Yuanxi hurriedly chased after him. As soon as she turned to the back of the house, she saw Xiao Du leaning against a scholar tree, retching continuously, his face pale as paper, almost vomiting up bile.

Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned to see Yuanxi standing there wide-eyed. Feeling quite disheveled, he quickly turned back to pull out a handkerchief to wipe his mouth before turning around again with an apologetic smile.

Seeing him like this, Yuanxi felt both heartbroken and guilty. As soon as she spoke, tears fell: “If you can’t eat it, why did you force yourself?”

Xiao Du hated seeing her cry most of all. He quickly walked to her side and said gently: “Since you specially made it for me, how could I not eat it?” Seeing Yuanxi’s face full of self-blame, he pulled her into his arms and gently wiped away the tears on her face with his sleeve: “This isn’t your fault, it’s me…” He suddenly couldn’t continue, not knowing how to explain this to her.

Yuanxi buried her face in his chest, but the tears wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t distinguish what emotion this was – only feeling that despite all his affection, she didn’t know how to respond. Her heart felt heavy and blocked: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand anything yet said I’d cook for you, and caused you this suffering.”

Xiao Du sighed gently and grasped her hand: “Don’t cry anymore. If you truly feel guilty, come with me somewhere – consider it compensation, alright?”

Yuanxi looked up blankly, not understanding what he meant. Xiao Du smiled mysteriously and led her back to the courtyard, instructing the maids and servants to rest at the farm first – he and his wife would return later. This caused the group to let their imaginations run wild, secretly exchanging meaningful glances.

Xiao Du paid no attention, simply taking Yuanxi’s hand and walking slowly along the path beside the farm until they reached the foot of a small mountain.

The forest was dense and the mountain winding. The two climbed slowly up the stone steps. The air after the rain smelled very pleasant, with sunlight shining on the emerald leaves still hung with water droplets. Insects chirped continuously and birds sang softly. Yuanxi didn’t know where they were going, but felt it would be good to just keep following him like this.

They walked for a long time before reaching the summit. Having never climbed a mountain for so long, Yuanxi was already breathless and covered in sweat. Xiao Du glanced at her and laughed: “Tired after climbing for such a short time? Don’t tell me you’ll want me to carry you down the mountain.”

Yuanxi blushed and glared at him. Xiao Du found her coquettish and charming expression utterly endearing. He encircled her in his arms, resting his chin on her head, and said softly: “Even if it’s for a lifetime, I’d be willing.”

Yuanxi’s heart felt tingly and warm, her face reddening even more. She buried her head in his chest, not daring to look up. But Xiao Du cupped her face and pointed ahead: “Look!”

Yuanxi turned her head and discovered that from this mountaintop, she could see brilliant evening clouds piled up at the horizon, blue mountain ridges standing faintly in the distance, golden reed fields swaying in the wind below, and patches of lush green farmland arranged in orderly groups – a vast expanse of heaven and earth.

The wind on the mountaintop was refreshing, quickly blowing away the sticky feeling of sweat, leaving only an exhilaration and contentment she had never experienced. Yuanxi stared blankly at everything before her, suddenly discovering that extreme beauty could also create an impulse to weep.

Xiao Du led her to sit on a large rock, also gazing at the scenery with some distraction. After a while, he slowly said: “Only from this angle does the capital most resemble the frontier landscape.”

Yuanxi was startled, seeing his gaze somewhat distant, as if already immersed in distant memories: “I was taken by father to the northwestern frontier at sixteen. Initially I couldn’t adapt to the hardships there and always thought about secretly running back to the capital. Later father tied me to the city wall, pointed at the Xiao family army soldiers drilling below and told me: This is your responsibility. If you want to escape, he’d rather finish me off right there – at least I’d die on the battlefield.”

The corners of his lips lifted slightly, as if mocking his own youthful naivety, continuing: “Later I trained with the Xiao family army until two years later when I personally led troops, killing so many Wu barbarians that their hundred-thousand-strong army retreated a hundred li beyond the frontier. Only then did I understand the glory and pride of being a man who could fight freely on the battlefield and defend the country. Later I fell in love with the battlefield, loved hearing the horns and war drums, and especially loved standing on the city wall overlooking the towns within the pass. I told myself: There, that is the territory I will guard for life.”

Yuanxi heard his tone gradually become passionate, his face showing hints of pride. She suddenly realized this was when he was most truly himself. But why… She gently rested her head on his shoulder, her heart full of confusion.

Xiao Du perceived her inner questions. His expression gradually grew cold, and a sudden stab of pain caught him off guard, requiring great effort to control himself and maintain his normal tone: “Until two years ago, when I led fifty thousand troops to defend Pingdu Pass. Everything was going very smoothly initially – I was confident that in just a few days we could counterattack, decisively defeat the Murong cavalry, and drive them back to the grasslands. But the supplies that should have arrived from the capital never came. Five days – we held out desperately for five whole days. The soldiers were so hungry they barely had strength to stand, while Murong iron cavalry prowled outside the city. If we were trapped to death, they could easily break through Pingdu Pass and advance through Funing Road. Half the Central Plains would be in grave danger, not to mention the several cities of defenseless civilians behind Pingdu Pass. We persisted until the sixth day when the city could no longer scrounge up anything edible. Even I was nearly fainting from hunger. Then someone handed me a plate of meat…”

Yuanxi was about to ask why there would still be meat when she suddenly noticed his body beginning to tremble. He gripped her hand tightly, as if trying to draw some warmth from her body to find courage to continue: “That was flesh from soldiers who had already died, flesh from brothers who had fought bloody battles alongside us. We relied on that meat to hold the city gates, forcing ourselves to persist until reinforcements arrived…” He could say no more, only closing his eyes in pain. Two clear tears flowed down his normally resolute face.

Yuanxi stared at him in shock, realizing she too was already in tears. She suddenly remembered his words: Only those who have witnessed irreversible cruelty have the right to weep. Only now did she understand what he had experienced and why he so strongly resisted eating red meat. Not knowing what to say, feeling all words were pale and powerless, she used all her strength to embrace him, wanting to rescue him from that painful abyss. But she still didn’t understand why such tragedy had occurred.

It took Xiao Du a long time to calm down before continuing: “Later I learned that the Xiao family army’s reputation in the northwest and the military power in my hands had already made many in the court wary. Someone wanted to use that battle to weaken the Xiao family army’s strength. Even if I wasn’t worn down to death at Pingdu Pass, losing the city gates would be enough grounds for punishment. Later I petitioned His Majesty to resign, willing to relinquish all military positions and keep only my title, never setting foot on the frontier again. With the Xiao family army leaderless, it became a piece of fat meat everyone wanted to devour but couldn’t swallow. But as long as external enemies covet our lands, no one dares touch the Xiao family army.”

Yuanxi listened with anger and helplessness – this was cruelty and ugliness she would never understand. Xiao Du gently exhaled. Having said all this, he seemed to have lifted a heavy burden.

At this moment, the red sun before them was gradually setting in the west, and the sky full of rosy clouds reddened their faces. Xiao Du gripped her hand tightly: “Given the chance, I’d really like to take you to see the frontier sunset. Beyond the pass lies the great desert. When the sun sets, it illuminates every grain of sand with golden light – scenery the capital can never provide. The frontier wind is fiercer than here, the water colder, but…” But I miss it terribly.

He slowly closed his eyes, remembering the day he left the city. He had led his horse at the rear of the formation, turning back for one last look at the setting sun reflected on the towering city walls, eagles soaring across the vast sky, the frontier wind cutting like a blade across his face. He turned back and fiercely wiped away the hot tears from his eyes, knowing he could never return.

Golden spears and iron horses, great deserts and long rivers – henceforth only remaining in dreams.

A gentle breeze blew past. He felt hands softly caressing his face, as if trying to soothe all the wounds in his heart. Opening his eyes, he found Yuanxi looking up at him with bright, warm eyes as she said: “My husband is a great hero. Wherever you are, I will be proud of you.”

A warm current surged through Xiao Du’s heart, hotly driving away the hidden pain. He had never told anyone these things, yet couldn’t wait to tell her, wanting no pretense or concealment between them. Because of love, he was willing to tear open all his past and wounds, standing completely unguarded before her.

For a long time neither spoke, only clinging tightly together. On this empty and silent mountaintop, their two hearts drew closer than ever before. Suddenly, several raindrops fell, and in an instant a torrential downpour began.

Xiao Du frowned and quickly led Yuanxi down the mountain. But the rain came fast and fierce, instantly making the mountain slope wet and slippery. After just a few steps they faced repeated dangers, barely able to find footing.

Seeing Yuanxi’s slender body shivering from the rain, Xiao Du quickly removed his outer robe to wrap her from head to toe, hurriedly seeking shelter in a mountain cave. But the rain showed no signs of stopping – instead growing more torrential.

Xiao Du frowned as he watched the heavy rain create a water curtain at the cave entrance, sighing: “It looks like we’ll have to spend the night on the mountain.”