The snow outside brightened the sky. The snowflakes on Fang Muyang’s hands hadn’t yet melted when he used his cold fingers to touch Fei Ni’s nose, mouth, and ears… Fei Ni wasn’t particularly sensitive to cold, but she was ticklish. The icy touch made her especially ticklish, and she tried to dodge, her body involuntarily leaning backward, but Fang Muyang caught her with one arm. With nowhere to escape, she couldn’t help but laugh, the sound so unrestrained that it carried through the open window into the white world outside, where it seemed to echo.
Fei Ni covered her mouth to prevent more laughter from escaping. Fang Muyang pried her fingers away one by one, using both his cold hands to hold her face still. Fei Ni closed her eyes in anticipation.
The outside was bright, but the light bulb inside was even brighter.
The window was half-open, and Fei Ni let Fang Muyang kiss her while her free hand slowly pushed at the window. The cool breeze from outside drifted in, bringing a slight chill.
They pushed and pressed against each other until they reached the blue and white checkered bed sheet. Face to face, their noses nearly touching, Fang Muyang’s nose tip now covered with melted snow from Fei Ni’s touch, making her ticklish. Fei Ni struggled to contain her laughter, clenching her teeth, ignoring her reddening ears as she gazed into Fang Muyang’s eyes. He treated her mouth like a midnight snack, occasionally taking a bite, but eating unhurriedly. When his lips touched the corner of her mouth, Fei Ni couldn’t help but part her lips, almost laughing, but the sound was sealed away. The bed sheet quickly became wrinkled. Fei Ni was used to this though; she knew how to smooth out wrinkled sheets.
Fang Muyang wasn’t very good at that. His hands could draw, make furniture, and freely roam her body. Fei Ni sometimes suspected he treated her like a canvas, always needing to sketch an outline on her first. Sometimes she wondered if he wasn’t an artist but a sculptor, determined to carve her into some form. He could do everything except smooth out the sheets he wrinkled.
So Fei Ni had to think about these things.
Her finger poked his ear. “I want to listen to the radio, the speaker version.”
The miniature earphones sold in stores typically only had one earpiece. Fang Muyang had only bought one pair, so to listen together, they had to use the speaker. As a double precaution, besides lowering the volume, they often hung a quilt on the wall. Though its effectiveness was limited, it provided some peace of mind. They only hung one quilt; surrounding the entire bed would be too stuffy.
Fang Muyang understood Fei Ni’s meaning but wasn’t in a hurry, continuing to kiss her for a while before letting go.
Fei Ni fixed her disheveled hair and went to search through the box, finding the items distributed by the factory and pharmacy from the previous days. She took out one packet, which contained two.
While Fang Muyang hung the quilt, Fei Ni seriously read the instructions on the plastic packaging, her expression no different from when reading appliance manuals. As she read, her heart pounded. When Fang Muyang came over to look, she quickly hid it behind her back.
The light was too bright, but they had no experience and couldn’t do without it, so Fei Ni brought the desk lamp to the bedside, turned it on, and switched off the ceiling light.
Fang Muyang found Fei Ni incredibly interesting, treating what was about to happen like a lesson to be studied, her face serious and flushed. He contained his impulses, letting her complete her pre-lesson preparations.
The radio on the bed played so softly it could almost be considered nonexistent.
Fei Ni placed the small plastic packet next to Fang Muyang’s pillow, then climbed over him to lie on her pillow. She lay very properly as if this wasn’t her own home. After all, one didn’t need to be so proper in their own home.
Looking up at the upper bunk’s board, she whispered almost inaudibly to Fang Muyang, “Remember to use that later.”
Fang Muyang ran his finger along her nose. “Use what?”
“The thing by your pillow.”
Seeing Fei Ni’s expression, like she was facing an exam, Fang Muyang couldn’t help but laugh, “Are you nervous?”
“No.”
“Well, I’m a bit nervous. Can you hear my heartbeat?”
Fei Ni could only hear her heartbeat.
Usually, Fei Ni was accustomed to being intimate with Fang Muyang, but now it felt like their first time being so close. Fang Muyang pressed against her chest to listen to her heartbeat.
Fei Ni lay there somewhat stiffly as Fang Muyang turned her face toward him. In the dim yellow light, they faced each other, Fang Muyang constantly watching her eyes as his finger traced down from her nose, sliding to her lips. Fei Ni bit his fingertip, her eyes no longer meeting his as she absently nibbled on his finger.
Fang Muyang could hear her heartbeat as his other hand ran through her hair, combing it. His fingertips were somewhat rough, but his movements were gentle, so gentle that Fei Ni couldn’t help but close her eyes. He used one of her strands of hair to tickle her ear, starting lightly and getting deeper until settling in one spot. Fei Ni was so ticklish she bit her lip, catching Fang Muyang’s finger between her teeth. He didn’t withdraw his finger, letting her bite it. Her hands couldn’t help but twist together.
Fang Muyang observed her this way. Fei Ni had made many preparations but was so nervous she’d forgotten to draw the curtains. The moonlight of the snowy night filtered in, mixing with the yellow lamp light, making her face appear softer and redder. His five fingertips took turns experiencing the strength of her teeth, but she was gentle with him, refusing to bite hard enough to hurt.
Fei Ni kept her eyes closed as Fang Muyang continued to tickle her ear with her hair while moving closer to speak against her mouth.
“Who upset you today?”
“No one.”
As she spoke, his finger was gently sucked.
“You can’t tell me?”
“It wasn’t anything major, and I’ve already solved it.”
“If it’s not major, all the more reason to tell me. I might not be able to help with big things, but I can help with small ones.”
Fei Ni smiled, her hand holding his finger as she rescued it from between her teeth. She opened her eyes, moving closer to his face, touching his lips.
They exchanged words between light kisses.
Fei Ni touched his hair, “Your hair will need cutting again in a few days.”
“Why don’t you cut it for me from now on? Save some money.”
Fei Ni teased him: “How thoughtful of you to find so many ways to save money.” Fang Muyang could always come up with various random ways to save money, but all those savings combined wouldn’t equal the cost of the shoes he sold for her.
They spoke between kisses, and after a while, they stopped talking altogether.
The bed sheet that Fei Ni had just smoothed became wrinkled again.
Fang Muyang pulled the quilt over to wrap Fei Ni, holding her through it as they kissed. He wasn’t planning to proceed to the main event right away, though his body disagreed with this decision.
Fei Ni was completely wrapped in the quilt with only her head showing. She grew increasingly warm and couldn’t help but kick at the quilt, but she was held tightly. Her hands reached out to embrace him, deepening their kiss.
Fang Muyang’s hand slipped under the quilt, moving to familiar places.
He hadn’t expected to become so familiar with Fei Ni this way and in such a short time.
Fang Muyang told Fei Ni, “You have a mole at the small of your back.”
He hadn’t seen it.
But his fingers had felt it, and it was different from the one he had drawn.
His finger rested on his discovery as he softly told Fei Ni about the difference between the two moles.
Fei Ni covered his mouth, asking him to stop talking.
Outside, the snow fell harder, the white ground beneath a deep blue sky discussing the moon as snowflakes danced.
The curtains weren’t drawn, and through the window, they could see the swirling snow.
The moonlight seemed somewhat desolate against the ground. If they opened the window, the cold air would tell them just how frigid it was outside.
But with the window closed, the room remained warm, and its occupants even warmer.
The ginger-yellow quilt only weighed four jin, and logically shouldn’t have felt hot in this weather.
But Fei Ni was burning up, wondering how Fang Muyang’s hands could be so tireless after drawing all day, still sketching with such enthusiasm.
A brush doesn’t care how the paper feels, nor does it ask how to begin the stroke, where to press light or heavy, where to pause, or for how long.
But Fang Muyang asked Fei Ni, attentive to her responses down to the smallest detail.
Fei Ni spoke haltingly: “Don’t ask anymore, do whatever you want.”
Fang Muyang became bolder then, his fingers more nimble than when holding a brush. Fei Ni had never seen a fawning expression on Fang Muyang’s face, but his fingers told her he could be frivolous, fawning, and spineless. If you truly believed he had no backbone, he would immediately become firm again, showing you that everything he’d done before was just an act.
Fei Ni could hear her inadvertent sounds, but she couldn’t control them.
Time passed slowly, the snow outside fell harder, and what Fei Ni’s mother had told her on her wedding day still hadn’t happened.
A small part of Fei Ni’s mind remained clear. She controlled her light pants as she asked Fang Muyang, “Xiao Fang, do you know what to do next?”
“Like this?”
“No.”
“This way?”
Fei Ni said through gritted teeth: “Not that.”
Fei Ni found his ear and told him several things in a voice that absolutely no third person could hear. The sentences came out broken and intermittent.
“Is this right?”
This time Fei Ni held back from speaking, reaching through the chaos for the small plastic packet she’d placed by Fang Muyang’s pillow. One packet contained two.
She gave him one.
“I don’t know how. Help me.”
“You’re teasing me again.”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you read the instructions to me, and I’ll follow them.”
Fei Ni had to help him with trembling hands. “Can you keep your hands still? I can’t do anything otherwise.”
Her words were imperative but carried a pleading tone due to her tearful voice.
She followed the instructions step by step, her hands shaking but the sequence was correct. She worried she’d done it wrong due to nervousness, but even after several attempts, it still wasn’t right. Her trembling fingers tried again and again, but it became increasingly difficult, sweat breaking out from her fingertips to her palms.
Fang Muyang’s sweat dropped onto Fei Ni’s forehead, probably from pain. His hand grasped her trembling fingers as he whispered something in her ear.
She felt both embarrassed and amused, thinking life enjoyed playing jokes on her.
The standard sizes from the factory, pharmacy, and Sister Liu were all the same, but Fang Muyang wasn’t just non-standard – he was significantly different from the standard.
Those things simply wouldn’t work for him.
The only consolation was that Fang Muyang wasn’t much better off than her. No matter how naturally talented, he was still inexperienced, so they shared this awkward mistake.
Outside, the snow continued to fall steadily. This would be quite a long night to endure.