Three years ago, on the Lantern Festival, a heavy rain dampened the enthusiasm of young noble ladies who were out for the lantern fair.
Yuanxi hid in Aunt Seven’s room, contentedly slurping a bowl of Eight Treasures Noodles, feeling warm and satisfied all over. These Eight Treasures Noodles were Aunt Seven’s specialty, made with a rich broth simmered from eight precious ingredients, and colorful noodles made from buckwheat, corn, and lotus root powder. They were not only visually appealing but also delicious. However, making them was labor-intensive and required Aunt Seven to spend several months’ worth of her monthly allowance. Yuanxi, her mouth full, exclaimed, “In my opinion, the dishes prepared by the head chef today, all together, don’t compare to the bowl of noodles you made, Aunt Seven.”
Aunt Seven looked at her innocent and satisfied expression, feeling a twinge in her heart. Today was Yuanxi’s fifteenth birthday, her coming-of-age day, which should have been her most important day. Yet, it passed by quietly. Yuanxi, however, with shining eyes, said, “Father mentioned today at the banquet that it’s my birthday and promised to give me a gift. I wonder what it could be?”
Seeing Yuanxi’s hopeful eyes, Aunt Seven couldn’t bear to disappoint her. She took out a jade hairpin with a butterfly-shaped ornament and solemnly inserted it into Yuanxi’s hair, putting on a smile. “This is the gift Aunt Seven gives you. From today on, Yuanxi, you’re a grown-up woman.”
Yuanxi happily touched the hairpin on her head, admiring herself in the bronze mirror, and then asked with a tilted head, “Auntie, what does ‘coming of age’ mean, exactly?”
Aunt Seven gently touched her hair and explained, “It means that from today onwards, you can get married and become someone else’s wife.” She paused for a moment, then turned away, wiping away a tear.
Unaware of Aunt Seven’s inner turmoil, Yuanxi blushed and, in her mind, wondered what her future husband would be like. Outside the window, the sound of rain pattered softly. Yuanxi leaned against the window sill, propping up her head, and looked outside. Tonight, lanterns were lit in the courtyard of the mansion, swaying and twinkling in the misty rain like dazzling stars in the sky. For some reason, an image floated into her mind—a faint, indistinct figure, unreachable yet seemingly close by. She reached out her hand, but it felt like he was beyond her grasp, separated by an insurmountable distance. Thus, for the first time at fifteen, Yuanxi felt a sense of melancholy that she couldn’t quite understand.
Little did she know, beyond the veil of rain, in a small alley behind the mansion’s western gate, stood a man holding an oil-paper umbrella, silently standing in the rain. The first month’s breeze was still cold, tousling his black hair, and wetting it with raindrops that trickled down his shoulders. The cold rain crept up his trousers, making him feel stiff all over. He couldn’t remember how long he had been standing there, just gazing intently in the direction of the wall… waiting. The rain fell harder, causing the lanterns under the eaves to flicker dimly, mirroring his wavering heart in this storm, floating and sinking, unable to reach a shore.
Inside the mansion, children’s laughter and the shouts of young ladies ordering their maids to light up the lanterns echoed faintly. He listened for a long time but couldn’t hear the voice he longed for the most. Suddenly, there was a “bang” in the distance, and the fireworks of the Lantern Festival lit up the sky, casting colorful lights that were quickly dimmed by the rain. He finally understood that the person he was waiting for would never come. He lowered his head, laughing bitterly. Even if he pondered day and night, he couldn’t get what he wanted. It was all just wishful thinking.
He walked away in a daze, disappearing into the alley, and leaving behind the solitary lantern swinging under the eaves. Only the dreary rain remembered the story of his futile wait. Across the ever-changing sands of time, under the same cold rain, Yuanxi let Anhe put away the umbrella, pushed open the door in a hurry, and began searching the room. She opened cupboards and rummaged through chests, but couldn’t find the book that Little Master had mentioned.
After searching for a long time, she finally summoned Li Mama and asked urgently, “Do you remember three years ago, Little Master sent me a book called ‘The Peach Blossom Fan’?”
Li Mama’s expression turned strange, and she couldn’t meet Yuanxi’s eyes. Yuanxi immediately sensed that something was wrong and anxiously grabbed her hand, asking, “Where is that book now?” Li Mama, feeling guilty, hesitated for a moment, then confessed, “I thought the content of that book was inappropriate for Miss Yuanxi, fearing that you might develop improper thoughts after reading it, so I took the liberty to hide it away!”
Yuanxi, feeling both angry and anxious, realized it was futile to blame her now. She bit her lip anxiously and asked, “So, where is it now? Where’s the book?” Li Mama, feeling remorseful, went to her room and retrieved the book, saying, “Although I didn’t show it to Miss Yuanxi, I’ve been keeping it safe all this time without any damage.”
Yuanxi asked Li Mama and Anhe to wait outside the room, then sat by the window, carefully reading the book. The book depicted fervent love, dynastic changes, worldly vicissitudes, unrequited love, and ultimately, mutual forgetfulness. Alongside the text were the little master’s comments or annotations, written in small characters. Yuanxi was deeply engrossed in reading until the end, where she unexpectedly found the last line left by the little master: “Wanwan: Life is full of twists and turns, but only true affection and sincerity are truly precious.”
There were a few ink stains next to the line as if the person writing it had hesitated for a long time before making up their mind. The writing continued, “I will wait for you to grow up. If you’re willing, on the Lantern Festival and your coming-of-age day, throw a red plum blossom over the western wall. If I can secure an official position next year, I’ll come to propose a marriage to the Marquis’s Mansion. Even if there are many hardships, I will marry you.”
Yuanxi stared blankly at those lines, feeling shocked, heartache, bitterness, and helplessness flooded her heart at that moment. Although she was married, she was naive and ignorant, only knowing that she must admire her husband, feel secure when he protected her, and blush when he was close. Yet, it wasn’t until this moment that she truly understood what love was: the sweetness of reunion, the longing after separation, and the heart-wrenching pain of discovering loss. She slowly closed her eyes, allowing tears to flow from her eyes, realizing that she only had the right to be sad at this moment, like the red plum blossom waiting on the branch but ultimately withering, missing its flowering period, everything seemed untimely.
Just then, there was a sudden voice from outside the door, “Marquis, you’re here!” Yuanxi was startled, hastily hiding the book in the desk, and nervously tidying her disheveled hair. By this time, Xiaodu had already pushed open the door and smiled, “I bought you the famous lotus seed cake from Din Tai Fung. Would you like to try it?”
He placed a paper-wrapped package on the table and opened it, filling the room with a sweet aroma. “This lotus seed cake is your favorite. Every time I go out, you always ask me to buy some. I don’t always feel like buying these girlish treats,” he said with a hint of pride, looking at her. When he saw her face clearly, he asked with some confusion, “Did you just cry?”
Yuanxi felt guilty and quickly grabbed a piece of cake and mumbled, “I got too engrossed in reading the book just now, and the ending wasn’t very good, so I couldn’t help but feel sad.” Xiaodu smiled, saying, “What’s there to cry about in those made-up stories?” His gaze suddenly turned serious, as if recalling some distant memory. He slowly said, “Only when you’ve seen truly irreparable cruelty do you understand what true sadness is.” Yuanxi stared blankly at his face, which showed a grief she had never seen before, momentarily forgetting her troubles.
When Xiaodu snapped out of it and saw her absent-mindedly nibbling on the cake, he suddenly had an idea. He chuckled mischievously, “You’ve got cake crumbs on your face.” Yuanxi snapped out of her reverie, feeling extremely embarrassed. In her fluster, she hurriedly raised her sleeve to wipe it off. Xiaodu found it amusing and casually picked up a small piece of crumb, sticking it to her face. He leaned in closer, softly saying, “Let me help you with that.”
Before Yuanxi could react, he unexpectedly stuck another piece on her lips. As his ambiguous smiling face got closer, Yuanxi panicked and instinctively leaned back. Xiaodu’s face stopped just an inch away from hers, his eyes carrying a hint of inquiry. Yuanxi didn’t know how to explain herself, so she simply shoved the unfinished lotus seed cake in his mouth, saying confidently, “If you want some, just take it yourself. Why bother coming to eat mine?”
Xiaodu’s mouth was now full, making him cry and laugh at the same time. Just then, there was an urgent knocking on the door, and Zhou Jingyuan’s voice sounded outside, “Marquis, there’s trouble!” They exchanged a glance, both alarmed. Xiaodu wiped his mouth and shouted outside, “Come in and speak!”
Zhou Jingyuan hurriedly entered, casting a glance at Yuanxi, who was sitting at the table tidying up the food boxes. He seemed hesitant, but Xiaodu frowned and said, “There’s no need to avoid the madam. Just say what you need to say.” Zhou Jingyuan then said, “We just received news that Lady Wang, she… she committed suicide in prison!” With a loud bang, the food box in Yuanxi’s hand fell to the ground. She covered her mouth, eyes wide with disbelief.
The rain beat against the bamboo waves, layer upon layer surging. Xiaoyunjing gazed straight ahead at the emerald bamboo outside the window, looking as if he had aged ten years. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and said, “In this life, I have finally let her down.”
Xiaodu stood beside him, also feeling deeply troubled. He furrowed his brow and said, “In my opinion, this matter is full of doubts. I visited her today to let her know that there’s still hope. How could she suddenly lose hope and resort to suicide in such a short time?” Xiaoyunjing closed his eyes wearily and said, “Even if we know, what good does it do? She died in the prison of Shuntian Mansion. There’s no evidence of her death now.
I’m afraid I won’t even be allowed to see her body. It can only be ruled as suicide.” Xiaodu’s face showed a hint of resentment as he said, “Are we just going to let it go like this? Let Lady Wang die in vain.” Xiaoyunjing stood up and faced the bamboo leaves outside the window, saying, “This account will naturally be settled with them in due course. But now, the urgent matter is the situation of the Marquis’ Mansion and the Xia family’s troops. You must quickly come up with a plan, or else…” His expression suddenly turned serious, and he shouted, “Who goes there!”
Xiaodu’s expression changed. He had always suspected that someone was eavesdropping behind their backs. He quickly rushed out, only to see Xiaozhuo standing in the bamboo grove, wearing a cloak and looking terrified. He felt a bit disappointed and furrowed his brow, saying, “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you bring an umbrella?” Xiaozhuo looked aggrieved and said, “My rabbit, Xiao Bai, somehow went missing. I was afraid it might catch a cold in the rain, so I hurried out to look for it. I lost my umbrella just now. Who knew that when I walked to the bamboo grove, I would hear Father shouting at the window, scaring me.”
Xiaodu shook his head and said, “In such heavy rain, why bother looking for a rabbit? Where are your maids? Why didn’t you ask them to search?” Xiaozhuo looked pitiful and said, “I was afraid Xiao Bai would run far away, so I let them search in other courtyards.” At this moment, Xiaoyunjing came out with an umbrella and sternly stared at her, saying, “A rabbit gone missing is just a rabbit gone missing. If you catch a cold from the rain, how would that be? Hurry back to your room. You’re all grown up but still can’t distinguish between what’s important and what’s not.” Seeing her father speak, Xiaozhuo quickly opened the umbrella and obediently walked back. After a while, she turned around and saw that no one was following her, so she adjusted her cloak and walked into another room.
As soon as she entered the room, Nanny Cai was busy organizing various items that had just been moved in. Seeing her, she quickly came forward and took her hand, saying, “Why are you all wet? Let the Nanny wipe you dry quickly. Be careful not to get sick.”
Xiaozhuo looked at her coldly and turned her head down, muttering, “Mother, I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Aunt Wang’s smile gradually faded, and she said, “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Xiaozhuo cried with a grievance in her voice, saying, “I was almost caught by my father and eldest brother just now. I’m really scared. If they find out later, they will hate me even more.” She grabbed Nanny Cai’s arm and begged, “Now that Aunt Wang has left, can’t we reunite as mother and daughter? Can we stop doing these things?”
Nanny Cai let her head rest on her chest and also shed tears, saying, “Mother knows you’ve been wronged, but everything Mother does is for you! Do you know that when you were just five years old, you were still Mother’s flesh and blood, but Mother had to separate from you? Mother’s heart was in so much pain. Now, although your father has temporarily softened and let us reunite, Mother’s status is too low. If there’s any slight mistake, you might lose you again. Mother doesn’t want to endure such pain again.”
Xiaozhuo cried even harder. After a while, she raised her tearful eyes and said, “But what’s the use of what I’m doing now?”
Nanny Cai saw her attitude soften and gently stroked her hair, saying, “Good girl, just do as Mother says, and there will soon be results.”
Xiaozhuo bit her lip, unable to refuse her, and reluctantly nodded. They talked for a while longer, then Nanny Cai sent her away. Afterward, she turned back to her room, took out the copied scriptures from the cabinet, and flipped through them with satisfaction, thinking to herself smugly: You don’t know my secret, but I know all your secrets. This is my biggest bargaining chip.