“Six months passed before I finally overcame my inner fears and visited Deng Man’s parents. Her mother’s mental state had improved—she was no longer crying all day and had returned to work. While helping clean Deng Man’s room, I accidentally found a gift wrapped in cellophane paper. Through the wrapping, I could see a Parker fountain pen—one I had admired for a long time, and Deng Man knew this. Next to the pen was a blank card with nothing written on it. I searched the entire room but couldn’t find a receipt for the pen. When I asked Deng Man’s mother, she couldn’t remember when Deng Man had bought it.”
“But finding this pen was like a drowning person grabbing onto a lifeline. With her mother’s permission, I took the pen home and tried to analyze it: 1) The pen was bought for someone else. 2) The pen was meant for me, but due to our relationship change, Deng Man never gave it to me. 3) The pen was for me, bought after I confronted her that day, intended as a gesture to repair our friendship, but she met with an accident before she could give it to me—meaning her death might not have been just suicide, there could be other possibilities. To escape my overwhelming guilt and uncover the truth, I stubbornly believed the third possibility.”
“So you sent this pen along with Deng Man’s note to the Anshan Police Station, including your analysis?”
He recalled the elegant handwriting in those letters—though the tone was mature and calm, the writing still revealed the inherent limitations of an untrained investigator’s thinking.
She nodded: “After sending the letter, I kept a close watch on news from Deng Man’s family. Sure enough, police officers visited after some time. I felt hopeful that they might uncover something suspicious, but the investigation soon went cold. When I indirectly inquired with Deng Man’s mother, I learned that the surveillance footage showed Deng Man had indeed committed suicide, with almost no possibility of foul play.”
“Though my hopes were dashed, I had already passed the point of no return. As years passed after graduation and classmates went their separate ways, gathering clues became increasingly difficult. I forced myself to recall details from before Deng Man’s death. After much thought, I remembered something—during her emotionally turbulent period, she had visited the music hall several times. Though there were many activities at the music hall then, I initially didn’t connect it to the choir. Still, I sent what ambiguous evidence I had gathered to the police station, hoping they would reopen the case. But this time, due to lack of convincing evidence, not even an officer came to inquire.”
Jiang Chengyi snorted: “Wasting police resources and time.”
Seeing his mood improve slightly, she glanced at him: “There’s something else strange. Back then, the three of us often sat on the library steps eating snacks. Deng Man would sometimes look up with a complex expression. Because I suspected she liked you, I always thought she was looking at the gymnasium. But once while reading about criminal cases, I suddenly thought—why not consider a different angle? What if the person she liked wasn’t you? But this seemed contradictory too. Why would she repeatedly mislead me and not deny it when I confronted her?”
“Regardless, the seed of doubt was planted. I returned to school, sat on those same steps where she used to sit, and looked in that direction. That’s when I realized the music hall and gymnasium were adjacent. Remembering the choir always practiced at noon, I went to look for the old choir roster. I remember Teacher Zhou helped me search for an entire afternoon but said he couldn’t find it.”
Teacher Zhou.
He frowned: “How did you connect this to Ding Jing?”
Lu Yan’s expression grew complicated: “Last year, Teacher Zhou discovered he had thyroid cancer and came to the hospital for surgery. While coming out of anesthesia, he experienced delirium. During recovery, I heard him mumble: ‘Deng Man, go find Ding Jing, go find Ding Jing.’ But he spoke so unclearly, I couldn’t be certain I heard correctly.”
Jiang Chengyi pondered for a few seconds: “Liu Yuqie hadn’t been attacked yet, so you couldn’t have known about Ding Jing anonymously creating the Winter Solstice website to collect female students’ wishes. Even hearing those words, what made you decide to investigate Ding Jing?”
“After graduation, I rarely saw Ding Jing, only knowing she was active in group chats after returning from abroad. Last year, while shopping with Tang Jie, we encountered Liu Yuqie, Ding Jing’s close friend, in a café. She was talking with another classmate from Class 3 and didn’t notice us in the dim light. I overheard their conversation—the girl mentioned how strange it was that when Ding Jing went abroad, she wouldn’t even return for summer breaks, despite her family being able to afford tickets. Liu Yuqie seemed to avoid the topic, but the girl continued, saying that although Ding Jing appeared domineering, she was very timid. She remembered when Deng Man from Class 6 died, Ding Jing was more frightened than anyone, too scared to go out at night.”
“This was the first I’d heard of this. I realized that when Deng Man died, I was in the hospital with Tang Jie by my side, completely unaware of what was happening at school. I remembered Deng Man’s note mentioned hating ‘her’—if it wasn’t referring to me, could it be someone else? Combined with Teacher Zhou’s words last year, I suspected Ding Jing might be connected to Deng Man’s death, and that Teacher Zhou knew something.”
Finishing her explanation, she turned to look at him, finding no surprise on his face: “Did you also suspect Teacher Zhou?”
He replied irritably: “Didn’t you just say Teacher Zhou’s words were strange? I don’t know what exactly Deng Man was involved in back then, but she was clearly in a relationship she wanted to keep secret, and if it wasn’t with me, a student-teacher relationship seems likely. Plus, Liu Yuqie revealed that Deng Man was among those who made wishes on the website. I suspect Ding Jing discovered Deng Man’s inappropriate relationship with a teacher and used it to blackmail her, forcing her to act like she had feelings for me to create friction between us and damage our relationship.”
Even if there were other reasons for Deng Man’s death, the fact that it had caused Lu Yan to carry such a heavy burden for so many years made it impossible for him to feel any sympathy for that person.