Little Dumpling Li Yixin
My name is Li Yixin, and I’m about to start elementary school. I have a twin brother named Li Yiyi. Dad says our names together mean “wholeheartedly.” But I have a question: shouldn’t my brother be called Yixin and I be called Yiyi, following the order of “wholeheartedly”?
I asked Mom about this, and she said, “Little darling, you’re a girl, and Yixin sounds prettier than Yiyi! So we just switched the order with your brother! Besides, sweetie, you’re a child. You should be carefree and not worry about these details!”
…Actually, I’ve had a feeling for a long time that Mom can be a bit silly sometimes. Later, I overheard Dad talking with Uncle Juncheng, and from their conversation, I’m sure this silly feeling is called “airheaded.”
Let me introduce my family more systematically.
My family consists of my handsome Dad, beautiful Mom, strict Grandfather, fun Maternal Grandfather, kind Maternal Grandmother, and a stupid brother.
Why do I say my brother is stupid? Because he always loses to me when we play cards, never winning once. Mom probably wants to save his face, so she tells me, “Your brother is letting you win!”
Haha, I don’t believe that.
Also, when Mom and Dad argue, he doesn’t let me watch. He always pulls me away, making it impossible for me to try and mediate. What a fool.
Once, when Mom and Dad were arguing again, I snuck downstairs while my stupid brother wasn’t paying attention. I hid outside their room and saw that as they were arguing, Dad suddenly rushed towards Mom to bite her.
I was terrified! I wanted to rush in and help Mom, but my stupid brother discovered me and dragged me away.
This idiot, Dad might eat Mom!
I worried all afternoon. Thankfully, at dinner, I saw Mom was still intact and smiling happily—no, even happier than before. Only then did I feel relieved.
Mom is so strange, being so happy after Dad bit her.
Sigh, in this family full of problems, I worry about everyone.
Adults say my stupid brother has a high IQ. What is IQ? I wonder if it’s edible.
They also say I might have ADHD. What is ADHD? It sounds quite lively.
Dad says I inherited my ADHD from Mom, while my brother’s high IQ is undoubtedly from him.
After Dad said this, Mom glared at him and said, “Like hell!”
I copied Mom’s expression, glared, and turned to my stupid brother, saying, “Like hell!”
My brother looked at me and said, “…But you are my little sister.”
…This “like hell” thing, why does it feel so annoying? It’s like I didn’t gain any advantage.
Mom told Dad she wanted to set up separate bank accounts for me and my brother, save half of their future earnings for each of us.
My brother told Mom, “I don’t want it. Save my share for my sister too. When I grow up, I’ll earn my own money.”
Oh, my stupid brother! If he doesn’t keep any capital, how will he earn money?
No, I must secretly save half for him.
My grandfather looks very serious and scary. But actually, he loves my brother and me very much. My maternal grandfather is different from Grandfather; he’s always smiling and telling jokes.
Grandfather and Maternal Grandfather often play mahjong together. It’s the most fun when they play together. Grandfather always puffs up his beard and glares, while Maternal Grandfather just keeps smiling and annoying him. Mom says they’re like fire and water, but they still love to get together. Dad calls them two mischievous old men.
I noticed Dad also likes to stick close to Mom, so I called him a mischievous dad. As a result, Dad spanked me. I ran to tell Mom, and she was great—she said she’d spank Dad for me.
But I think Mom deceived me. Because when I listened at the door, I didn’t hear Dad being spanked. Instead, I heard Mom making strange noises. I thought maybe Mom couldn’t beat Dad and wanted to rush in to help her, but my stupid brother somehow discovered me again and dragged me away!
My brother is so annoying!!!
Everyone in the family is so weird; no one is normal!
Oh well, I’ll go play with that dummy Lu Yao at Aunt Jing Jing’s house!
High School Li Yixin
Speaking of Lu Yao, he’s Aunt Jing Jing’s son. Mom says he’s very handsome, comparable to my brother. I don’t see how he’s handsome at all. He has a face like an ice block as if he’s had too much Botox, so stiff you can barely see any expression other than blinking.
When we were little, he loved to stick to me and play, but as he grew up, he suddenly became so aloof, always wearing an expressionless face trying to look cool, as if he didn’t know me. It’s annoying to death.
I don’t know what trick fate played on me, but I always end up in the same school as him. In high school, we’re even in the same class, and in our third year, we even sit next to each other.
Since graduating from elementary school, in my eyes, Lu Yao has slowly developed into a weirdo.
He always drags his face around, never saying two words when one will do and doesn’t even bother to express emotion with punctuation marks. He’s abnormally taciturn.
His grades are very good, always the best in the class and even the entire grade. Always ranking first, if that’s not weird, what is?
And after the new seating arrangement in our third year, I ended up sitting next to this cold-faced weirdo.
Without exaggeration, in the two years of high school that has passed, the total number of words I’ve exchanged with this weirdo doesn’t exceed ten sentences. And these ten sentences are basically like this:
(Lu Yao, can I copy your homework?) × 10
Usually, this is a lonely question, because Lu Yao never answers me. After the first time, he doesn’t even lift his head, just completely ignores me.
I’m a person with pride. After trying ten times, I never asked to copy his homework again. It’s no big deal; I’ll copy from other classmates. Because other classmates have error rates, it seems more authentic.
Thinking this way, I didn’t hold a grudge against him anymore. Except for occasionally calling him a weirdo in private.
My middle school classmate and best friend Yang Didi is in the class next door. Once during break, she asked me, “That top student in your class is really good-looking. Does he have a girlfriend?”
I said, “He’s so weird, who knows if he likes boys or girls.”
Yang Didi said, “Is he weird? How is he weird?”
I said, “He won’t let me copy his homework.”
Yang Didi said, “That’s not called being weird, that’s called being upright.”
I said, “Yang Didi, do you still want me to help you deal with your stepmother in the future?”
Without hesitation, Yang Didi said, “That Lu Yao in your class is a weirdo!”
I nodded through gritted teeth, “Come on, repeat after me: Someone who won’t even lend homework, what kind of classmate is that? It’s outrageous! Weirdness to the extreme!”
Yang Didi repeated after me.
As I was patting her shoulder in satisfaction, I felt a chill on the back of my neck. I couldn’t help but look back, and I was shocked.
Lu Yao was standing behind us for some reason.
The way he looked at me was like ice and snow; I almost caught a cold.
I thought he would question why I was talking about him behind his back, and I had even prepared a strong argument.
If he asked: Why are you talking bad about me behind my back?
I would answer: You’re standing behind me, I’m talking in front of you.
If he asked: Then why are you talking bad about me in front of me?
I would answer: If you have a problem with that, I can talk bad about you behind your back next time.
I was rehearsing gleefully in my mind, imagining that I had angered him to the point of spitting blood. But this guy just gave me a cold look, then walked past me and Yang Didi with an air of disdain and indifference, holding his head high.
I asked Yang Didi if there was such a thing as anger from being ignored.
But Yang Didi was drooling and said to me, “Oh my, this is the first time I’ve seen the weirdo from your class up close. He’s handsome!”
I decided not to help her deal with her stepmother anymore.
Weirdos aren’t scary. What’s scary is when weirdos don’t talk.
During our days as desk mates, Lu Yao always had a cold face toward me, as if he had no emotions. He never smiled. Once I fell asleep on the desk during class, and he didn’t wake me up, resulting in me getting caught by the teacher.
After being scolded harshly by the teacher in the office, I returned to the classroom with a face full of spit and angrily asked him, “Young Master Lu, if you encounter this situation again and don’t want to talk to me, could you at least kick me? Even if you just consider it as revenge, you can put some strength into your foot!”
The weirdo gave me a light glance and said the eleventh sentence of our high school life: “I didn’t realize someone was sitting next to me.”
It took me a while to understand what he meant.
So he had been treating me as if I didn’t exist…
I wanted to complain to his mother!!! Aunt Jing Jing, do you know how weird your son is???
I stood up angrily, slamming the table: “You weirdo, from today on, watch how I, Li Yixin, will torment you!”
Lu Yao
As soon as little four-year-old Lu Yao returned home from kindergarten, he tugged at Yao Jing Jing’s clothes and asked in his childish voice, “Mommy, Mommy, when can I inherit Daddy’s property?”
Yao Jing Jing wanted to say that it would have to wait until his father died, but thinking that discussing death with a four-year-old child might be cruel, she said, “That’s up to your father to decide. But son, why are you asking about this?”
Little Lu Yao’s face was full of innocent enthusiasm as he said, “Li Yiyi said that if I want to marry Li Yixin as my wife, I need to give a dowry to their family!” He shook Yao Jing Jing’s arm, “Mommy, Mommy, ask Daddy to give me money to marry a wife! I want to keep Li Yixin in our house so she can play with me every day!”
Looking at her son’s delicate little face, full of “hurry up and give me money, hurry, I want to exchange for a wife” expression, Yao Jing Jing felt like crying.
Oh, son, you’re so young and already making your mother feel like she’s raised a money-losing commodity. You’re too amazing T_T
Qian Feifei, how did someone as silly as you give birth to the pair of little demons Li Yiyi and Li Yixin, with their bellies full of schemes?!! They’ll ruin my son!!!
After Lu Yao entered middle school, one day, Lu Ze gave him a very profound ideological education.
From that day on, young comrade Lu Yao became cool, especially when facing the little girl from the Li family.
Because his father told him how to win over Li Yixin.
This girl, if you’re nice to her, she tends to overlook it. If you’re cold to her, it will spark her fighting spirit.
In the days that followed, he put acting cool on his agenda. When he entered high school, he and Li Yixin were assigned to the same class. In their third year, he had his mother Yao Jing Jing communicate with the teacher, and Li Yixin became his desk mate.
This girl Li Yixin is too slow and annoying. She told her best friend that he was a weirdo.
But it’s also good; at least she’s noticed him in her eyes.
How to make her completely open her eyes and have her first crush on him?
He thought of a way.
After that day when she slammed the table and shouted, “You weirdo, from today on, watch how I, Li Yixin, will torment you!” he put on a cold demeanor, squinted his eyes, and said to her, “Li Yixin, are you so excited because you like me?” He saw the dumbfounded expression appear on her face due to shock.
He continued, “Li Yixin, dare to make a bet? No matter what method you use to get my attention, I won’t like you.”
His face was expressionless, but his heart was extremely nervous.
He saw her face turn red. After holding back for a while, she finally slammed the table again and said, “Let’s bet! Lu Yao, if I don’t make you kneel and say you like me first, then I’m adopted by my parents!”
At that moment, although his face remained cold as jade, his heart was blooming with flowers.
Although he said out loud: Li Yixin, dare to make a bet? No matter what method you use to get my attention, I won’t like you.
What he thought in his heart was: Li Yixin, hurry up and use all kinds of methods to fall in love with me!