The August evening sun warmed everyone it touched. Bei Yao spread out her small hand to show Zhao Zhilan.

In her palm lay five chocolates. Zhao Zhilan picked them up to look: “That child gave these to you? These aren’t cheap.”

Five “Kiessling” chocolates in red wrappers, all produced in T City.

There wasn’t much special in childhood—even getting candy brought joy, let alone this brand of chocolate. When Zhao Zhilan married Bei Licai, the Bai family was still in debt. Although they hadn’t deprived the child after Bei Yao was born, she rarely bought these little snacks for Bei Yao.

One “Kiessling” cost two yuan—five pieces, heavy in the hand, totaled a full ten yuan.

For little Bei Yao, when she was in third grade, ten yuan was also a “huge sum.” Holding the “huge sum” Pei Chuan had given her, she felt uneasy. Seeing her daughter’s pure and adorable appearance, Zhao Zhilan’s heart softened: “Since you’ve already accepted them, keep them. From now on, when Mom makes something to eat, you can bring some to little Chuan.”

Bei Yao nodded vigorously and smiled: “Mom, eat some.”

“You keep them, Mom doesn’t eat sweets.”

“Then give some to Dad.”

“Dad doesn’t like them either.”

Chocolate contained alkaloids that could make people happy. When Bei Yao’s two rows of small white teeth bit down, the chocolate melted in her mouth, and her eyes lit up with scattered sparkles of light.

Bei Yao only ate one piece and couldn’t bear to eat the rest. She hid them in her drawer, planning to take them out when she had a craving.

In the blink of an eye, it was mid-August. August seventeenth was Bei Yao’s fourth birthday. Her birthday was simple—a bag of candy plus sweet eggs in syrup. After eating, she still went to kindergarten.

The children sang her a childish birthday song. Bei Yao looked at the empty spot in the corner, feeling somewhat dejected.

Xiang Tongtong said: “I’m going to pre-school this year.”

Several younger children looked at her enviously.

Chen Hu had already come to kindergarten. Being older, he was also one of the children going to pre-school to learn. He asked Fang Mingjun: “Minmin, are you going?”

Fang Mingjun shook her head: “I’m not going. Mom says I’m still too young.”

Chen Hu said: “That little mute is going too. I’m definitely going to beat him up!” He imitated his father, roughly swinging his fist. Being bitten like that by a child without legs was both a shadow and a humiliation in Chen Hu’s heart. He had to get revenge!

Bei Yao looked at the chubby Chen Hu and frowned.

She knew that by rights she should still attend kindergarten for another year. She had always been one grade below Pei Chuan. But if Pei Chuan’s class was full of people like Chen Hu, wouldn’t Pei Chuan always be without friends?

When she got home, Bei Yao asked Zhao Zhilan: “Can I have a birthday wish, Mom?”

Her bright eyes were clear. She had been well-behaved lately, as if reaching four years old had suddenly made this child much more obedient. Zhao Zhilan told Bei Yao to speak her mind.

“I want to go to pre-school.”

Without a second thought, Zhao Zhilan rejected it: “No, you just turned four. You need to be five to go. Trying to fly before you can walk won’t do. Those older brothers and sisters are going to learn writing. You can stay in kindergarten and play games with the little friends.”

“Don’t want to play games.” Bei Yao said seriously, “I’ll go learn writing.”

Zhao Zhilan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Her daughter was somewhat silly and slow. From childhood, her reactions had been slower than others. The teacher said if other children needed three repetitions to learn a nursery rhyme, her Yaoyao needed five. If five times didn’t work, she would slowly sing it ten times by herself.

When Bei Yao said she wanted to go to pre-school, Zhao Zhilan just took it as a joke. Such a major matter concerning the child’s entire life couldn’t be left to Bei Yao’s whims. Falling behind at the starting line meant never catching up later.

Bei Yao wasn’t discouraged by the rejection. She returned to her room and came out again at dinner time, showing her small practice notebook with character grids to her parents.

Zhao Zhilan looked and was immediately stunned.

Both left and right pages were filled. The left side had Chinese characters—a row of “big,” a row of “small,” and also “many” and “few.”

Bei Yao’s characters were written small, not even occupying half of each grid square. However, each stroke was careful, showing she had been especially serious.

The right side had addition: “1+1,” “1+2.” Although she had only added up to five, it already shocked Zhao Zhilan. That year, kindergarten was a large daycare center at best—at most, a group of children singing nursery rhymes together. Generally, they would formally learn knowledge in pre-school, and formally learn the multiplication tables in first grade.

Bei Yao looked at her mother nervously and anxiously.

Zhao Zhilan asked her: “How do you know these things?”

Bei Yao’s heart pounded: “From the kindergarten wall.”

Before Zhao Zhilan could speak, Bei Licai laughed heartily: “My Yaoyao is actually a little genius!”

Bei Yao knew Dad’s mind wasn’t as sharp as Mom’s. She had memories from third grade—writing Chinese characters and addition were easy for her. However, she only dared pick simple things, afraid Zhao Zhilan would suspect.

Zhao Zhilan thought for a moment: “What does two plus two equal?”

Bei Yao felt guilty. She lowered her head, her small hands making counting motions. After a while, four soft little fingers stood up.

Zhao Zhilan looked at the fingers raised beside her daughter’s cheeks and planted a big kiss on Bei Yao’s face!

She, Zhao Zhilan, finally had a day to triumph over Zhao Xiu! Simply exhilarating!

“We’ll sign up for pre-school. Tomorrow Mom will go find the teacher!”

Bei Yao’s almond eyes curved as she smiled brilliantly.

~

When the small wild chrysanthemums by the roadside sprouted little buds, September arrived.

C City usually had a rain on the first day of school every year.

September first, 1996, was no exception. Pei Chuan watched the road surface instantly get soaked, his pale fingers resting on the wheelchair, lost in thought.

Jiang Wenjuan was afraid the child would get wet and dressed him in a raincoat.

The night before, Jiang Wenjuan had spoken calmly with her husband for the first time. She was especially worried about Pei Chuan going to pre-school. Ever since Pei Chuan’s legs were severed, Jiang Wenjuan was often awakened by bloody, mangled scenes in her dreams. The recurring images had become a nightmare tormenting a mother. Jiang Wenjuan couldn’t look favorably at her husband, who had become silent and withdrawn after the incident.

However, getting the child into school depended on Pei Haobin pulling strings.

There was no special education school near their home, and the country hadn’t established such schools that year either. For Jiang Wenjuan, she was actually afraid of the child entering such a school, as if it would stamp Pei Chuan with a lifelong mark of being incomplete and special.

Chaoyang Elementary School in C City had two pre-school classes: Pre-school Class One and Class Two. The Chinese language teacher for Pre-school Class One happened to be Pei Haobin’s middle school classmate, surnamed Yu. Teacher Yu had known about Pei Chuan’s special situation early on, so when Pei Haobin mentioned it, Teacher Yu agreed.

Chaoyang Elementary School was a fifteen-minute walk from their residential complex. Pei Haobin started the motorcycle and signaled Jiang Wenjuan to place the child on it.

The wheelchair was tied to the back of the motorcycle with leather straps. Pei Chuan was settled in front of the motorcycle.

Pei Haobin carefully protected his son, deliberately speaking lightly: “Let’s go.”

Pei Chuan gripped the metal bar in front of the motorcycle, a shallow smile appearing at the corners of his lips.

The light rain pattered down. Away from his mother’s sight, Pei Chuan finally showed no expression. Behind him was his father’s broad chest. Pei Haobin rode very slowly. Very little rain hit Pei Chuan’s face. Pei Chuan looked at the curtain of rain, knowing he was about to go to a new environment.

He didn’t want to go, but he knew he had to.

Because of this matter of going to pre-school, Mom was finally willing to speak to Dad. He wanted a complete, normal family, even though his body was no longer complete.

Pei Chuan gripped the metal bar tightly. On the way to school on this first day, many elementary school children carrying backpacks looked curiously at Pei Haobin’s motorcycle.

The engine was very loud.

When Pei Chuan was three years old, Pei Haobin had bought this motorcycle. Little Pei Chuan had been incredibly excited sitting on it, feeling like he was a cool little superman. Everyone around had looked at him enviously. Now sitting on this vehicle again, when all those envious gazes had become strange, Pei Chuan lowered his eyes despondently.

All along the way, Pei Chuan saw countless childish faces, all like the name of Chaoyang Elementary School itself—vibrant and full of vigor. The children were full of hope for their futures.

Pei Haobin sent him to the door of Teacher Yu’s office. Pei Chuan sat in his wheelchair.

A water bottle hung beside the wheelchair—Jiang Wenjuan had filled it with cooled boiled water for Pei Chuan to drink when thirsty.

September hadn’t yet passed out of summer. The parasol trees at Chaoyang Elementary School were lush and verdant.

The gentle female Chinese teacher Yu Qian extended her hand to him: “Hello, little Pei Chuan. I’m Teacher Yu, and also your father’s friend. From now on, I’ll teach you knowledge and take good care of you.”

Pei Chuan’s ice-cold, pale fingers grasped Teacher Yu’s hand as he showed a polite smile.

He still didn’t like talking to people he wasn’t close to.

Teacher Yu had already learned about Pei Chuan’s situation, so she said to Pei Haobin: “You go to work. I’ll take good care of the child.”

Pei Haobin left. Teacher Yu said to Pei Chuan: “If you need to use the bathroom, raise your hand and tell the teacher, okay?”

Pei Chuan’s pupils were pitch black. He silently looked at Yu Qian for a long moment, then nodded.

“Pre-school is all new children. Maybe you’ll see little friends who were in your kindergarten class before.”

Pei Chuan cooperatively tugged at the corners of his mouth, but his eyes remained cold.

He didn’t want to see anyone from before.

The sun slowly rose and the rain gradually stopped. Teacher Yu pushed Pei Chuan toward the classroom.

As soon as they entered the classroom, the children’s curious eyes all looked over.

The classroom was filled with little tots dressed in bright colors. Some children were neat and tidy, some still had runny noses. Teacher Yu smiled kindly and positioned Pei Chuan in the first row by the window, below the podium.

Chen Hu was sitting in the back, originally playing around with Li Da. When the teacher pushed Pei Chuan in, his eyes went round.

Great! They really were in the same class!

“When you came to register yesterday, you already met me. I’m Teacher Yu. Teacher Yu will now adjust everyone’s seats according to height, okay?”

The children said in unison: “Okay!”

“Now everyone stand up and compare heights. The shorter children will sit in front, and the taller children will sit in back for now.”

The little children were very obedient. However, having them compare heights themselves was quite difficult. Teacher Yu and another male teacher who taught math, Teacher Zheng, helped adjust the heights.

Teacher Yu frowned, discovering several children were missing from class.

It was raining today—some who lived far away had probably been late. However, they could only adjust seats for now.

Teacher Zheng asked quietly: “Two people per desk. There are exactly 58 children in class. Who will sit with Pei Chuan?”

Teacher Yu was also stunned.

However, she quickly recovered and asked the children with a smile: “Little friend Pei Chuan injured his legs and needs everyone’s care. Which brave and kind little friend is willing to sit with him at the first desk?”

Pei Chuan’s pupils contracted imperceptibly.

The children in the classroom looked at each other, then glanced at Pei Chuan sitting in the wheelchair with empty space below his knees.

A few children looked at the teacher and hesitantly raised their hands.

Teacher Yu was very satisfied and asked Pei Chuan: “Which little friend does Xiao Chuan want as a deskmate?”

Pei Chuan’s eyes swept over them one by one.

He didn’t like to smile, and there wasn’t a bit of light in his eyes—like a dark, damp place where sunlight refused to shine. Wherever his gaze passed, those already unsteady hands slowly lowered.

The two teachers exchanged an awkward glance. Teacher Zheng said: “Let the other children sit down first. There are still a few children who haven’t arrived.”

After the children sat down one after another, Chen Hu looked left and right, quietly telling people about how Pei Chuan had wet his pants and bitten people in kindergarten. The children’s faces showed astonished expressions, and all eyes secretly glanced toward the lonely first desk.

Pei Chuan clenched his fists, his gaze falling on the tall parasol tree outside the window.

The rain had stopped. Rainwater remaining on the leaves slid downward. He sat in a shadowed place, his lips somewhat cracked. However, he didn’t reach for the water bottle he’d brought.

Drinking water would make him need to urinate.

The girl came late. She had two flower bud buns on her head tied with pink ribbons. Her little buns had been dampened by rain. Standing at the door, she called out clearly: “May I come in?”

Teacher Yu looked over and discovered this was the youngest child in class.

Fifteen minutes was the walking time for a half-grown child. Bei Yao’s little short legs needed twenty-five minutes. Plus with the rain, Zhao Zhilan had carried her for part of the way. When she couldn’t carry her anymore, little Bei Yao walked by herself.

Rushing frantically, she was still about ten minutes late.

Pei Chuan sat rigidly, not turning his head.

Teacher Yu said: “Little friend Bei Yao, there are still three seats in the classroom. Choose one and sit down.”

Bei Yao walked toward Pei Chuan.

She carried the scent of sunshine after rain from outside and sat down beside him.

Pei Chuan said: “Get lost.” This was the first time he spoke to her, his ice-cold voice telling her to get lost.

Pei Chuan thought: Who needs your pity? Better to stay far away from him.

Bei Yao’s almond eyes looked extremely aggrieved: “But I’m short.” Short people sitting in back couldn’t see.

“…” Pei Chuan silently turned his head away.