The summer heat made people’s hearts panic. A friend asked Shang Mengxian, “How’s the situation going?”

Shang Mengxian couldn’t possibly tell about the embarrassing incident of nearly being bitten by a dog. Her tone was contemptuous: “Not bad. After I walked with him for a bit, he took the initiative to talk to me.”

Her friend wasn’t surprised at all: “You’re probably the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. In this lifetime, probably no one will ever like him. It’s normal for him to be a bit excited.”

Shang Mengxian opened her mouth, then closed it again. How could she say that person’s reaction had been particularly indifferent? But thinking it over, like her friend said, he probably didn’t even have the opportunity to see prettier girls. Being infatuated with her and trying to please her was definitely just a matter of time.

She wasn’t lacking in admirers, but a disabled yet aloof admirer sounded very challenging.

Being liked by such a person—she could probably even turn him into a lap dog. Though he actually looked pretty good, cool and aloof, with a resolute face. Otherwise, Shang Mengxian wouldn’t have suppressed her disgust to approach him. What’s more, she heard he was actually first in their grade.

Shang Mengxian knew this type of person lacked love the most. She opened imported chocolate that another boy had given her from her drawer. Before afternoon classes started, she went downstairs to first year class seven with the chocolate.

Shang Mengxian stopped a first year class seven student: “Can you help me call Pei Chuan from your class?”

The little boy saw it was the famous beauty from second year. His face reddened a bit as he agreed.

When Pei Chuan heard someone was looking for him outside, he put down his book and went out.

In midsummer, cicadas called incessantly. The fan hanging from the classroom ceiling turned slowly and leisurely, and time itself seemed to slow down.

Pei Chuan went out and saw Shang Mengxian. His expression didn’t change: “Is something the matter?”

“This is chocolate my mom’s friend brought from abroad. It’s quite delicious. Thank you for showing me the way before. I wanted to share it with you to try together.”

Pei Chuan glanced at the chocolate in her hand. His family also had that kind—Jiang Wenjuan’s colleague had brought it from abroad. He just didn’t like eating it and had given it all to Bei Yao.

He wasn’t stupid. Shang Mengxian’s tone casually revealed contempt, as if he had never seen such rare treasures in his life.

Pei Chuan kept a cold face. He didn’t take it, turned around, and entered the classroom.

Shang Mengxian’s face flushed completely red. This was her first time being rejected in front of an entire class. She couldn’t save face, but forced herself to show a tolerant smile and went upstairs back to her own class.

Pei Chuan returned to the classroom and glanced at the middle third row. Bei Yao was lying on her desk sleeping. Her long lashes were pitch black, curling downward like two weightless butterfly wings.

He withdrew his gaze and began reading a physics book that should have been for third year.

This matter that Pei Chuan hadn’t taken to heart fermented unknowingly.

By the time Bei Yao heard the baseless rumors, Shang Mengxian’s act of giving chocolate had already evolved into something very unfavorable for Pei Chuan.

Pei Chuan had worked so hard to escape the sympathetic looks from everyone in elementary school, yet overnight he fell into an even worse situation.

A boy from the back of first year class seven said in the bathroom: “I thought he was so aloof, but turns out he’s secretly trying to please Shang Mengxian, even taking her to visit the new park.”

Another boy unzipped his pants and agreed: “He doesn’t even think about his own conditions—a toad wanting to eat swan meat. Shang Mengxian sympathized with him and gave him chocolate, but he actually put on airs and refused it.”

“How could Shang Mengxian possibly like him? He’s a cripple without even calves. Forget Shang Mengxian—even Chen Xiaomei from our class couldn’t possibly like him…” Chen Xiaomei had buck teeth.

The word “cripple” was spoken lightly, and as soon as it came out, another boy quickly gave him meaningful looks.

The boy who said “cripple” followed his classmate’s gaze and turned back, only to see Pei Chuan walking out from the shadows.

Pei Chuan walked past them expressionlessly and turned on the faucet to wash his hands. Water rushed noisily. For a moment, this was the only sound in the boys’ bathroom. After all, having their cruel and vicious words overheard by the subject himself, those boys ultimately didn’t speak again.

Pei Chuan remained calm throughout. He just used particular force when washing his hands, so much so that his slender, pale fingers turned red. After Pei Chuan left, those boys looked at each other.

“Did he hear what we said?”

“Probably. He’s not deaf, and the bathroom’s only this big.”

“If he heard, why was there no reaction?”

“Who knows… What are you afraid of? What we said wasn’t false anyway.”

Perhaps due to jealousy of Shang Mengxian’s special attention to Pei Chuan, or perhaps displeasure with Pei Chuan steadily occupying first place in the grade and his aloof personality—in any case, this baseless matter was spread with increasingly distorted flavors.

A small portion of the class said particularly nasty things.

Fortunately, a large portion felt these words were too damaging and disrespectful, and didn’t join in. Fang Mingjun actually became part of this “large portion.”

Her thinned face appeared somewhat harsh: “You all speculate wildly about others all day long. I think you’re the most disgusting. What about Pei Chuan? His character is good, his grades are good, and he doesn’t gossip about people behind their backs like chattering shrews.”

That boy’s face flushed red: “Fuck, Fang Mingjun, you’re just jealous of Shang Mengxian, that’s why you’re speaking up for Pei Chuan.”

Fang Mingjun sneered: “What would I be jealous of? There are plenty of people in the world prettier than Shang Mengxian.”

“Those prettier than Shang Mengxian would never look at Pei Chuan in their entire lives.” That boy laughed wantonly. Fang Mingjun’s fighting ability wasn’t as good as his, so she was quite angry.

Bei Yao’s expression changed immediately when she heard the gossip.

That day at noon she had been sleeping and hadn’t seen Shang Mengxian come looking for Pei Chuan. She never expected everyone would suddenly become like this. Clearly when first year had just started, because everyone had grown up and knew to avoid others’ painful spots, everyone tacitly avoided mentioning Pei Chuan’s disability. Who would have thought that one Shang Mengxian would cause such a huge change in Pei Chuan’s situation.

A thousand-mile dike collapses from an ant hole.

Besides worrying about Pei Chuan’s state, Bei Yao was also afraid he truly liked Shang Mengxian now. In her view, Shang Mengxian wasn’t good at all. Pei Chuan would be hurt. Pei Not Happy was so stubborn—if he truly liked her, no one could talk him out of it.

The last period was English class. Bei Yao had packed up her things early. As soon as the dismissal bell rang and the young man left the classroom, Bei Yao immediately followed.

Pei Chuan, not yet fourteen, had a clean and handsome face. She had just approached his side when Pei Chuan suddenly turned back: “Why are you following me?”

Bei Yao heard the anger in his words. She said softly, “Don’t listen to their nonsense. My mom says people who talk nonsense will have rotten mouths when they grow up. These bad people will have rotten mouths in the future.”

Sunlight fell on her soft hair, turning it a warm, lovely pale gold. The emotions he had been suppressing so tightly suddenly burst out: “They’re not talking nonsense. Should I say you’re stupid or naive? Clearly you also know that’s the truth. That woman just wants to play games. And you—what do you want to do following me?”

Bei Yao looked at him, somewhat sad: “I don’t want to do anything.”

She had changed backpacks, but the little panda still hung on it. It swayed pitifully in the summer evening breeze.

“You couldn’t possibly…”

Her watery eyes held sadness and affection. He wanted to say even more vicious words, but in the end he couldn’t say anything.

Pei Chuan knew that although those people spoke harshly, they were indeed telling the truth.

With his pair of cold eyes, he was accustomed to seeing the world’s coldness and sympathy, including that person called Shang Mengxian who from the start had an attitude of playing and mocking. In his first year, they taught him a vivid lesson, clearly telling him that in this lifetime he would never be loved.

Liking someone, having a crush, being moved—for him, these were all extravagant and distant matters.

When just ordinary friends it was fine—everyone would give him care out of “sympathy.” But once infused with youthful romance, he became a dirty existence that everyone avoided.

In this world, there wouldn’t be any girl so broad-minded as to accept his disability without any reservations.

What’s more, a pretty girl.

His dark pupils looked quietly and silently at Bei Yao before him. When she grew up, what would she be like?

~

The instigator of this matter was Shang Mengxian. However, Shang Mengxian herself never expected things would blow up like this. In a flash she thought again—now was the time when Pei Chuan was condemned by all. If she went to care for him a bit, wouldn’t it be even easier for him to fall for her?

These past few days Bei Yao had thought of many ways to help Pei Chuan escape this terrible situation. She had also thought of Shang Mengxian. If Shang Mengxian could speak up for him, it would help a lot.

Bei Yao went upstairs to second year class one to find her, and happened to encounter Shang Mengxian coming down while laughing and chatting with people.

“Senior Shang, may I talk with you?”

Shang Mengxian stopped chatting and laughing to look at Bei Yao.

The young girl before her was still between girlhood and childhood, her cheeks looking soft and plump with baby fat, extremely delicate and cute. Shang Mengxian frowned: “Fine. Talk about what?”

They entered the cherry blossom grove along the school path. Bei Yao spoke first: “Do you still remember me? The person who chased away the little dog that day.”

Shang Mengxian said unwillingly: “I remember.”

“Senior, Pei Chuan keeps being told nasty things by people. Could you explain the previous matter to everyone?”

Shang Mengxian said, “What’s there to explain? I’m not the one who spread those words.”

“But you were the one who wanted to follow Pei Chuan home, then later gave him chocolate in front of everyone. Possessing jade is a crime—he’s very uncomfortable now.” Seeing Shang Mengxian didn’t refute, Bei Yao knew she had guessed correctly. Sure enough, Shang Mengxian had been the one to proactively seek out Pei Chuan.

“What’s it to me? He hasn’t come to find me himself. What is he to you that you need to speak up?”

Shang Mengxian could guess that the girl before her was probably friends with the young man. That day Bei Yao had bravely chased away the wildly barking dog. Clearly she herself was afraid, yet she still stood in front of her and Pei Chuan. However, Shang Mengxian was also certain this still-immature girl couldn’t have any relationship with Pei Chuan. That kind of boy—who would keep him close?

But she didn’t expect Bei Yao to darken her expression.

The young girl raised her fair face, word by word, seriously to an incredible degree: “He is someone I’ve protected for nearly ten full years.” He’s not a plaything or废人 in your eyes. He’s a boy I’ve coaxed as he grew up. I hope he’ll be safe his whole life, and like before, even if his personality is cold and unlikeable, he should grow up happy and healthy.

~

Bei Yao’s negotiation broke down. She wasn’t discouraged, but there was very little she could do. Since Shang Mengxian refused to explain, she explained one by one. Fortunately, that day’s conversation had one good change—Shang Mengxian stopped looking for Pei Chuan.

She persisted in this matter with its minimal effect for a long time. It wasn’t until they advanced to second year and the past was gradually forgotten by everyone, and Shang Mengxian got a boyfriend, that everyone finally completely dropped the matter of Pei Chuan.

And Pei Chuan only exploded that one time. When studying in second year, he himself also seemed to have forgotten that matter and no longer brought it up.

In third year, Shang Mengxian having a boyfriend spread like wildfire among the students, though the teachers didn’t know. In the early 2000s, same as in later generations, puppy love was a death zone students couldn’t touch. The teenagers both envied the person dating Shang Mengxian and secretly admired her courage.

One day Shang Mengxian’s boyfriend came to school to give her roses. The bright red roses bloomed ostentatiously. That boy wore sunglasses, had dyed yellow hair, and even hugged Shang Mengxian outside the classroom.

The people in third year class one went crazy with excitement, blowing whistles and heckling.

Shang Mengxian’s boyfriend wasn’t from this middle school. They said he was two years older than Shang Mengxian. Bei Yao was also pulled out by Hua Ting to watch the excitement. She just looked at that boy’s profile from afar and felt it was somewhat familiar, but where exactly it was familiar, she couldn’t say.

Bei Yao knew Pei Chuan had a good memory. After school she asked him, “I always feel that boy who came to our school today looks so familiar. You saw him too, right? Do you have any impression of him?”

Pei Chuan looked straight ahead: “No.”

Bei Yao kicked a small pebble at her feet. Hadn’t seen him? Or no impression?

He glanced at her: “Don’t mind other people’s business. Focus on the high school entrance exam.” He paused and asked her, “Which high school do you want to attend?”

City C had three famous high schools: First, Third, and Sixth Middle Schools.

Bei Yao became interested. In her previous life she had also studied very hard, but because she wasn’t as smart as other people’s children, she had struggled to get into Sixth Middle School. Among the three high schools, Sixth Middle School’s atmosphere was also relatively more relaxed. Her eyes held scattered bits of starlight: “I want to go to Sixth Middle School. Sixth Middle School is close to home.”

“Mm.” He responded, noting it in his heart.

With his grades, whichever high school he wanted to attend was no problem. Pei Chuan had never had his IQ tested, but he could feel that his learning and memory abilities were far superior to everyone else’s. He could completely skip grades, yet he didn’t. Step by step, properly and stubbornly, he grew up.

Pei Chuan returned home and first took a shower by himself.

No one was home at this time—his parents were still at work. Pei Chuan calmly returned to his room and took out a slip of paper from a drawer with Ding Wenxiang’s contact information written on it.

Ding Wenxiang was that boy in sixth grade who had insisted on seeing his prosthetic limbs and lifting his pants. Ding Wenxiang was missing two fingers on his right hand. Now grown up, he wasn’t studying but mixing in society. This person wasn’t outstanding in other areas, but acting like a rich person was first-rate.

Shang Mengxian’s current boyfriend was Ding Wenxiang. She couldn’t see through the lies, and the two of them both harbored ulterior motives yet also enjoyed themselves.

Bei Yao had always thought that after their conversation, Shang Mengxian let Pei Chuan go. Actually, she hadn’t.

After that day, Shang Mengxian still hadn’t given up. Pei Chuan’s heart stirred with anger.

Shang Mengxian stayed away from him because he had used some special methods. Or rather, because of his base tactics. From this year on, Pei Chuan’s high intelligence was never used for the right path.

Pei Chuan threw the slip of paper into the toilet and pressed the flush button. In the whirlpool, it disappeared cleanly.

Thanks to Shang Mengxian with her impure intentions this year for teaching him that in this lifetime he would never deserve to be loved.

He was unworthy.