Chapter 86

Twenty-five years have swiftly passed, and the once-innocent girl has transformed into a woman who kills without hesitation. Yet, when she stood beside him covered in blood, the man who had dominated her joys and sorrows confessed to her: the person in his heart was called Hua Qianyue!

He loved her! What a ridiculous and tragic reality. Hua Qianyue widened her eyes, trembling all over, and then a thread of wild joy surged into her heart, making her laugh hysterically while tears streamed down her face, dripping onto the ground.

Yes, she had spent half her life doing something so absurd. But if it meant he admitted to loving her, what did it matter how absurd or tragic it seemed?

Xiao Duyuan stood by, picking up the lantern that had fallen to the ground. In the dim light, the princess covered her face, laughing and crying as if she had gone mad. Meanwhile, Xiao Yunjing stood quietly opposite her, watching with regret, pity, and many other emotions he couldn’t quite understand. By now, Yuanxi had already carried Xiao Zhixuan out of the tunnel to seek help, so he hung the lantern back up and left. He didn’t want to know what had happened; after all, he had seen too many sordid, pitiful, and helpless things. These two people were once his closest, and their story was left for them to face.

It took a long time for Hua Qianyue to recover from her frenzy of emotions. Only then did she understand the meaning behind His Highness’s words. Trembling, she looked up and asked, “You! You knew all along?”

“Yes, I knew on our wedding night,” he paused as if it took great effort to say the next words, “Because no one could fail to recognize the woman they love.”

Time seemed to stand still as Hua Qianyue couldn’t believe what she had heard. She could only stare blankly and ask, “You knew all along… but why?” She couldn’t fathom why he would conceal such a significant secret from her.

His Highness smiled bitterly at her question. Why indeed? Over the years, he had asked himself the same question many times. He wanted to reach out and comfort her trembling shoulders, but he quickly withdrew his hand, gripping it tightly instead. There was a hint of tenderness in his eyes as he said, “Because, in a farmhouse on the outskirts of the city, you once saved me. Since then, I’ve vowed to protect you for the rest of my life.”

The moment Xiao Yunjing often recalled in his life was not the triumphant return from the battlefield, nor the ennoblement in front of the palace, but that day when he accidentally saved a girl.

She bandaged his wounds and held him through the toughest night. She was like a fairy by the creek in the early morning. Though she was terrified, she disregarded everything to protect him.

When the Emperor betrothed Princess Ruizhen to him, he initially wanted to refuse, but he realized that marrying her was the only way to see her again. Little did he know that just days before the wedding, he would receive news of her violent death in the palace. At that moment, for the first time in his life, he understood what it meant to have a heart like dead ashes.

But the heart that should have turned to ashes was pieced back together by her in their bridal chamber. Almost the moment he lifted the veil, he discovered: that she wasn’t the charming rose from the palace; she was his honeysuckle. After the ecstasy came doubt: if the person in front of him was her, then who was the one who died tragically in the palace?

He couldn’t control himself on their wedding night, giving in to their passion despite everything. But the next day, he realized the bloody truth behind it all. After much agonizing and struggling, he made a silent decision: no matter the cost, he would protect her for the rest of his life.

But from then on, he was tormented by guilt and remorse at every moment. He dared not get close to her again, fearing that one more glance would break the floodgates of his love and be impossible to conceal. He tried to take concubines, but none of them could sing a melodious tune for him in the night or show him fields of blooming flowers as she did.

Yet today, he finally understood that his supposed protection and indulgence had only pushed her further into the abyss. He had killed the gentle girl in his memories with his own hands, burying her life in an obsession of unrequited love.

Xiao Yunjing closed his eyes in pain, trembling as he said, “Why did you… for the sake of hiding this secret, commit so many murders and sins?”

The princess lifted her eyes, now lifeless, and finally burst into tears, not even understanding how everything had come to this.

Twenty-five years ago, in the princess’s chamber, she was tormented by jealousy and unwillingness, crying secretly day and night. Her good sister, You’er, noticed her distress and, after much questioning, she confessed her secret.

She remembered You’er staring into her eyes and asking only one question, “Do you truly wish to be with him at any cost?”

She nodded desperately, and then You’er told her a secret: a secret about how their hometown could disguise one person as another.

After You’er finished speaking, she just watched quietly. Hua Qianyue, however, already understood everything: she and the princess had similar appearances and figures. To exchange identities with the princess, she put in a lot of effort to learn the princess’s mannerisms and voice. All it took was one risky move, and she could spend her life with him under the guise of a lawful wife. The temptation was too great, and she almost immediately seized You’er’s hand and said, “Can you help me…”

Everything was going smoothly at first. On the night of their wedding, she once again saw those eyes that haunted her dreams, and when his hands and lips eagerly touched her, it was the happiest moment of her life. Even though she bore another identity.

But then everything changed. He began to treat her with indifference and disdain, and she, to conceal her identity, dared not interact with others, confining herself to the dark confines of the Buddhist hall. When she discovered she was pregnant, she thought that finally, fate was showing her mercy, only to realize that what awaited her was an unending nightmare.

She lost their child, and she was forced to accept a bastard child that didn’t belong to her. The hatred nearly drove her to madness. From that moment on, she began to hate everyone and everything, except him.

Then he started taking in concubines, one after another. She could tell he didn’t love those two women, so she allowed him everything, as long as he would look at her again. But even this humble wish eventually turned into hopelessness.

Later, her face began to have problems. Yú Yōuer hadn’t told her that this kind of technique needed yearly repairs, and the way to repair it was to use the fresh skin of young girls, along with burnt bones as a sacrifice. She couldn’t risk exposure, so she tacitly allowed Yú Yōuer to use the maids in the mansion as substitutes. The first time she saw those girls, as young and beautiful as flowers, kneeling in front of her trembling and begging for mercy, she felt remorse and fear, but soon grew accustomed to it. Until her hands were stained with blood and human life became insignificant in her eyes.

Countless nights she woke from nightmares, seeing many faces suspended in front of her, and then those faces slowly peeled away, leaving behind only a bloody mass, accusing her coldly of her crimes.

Perhaps this was the curse of her destiny. From the moment she thrust the dagger into the princess’s chest with her own hands, she was destined to be deeply mired, forever trapped in her demons.

But it wasn’t until today that she realized how she squandered all that silent endurance and protection, how she disrupted and destroyed everything he cherished.

Between the cold, bald walls, echoed the cries of a woman filled with regret and anguish. Huā Qiàn Yuè suddenly stood up and ran madly. She wanted to leave this place. It was too cold and too dark here. She didn’t belong here.

She ran around like a headless fly until her whole body crashed into the frame. The row of fans draped with human skin collapsed with a bang. It was her indescribable guilt, a nightmare that could never be erased.

Huā Qiàn Yuè moved her fingers away, staring blankly at those faces, as if they were laughing at her, extending countless hands from the cracks in the ground, pulling her down. Ghostly voices whispered in her ears incessantly, “You lost, come down and join us.”

Huā Qiàn Yuè collapsed weakly in the center of that pile of fans. She looked up at Xiāo Yún Jìng with a desolate gaze, imprinting his image in her heart, and then picked up the golden hairpin from the ground and plunged it into her throat.

Xiāo Yún Jìng’s face changed suddenly, rushing over to hold her tightly. Blood gushed from her throat, flowing down his sleeves onto his pulse. Xiāo Yún Jìng closed his eyes tightly, unable to say a word, just murmuring, “Qiàn Yuè… Qiàn Yuè…” Who betrayed whom in their lives, and who harmed whom?

Huā Qiàn Yuè’s whole body began to convulse. She struggled to open her eyes, but everything before her was blurry. She seemed to have returned to the moment she first saw him, in a haze, his silver armor bathed in light, his eyes filled with honey. With just one glance, she was willing to swallow all the bitterness.

If she hadn’t met him that day, she wouldn’t have had to endure the pain and torture of those nights. She would have lived peacefully and smoothly. But if she hadn’t met him, what meaning would her life have?

Trembling, she reached out her hand, her cold fingers gently touching his wrist, using her last bit of strength to say, “Yún Jìng, do you remember the folk song I sang for you? Let me sing it for you again: ‘Many stars in the sky… the moon is absent, many mountains underground… the roads are uneven if brother treats sister with a sincere heart, sister will think of brother, until now…'”

In his embrace, she seemed to become that gentle sixteen-year-old girl again, standing in the pure stream, singing a clear and melodious tune, waiting for her beloved to look back at her.

All the resentment melted away in his warm and solid embrace. In truth, heaven wasn’t too harsh on her. Even for someone like her, burdened with so many sins, she could die with some dignity.

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