooled down, flushed again.
She could still feel the sensation of the boy’s hand on her hair.
Zhou An’ran: [But I don’t dare to think too much]
She wasn’t even mentally prepared to be friends with him.
How did the progress bar suddenly move forward so much?
Sheng Xiaowen: [Then don’t think too much for now]
Zhang Shuxian: [?]
Zhang Shuxian: [Why did you suddenly change your attitude?]
Sheng Xiaowen: [I just feel that Chen Luobai isn’t a passive personality]
Sheng Xiaowen: [If he likes An’ran, he’ll take the initiative]
Sheng Xiaowen: [An’ran should just wait and see for now]
The group chatted for a while longer, and it was close to midnight when they went offline to sleep.
Yan Xingqian had always been carefree. After Zhou An’ran turned off the lights, she grumbled a few more times about how An’ran had kept this from her for so long, then quickly fell asleep.
But Zhou An’ran was wide awake.
She switched her phone to silent mode and opened his chat window again.
In the evening, Yan Xingqian had dragged her home to get a change of clothes, then came with her to her house. After showering, the three of them started interrogating her online, so she hadn’t had a chance to properly look at the messages he sent in the evening.
C: [Still angry?]
C: [What else do you like to eat? I’ll bring you more tomorrow.]
C: [Are you ignoring me?]
These three messages were sent during the evening self-study.
There were several minutes between each message as if he had been waiting for her reply at the time.
There was one more message sent about an hour ago.
C: [Have you eaten the stuff yet?]
Zhou An’ran opened the virtual keyboard, intending to reply, but caught sight of the time – it was past midnight. Her fingertips hesitated.
Remembering how his mood seemed to drop slightly earlier when he mentioned her not replying, she wavered for a moment before sending a response.
Zhou An’ran: [Not yet]
His reply popped up instantly.
C: [You’re still awake?]
Zhou An’ran: [Mm-hmm]
Zhou An’ran: [Why are you still up to?]
Even without reading too much into it, given his behavior tonight, asking him this shouldn’t be overstepping, right?
C: [Finished a set of practice papers]
C: [And also]
Zhou An’ran waited a few seconds, but no follow-up message came. She felt a bit puzzled.
Zhou An’ran: [And also what?]
C: [And also waiting to see when someone would finally reply to my messages]
Zhou An’ran’s heart suddenly sped up again.
Was he talking about her?
Zhou An’ran: [I’m sorry]
Zhou An’ran: [Yan Xingqian is staying over tonight, we were chatting just now]
After sending it, she felt a twinge of regret.
What if he wasn’t talking about her?
Fortunately, his message popped up first.
C: [I’m the one who made you angry, why are you apologizing?]
Zhou An’ran let out a small sigh of relief.
Because I like you.
I don’t want you to be unhappy, and I don’t want there to be even the slightest misunderstanding between us.
But Zhou An’ran couldn’t be sure of his thoughts, and for now, she didn’t dare take even the slightest risk.
She pursed her lips and changed the subject: [The ice cream melted]
After he said that he had placed a line to her earlier, the class bell rang.
She didn’t dare eat during self-study, so it sat on her desk for a class period and was completely melted when she took it out.
C: [So what if it melted]
His tone seemed unconcerned.
Zhou An’ran felt inexplicably disappointed.
But before she could wonder why she felt disappointed, his next message invaded her vision.
C: [I’ll buy you another one next time]
In the dim bedroom, Zhou An’ran saw her lips slowly curling up into a smile, reflected on her phone screen.
*
Perhaps because quite a few people had overheard his strongly protective words the night before, when Zhou An’ran went to the classroom the next day, she could feel many curious or scrutinizing gazes directed at her. But no one came to directly gossip with her anymore.
The following period was like before – endless classes day after day, along with never-ending homework and test papers.
But it seemed like something was different from before.
For instance, one afternoon when she returned to her seat to do homework after lunch, a cup of milk tea suddenly appeared before her eyes. The hand holding it had distinct knuckles, with a familiar small birthmark on the wrist.
The voice carried that familiar lazy tone.
“Bought too many, help me drink one?”
Or another day when she was carrying her water bottle out the back door to fill it, passing by the second row of the second group, a long leg stretched out to block her path. She had to look up, her gaze meeting a pair of smiling black eyes.
The boy’s gaze slowly moved down from her face to her hand.
“Going to get water?”
Zhou An’ran nodded.
Chen Luobai reached for the empty cup on his desk and held it out to her: “Get some for me too?”
Zhou An’ran nodded again and reached out to take it.
But he pulled his hand back.
As she widened her eyes slightly in confusion, wondering if he was teasing her again, the corner of the boy’s lips curled up slightly. He stood up from his seat with the cup and jerked his chin towards the door.
“Let’s go together.”
Another example was one evening after self-study ended, as she was walking out of school with Yan Xingqian. Someone tugged on her backpack from behind, the force pulling her back two steps, almost bumping her into a familiar embrace.
She didn’t need to turn around to guess who it was.
“What are you doing?”
Chen Luobai let go of her backpack and walked to her side.
The boy’s features were even more defined in the night, still handsome enough to make one’s heart skip a beat at first glance.
His tone was still lazy, with a hint of a smile: “What else? Just saying hi.”
Who says hi like that?
Zhou An’ran grumbled silently to herself.
But somehow, the night air seemed sweet.
Zhou An’ran could sense that she had somehow become a special presence by his side.
Special enough that when their classmates later saw them interacting, they were no longer surprised or curious like before.
But whether this special treatment went beyond friendship, she couldn’t be sure.
September passed quickly, with just a tiny tail end remaining.
The day before the National Day holiday, the temperature in Nancheng was still terrifyingly high.
Zhou An’ran’s lunch was a bit salty, and the water bottle she had filled at noon was empty by the end of the first-afternoon class.
Zhang Shuxian was busy finishing homework, her cup still full, so Zhou An’ran didn’t bother her as usual. As she went out the back door, her gaze fell on his seat in the sixth row, more naturally than before.
But he wasn’t in his seat.
Zhou An’ran didn’t think much of it and headed to the water room.
Maybe because there wasn’t much time left before class, there was only one person in the water room.
Zhou An’ran walked in and found that the person getting water was Lou Yiqi.
Lou Yiqi had just finished filling her bottle. She turned off the tap and turned around.
Zhou An’ran gave her a slight nod, intending to go fill her bottle, but Lou Yiqi suddenly spoke up.
“What exactly is your relationship with Chen Luobai now?”
Zhou An’ran’s gaze met hers, finding Lou Yiqi’s look particularly complex.
For this period, apart from studying, most of her remaining thoughts had been on a certain person. Only now did she suddenly realize that she hadn’t seen Lou Yiqi hanging out with Yin Yizhen this semester.
Yin Yizhen hadn’t appeared in their classroom either, and Zong Kai was spending less and less time around Chen Luobai.
Perhaps seeing that she didn’t immediately answer, Lou Yiqi’s expression turned a bit ugly, her gaze growing even more complicated.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? You don’t think he likes you just because he treats you to some food, do you?”
Zhou An’ran could somewhat guess her thoughts. Having experienced unrequited love herself, she wasn’t particularly angry hearing this, but she couldn’t be happy either. She just pursed her lips and said softly, “We’re not that close, are we?”
Lou Yiqi hadn’t expected her to retort, especially not in this “whatever our relationship is, it’s none of your business” way that left her at a loss for words. She paused for a second.
“I’m just reminding you, don’t think too much of it.”
With that, she didn’t linger any longer and walked straight out of the water room.
But after just a few steps out the door, Lou Yiqi’s footsteps suddenly halted.
A tall boy was leaning lazily against the wall outside the water room, looking over at her with an expressionless face. He usually loved to smile, with deep-set eyes and pitch-black irises, but when not smiling, he always seemed a bit cold.
His tone was cold too.
“How come you seem to know better than me who I like or don’t like?”
Lou Yiqi’s heart clenched. Her lips quivered a few times, but in the end, she couldn’t say any words of explanation. Finally, she could only lower her head and hurry away.
In the water room.
Zhou An’ran finished filling her bottle and slowly turned off the tap, feeling inexplicably dejected.
Although she had retorted earlier, she knew Lou Yiqi wasn’t wrong. Even if he treated her to food and was closer to her than to others, it didn’t necessarily mean he liked her.
Zhou An’ran was about to turn and leave when her water bottle was suddenly snatched away.
Without turning around, she knew who it was. Only one person would do something like this.
Sure enough, the next second, a familiar empty cup was placed in her hand, and the boy’s familiar voice sounded behind her.
“Fill this one for me too.”
Zhou An’ran said “Oh” and obediently took his cup, turning the tap on again.
After filling it and just putting the lid on for him, the bottle was snatched away again.