In the afternoon, the Chinese medicine building was sparsely populated. He Su Ye squatted in the pharmacy, assisting the pharmacist in decocting medicine.

As the attending physician, he didn’t need to personally decoct medicine in the pharmacy. However, being a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner often left him with spare time, and he enjoyed the various medicinal herbs, watching them boil in the pot, and the aroma spreading, blending bitter with sweet. Since the pharmacy had just hired a novice who was unfamiliar with the process, they often needed guidance on whether to use strong or mild heat.

He picked up the prescription, which he had written himself. Shen Xifan seemed like a nice name, but when pronounced, it sounded like… “Rice Porridge? Serving Rice Porridge? Her family must be very practical!”

Huanglian was very bitter, but the other herbs were sweet in nature and balanced, so the medicine shouldn’t be too difficult to drink. After finishing a month’s worth, he planned to prescribe a porridge made with Chinese arborvitae seeds or grind some sour jujube seed powder to assist with insomnia.

However, he couldn’t be sure if this girl would develop any other problems. Meeting three times in two weeks was quite frequent for a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner and a patient.

But with her, it seemed there was always something unexpected or miraculous.

Then, a nurse from the outpatient department approached him. “Dr. He, Director Liao from the inpatient department is calling for you.”

He dropped the prescription, instructed the pharmacist to control the heat, and then went straight to the inpatient department.

Director Liao was already waiting for him in the office. “Xiao He, come with me to the wards. With the sudden drop in temperature recently, some patients have developed coughs. Phenylpropanolamine doesn’t seem to be very effective, and I didn’t dare to try codeine or similar drugs. Can you see if you can prescribe some Chinese medicine? This is what you, practitioners of integrated Chinese and Western medicine, are best at!”

He Su Ye felt embarrassed. “I’ll do my best!”

He carefully examined the patients, and prescribed medicine, and since they were all from the digestive department, their ailments were mostly related to the stomach and intestines. He didn’t dare to use too strong of a prescription and added some herbs to soothe the liver, regulate qi, warm the stomach, and invigorate the spleen.

One patient asked him, “Doctor, I vomit yellow-green gastric fluid every time I take the Chinese medicine. What’s wrong?”

He glanced at the medical record and explained, “It’s probably because the powder of Bletilla striata is a bit irritating. But it’s nothing serious. If you feel uncomfortable, you can ask your attending physician to reduce the dosage from three times a day to twice.”

Director Liao leaned over to look. “Oh, it’s one of Xiao Xu’s patients. Why didn’t he mention this?”

Suddenly, the lights in the ward went out. Winter afternoons were already dark, and the patients were startled. A nurse quickly ran over. “Maybe there’s a power outage. We’ll have power back soon!”

The power did return, powered by the hospital’s internal generator, but it only supplied electricity to the emergency and inpatient departments. Director Liao kindly said, “Xiao He, I’ll have the nurse bring the medicine again tomorrow. It’s hard for you to work without electricity in the Chinese medicine building.”

He Su Ye nodded. “I’ll go get the prescription first. If the power comes back, I’ll have them decoct it immediately and deliver it.”

Director Liao patted his shoulder. “That’s good. Give my regards to your father!”

He Su Ye nodded, but he thought about how long it had been since he last saw his father.

Luckily, there was no power outage at home. He Su Ye was just about to open the door when he heard footsteps behind him, followed by a familiar voice, weak but with a hint of pleading. “Senior Brother, please treat us to a meal!”

He turned around in surprise. “Li Jie, Fang Kexin, what are you doing here?”

Li Jie looked frustrated. “The school had a power outage. Senior Brother, you know how pitiful our school is. The old campus doesn’t even have a generator, and the cafeteria isn’t serving. The nearby restaurants are closed…”

“So you came here to freeload a meal?” He Su Ye smiled. “Come in, there’s not much food at home, but you guys can make do.”

Although dinner was simple, He Su Ye was skilled in cooking, and they kept praising the food.

Li Jie was He Su Ye’s junior brother, and their families were close. He had always regarded He Su Ye as an older brother, and he felt at home in his house, just as he did in his own. After dinner, he tossed the dishes and chopsticks and went online to play games. Fang Kexin felt embarrassed. “Senior Brother, sorry for the trouble.”

He Su Ye smiled. “It’s okay. How can I let guests wash the dishes? I’ll do it.”

Fang Kexin could only wander around the house. He Su Ye’s home was just like his own: simple, and refreshing, with various medical books, prescriptions, and half-written papers piled on the study desk. She suddenly remembered when she last visited: two years ago, when Senior Brother and Senior Sister Zhang Yiling broke up.

No one knew that four years ago, she secretly admired He SuYe. She and Li Jie were high school classmates and coincidentally enrolled in the same university, becoming good friends. She constantly heard from Li Jie how excellent Senior Brother was academically and how kind he was. He had been her idol since childhood and always took the blame for her.

The first time she went out to eat with Li Jie, she saw He SuYe smiling as he served dumplings to Zhang Yiling, not touching his chopsticks, but focusing on Zhang Yiling with tender, affectionate eyes. She fell in love with He Su Ye almost instantly, with his handsome and gentle demeanor. At that moment, she believed in love at first sight.

But what right did she have to disturb them? He Su Ye and Zhang Yiling were a well-known exemplary couple. Everyone who knew them would marvel at their perfect match. She could only obediently act like a little junior sister in front of him, silently paying attention to his every move, consciously or unconsciously imitating Zhang Yiling’s style, asking him about various medical cases, even though he wasn’t in the imaging field, just to be around him for a while. She thought they would get married and have cute children, accompanying each other for the rest of their lives. But everything ended with Zhang Yiling going abroad.

She couldn’t understand how two people in love could just break up like that, across a vast distance, without any connection.

She still remembered what He Su Ye said to Zhang Yiling that rainy night, in front of her and Li Jie: “If you want to leave, then go ahead. If you leave, please don’t regret it. I respect your choice, and I ask you to respect my feelings.”

That night, He Su Ye drank heavily for the first time, while Zhang Yiling remained silent. She vaguely felt that Zhang Yiling going abroad wasn’t just a simple matter, but she would probably never know the full story.

After Zhang Yiling left, He Su Ye disappeared for a while, and even Li Jie couldn’t find him. Then one day, she saw He Su Ye getting off the bus with a backpack, looking much thinner and haggard. When she asked him, he said he had been doing free clinics in the mountainous areas for three months. His smile seemed somewhat forced, and she felt distressed. She felt heartache, so she became even nicer to He Su Ye. She didn’t dare to fantasize about replacing Zhang Yiling’s position, she just wanted him to be better, and that would be enough.

One day, He Su Ye said to her, “Junior Sister, find someone who will treat you well. I’m not worth it.”

That was when she realized that although she thought she had hidden her feelings well, He Su Ye knew everything. He had always rejected her tactfully, citing work, papers, or other reasons, and she believed he was that busy.

She finally understood that He Su Ye was the most principled person. Love was love. If someone loved you, that was enough, and if they didn’t, they wouldn’t cling to temporary warmth. However, she could never be that person.

He Su Ye had many medicinal herbs at home, all specimens made in school. Zhang Yiling especially loved herbs ending with the character “香” (xiāng), such as cloves, patchouli, Agastache, costus root, agarwood, sandalwood, benzoin, musk, and sweet wormwood. She had studied these few herbs carefully.

She had a sweet tooth, so she liked Agastache the most, also known as fennel. Large fennel was Chinese star anise, indispensable for stewing fish or braising meat, while small fennel could be stir-fried, cold-mixed, used in dumplings, or used with cloves and cardamom to make premium beef.

However, it wasn’t suitable for people with excessive yin and strong fire.

She held a pack of fennel seeds, lost in thought. He Su Ye walked over and explained to her, “Fennel seeds have a pungent and sweet flavor, which helps to invigorate the qi, strengthen the stomach, dispel cold, and relieve pain. Most importantly, they can also be used for cold dishes and dumpling fillings.”

Fang Ke Xin nodded, “I love eating these. Big fennel seeds are also very fragrant, and Senior Brother’s essence-rich beef is amazing.”

He Su Ye felt a bit embarrassed, “What I make is just average, but these big fennel seeds are harmful to the body, as they easily cause internal heat. It’s better to eat less of them.”

She smiled mischievously, “It seems like today’s spicy lamb is quite heating, isn’t it?”

He Su Ye pointed to the living room, “I specially made some turtle jelly and mung bean soup. Hurry up and go, don’t let Li Jie, that glutton, eat it all!”

Although it was just ordinary mung bean soup and turtle jelly, they tasted delicious and refreshing, perfect for consumption after heavy, greasy meals.

Li Jie was busy eating, while Fang Ke Xin asked, “Senior Brother, how do you make this turtle jelly? Can it be made at home?”

“It’s somewhat complicated. You can buy turtle jelly powder to make it at home, but real turtle jelly is made from over twenty Chinese medicinal ingredients such as turtle shell, smilax glabra, atractylodes, bitter ginseng, ligustrum lucidum, schizonepeta tenuifolia, raw rehmannia, and chicken bone grass. It nourishes yin, nourishes the kidneys, moisturizes dryness, protects the skin, eliminates acne, regulates the viscera, and clears heat and toxins.”

Li Jie interjected, “Senior Brother, we haven’t seen you make it since Junior Sister Zhang Yi Ling left.”

Fang Ke Xin glared at him, “Focus on eating yours well, don’t just talk for the sake of talking!”

He Su Ye laughed, “It seems like it’s been a long time since I made it, hasn’t it? Over a year since Zhang Yi Ling left?”

Fang Ke Xin was surprised. For the past two years, this was the first time she had heard He Su Ye mention Zhang Yi Ling. She had always thought that she was his taboo, buried deep in his heart, wounds that he wouldn’t easily reveal. But now he was so casual about it as if discussing the weather.

It took Fang Ke Xin a while to react, “Senior Brother, how do you feel about Junior Sister now…?”

“It’s been two years since everything happened.” He Su Ye smiled, “Why bother with lingering regrets? It was her choice, and I have to respect it. Besides, she left decisively. No matter how much I miss her, I can’t hold onto her. So, it’s all in the past.”

In He Su Ye’s eyes, there was pure equanimity, devoid of sorrow or grief, completely different from that rainy night two years ago.

He had let go and moved on, while she, like every other person trapped in the past, didn’t know when she could let go. If she couldn’t let go, how could this life be happy?

After finishing their meal, the two bid farewell. He Su Ye was left alone, lost in contemplation as he gazed at the specimens in the study.

These were all brought back by Zhang Yi Ling from school. She always believed that to excel in traditional Chinese medicine, one needed to be immersed in it. She was a woman of great ambition, never allowing herself to fail—always striving for the best grades, the most unique clothing, and even insisting on finding the best boyfriend. But was she truly the best herself?

Perhaps because her exam scores were never as high as his, especially in the field of traditional Chinese medicine.

Despite being such a strong woman, she eventually chose a path of no return. He still remembered that slightly chilly autumn day when the dean called them into the office and solemnly announced that there was one spot available for a government-sponsored study abroad program, and the faculty had unanimously decided that one of them would take it. As for who, they could decide between themselves.

Studying integrated Chinese and Western medicine abroad, particularly with a focus on traditional Chinese medicine, was undeniably challenging. Feeling disheartened afterward, he observed the longing in Zhang Yi Ling’s eyes, softening immediately. He consistently strived to offer Zhang Yi Ling the best, and this time was no exception.

But he miscalculated. He thought Zhang Yi Ling would come back to discuss it with him. He thought she would convince herself to give up. If it was her wish, he would accept it. He would let her go because he loved her so much.

However, she didn’t return for three days. On the fourth day, he saw her standing by his bed and saying, “He Su Ye, I’m leaving. The department notified me that I’ve been chosen to study abroad in the United States.”

He smiled and congratulated her, but inside, he was deeply saddened. Suddenly, he noticed the bruises on Zhang Yi Ling’s neck and immediately realized. He grabbed her hand abruptly and shouted, “How did you get that spot? Tell me!”

Zhang Yi Ling coldly pushed him away. “I got it with my means. Is that enough for you, He Su Ye? I know as long as your grandfather speaks up, the dean will surely give you the spot, so I had to take action first.”

With all hope lost, what else could he say at this point? He told her, “If you said you wanted the spot, you know I would have given it to you. Why do you have to degrade yourself like this?”

She looked at him calmly. “I don’t want to owe you anything. I want to leave without any attachments.”

What a “leave without any attachments.” He could only ask, “Zhang Yi Ling, did you ever love me?”

He didn’t get an immediate answer, but he finally got one.

On the rainy night before Zhang Yi Ling left, she said, “Since I was a child, I always wanted the best—the best grades, the best clothes. I told myself that I wanted the best boyfriend, the best husband. So, He Su Ye, I loved you, but I loved the best version of you. I’m going abroad, and I’ll meet someone even better. So, I won’t love you.”

The truth revealed that this strong woman only wanted a man who could match her, not He Su Ye.

He sighed, collected his thoughts, started cleaning up the kitchen, and then opened the fridge to check tomorrow’s breakfast ingredients. Turns out, there were no eggs or bread left. He dressed himself and prepared to go to the supermarket in the neighborhood to buy some groceries.