The arcade was bustling as usual on Friday night.
At the basketball machine, Chen Luobai gripped the ball, tossing one after another into the hoop. The young man was dressed all in black, his profile smooth and his nose high-bridged, looking exceptionally handsome. His quick and accurate shooting soon attracted a crowd of onlookers, both male and female.
Among them, a guy in a blue T-shirt, impressed by Chen Luobai’s perfect accuracy, curiously asked, “Hey bro, you’re so accurate. Got any tips?”
Chen Luobai continued shooting without even glancing over.
Seeing Blue T-shirt’s awkwardness, Zhu Ran explained, “He’s in a bad mood lately and hardly talks to anyone. It’s not personal.”
Blue T-shirt examined Chen Luobai closely, noticing his tightly clenched jaw and lips pressed into a thin line. He ventured a guess, “Heartbreak?”
Zhu Ran considered for a moment: “Something like that.”
Blue T-shirt gave Chen Luobai another careful look and chuckled, “If someone who looks like that can get dumped, I guess I shouldn’t feel so bad about my crush rejecting me.”
Zhu Ran thought to himself: “…Maybe you got rejected because you ran your mouth.”
Ignoring the Blue T-shirt, Zhu Ran turned to stop his friend, “Alright, enough. You’ll hurt your hand if you keep going. I invited you out to have fun, not to torture yourself.”
Leaving the arcade, Zhu Ran and Chen Luobai went to a nearby late-night eatery. Knowing his friend disliked noisy environments while eating, especially given his current mood, Zhu Ran requested a private room from the waiter despite there being just the two of them.
While waiting for their food, Zhu Ran opened a bottle of cola and passed it to Chen Luobai. “Aunt Fang didn’t stop you. You decided not to transfer schools because you were worried about affecting her. So why put on such a miserable face?”
Chen Luobai hooked his finger through the can’s pull tab without responding.
Zhu Ran continued, “I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a while, but I’m not sure if I should.”
Chen Luobai didn’t even lift his eyelids: “If you shouldn’t, then don’t.”
“No, I have to ask or I’ll burst,” Zhu Ran kicked Chen Luobai’s chair. “Are you sure you like Zhou An’ran, and it’s not just because of that day…” Zhu Ran trailed off, hesitant to bring up the specifics of why Zhou An’ran had transferred schools, fearing it might upset Chen Luobai further. He vaguely continued, “You know, that you felt touched and guilty because of that?”
Chen Luobai finally looked up at him: “What about before that?”
Zhu Ran was puzzled: “What do you mean, before that?”
Chen Luobai didn’t deny feeling touched and guilty, but, “From middle school until now, have you ever seen me voluntarily talk to any girl or offer a drink to any girl for no reason?”
Before the feelings of being touched and guilty, he had already been attracted to her without realizing it. Or perhaps it was because he was unknowingly attracted to her that the incident with Zong Kai slipping a love letter into her book happened in the first place.
“Besides, if it wasn’t for her, I probably wouldn’t have admitted to writing the love letter that day.”
Even now, Chen Luobai wasn’t sure what he had been thinking that day. It seemed he couldn’t bear to see her being questioned like that, couldn’t stand to see her cry. He wasn’t sure if this counted as concern clouding his judgment.
But he was certain that if it had been any other girl in that situation, he would have handled it more rationally. He would have stepped in to help, but he wouldn’t have unconsciously said something as suggestive as “I wrote the love letter for her.” Just as he had never voluntarily offered a drink to any other girl besides her.
None of what followed would have happened if not for that.
Teacher Lao Zhao’s sudden appearance had been completely unexpected for all of them.
Chen Luobai fiddled with the cola’s pull tab, suddenly recalling that day in the small supermarket when he handed her a drink. The girl’s eyelashes had trembled violently, and at the time he had just thought she was timid.
His fingers tightened on the can as he looked up at Zhu Ran: “How did you feel when you first saw my sister?”
Zhu Ran didn’t know why Chen Luobai had suddenly brought up Yu Bingqin, but he didn’t even need to think carefully about the answer to this question. The feeling of seeing Yu Bingqin for the first time was still vivid in his memory: “She was so cool. I wanted to get to know her, to understand her. I was unconsciously drawn to her.”
Chen Luobai: “What if shortly after, you suddenly discovered that she had liked you for a long time, had been doing many things for you behind the scenes, and even protected you at her own expense?”
Zhu Ran imagined the scenario and couldn’t help but mutter, “…Damn.”
He’d probably be hopelessly in love for life.
“Do you understand the difference now?” Chen Luobai asked him.
Zhu Ran nodded: “I get it.”
The same action, when done by an ordinary person versus someone you already have feelings for, has a completely different effect.
Moreover, Zhou An’ran was the opposite of Yu Bingqin – she seemed gentle and in need of protection. Being shielded by such a girl would create an even greater sense of contrast and emotional impact.
Zhu Ran understood now but felt increasingly overwhelmed. He wasn’t good at comforting people, so he could only say dryly, “Well, everything’s already settled and can’t be changed. Since you don’t want to affect her and have already found someone to look after her, why don’t you just focus on studying together from afar? After all, her grades are pretty good too, and I heard she’s been improving. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up at the same university.”
After speaking, Zhu Ran carefully observed the person next to him, noting that his expression was no longer as cold and gloomy as before. He felt slightly relieved.
“Want to invite Rui Rui and the others to play ball tomorrow?” Zhu Ran suggested.
Chen Luobai completely detached the pull tab: “You guys go ahead. I’m going to Wu City to see her.”
“Huh?” Zhu Ran was stunned again, “There’s no school tomorrow. Where are you going to see her? She might not even leave the house on a day off.”
Chen Luobai: “I’ll try my luck.”
*
Chen Luobai had good luck the next day.
In mid-October, Wu City, like Nan City, was still swelteringly hot.
Chen Luobai arrived outside Zhou An’ran’s residential complex just before 8 AM. Soon after, he saw the girl come out from inside. She was wearing a little pinafore dress and seemed to have lost some weight. Her face was barely the size of a palm, and the little rabbit charm he had given her dangled from her backpack, swinging with each step she took.
As she exited the main gate, an elderly lady was just entering, pulling a small cart.
Chen Luobai noticed that Zhou An’ran didn’t rush to close the gate. Instead, she pulled the iron door open to its widest point. As the old lady entered, Zhou An’ran reached out to help steady the cart.
The old lady probably thanked her as she passed through. Zhou An’ran gave her a sweet smile before finally closing the iron gate.
Chen Luobai waited until she had walked quite a distance before adjusting the black baseball cap on his head and slowly following her.
Wu City’s subway was still under construction.
If Zhou An’ran were to take a bus, it would be difficult for him to continue following her.
Chen Luobai wasn’t sure how she would react if she discovered him, but he was certain he didn’t want to make her cry again.
Fortunately, Zhou An’ran didn’t stop at the bus station. Instead, she walked to a nearby shopping mall. At the mall, she took the elevator to the fourth floor and entered a bookstore.
The bookstore had floor-to-ceiling windows. She chose a seat by the window, and Chen Luobai decided not to enter. He found an inconspicuous spot across from her and leaned against the wall.
The girl took off her backpack, pulled out some books and placed them on the table, then used a hair tie to put her hair up.
Er Zhong didn’t allow girls to have long hair, but Wu City No. 1 High School had no such rule. However, she hadn’t been there long enough for her hair to grow out much. When she tied it up, there was only a small tuft at the back. As she lowered her head, a strand fell loose.
Zhou An’ran retied her hair, then bent her head to focus intently on her book.
Chen Luobai stood across from her, watching.
Over the next half hour, he saw two of her friends successively enter the bookstore and sit down beside her. One of them was the girl named Cen Yu, whom Yu Bingqin had asked to look after Zhou An’ran.
But now it seemed that she and Cen Yu were getting along very well. As soon as Cen Yu arrived, she affectionately hugged Zhou An’ran’s arm and chatted with her cheerfully for a while before they both returned to their books.
Chen Luobai recalled the day Zhou An’ran transferred schools, how her close friends at Er Zhong had been devastated, each more upset than the last.
People around her seemed to be particularly fond of her.
Perhaps because her hair was indeed short, Chen Luobai noticed that unruly strands fell loose three times in that half hour. She didn’t seem to get irritated by it, slowly tucking it back each time without taking her eyes off her book.
But when the hair fell for the fourth time, she suddenly looked in his direction.
Chen Luobai hastily stepped back.
A few seconds later, he realized she wasn’t looking at him.
Zhou An’ran was looking at a little girl, about five or six years old, near the escalator.
The little girl was half-squatting in front of the escalator, her short arm reaching between two steps. Zhou An’ran, seeing this from the bookstore and likely feeling it was unsafe, came out to gently pull the little girl back. As she spoke to the child, she maintained her usual gentle demeanor, with an added touch of tenderness.
The little girl had probably dropped something between the escalator steps. She pointed, and Zhou An’ran crouched down to retrieve the item and return it to her.
Probably concerned about the child being alone in the mall, Zhou An’ran seemed to ask about her parents. The little girl pointed to a woman in a store uniform standing at the entrance of a stationery shop next to the bookstore.
Appearing reassured, Zhou An’ran didn’t say much more. She ruffled the little girl’s hair and then returned to the bookstore.
Chen Luobai’s gaze followed her back to the bookstore, watching as she sat down and resumed her focused reading.
He stared at her for a moment, noticing that strand of hair fall loose again.
Chen Luobai adjusted his baseball cap and turned to enter a nearby accessory shop, where he selected a few small hair clips.
As he exited the accessory shop and returned to his original spot, a toy ball rolled to his feet.
Chen Luobai bent down to pick it up, seeing the little girl from earlier bouncing towards him, her hand outstretched.
“Big brother, my ball,” she said.
“Little one,” Chen Luobai looked down at her, “Can you help a big brother with something?”
The little girl looked up at him: “What kind of help?”
Chen Luobai held the toy ball in one hand and pointed towards the bookstore with the other: “That big sister helped you pick up something earlier, right? Can you help Big Brother give her a gift? Just say it’s from you.”
The little girl followed his gesture, glancing back before turning to him again: “Big brother, why do you want to give big sister a gift? Is she your girlfriend?”
Chen Luobai’s lips curled slightly: “You even know what a girlfriend is?”
The little girl’s eyes sparkled mischievously: “Of course I know! It’s when people live together and give each other gifts, like my mom and dad.”
Chen Luobai chuckled, but his smile quickly faded: “The big sister isn’t my girlfriend.”
The little girl looked puzzled: “Then why do you want to give her a gift?”
“Never mind,” Chen Luobai glanced at the small hair clips in the bag, then handed the toy ball back to her. “You’re too young. If I let you take it over, she probably wouldn’t accept it anyway.”
*
Chen Luobai eventually mailed the hair clips to Cen Yu, to be given to Zhou An’ran in Cen Yu’s name.
After that, Chen Luobai would visit Wu City every so often. With their busy academic schedules and overlapping class times at their respective schools, he didn’t have many opportunities to see her.
But her gentle nature worried him. He feared there might be areas where Cen Yu couldn’t take care of her adequately. Fortunately, each time he visited, apart from noticing she seemed to have lost more weight, there were no other abnormalities.
At school, he would occasionally hear people mention her.
He heard that she and Zhang Shuxian became friends because one day after Zhang Shuxian had an argument with someone and skipped lunch, Zhou An’ran, who was just a regular classmate at the time, brought her a cake when she came back.
He heard from a boy in class that she had lent him a pen during an exam.
He heard from a girl in class that during last year’s sports meet when she got scratched, Zhou An’ran brought her iodine swabs and Band-Aids.
…
Chen Luobai later realized that she had always remembered the few times he had casually helped her.
But his casual help was a habit instilled in him since childhood by Fang Jin. Her gentleness and attentiveness, on the other hand, seemed more like an innate part of her nature.
Because of her introverted and quiet personality, she might not have stood out as much at first compared to more outgoing and lively girls.
But once you noticed her, you’d discover a warm, luminous light about her that you couldn’t look away from.
Being liked by her, and discovering her feelings for him before it was too late, was his good fortune.
He realized just how deeply he had fallen for her in the second semester of their senior year.
It was early March. Due to different holiday schedules, Wu City No. 1 High School had make-up classes that Saturday. Chen Luobai arrived early outside her school. At around the usual time, he saw her walking slowly towards him with her backpack, sporting an especially silly new hairstyle.
She must be very sensitive to cold; she’d let her hair grow long in winter and cut it short again when the weather warmed up.
In the second semester of their junior year, she had cut it short once before. That haircut wasn’t great either, but not like this time – it was bad enough to affect her appearance.
“What kind of girl do you like?” Chen Luobai had been asked this question countless times by countless people.
Back then, when he had nothing better to do, he had casually imagined it, but because he didn’t put much thought into it, he never came up with a definitive answer.
But at that moment, he realized that love has no standards.
It’s being unconsciously drawn to her.
It’s finding her unbearably cute even when she has a ridiculously silly haircut.
Or rather, Zhou An’ran was his standard.
Senior year was hectic, but Chen Luobai still tried his best to make time to see her. He watched as her hair grew long again, no longer looking so silly. He noticed she seemed to have lost more weight. He saw her studying vocabulary from a small book while queuing to buy milk tea with her friends.
At the end of May, close to the college entrance exams, he squeezed out time for another trip to Wu City, wanting to see her one last time before the exams and check on her condition.
But that day, his luck didn’t seem to be very good.
Chen Luobai arrived at Wu City No. 1 High School in the afternoon, just as classes were ending. Soon after, he saw her friends coming out arm in arm, but she wasn’t among them.
His heart tightened a little, worried that something unexpected might have happened.
Fortunately, at that moment, another girl called out loudly: “Why is it just you guys? Where’s Zhou An’ran?”
Chen Luobai took a few steps forward and heard Cen Yu reply: “She’s gone crazy with studying. There was a problem she couldn’t solve, so she refused to come down for dinner. She asked us to bring her a sandwich later.”
Chen Luobai felt relieved.
He couldn’t help but wonder if he would be able to solve the problem that was troubling her.
Chen Luobai looked at the bustling school gate, debating whether to try to find a way in.
But his luck was bad today, and he was afraid he might run into her directly.
With the exams so close, he didn’t want to affect her emotions.
Though he wasn’t sure if he could still affect her emotions at all.
The sunset in Wu City was beautiful that day. Chen Luobai guessed she would like it if she came out to see it, so he took a few photos before leaving.
The next few days passed smoothly, and the college entrance exams ended without incident. He calmly achieved the top science score in the southern province, yet his heart remained unsettled.
Over these two years, he had somewhat witnessed how hard she had worked.
He didn’t want her efforts to be wasted in the slightest.
Fortunately, the news from Yu Bingqin was good – Zhou An’ran had scored 695 points.
Chen Luobai had already decided to apply for law school at A University. Even knowing her high score, he didn’t try to find ways to guide her to apply to A University. She had worked so hard these two years; she must have her own goals to strive for. He hoped she could shine on the path she chose for herself.
A University’s law school was currently ranked first overall in the country, and he wouldn’t lower his standards to choose another school for her sake. Given her nature of always considering others, if he were to do that, it would probably bring her pressure rather than gratitude.
After all, the school wouldn’t be a barrier. No matter where she went, he could always find her.
Perhaps there was still an unfinished connection between them.
In the end, Zhou An’ran applied to A University, just like him.
After everything was settled, Chen Luobai unexpectedly learned that she was planning to treat Zhang Shuxian and a few others to dinner at a recently famous restaurant in Wu City.
On the day he went to Wu City to find her, Zhu Ran pestered him to come along.
Zhu Ran thought he was going to confess to Zhou An’ran, but that wasn’t the case.
Back then, she had been too scared to even talk to him. Chen Luobai feared that a sudden confession might frighten her. He planned to first return to her side as a classmate or friend, then gradually progress from there.
But he hadn’t expected to overhear that sentence.
To hear her tell her friend that she no longer liked him.
The “chance encounter” plan came to an abrupt end.
Chen Luobai wasn’t sure if appearing before her, knowing she no longer had feelings for him, would be considered a disturbance.
After returning to Nan City, he was in low spirits for a while.
All travel plans were canceled. Apart from going out to get his driver’s license, he spent the rest of his time cooped up at home reading books.
But while learning to drive, he thought of her.
While reading books, he thought of her.
Even when he wasn’t doing anything, he thought of her.
Even in his dreams, she was there.
In mid-August, Chen Luobai made another trip to Wu City.
He stayed at his uncle’s house for a few days, unable to make up his mind about whether to go see her again.
Knowing that she no longer liked him, secretly going to see her like before didn’t seem appropriate.
On the fifth day in Wu City, his aunt asked him to accompany her shopping. Chen Luobai knew she was worried he might be bored at home, and not wanting to disappoint his elder’s good intentions, he listlessly went along.
It was still unbearably hot weather, but his luck seemed to have turned good again.
He arrived at the first floor of the shopping mall at 6:40 PM.
At 6:42 PM, Zhou An’ran also appeared on the first floor of the mall.
The girl was wearing a little black dress, similar to what she wore when she brought him medicine in their sophomore year. Perhaps because the college entrance exams were over, she hadn’t cut her hair short again, instead tying it up in a high bun.
Not knowing if she had arranged to meet friends, she looked around as she entered. At that moment, a little boy about three or four years old came stumbling towards her, and she instinctively steadied him.
Somehow, the tall girl and the small boy ended up chatting at the entrance.
The girl bent down slightly, smiling with crinkled eyes.
Chen Luobai felt a bit sick.
Seeing her smile at this three or four-year-old little thing made him intensely jealous.
He still couldn’t accept that she no longer had eyes for him, couldn’t accept that they would only be strangers from now on, couldn’t accept that she might smile so sweetly and gently at some other guy in the future.
Even more, he couldn’t accept that she might blush shyly at another man in the future, the way she had done with him that year in the school’s small supermarket.
Since she had fallen for him once.
Perhaps she could fall for him a second time.
Without trying, he really couldn’t give up.
His aunt had already enthusiastically entered a store to browse. Chen Luobai turned his head towards Yu Bingqin, who looked equally disinterested: “Sis, can you help me with one more thing?”
Yu Bingqin responded concisely: “Speak.”
Chen Luobai: “When A University’s new students start school, can you help me pick her up? And later, during club recruitment, if she’s willing, can you recruit her into your club?”
Yu Bingqin followed his gaze and immediately spotted the slender, pretty girl standing near the entrance. Without needing to ask, she guessed who it was. She asked in a flat tone: “And I suppose you want me to recruit you too?”
At the mall entrance, the girl must have heard something funny from the little boy, as she laughed sweetly again.
Chen Luobai’s lips curled up unconsciously: “Mm-hmm.”