Fei Ni noticed that although the house was warm, the pile of coal balls hadn’t diminished much.
“When I’m not home, do you just sit here in the cold?”
Fang Muyang laughed. “Am I that frugal?” He wasn’t a frugal person, but he spent most of his days outside, only heating the house before she returned.
“Why is there still so much coal left?”
Fang Muyang couldn’t lie about buying more—their coal ration book recorded every purchase.
“You know I don’t mind the cold, I only mind the heat.”
Fei Ni pinched Fang Muyang’s clothes. “Can’t you be more careful when washing clothes?” Cotton-padded clothes couldn’t withstand such rough washing—they’d lose their warmth after just a few washes. She gave Fang Muyang money and fabric coupons to buy another padded jacket.
With half a month left until the college entrance exam, many people took leave to study at home, but Fei Ni insisted on going to work at the factory every day. Though she didn’t particularly like her job, both her salary and her first home had come through the hat factory—she had to do right by her work. Many in her workshop had taken leave to study, and if she took leave too, her colleagues would have to work overtime to meet the workshop’s quotas.
Fang Muyang only studied at night, spending most of his time painting. He went outside to sketch from life, staying out in temperatures below minus ten degrees without catching a cold or fever.
When only a week remained until the exam, Sister Liu sympathized with Fei Ni and approached the workshop supervisor to approve her leave. Fei Ni was granted leave without even submitting a request, but she insisted on working until the end of her shift. After work, she rushed to the cafeteria to get vegetable meatballs to eat with Fang Muyang. Her appetite was noticeably worse than usual—she said she was full after just a few bites.
Fang Muyang noticed something was wrong with Fei Ni and placed his palm on her forehead, then touched his forehead to hers. He put down his chopsticks and dug out a thermometer from the drawer for her to use.
Sure enough, she had a fever—38.5 degrees.
Fang Muyang gave Fei Ni fever medication and made her brown sugar water.
Fei Ni held the brown sugar water as her eyelids drooped. Fang Muyang could see she was truly ill—her eyes had lost some of their usual brightness.
Fang Muyang filled a hot water bottle for Fei Ni to hold and brushed her ear, saying, “You’ll feel better after some sleep.”
Fei Ni went to bed earlier than usual that day, and Fang Muyang joined her early too. He hugged her through the blanket, pressing his forehead to hers like a human thermometer.
The next morning, Fang Muyang woke up early and could tell from his forehead that Fei Ni’s fever hadn’t broken. Usually, Fei Ni would want to study as soon as she woke up, but today she only felt a headache.
Her first words to Fang Muyang were: “I’ve caught a cold—stay away from me, don’t catch it.”
“I’m not that fragile.”
“If you catch it now, it’ll be too late.” The exam was just around the corner, and Fang Muyang’s foundation was already weak—he couldn’t afford any setbacks. Though he could take the exam again next year, how could she face him if he failed because of her?
Fang Muyang didn’t take it seriously at all. He took out the thermometer again to check her temperature—still over 38 degrees.
Fang Muyang comforted her: “It’s fine, I’ll take you to the hospital in a bit. Some medicine will fix it.”
“I’ll take the bus myself—you stay home and study.” Fei Ni found her thick gauze mask and put it on, covering her entire face.
“I could use some fresh air too.”
Fang Muyang made Fei Ni milk powder and boiled eggs, then added a scarf over her mask, wrapping her face completely except for her eyes.
Fei Ni sat on the back of Fang Muyang’s bicycle, and being too weak, she rested her head against his back.
“If you’re cold, hold on tighter.”
With her fever, headache, and loss of appetite, plus some swelling near her ear, the doctor initially diagnosed Fei Ni with mumps.
“Isn’t that a children’s disease?” When she was in elementary school, classmates would often stay home from school with mumps.
The doctor told Fei Ni that adults could get mumps too.
Leaving the examination room, Fei Ni immediately wrapped her entire face with the scarf, leaving only her eyes visible. She asked Fang Muyang, “Have you ever had mumps before?”
“Yes.” If he hadn’t had it before, he’d be at risk of infection, and though the probability of transmission was practically zero for him, Fei Ni wouldn’t believe that.
“When?”
Fang Muyang casually said, “In elementary school.”
“You’re just trying to comfort me—you never had it in elementary school.”
“How would you know?”
“We were classmates—how wouldn’t I know?”
“So you paid such close attention to me back then, even remembering this.”
“I just remember who had this illness.” She simply had a good memory and had used the process of elimination—it wasn’t that she paid special attention to him.
“Who?”
“Even if I tell you, you won’t remember. Stay away from me—this is contagious.”
“I’m too old now—how could I catch it?” His constitution was better than most people’s. Apart from that one accident, he’d never been hospitalized; his hospital visits were always to see others. Fei Ni getting this illness as an adult was probably because she was too tired lately, under pressure, and her immunity was lower than usual.
“Better safe than sorry.” Fei Ni quickly made up her mind. “I’ll take the bus home—don’t worry about me, I’m fine, feeling better already. You should pack up and go stay at your parents’ house until after the exam. Let’s not see each other for these few days.”
Even with a clear head, he might not pass the exam—if he got a fever and became confused, he definitely wouldn’t pass. After all his effort these days, even if he failed, it shouldn’t be because of her.
To eliminate this possibility, Fang Muyang had to separate from her. There was a perfect place right now—Fang Muyang’s parents’ home.
No matter how warm their small courtyard was, it couldn’t compare to centrally heated apartment buildings. He could eat ready-made meals there, and if he had questions while studying, he could ask his parents. Going back to his parents’ home to prepare for the exam now would have all benefits and no drawbacks. As for her, she could manage a few days alone in the courtyard.
“What kind of person do you take me for? How could I go anywhere when you’re sick? Besides, this isn’t much different from a common cold—don’t be so nervous.”
“Didn’t you always say you’d listen to me? For both our sakes, just go home for a few days.”
“I’ll listen to you about everything except this.” Whenever he didn’t want to do something, he’d say except for this, he’d fulfill all her wishes. Fei Ni had lost count of how many “excepts” there had been.
“Then stay three meters away from me.”
Fei Ni walked a few steps, and Fang Muyang followed, saying, “I want to listen to you, but my legs won’t obey.”
So they walked side by side again. When she walked fast, he walked fast; when she walked slowly, he walked slowly. Fang Muyang accompanied Fei Ni as she applied medicine and got oral medication.
Leaving the hospital, Fei Ni finally couldn’t hold back any more: “How can you be like this? If I infect you and it affects your exam, I’ll feel so guilty.” Her voice hadn’t weakened from illness—every word was full of energy.
Her weakness showed only in her eyes.
“You’re wrapped up so tightly, you couldn’t infect anyone, especially not an adult like me.” Above Fei Ni’s mask was a thick scarf, and Fang Muyang couldn’t see her expression, only her eyes. She had looked forward to the exam for so many years, yet just when everything was ready, she suddenly fell ill. The illness wasn’t serious, but its timing couldn’t have been worse, ruining her good mood of recent days.
Fang Muyang reached out to touch Fei Ni’s head, but she dodged. If Fang Muyang didn’t move out, they would be eating, living, and sleeping together 24 hours a day, undoubtedly increasing the chance of infection. With the exam so close, she didn’t want him to take this risk, even if the probability was minimal.
“Stay away from me.” Fei Ni asked Fang Muyang, “If you were the one sick now, wouldn’t you want me to go study at your parents’ house alone?” She believed Fang Muyang would make the same choice she was making.
“Of course not—I’d want you to stay home and take care of me. Even if you wanted to leave me, I’d have to go with you.”
“You never speak the truth.” Fei Ni smiled helplessly. Just when she was full of hope for the future, this thing came to disturb her mood, but she absolutely wouldn’t let this small matter affect her exam.
“Don’t worry about me—I know I’ll pass. Do you believe me?” Fei Ni hadn’t lost her confidence; she believed she could pass even if she had to take the exam with a fever. As she said this, her eyes were bright, their light undimmed by the sudden illness.
“I believe you.”
“Since you believe I can take care of myself, go stay at your parents’ house for these few days.” Now that she was sick, not only could she not help Fang Muyang study, but he would have to take care of her. Usually, she could accept this without guilt, but the exam was just around the corner.
This time Fang Muyang didn’t say who would boil water for you, or who would take care of you, but instead said: “If I move there, I won’t be able to focus on studying at all.”
“You can ask your parents questions—they know far more than I do.”
“That’s exactly the problem—they know too much. If I ask them questions, they’ll just think ‘How could anyone not know this’ and look down on me for not being smart enough.” Fang Muyang continued to sell out his parents: “They’re patient with you not because you’re their daughter-in-law, but because you’re smart enough.”
Fei Ni didn’t entirely believe Fang Muyang’s words. “If you went to them with questions, would they ignore you?”
“But I can’t understand what they’re saying! My knowledge base is completely outside their range of understanding. When it comes to exam questions, they can communicate with you, and I can communicate with you, but I can’t communicate with them at all. It’s only recently, with your help studying, that I’ve finally found some joy in learning. If they discourage me twice, I might not even want to take the exam anymore. Besides, even if I wanted to abandon you and go to my parent’s house when the old man sees me leaving you behind over such a tiny matter, he’d throw me out anyway.”
Fei Ni finally wasn’t as adamant as before. “But together, I can’t help you study like I did before.”
“Just having you by my side lets me study with peace of mind.” Without the words “study with,” that was Fang Muyang’s true feeling.
Fang Muyang took Fei Ni’s hand at the right moment. “Ni, let’s not dwell on this anymore. If others knew about this, they’d laugh at how inexperienced we are, making such a fuss over an illness that’s barely worse than a cold, treating it like it’s terminal.”
Unable to convince Fang Muyang to move to his parents’ house alone, Fei Ni could only take other precautions: “Let’s keep our dishes and towels separate when we get home.”
Fang Muyang agreed readily. He put a cushion on the bicycle’s back seat and urged Fei Ni to sit down. The medicine was applied to the right side of Fei Ni’s ear, and Fang Muyang carefully examined her face. “It is a bit swollen.”
At home, Fang Muyang put away all of Fei Ni’s study materials. “You’ve studied well enough—what you need most now is to relax.”
He took out the camera his second sister had given them and took a photo of Fei Ni with medicine on her ear.
“Now your appearance matches mine better—usually I feel like I’m marrying above my station.”
“Keep joking.” Fei Ni warned Fang Muyang, “Don’t develop this photo.”
“You look quite nice now—the swelling makes you look more approachable. I like it when you’re more approachable with me.”
Fang Muyang took several more photos of Fei Ni.
Fei Ni was both angry and amused, and half of her discomfort and anxiety from the illness disappeared. She said to Fang Muyang: “Stop fooling around and go study.”
He turned on the radio and put the hot water bottle in her blanket, telling her to lie down and listen.
“There might be exam points on the radio—just consider it studying.” He tucked in her blanket corners and told her: “Lie down—I’ll be back soon.”
“Where are you going?”
“To improve my diet a bit. You rest well in bed.” Fang Muyang warned her, “If you secretly read books, I’ll assume you’re allowing me to kiss you. You know I can’t resist when you take the initiative, and I won’t care if you’re sick then.”
Fei Ni certainly couldn’t let Fang Muyang kiss her—she wore a thick gauze mask even when talking to him, afraid of infecting him.
“Take off your mask after I leave.” Fang Muyang gave her the camera. “If you don’t want to sleep, you can take some photos. I’ll develop them after the exam.”
Because of Fang Muyang’s warning, Fei Ni suppressed her urge to read. She lay in bed listening to the radio and fell asleep while listening.
The sleeping Fei Ni had removed her mask.
Before Fang Muyang’s finger could touch Fei Ni’s face, she woke up. Seeing Fang Muyang had returned, she quickly put on her mask.
“It’s not that serious! Only children worry about infection.”
“It’s just for a few days.”
Fang Muyang had returned with a pile of canned food.
He pulled up a chair beside Fei Ni’s bed. “Take off your mask and eat some canned food.”
“You eat it—I have no appetite.”
“I bought this precisely because I knew you had no appetite.”
Fang Muyang opened a can of pineapple.
“I can’t eat this much—go get a bowl.” They couldn’t share a can now; they had to eat separately.
“I don’t like pineapple.” Fang Muyang opened the can, placed it by the bedside, and returned to his desk to look at study materials as if he had always done this.
Fei Ni picked up the camera and captured the moment of Fang Muyang studying at his desk.
For most of the time that followed, Fang Muyang maintained the posture from the photo. He no longer went out to paint but stayed at home, devotedly studying.