The moment Ning Yue picked up her child from kindergarten, her heart sank—Hu Ziyuan had caught a cold.
The teacher came over to explain that Hu Ziyuan had started having a runny nose around noon, and it had gotten worse after his nap. She suggested he should rest at home. She specifically mentioned that many children had been coming down with colds and fevers lately, and reminded them to ensure he drinks plenty of water and monitor their temperature at home.
Hu Cheng hadn’t returned, and her parents-in-law were confined to their room due to illness. The kitchen was cold and empty. Ning Yue ordered takeout and carried Hu Ziyuan back to the bedroom. By the time the food arrived, Hu Ziyuan’s temperature had risen to 38.4 degrees.
Hearing about Hu Ziyuan’s illness, her mother-in-law came to check on him and asked Ning Yue, “Why does Doudou have a fever? Neither your father nor I have a fever!”
During her year of working, Hu Ziyuan had fallen sick before. Thanks to the special consideration at her workplace, nobody particularly minded when she took leave. Qin Can couldn’t care less about the comings and goings of a minor administrative staff, and Pan Jie, who was in charge of Ning Yue’s attendance, was quite easygoing. So while Ning Yue could sense the inconvenience her absences caused others, it wasn’t enough to make her feel too guilty about taking leave, nor enough to make others refuse her requests.
But this time was different. Department colleagues weren’t even allowed to go out for lunch, and she had already refused Qin Can’s request at noon. If she were to ask for leave at this crucial moment… just thinking about it gave her a headache!
Then, her drama queen mother-in-law came running over again to absolve herself of any responsibility for the illness. Ning Yue felt like giving up on everything. She forced a wooden smile and said, “Mom, go rest. I’ve got this!”
“Ah, then I’ll go make dinner!”
Despite talking about making dinner, her mother-in-law leaned against the doorframe without any intention of moving.
Ning Yue didn’t want to say anything to her. Seeing her mother-in-law’s presumption, she simply focused on wiping her child’s forehead with a warm towel, completely ignoring her! After waiting a while and seeing Ning Yue’s silence, her mother-in-law opened her mouth to say something, but Ning Yue suddenly spoke up: “Mom, we can’t be sure if Ziyuan’s condition is contagious. You’re still sick, and if you catch something else on top of that, it could be problematic.”
Her mother-in-law froze, suddenly straightening up as if the doorframe had been contaminated with some terrible virus. After stammering a few words, she vanished.
Ning Yue rubbed her forehead and checked the ear thermometer again—it had risen to over 39 degrees. Outside, it was pitch black. According to childcare wisdom, one shouldn’t rush children with fevers to the hospital. Seeing Hu Ziyuan sleeping deeply, Ning Yue prepared the medicine and woke him to take it. The child fell back into a deep sleep, his brows slightly furrowed, occasionally letting out soft moans. As the fever medication began to take effect, sweat beaded on his forehead, and the little one’s expression became more relaxed.
She would need to take leave tomorrow. If Qin Can really wouldn’t allow it—well, she’d just quit then!
Ning Yue consoled herself, thinking she might as well never get divorced. She had food and shelter here, so she could just stay! Besides, if they did divorce, rather than letting Hu Cheng find an unreliable stepmother or nanny for Hu Ziyuan while she watched helplessly from the sidelines, she might as well stay and at least be able to care for her child.
Taking care of her child…
Ning Yue sighed deeply. While others reached for the stars, her life revolved around her child. When her child grew up and left her, she only hoped she wouldn’t become an irritating mother-in-law herself!
Perhaps that would be when she truly found her freedom.
Although Hu Ziyuan only had a simple fever, Ning Yue couldn’t remain calm. Shortly after nine in the morning, she couldn’t sit still any longer and took him directly to the nearby children’s hospital.
Between blood draws, nasal swabs, and even having to take an oral swab from deep inside Hu Ziyuan’s throat—which he feared most due to the tongue depressor—his wails could be heard throughout the hospital. Ning Yue was torn, unable to ask the doctor to be gentler or make her child more cooperative, but she maintained her firm grip. The three-second procedure was completed, leaving Ning Yue dizzy. Hu Ziyuan alternated between crying and retching. Ning Yue held him gently, comforting him while finding humor in her distress: at least her child had a conscience and hadn’t struck her like the little girl next door had hit her mother after the tongue depressor!
The test results were available in the basement and needed to be collected personally. When the nurse notified her to come get them, she asked in surprise, “Just you alone?”
This was a decent private hospital where the doctors were pediatric directors from various major hospitals. The environment was nice, not crowded, and the service was very accommodating, though expensive. Children who came here for treatment usually had a whole entourage following them. For someone like Ning Yue who came alone, even waiting fifteen minutes usually resulted in gathering a line of people around.
So when the test results were ready and Ning Yue was still alone carrying her child back and forth in the hallway, the nurse was somewhat surprised but didn’t say anything. She just waved her hand and said, “It’s cold downstairs, don’t take the child down. I’ll tell them to have someone bring it up when they come. The results have been sent to the computer already, go to examination room two, the doctor is waiting for you there.”
Ning Yue secretly breathed a sigh of relief. The doctor was pleasant, telling her not to worry, it was just the flu. He advised her to take good care of the child, avoid public places, and wait for the virus to die off on its own. Seeing Ning Yue’s helpless expression, he also prescribed some Tamiflu, saying it could shorten the illness duration and reduce the child’s suffering.
Expressing profound gratitude, Ning Yue called a private car and headed home with Hu Ziyuan.
Upon entering their home, the aroma of steamed rice and stir-fried dishes wafted through the air. Her mother-in-law emerged from the kitchen, anxiously asking about Hu Ziyuan’s condition. Ning Yue’s mood improved slightly.
However, neither the feverish Hu Ziyuan nor the worried and frustrated Ning Yue could eat. Her mother-in-law, being experienced, didn’t force them. She brought a bowl of millet porridge for Ning Yue to feed Hu Ziyuan. When she came to collect the bowl from the bedroom, she finally asked Ning Yue, “Would you like a bowl too?”
Only then did Ning Yue feel her empty stomach, but after hearing the question, she shook her head.
In their two-person bedroom, Hu Ziyuan clung to Ning Yue’s embrace, refusing to let go. The recurring waves of nausea prevented him from staying still even for a moment! Ning Yue had no choice but to carry him, pacing back and forth in the room. She held her phone in hand, waiting for a response.
Pan Jie answered the call. When she heard that Ning Yue needed to take leave for at least seven days due to her sick child, she paused for two seconds before saying, “Maybe you should talk to the director directly.” She hung up before Ning Yue could respond.
Ning Yue sighed and dialed Qin Can’s number.
As expected, Qin Can flew into a rage—his shouts were audible even without speakerphone. Ning Yue waited for him to finish before explaining that her child had a contagious flu, and she might have caught the virus too, suggesting they should both isolate. While adults might not worry much about catching a cold, with everyone so busy now, it would be inappropriate if someone caught the flu and had to stop working due to a fever.
Qin Can seems to underestimate the serious consequences of catching a cold and fell silent. At that moment, Hu Ziyuan, who had been quietly whimpering, became restless and started crying, calling for his mother and saying he felt sick and uncomfortable. Ning Yue couldn’t pause to hang up the phone, so she used her phone-holding hand to pat his back soothingly while resuming her pacing that had momentarily stopped.
When Ning Yue finally calmed Hu Ziyuan down, she realized the phone was still connected, and Qin Can had been quietly waiting on the other end.
“Director?” Ning Yue asked hesitantly.
Qin Can make a sound of acknowledgment before muttering, “Submit the leave form when you return!” Then he hung up.
Ning Yue put down the phone and let out a long breath, temporarily relieved. Seven days—whether she could return to work would be a matter for seven days later!
Qin Can put down the phone and stared blankly at his computer screen, somewhat dazed. Hu Ziyuan’s crying and Ning Yue’s soothing voice had suddenly awakened some memories. It seemed that long, long ago, someone had comforted him in the same way.
That unique gentle voice, the suppressed anxiety it carried, and the sound of slippers dragging across the floor—it was all as familiar as if the voice on the phone was from his childhood. A woman had whispered in his ear the same way, had murmured the same way in the silent loneliness.
Holding the phone, Qin Can saw his already blurred childhood and adolescence before his eyes. No, it should be half of his adolescence—before his mother abandoned him when he was still an innocent, unknowing youth.
He remembered his mother was always busy, rarely by his side. But whenever he was sick, she would stay with him. Because of this, he tried every way to make himself sick, and though his mother would gently scold him each time, she would still stay by his side. Yes, every time he was sick, his mother never let him stay home alone. However, after he recovered, he discovered that his mother had to change jobs again. Their home life became increasingly tight, and his mother’s brows grew heavier with worry, but he didn’t care. He still tried every way to make himself sick, happily watching his mother stay with him…
He loved that voice, loved those moments, loved…
Qin Can shook his head, trying to shake off the memories. He had spent almost ten years trying to fade the memories of one person, yet in an instant, everything about her had revived: her voice, her embrace, her smile, her warmth, even her gaze…
That mother who had once seemed completely worthless and utterly incompetent in his eyes—how had she suddenly become so unforgettable!
Something seemed to collapse in Qin Can’s heart, raising a cloud of dust, and when it settled, he suddenly discovered that somehow, a large black hole had appeared in the depths of his heart, a hole that was very dark, very deep, and very ancient… He looked into the abyss, and the abyss stared back at him.
Pan Jie came in to report the preliminary review results of the procurement and was surprised to see Qin Can’s eyes glistening. She couldn’t help but pull her glasses down to check. After confirming she wasn’t seeing things wrong, she muttered “Oh no” and began to retreat.
“What is it?” Qin Can noticed someone in the room and spoke before looking up. Recognizing Pan Jie, he felt slightly embarrassed, then remembered he had been urging her to submit the results.
Rare as it was for Qin Can to feel guilty, Pan Jie smoothly completed her report. As she was finishing, Qin Can suddenly asked, “That Ning Yue, how many times has she taken leave?”
Pan Jie’s heart sank, and she answered vaguely, “A few times, I suppose?”
Qin Can rubbed his forehead: “Why do you think she works? Her family isn’t short on money, right?”
Pan Jie shook her head, and following the principle that an excellent employee should deeply comprehend the meaning behind every word from their leader, she tentatively asked, “Should I try to find out?”
Qin Can frowned and clicked his tongue, “What’s there to find out? What kind of person do you think I am? Am I that gossipy?” After a pause, he added, “From what I heard on the phone, it seems like she’s taking care of the child alone. That doesn’t seem right!”
Pan Jie said, “That’s true! When she came to our department, it was Director Wang from Procurement who personally spoke with Director Luo from Group Legal Affairs, and apparently, they listed several conditions at the time. Director Luo considered it for a long while before arranging her transfer. She even told me not to be too strict about her leave and working hours.”
“Hah! That old woman!” Qin Can became irritated just hearing Luo’s name and consequently lost interest in Ning Yue’s background. He nodded to indicate he understood. Pan Jie, seeing no need to play spy, also breathed a sigh of relief and quickly retreated.
As she came out, Zhou Tianming, who had taken over Ning Yue’s lunch procurement duties, was just arriving with the delivered takeout. He led everyone to the break room, saying to Pan Jie as they walked, “Did you see? Barbecue skewers!”
“Eating barbecue skewers at noon, be careful the director doesn’t smell it and scold you,” Pan Jie wrinkled her nose—it did smell good!
“Won’t happen! I’ve figured him out, he only cares about work. Even if we died from poison, as long as we came back to life when it was time to work, he wouldn’t ask anything!”
After joking around with Zhou Tianming for a bit, Pan Jie couldn’t help but finally ask, “The boss was acting strange today, actually asking about Ning Yue’s background. From what he was saying, it seemed like he thought Ning Yue shouldn’t be working!”
Zhou Tianming, while gnawing on a chicken wing, said, “That’s normal! With Ning Yue taking leave every other day, looking like she doesn’t want to work, she’ll be fired sooner or later!”
“But she was arranged here by Director Luo!”
“Those who aren’t Luo’s people might have a chance to survive, but being Luo’s person…” Zhou Tianming gestured toward Qin Can’s office, “means dying even faster.”
“But I always feel like Ning Yue has many worries. She doesn’t seem like what we imagine—a wealthy lady who’s just working to experience life. At least her clothes aren’t very high-end.”
“She drives a Mercedes ML350 worth 800,000 yuan. Have you ever seen a cleaning lady driving a Mercedes? Don’t worry about it. Hurry up and eat before it gets cold! I hope she doesn’t come back, so I can go out more often to buy some good food!”
Her mother-in-law called Hu Cheng to tell him about Hu Ziyuan’s illness. In broad daylight, Hu Cheng rushed back home anxiously. As soon as he arrived, he berated Ning Yue for not telling him about such an important matter and then urged them to go to the hospital. Ning Yue, not bothering to explain, told him they had already seen a doctor. Hu Cheng shouted anxiously that if he was still feverish after seeing the doctor, they should hurry to the hospital!
Ning Yue stared at him coldly, neither speaking nor moving.
Hu Cheng finally sensed something was wrong and asked, “Why are you staring at me? Hurry up! What if his condition worsens!”
Hu Ziyuan buried himself in Ning Yue’s embrace: “No! I don’t want to go to the hospital!” Probably remembering the pain of the throat swab, his eyes reddened again.
Unable to raise his voice at the child, Hu Cheng finally suppressed his temper.
Ning Yue said: “He started getting a cold yesterday afternoon, fevered at night, and we went to see the doctor this morning. Tell me, where did I delay? We just got back from the hospital. If you think he should be completely better to prove we’ve seen a doctor, then doctors would have to be miracle workers. Calm down—we’ve had all the necessary checkups, got the medicine, and now he just needs to rest well. We’ll take good care of him and prevent any complications. Going to the hospital repeatedly would only increase his risk of infection.”
These words left Hu Cheng speechless. However, he showed no sign of embarrassment, as if Ning Yue’s words hadn’t been directed at him, and he had already moved on to talking with Hu Ziyuan.
Ning Yue hadn’t expected him to apologize for his rudeness or rashness. Over these many years, she had constantly convinced herself that everyone was different. The fact that Hu Cheng could be so successful was partly due to his “gift” of only seeing others’ faults while being blind to his own problems.
This time, Ning Yue wanted to let it go again, but watching Hu Cheng happily playing with their child, she couldn’t help but say, “Shouldn’t you apologize for yelling at me when you came in?”
Hu Cheng paused, then said “Oh,” but frowned and continued, “In the future, tell me when our child is sick. If Mom hadn’t called me, I wouldn’t have known anything.”
Ning Yue felt a sudden suffocating sensation in her chest, while Hu Cheng turned away nonchalantly to play again. Who wouldn’t want someone to share their anxiety when their child is sick? But ever since last winter when she called during Hu Ziyuan’s illness and Tian Qiuzi answered, she had stopped expecting anything from Hu Cheng.
After learning that Hu Ziyuan had the flu, a disease without specific treatment where the virus would die off in six or seven days, Hu Cheng relaxed. Near dinner time, he received a phone call, shut himself on the balcony to talk for a while, then came in to tell Ning Yue he had to meet a client.
Ning Yue merely responded with a “mm,” saying nothing more.
However, the elderly father, who had come to see his grandson, heard this and asked Hu Cheng disapprovingly: “You haven’t been home for three days, and after less than three hours back, you’re leaving again. Have you adopted your clients as your father?”
Ning Yue almost laughed out loud. Men staying out all night troubled not only their wives but their parents as well. The old man’s resentment was quite evident!
Hu Cheng brought up excuses about the new company being busy, but his father waved him off, telling him to get going. Though he had vented his frustration, he still cared about his son’s career. Moreover, with the house and car mortgaged to the bank, they couldn’t be too willful. While seeing Hu Cheng out, the old man still reminded his son to take care of himself and not work too hard.
Ning Yue thought to herself: “Don’t worry, your son is surrounded by colorful company, and people who want to take care of him need to make appointments in advance.”
Hu Ziyuan had a high fever for three days before it started to drop. It wasn’t until the fifth day that his temperature fell below 37 degrees, but the fever had depleted his body, and he began eating and sleeping well. Ning Yue worried about him eating too much after several days of poor appetite and tried to restrict him. Unsurprisingly, this led to another battle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Her mother-in-law was crying and wailing in the room, while her father-in-law tried to console her in a low voice, only to provoke louder crying about how she had raised Hu Cheng and her experience, until in her anger and agitation, something crashed with a loud bang.
Ning Yue was playing with Hu Ziyuan in the study, and finding the noise outside too stifling, simply closed the door.
Hu Ziyuan looked up at her, and she forced a smile saying, “It’s too noisy.”
Hu Ziyuan asked, “Why is Grandmother crying?”
Ning Yue said, “Grandmother wants you to eat more, but Mommy won’t allow it. Grandmother is worried because she cares about you.”
“But why won’t you let me eat?”
“I’m afraid you’ll get indigestion!”
Ning Yue explained, “You haven’t eaten much these past few days, so the little elves in your tummy have been resting, right? If you suddenly eat a lot of food now, it would be like an avalanche for them. Wouldn’t they be startled? It’s like if you haven’t played outside for days, and suddenly someone asks you to race with Putao, could you run?”
Hu Ziyuan had a moment of realization and patted his little belly: “I need to let the little elves recover slowly before I can eat lots of food. Otherwise, they’ll get too tired!”
Ning Yue smiled and stroked her son’s head, all the distress from her mother-in-law’s crying completely vanishing.
From Tian Qiuzi’s provocative phone call back then, Ning Yue had guessed that her current job had something to do with Tian Qiuzi. Hu Cheng’s unusually annoyed attitude toward her job also confirmed her thoughts.
She had never asked Hu Cheng how she got this job or whose connections were used, but she was certain Tian Qiuzi was the main introducer, and Hu Cheng’s evasive attitude suggested he might have been passive in the matter, perhaps even in a position of being controlled. What made him feel oppressed was likely Tian Qiuzi herself.
Hu Cheng was a major client department manager, but not influential enough to move the vice president in charge of group procurement. However, Tian Qiuzi, as an investor, was different. Ning Yue had even deduced some facts from the contracts she handled: this group was Hu Cheng’s client, and their procurement framework agreement was signed two years ago, a year before she joined. Meanwhile, in the group’s capital structure chart, she could find traces of Tian Qiuzi’s investment bank. She had reason to believe that the more senior Tian Qiuzi had helped Hu Cheng secure this client, and when she was giving Hu Cheng trouble, it was also Tian Qiuzi who solved the problem. This meant that Ning Yue’s job was introduced by her rival in love, and Tian Qiuzi’s connections in this company were not only beyond her reach but even made Hu Cheng bow his head.
Hu Cheng liked to conquer women, so most women around him were either powerful or ambitious, but he didn’t like women who were stronger than him, especially those he had “conquered.” For Hu Cheng, before he “had his way,” the stronger you were, the more attractive you were to him. After he “had his way,” the stronger you were, the more he resented you. It was contradictory, but that’s how he was! This was one of the reasons why Ning Yue had initially decided to quit her job and stay home to take care of their child.
Tian Qiuzi loved humbly but was too successful in her career. The more she helped Hu Cheng, the more he probably became wary of her, and the colder he became toward her.
Ning Yue told herself that Tian Qiuzi wasn’t scary. But there was always a voice inside asking her: What about the future? Would there be a Dong Qiuzi or Hai Qiuzi in the future? Would they all be that foolish?
After countless doubts and affirmations, that voice would always firmly tell her: You are destined to be abandoned!
When Hu Ziyuan was finally able to go out for walks, Ning Yue felt dizzy in the long-missed sunlight. Next, she would have to face the workaholic Qin Can. Perhaps Qin Can had already mentally fired her a hundred times.
Did she have a chance to keep this job?
She remembered telling Hu Cheng about her conflict with Qin Can over taking leave when he was home. Surprisingly, instead of immediately telling her to quit, Hu Cheng thought for a moment and asked, “Your department handles internal investigations? Does Director Chen from the procurement department, at that level, fall under your jurisdiction?”
Ning Yue carefully considered her words: “I’m just administrative staff, I’m not allowed to attend their meetings. I only know about this from overhearing their conversations.”
Hu Cheng nodded, seeming to recall something, and after being lost in thought for a while, asked as if just remembering: “What were you telling me earlier?”
Ning Yue said, “I said Qin Can might fire me this time.”
“Mm, I got it,” Hu Cheng said before going off to tend to his own business.
Ning Yue had a bad feeling. Back when she first cooperated with Hu Cheng to bring down his immediate superior, he had been like this too. By the time he confidently told her the result, it was already a perfect plan that only needed her execution.
What she feared came to pass. After lunch, while Hu Ziyuan was playing in the small living room and the elderly couple had gone for their usual afternoon nap, Ning Yue received a call from Pan Jie asking when she would return to work, with seemingly more to say. Ning Yue directly asked if she was being fired. Pan Jie said it wasn’t exactly that, but this time Qin Can said he would give her compensation based on the n+2 formula.
“Why does he want to fire me?”
This wasn’t her first time taking leave, and she hadn’t delayed any work. Ning Yue felt angry and couldn’t help but want to argue about it.
Pan Jie said, “Never mind, come and let the boss talk to you himself. It’s not what you think. The boss is doing this for your good.”
After hanging up, Ning Yue’s hand trembled as she threw the phone against the wall with a bang, not knowing if the screen had cracked. Ning Yue closed her eyes, and just as her emotions were about to collapse, suddenly, someone pushed open the door: “Mommy, will you read this book to me?”
All her emotions quickly fell back into place, all her loss of composure was suppressed, and though her facial muscles were slightly stiff, it wouldn’t frighten the child.
Hu Ziyuan asked curiously, “Mommy, what’s wrong?”
“Mommy is a little angry. A bad person wants to bully Mommy.”
“Who? I’ll go beat them up!”
“Hitting people won’t help.”
“Then what should we do?”
Ning Yue was silent for a moment: “I don’t know. But there’s always a way when you reach the mountain, right?” She stroked Hu Ziyuan’s hair, forcing herself to smile, “Even if there isn’t a way, as long as Mommy is here, we’ll always find a way through!”
The final days of leave passed quickly. As Hu Ziyuan hadn’t fully recovered, Ning Yue requested another week’s leave from the kindergarten, but only his grandparents could stay with him at home. Used to his mother’s company, the little one’s eyes welled up at their sudden separation. Only when his grandfather tempted him with electronic games did he break into a smile through his tears.
The office was empty, and Ning Yue needed to arrange each workstation according to everyone’s habits before they arrived.
From each person’s desk, one could glimpse the owner’s character. Observing everyone’s habits was Ning Yue’s custom, and one of the pleasures she gained from this job.
Qin Can and Zhou Tianming’s desks were always in disarray. Pan Jie and Lawyer Qian were consistently neat. Qin Can prefer to have everything displayed on his desk. Zhou Tianming treated his workstation like a convenience store. Lawyer Qian’s space was starkly empty as if he wanted to hide even the dust—rumor had it he had other part-time work, though no one had concrete proof. As for Pan Jie, she had turned her workstation into a cozy home, with fresh flowers year-round, a constantly fragrant health kettle, and even a massager hidden under her desk.
When buying coffee, He Kuan was nowhere to be seen—probably too busy to wait in line anymore. Success never comes easily! Whether starting a business or raising a child, both require considerable sacrifice!
Bringing coffee and other drinks to the office, she found Zhou Tianming and Pan Jie had already arrived. Ning Yue sensed their strange glances, but no one addressed the elephant in the room. They quickly thanked her for their drinks and buried themselves in work.
Ning Yue entered Qin Can’s office, where he was already seated.
After setting down the coffee, Qin Can said, “Ning Yue, please sit down. I need to discuss something with you.”
She understood his meaning, but found it both laughable and tragic—Qin Can was firing her for her good. Genuinely for her good, without any pretense!
Qin Can have two points: First, her work status was inappropriate. If one comes to work, they should be fully committed. Constantly taking leave showed an irresponsible attitude. Moreover, in a team, such behavior affects team harmony. Second, she had a child who needed care, and her family wasn’t short on money, so she should go home to care for her child. Wouldn’t giving the child undivided attention be better than leaving for eight or nine hours every day?
Qin Can speak with extreme sincerity, and Ning Yue understood he truly believed this!
However, it was bizarre for a single man to earnestly discuss with a mother how to give a child complete love and companionship. No wonder Pan Jie and Zhou Tianming had seemed so uncomfortable.
Ning Yue carefully studied Qin Can for a moment before slowly asking, choosing her words carefully: “Director Qin, I don’t know what makes you so concerned about child-rearing during growth, but you see, this involves my family matters. How I arrange my family affairs seems…”
Qin Can blushed and said, “I genuinely think this way, don’t misunderstand. You’ve seen your work situation—it doesn’t reflect your true value. With your abilities, you could become an excellent legal professional, but you’re not fully committed to this job, and whenever there’s a conflict between your child and work, you always choose your child. That being the case, why waste time here?” After a pause, he added, “It’s not good for the child either.”
Ning Yue sincerely replied: “Director Qin, thank you! But I’m not wasting time. Because if I don’t work now, by the time my child grows up and doesn’t need me anymore, I’ll have no chance to work at all. I love working! Please, believe me, caring for my child is my obligation, which I must fulfill well. But work is my interest. I enjoy the state of working, and the sense of achievement it brings me. Even a job like this one, which might seem worthless to you, I find meaningful—at least it creates a good working environment for everyone. Doing it well requires effort. I’m doing what I can now to keep an opportunity open for when I can do more.” After speaking, Ning Yue was almost moved to tears by her own words. She also suddenly realized that beyond coping with her fractured marriage, she still had such expectations for the future!
Qin Can hadn’t expected Ning Yue to think this way. Thoughts rushed madly into his mind—he had wanted to persuade her to go home and care for her child because it would be better for the child. But undeniably, he strongly agreed with Ning Yue’s view that women must have their work, especially after becoming mothers.
Qin Can sighed and surprisingly stood up to pour Ning Yue a glass of water. Handing it to her, he said, “To be honest, I was often alone at home as a child. My mother worked too. Not as some career woman, just an ordinary office worker. I remember when everyone else had left, I’d be alone in the classroom waiting for her. When bored, I’d sweep the entire classroom floor again. Once, I cleaned every chair leg, and my mother still hadn’t come—the teacher took me home for dinner.” Qin Can looked out the window, his eyes slightly irritated. After a pause, he continued, “It’s hard for mothers to work. If it’s not necessary, it’s better to stay home with the children.”
Ning Yue listened quietly, then responded with a bitter smile: “If possible, who wouldn’t want to stay home with their children? There are always unavoidable reasons for doing this.”
Qin Can didn’t argue. He certainly knew his mother’s reason—divorce. His father had married his so-called true love, and his mother had voluntarily stepped aside and then taken him away from that home.
This wasn’t something to share with others, but he tacitly accepted Ning Yue’s explanation.
Ning Yue waited a while, and seeing Qin Can silent but not opposing, felt the need to clarify: “What you said earlier is right—this current job might be somewhat excessive for me. I could do more complex work, and take on more responsibility, but whether I work or not, I’m first and foremost a mother. Even though I’m forced to work, I won’t forget my maternal responsibilities. I need to devote more energy to caring for my children and set aside more time for them. Perhaps this time and energy isn’t enough for my child, but it’s the most I can give. I need this job—it’s the most suitable for me right now.”
Something seemed to strike Qin Can like lightning, a bright thought clearing all his thoughts:
This is already the most she can give you!
What more do you want?
What more do you want?
“You ruined me! If you didn’t have the ability, why did you choose to raise me in the first place!”
Words once spoken finally broke free from the abyss, twisting chains forming an evil dragon, roaring in Qin Can’s mind! Those years, those people, those words, that anger, those tears, and the despair—all broke through their sealed tomb, reviving in Qin Can’s mind…
“No!” Qin Can shouted, struggling desperately.
Don’t go! Listen to my explanation!
Don’t go! I’m your son!
Don’t go! Didn’t you promise not to leave?
Don’t go! Didn’t you say that even if the whole world abandoned me, you wouldn’t leave?
Pan Jie and Zhou Tianming rushed into the office at Ning Yue’s cry, surprised to see Qin Can collapse at his desk, giving Ning Yue a startled look. Before they could ask, Zhou Tianming spoke: “Heavens, Ning Yue, what did you say to the boss to make him faint from anger!”
Ning Yue looked at them innocently, shaking her head helplessly: “I didn’t say anything special! Just told him I wanted to keep this job! Don’t talk anymore, let’s get him to the hospital quickly!”
No one dared to move, only watching as Ning Yue went to make a call. At that moment, Qin Can suddenly groaned and stirred.
“He’s awake!” Pan Jie exclaimed, hurrying over to look.
Zhou Tianming stood aside muttering: “Boss wants to fire you that badly? You don’t want to leave, and it almost killed him! Hmm, maybe I should learn from this.”
Just then, Qin Can furrowed his brow but kept his eyes closed. Pan Jie suddenly stood straight and turned to look at Zhou Tianming. Zhou Tianming curiously tried to look at Qin Can but was pushed back by Pan Jie!
Ning Yue glanced at Pan Jie, hesitated, then pulled out a tissue and wiped away the tears from Qin Can’s eyes.
Pan Jie swept an authoritative glance over everyone and said in a low, stern voice: “We didn’t see anything!”
Zhou Tianming, who had already seen, immediately nodded, then tugged at Pan Jie’s clothes: “He’s coming around, should we leave first? Or come back later?”
As Pan Jie hesitated, Ning Yue looked at Qin Can: “He probably doesn’t want to be seen like this. You should all go out. If anything happens, I’ll call you.”
Pan Jie was still hesitating, but Zhou Tianming had already pulled her out!
Ning Yue looked around, poured a glass of warm water, and used a coffee spoon to slowly feed it into Qin Can’s mouth.
Qin Can hadn’t opened his eyes yet, his whole body limp, his large head lolling. This wasn’t difficult—Hu Ziyuan had been much softer when he was little! Ning Yue first positioned Qin Can’s body against the chair back, then adjusted the backrest’s height so he could recline naturally, then turned his head sideways and used the spoon to gently pry open his mouth—
Qin Can wouldn’t open his mouth.
Ning Yue felt this wasn’t the kind of not opening one’s mouth that came with unconsciousness. Carefully observing his expression, reminded her of Hu Ziyuan when he was caught in nightmares as a child. She reached out and gently patted his back, saying, “Wake up, wake up.” She almost added “Mommy’s here, don’t be afraid” but caught herself.
However, Qin Can’s expression had already softened. Ning Yue quickly spooned some water into his mouth. Qin Can’s eyelids trembled and slowly opened. He looked at the person before him with unfocused eyes, his mouth moved, but no sound came out!
Ning Yue had seen this kind of lip movement many times. Though startled inside, she realized that for such a proud and stubborn leader, the best approach was to pretend she hadn’t heard clearly or understood!
“What did you say?” Ning Yue asked softly.
Qin Can’s eyes suddenly focused. Ning Yue was relieved—he was back! She quickly stood up, stepped back, and assumed a respectful posture. Qin Can rubbed his temples, not looking at Ning Yue, and asked, “What happened to me?”
“You suddenly fainted.”
“Fainted? For how long?”
“Not long. Just a moment.”
“Did you call anyone?”
“Didn’t have time.”
Qin Can lower his shoulders, supporting his forehead as he collected himself. Ning Yue breathed a sigh of relief and waited silently.
“I didn’t say anything, did I?”
Ning Yue looked at Qin Can with confusion, answering indirectly: “Say what? Should we call a doctor?” There was a pharmacy downstairs with a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner.
Qin Can waved his hand, “No need. You can go now!”
Ning Yue was worried about her job but knew this wasn’t the time to ask. Though hesitant, she turned to leave.
“Who called me just now?” Qin Can suddenly asked from behind.
Ning Yue rolled her eyes slightly and asked seriously: “Did someone call you?”
Qin Can studied her carefully before finally waving her away.
A glass of water sat on the desk, with a small coffee spoon beside it. Qin Can picked up the coffee spoon and examined it carefully.
Just moments ago, as he desperately chased that glimmer of light, hopelessly plunging into the deepest abyss, struggling in the dense black void, he seemed to hear a familiar gentle voice calling him: “Wake up, wake up!” Then, a cool drop fell, and in that moment of hesitation, pulled him back to reality.
He put the small spoon in his mouth, the sensation both familiar and strange: after every nightmare, someone would wake him like this, patting him awake, then feeding him some water when he was half-asleep…
But that was from so long ago, so long that he didn’t even want to remember!
Pan Jie brought the resignation form for Ning Yue to fill out. Seeing Ning Yue’s eyes closed in distress, she didn’t disturb her, just standing quietly aside waiting.
Ning Yue took the form, picked up a pen to fill it out, and then dejectedly threw the pen aside. Pan Jie looked at her in surprise as Ning Yue stood up and said, “I won’t leave! I can’t leave!”
If she left now, she might never have a better job opportunity for the rest of her life! This was her last chance, and she absolutely couldn’t give up like this.
“But—” Pan Jie turned to look at Qin Can’s office.
Ning Yue said, “Thank you, Pan Jie, I won’t make things difficult for you. Leave the form here, but I won’t fill it out or submit it now.”
“If you cause trouble like this and anger the director, it might affect your compensation,” Pan Jie kindly advised.
Ning Yue smiled bitterly: “If I don’t mind being administrative staff, why would I care about compensation? You can transfer me, but I won’t resign.”
Pan Jie sighed softly: “Think about it some more, calm down a bit.” Then she returned to her desk.
Watching Pan Jie leave, Ning Yue let out a breath, her brows furrowing again. She could brag to her child, pretending mommy was the most amazing person in the world. But in reality, when the “bad guys” really came, she had no way to fight back. No, that wasn’t entirely true! Ning Yue bit her lower lip and walked to Qin Can’s office door, knocking on the panel.
“Come in.” Qin Can’s voice revealed obvious fatigue.
Ning Yue entered, neither crying nor making a scene, pretending not to notice Qin Can’s exhaustion. She focused on showing him the timeline for completing the internal investigation that Director Luo had implemented, the average working hours for each person (Ning Yue had calculated Pan Jie and Zhou Tianming’s work hours), and the actual workload.
Qin Can finally perked up, “I know this, why are you showing me?”
“You can’t complete it,” Ning Yue said bluntly, getting straight to the point. “Not only can’t you finish it in the time you promised, but the deadline Director Luo set for you was an impossible task to begin with.”
Qin Can’s face darkened as he glared at Ning Yue.
Ning Yue wasn’t afraid and said, “I have a way to help you complete it within Director Luo’s deadline.”
“Speak!”
“Bring back Lawyer Qian. His current case just finished its court hearing. The verdict will be announced in three days, he can come back then.”
“Even outsourced lawyers need our people to supervise,” Qin Can said slowly, staring at Ning Yue.
Ning Yue smiled: “You know better than I do which law firm Lawyer Qian’s license is registered with.”
Qin Can’s expression stiffened. Not only did Lawyer Qian have an extra job, but he did too. Ning Yue’s words were simply reminding him that the so-called “outsourced lawyers” were just mutual accommodations based on special relationships, and whether supervision was needed was just a matter of saying so. Such things were better left unsaid even if known. Ning Yue wouldn’t have brought it up if she hadn’t been pushed to this point.
Qin Can smile: “Surprising that you know so much despite being away for so long.”
“Being responsible for departmental document organization makes it easy to understand a department’s history and information.”
Qin Can thought for a moment: “Even if Old Qian comes back, it would barely meet Luo’s requirements.”
As an old legal professional, Luo Yating knew all these tricks. Setting the deadline based on Old Qian’s workload was calculated either to embarrass Qin Can in front of company colleagues or to squeeze his income stream, benefiting both ways. That’s why Qin Can was putting up a show of strength while stubbornly refusing to let Old Qian return. He had to win on one front at least.
Ning Yue said, “I can help you complete it within your promised time.”
Qin Can raise an eyebrow—he had calculated this too, but Ning Yue had refused before. But Ning Yue quickly added: “I can do a significant portion at home.”
“Company internal materials can’t leave the premises,” Qin Can frowned.
“I won’t touch what can’t leave. There’s still organizing, summarizing, and spreadsheets that don’t require being on-site. I’ve looked it over, it can be completed with proper arrangement.”
Qin Can twirled the pen in his hand, and after a long while, suddenly asked: “If you work at home, who will accompany your child?”
Ning Yue was startled, not expecting the conversation to suddenly turn to her child, but still answered: “I can work when he’s asleep. Children usually fall asleep around 9:30. I can work then, it doesn’t matter if I sleep a bit later.”
Qin Can’s expression remained neutral: “Before you started working, what did you do during those hours?”
Ning Yue’s face felt hot, but she still said: “I studied the judicial examination system requirements and some business-related materials.”
“Did you take the exam?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“No time.”
“What about your lawyer’s license?”
“It’s still registered with the firm.”
Qin Can nodded, “Registration costs money. Haven’t you thought about giving it up all these years?”
Ning Yue shook her head: “Never thought about it.”
Qin Can stopped asking, staring blankly at the pen in his hand, seemingly lost in some inexplicable emotion.
After an unknown time, Qin Can suddenly asked: “Why haven’t you left yet? Oh, do as you suggested. Give your card to Pan Jie, and let her help you punch in. As for time—manage it yourself!” He nodded as if answering his question. “Do it well, you must do it well.”
Ning Yue thought today’s Qin Can was acting like a lunatic, but things weren’t bad for her. Particularly valuable was that Qin Can have voluntarily given her flexible working hours. This was extremely important for Ning Yue!
After everything was settled, Ning Yue walked out of the office with everyone else, looking up at the clock on the wall—exactly 11:30. Time to order lunch again.
Ning Yue went out to prepare. Just after she left, Qin Can came out, walking to Zhou Tianming’s desk with a puzzled expression, asking: “Where’s Ning Yue?”
“Just went out. Said the toner ran out,” Pan Jie stood up to answer.
Zhou Tianming also stood up curiously, “Boss, are you ordering lunch too?”
Qin Can didn’t eat lunch, usually finding food himself around 3 PM. Qin Can took out his phone and showed Zhou Tianming: “Look, for over half a month now, Ning Yue has sent me WeChat messages at this time, then immediately deleted them.”
He said it straightforwardly, but others heard it differently. Pan Jie and Zhou Tianming exchanged shocked glances, and Zhou Tianming stammered: “Well, I don’t know! But when I was in school, there was a senior who wanted to pursue me, she always sent WeChat messages like this.”
Pan Jie rebuked Zhou Tianming, but Qin Can looked confused. He had never thought of it that way, and besides, Ning Yue was a married mother (though she didn’t look like one)—it was too far-fetched!
Just then, Ning Yue came in. Pan Jie quickly pulled her aside and repeated Qin Can’s question. Though she said it with a smile, the aggressive tone in her words made Ning Yue momentarily surprised—her urgent manner seemed like she was jealous and anxious for clarification!
Before Ning Yue could think it through, Pan Jie urged her again. Ning Yue could only apologize and say: “Oh, I’m sorry. The noodle shop owner downstairs has a profile picture that looks a bit like yours.”
Qin Can, such a proud rooster, being mistaken for a noodle shop owner, immediately changed color. Ning Yue hurriedly took out her phone, opened the noodle shop owner’s profile picture, enlarged it, and showed it to everyone.
Zhou Tianming spoke quickly: “Wow! It does look similar!”
The noodle shop owner was also ambitious, not only using his photo as a profile picture but wearing a suit and tie, making himself look like a social elite, and indeed bearing some resemblance to Qin Can!
Pan Jie burst out laughing. Qin Can made a dismissive sound and changed his profile picture to a unicorn and scales before leaving.
Only after his figure completely disappeared outside the office door did Zhou Tianming and Pan Jie burst out laughing. Ning Yue had already received the food delivery notification and hurried downstairs to get it.
After lunch, work proceeded smoothly. The email inbox made a soft “ding” sound as an unread message loaded.
Ning Yue opened it to find an HR notice. Not termination, but a transfer. She was transferred to the sales center at headquarters to assist with compliance management and contract supervision, directly under the group legal affairs department, reporting to the legal director responsible for this area. The highest leader of the group legal department was the group vice president. This meant that Ning Yue was—almost skyrocketing to the top.
Ning Yue frowned. Although she didn’t want to be fired, it didn’t mean she would take any job. The work after the transfer was more important than her previous administrative role, which meant overtime and business trips were possible. Moreover, she had just reached an agreement with Qin Can, so why did this transfer request suddenly appear?
Had Qin Can changed his mind again?
Ning Yue scanned the email—all the usual relevant departments had been notified, including Qin Can.
Qin Can’s door burst open as he strode out, asking Ning Yue: “What’s this transfer from HR about? Ning Yue, you really had a backup plan! How about it, now that Luo Yating has given you better conditions, are you planning to leave?”
Ning Yue shook her head, pointing at the screen, “I never approached Director Luo. Besides, I don’t think this job suits me.”
Qin Can asked again: “Did you tell Luo Yating?”
His question seemed disconnected, but after thinking for a moment, Ning Yue guessed he might be referring to the morning’s work arrangements, and shook her head again.
Qin Can looked at Pan Jie and Zhou Tianming, who immediately shook their heads. Qin Can couldn’t help but grab his hair in frustration.
Ning Yue asked: “Director Qin, can I not go?”
Qin Can glared and said as he walked out: “What do you mean ‘can you not go?’ You absolutely must not go! Come with me!”
HR’s response was simple—the transfer was proposed by the sales center itself. They needed legal personnel to help supervise and track some projects, but the legal department couldn’t spare anyone and couldn’t recruit suitable people quickly. After considering options, they remembered there was an older administrative assistant with a lawyer’s license in Qin Can’s department. After looking into it, they felt that while her experience was lacking, it could be gradually supplemented, and her foundation was good, so they decided on this.
Ning Yue and Qin Can exchanged glances, neither believing it. Qin Can asked Ning Yue: “You still have a lawyer’s license? It hasn’t expired?”
Practice certificates needed annual registration and required institutional affiliation. Ning Yue hadn’t worked for almost ten years; saying she had a valid practice certificate was less believable than saying her social insurance was still being paid.
Ning Yue just nodded, she had vaguely guessed who was behind this.
Qin Can said fiercely: “If Director Luo wants someone, we have to give them up? I came here just to tell you, I don’t agree to Ning Yue’s transfer!”
Ning Yue glanced at Qin Can, suddenly finding him quite adorable!
The person in charge of this matter was HR Manager Qiu, the one who had previously fainted from Qin Can’s words. Having served in the company for many years, he was shrewd and well aware of the grudge between Qin Can and Director Luo! He didn’t insist, just said with a troubled face: “Wasn’t it you who first proposed dismissing her, and then the sales center raised their request? Director Luo isn’t involved. Besides, this is a great opportunity for Ning Yue.”
Qin Can have indeed proposed dismissing Ning Yue that morning… He suddenly hated his efficiency, silently warning himself to be slower with personnel matters in the future, but outwardly remained defiant: “My proposal to dismiss is a dismissal matter, and the company has dismissal procedures. The transfer is a completely different matter, unrelated to dismissal! I don’t handle and don’t agree to the transfer. As for the dismissal, I’m withdrawing it now. Company regulations state that applications can be withdrawn before superior departments approve them. Manager Qiu, please note this.”
Manager Qiu certainly saw clearly—the withdrawal application had entered the system almost simultaneously with the transfer notice, and he had been wondering how to reject it! Now that Qin Can have brought it up himself, Manager Qiu gladly took the opportunity: “Alright. But you’ll need to tell Director Luo yourself. And Director Wang from the sales center.”
Qin Can waved his hand to show he understood. Seeing Ning Yue still standing there as he left, he said impatiently: “It’s done, nothing to worry about. Didn’t you see I handled everything?”
Given the space, Ning Yue would have burst into laughter. The resolution was beyond imagination—no matter how hard she racked her brain, she couldn’t have thought of such a solution! Now she was quite curious how that person working behind the scenes would make their next move!
With matters nearly settled, those involved relaxed. HR was on the eighteenth floor, and Qin Can’s office was on the fourteenth. While waiting for the elevator, Qin Can suddenly pointed to the emergency stairwell nearby and said, “Let’s take that, we can get some exercise.”
Ning Yue usually took the stairs up and down when not pressed for time. Qin Can’s suggestion suited her perfectly.
Although the company building was very tall, this emergency stairwell had windows on every floor. And the windows weren’t small—on clear days, you could even see the mountains in the distance. Many people often used these stairs, including Ning Yue. She rarely had the chance to use the gym membership card Zhuo Hao had given her. His friends had called several times urging her to come, which was already quite considerate. But Ning Yue had no time, so the matter was dropped. Zhuo Hao simply found some simple fitness videos for her to follow, convenient for exercising anytime. For instance, there were many fitness moves while walking. Ning Yue’s favorite was jumping up and down stairs, doing some boxing and combat movements, both training reflexes and strengthening whole-body muscles. Although time constraints prevented her from going to the gym, Ning Yue was very vigilant about her health because Hu Ziyuan often got sick. After all, who would take care of Hu Ziyuan if she fell ill?
Of course, she couldn’t do this with Qin Can present.
“For a lawyer, physical health is more important than mental acuity,” Qin Can opened with. “Many people lose clients not because of poor professional ability, but because their bodies can’t handle it.”
Ning Yue recalled that sand-filled laptop and couldn’t help but smile.
“I heard you used to work on ships?”
Ning Yue nodded but showed no intention of elaborating.
Qin Can said: “Ordinary people can’t handle ships. I get dizzy as soon as I board one. When I was young, my mom took me boating in the park, and my crying was the only sound across the lake. I got a fever after getting off the boat, which worried my mom—” Qin Can stop. He remembered that time when he was sick, his mom took three days off to care for him, but ended up staying home for seven days before going back to work.
He didn’t understand as a child, but later learned she had been fired after taking those three days off. After seven days, she found temporary work to keep going.
Qin Can hadn’t finished, and Ning Yue looked at him curiously.
Qin Can turned to look at Ning Yue, suddenly asking: “If I had insisted on dismissing you, what would you have done?”
“I don’t know,” Ning Yue seemed somewhat lost, “but I would have to find another job.”
Qin Can seem to consider for a long time before asking: “Why do you need to work? From what I know, your family situation isn’t bad.” He smiled. “Someone who drives a Mercedes surely doesn’t do their housework? If you’re just taking care of your child, why must you work outside?”
This wasn’t the first time Ning Yue had heard this—she had long known that in this society, full-time mothers were always synonymous with “leisure.” She didn’t rush to explain, as she neither wanted to complain to Qin Can nor make him think she was just looking for something to do.
Walking down two steps, Ning Yue unconsciously hopped twice. Qin Can immediately recognized these as combat steps and was slightly startled, then heard Ning Yue ask him: “If you worked at a good company with good benefits, would you think this should just be yours and you could live worry-free there forever?”
Of course not.
Qin Can know the answer. Every somewhat clear-headed person in the workplace lives with the constant potential fear of being fired by their boss. But he had asked about Ning Yue’s home, yet she answered with workplace analogies—what did that mean?
Did Ning Yue have the same fears at home as in the workplace?
This thought kept circling in Qin Can’s mind.
Ning Yue stopped and looked back, only to see Qin Can standing dazed on the steps. Remembering his fainting spell that morning, she quickly went over and asked, “What’s wrong? Not feeling well?”
“It’s nothing!” Qin Can come to his senses, involuntarily asking, “How can home be like the workplace?”
“Homes need managing too!” Ning Yue sighed deeply, “If not done well, the harm between family members—” she stopped.
Qin Can asked urgently and severely: “What about it?”
Ning Yue, also immersed in her emotions, said softly: “Can be fatal.”
Qin Can froze, instantly overwhelmed by massive pain that left him immobile. Ning Yue stared at the distant mountain silhouette, thinking of her own dark, hopeless life.
Silence congealed in the narrow but bright observation stairwell.
After a long while, Ning Yue suddenly snapped out of her daze to find Qin Can pale-faced, covered in cold sweat, leaning against the wall.
“Lawyer Qin!” Ning Yue was startled, quickly supporting him while pulling out a pack of wet wipes from her pocket to wipe his forehead. Her other hand firmly pushed down his spine, and Qin Can groaned, his eyes regaining focus.
He looked at Ning Yue with frightening eyes, “Is misunderstanding, not harm?”
Ning Yue cautiously answered: “If there’s harm, it’s no longer just a misunderstanding.”
After she spoke, she felt her arm sink as Qin Can could barely stand, slowly crouching down. Fortunately, no one was around at this time. Ning Yue followed Qin Can’s movement, slowly helping him sit on the ground.
Suddenly Qin Can’s eyes widened as he glared at Ning Yue, shouting: “No, misunderstanding is just misunderstanding! Misunderstanding means you understood wrong, I didn’t do anything wrong! Even if there’s harm, you hurt yourself, it has nothing to do with me!” He suddenly grabbed Ning Yue’s shoulders, shaking her violently while saying: “You understood wrong! You’re wrong! I never meant to hurt you, never! Was I wrong to pursue my path? Was I wrong to strive upward? No! I’m not wrong, I never hurt you! Why are you so stupid? You’re always so stupid! You couldn’t afford to raise me, yet you took me away from my father, you were trying to be strong but made me pay the price! I won’t feel guilty! I won’t!”
Ning Yue felt dizzy from the shaking, but each word struck her heart like thunder.
The person who had driven Qin Can to such madness was his mother! Though she didn’t know what had happened between Qin Can and his mother, undoubtedly, Qin Can was now hallucinating, seeing her as his mother!
Just as Ning Yue prepared to take action, trying to slap Qin Can back to his senses, he suddenly pushed her, shouting: “I want to leave you, leave you!”
Ning Yue felt intense pain in her head. Before darkness descended, she saw Qin Can rush to the stairs, then suddenly disappear…
Ning Yue slowly regained consciousness, finding herself propped against the wall corner. Qin Can sit beside her, his eyes restored to rationality.
“You’re awake?” Qin Can noticed Ning Yue, and as the culprit, he remained calm like an outsider, “I’m sorry.”
Ning Yue rubbed her head.
Qin Can said: “Go to the hospital later to get checked, no need to ask for leave. I’ll clock in for you.”
Ning Yue looked at her palm, counting five fingers with no double vision, “No need, I’m fine. Are you alright?”
Qin Can shook his head, a brief trance making him look like a big boy: “I just now—”
Ning Yue remained silent. Every family has its difficult book to read; she had no intention of prying into others’ privacy.
Qin Can take a deep breath: “What do you think about suicide?”
How perceptive was Ning Yue—she immediately realized this topic was very likely related to Qin Can’s earlier outburst. Had his mother committed suicide? After careful consideration, she said: “Life is like walking with a heavy burden, death might be a form of release. It has nothing to do with love or not, with being willing to let go or not. Just like striving to live, suicide is merely a choice, and—” Ning Yue felt some emotion inside, “Although we all try very hard to live well when forced to shut down, the feeling of letting go of all burdens, in that instant of closing our eyes, must also be liberating, right?”
“Oh, so what about you? Would you take that easy way out?” Qin Can pressed, his still dreamy topic now carrying a rational tone, giving a sense of being half-awake.
Ning Yue dared not look at him, as she wasn’t sure about what she would say next. But based on her experience, when you don’t know what to say and can’t maintain silence, the safest approach is to tell the truth: “Generally not. After becoming a mother, I realized that illness and death are both very luxurious. Children are a mother’s lifelong responsibility, a lifetime’s concern. Even if life is very difficult, even if you’re just enduring and persevering, as long as you remember your maternal responsibility, and seeing your child beside you, you will never think of giving up. Being a mother means choosing a path without an end in sight—those endpoints and freedom the elderly talk about don’t exist.”
“So when you can’t endure anymore, can’t bear it anymore, you let go, right?” Qin Can asked.
Ning Yue shook her head: “No! For a mother, she will never let go. If she truly lets go, it only means that letting go is the best choice for the child. Whether accompanying or letting go, they’re just different ways of showing concern.”
“Letting go is the best choice?” Qin Can repeat softly, giving a cold laugh, “How is that possible!”
Ning Yue couldn’t help saying: “Why not? All love in the world is for coming together, only maternal love is for parting. A mother will eventually face the day of letting go of her child. Children grow up, leave, and have their own families. Everyone faces the approach of old age.”
Sunlight filtered through the frosted glass windows, spreading evenly, warmth gradually rising. Qin Can suddenly said: “I heard some things about your family. From Lawyer Liang.”
Liang Xing, Ning Yue’s classmate, was also a student leader at school. He had access to Ning Yue’s records.
Ning Yue smiled slightly: “It’s nothing. Many people know.”
“I heard your mother was going to divorce your father, but after an incident happened, they didn’t divorce. And lived out their lives together.” Qin Can say with an ambiguous smile, seemingly a kind of revenge, a counter-harm for Ning Yue’s inadvertent glimpse into his privacy.
Ning Yue sensed Qin Can’s undisguised malice but felt relieved inside. Compared to that possessed by Qin Can, she found this petty, vengeful little man easier to deal with.
She smiled, showing a helpless expression: “I can’t say for sure, but it wasn’t because of me!”
Qin Can was stunned for a moment, then suddenly burst into laughter.
Ning Yue shook her head, feeling a slight pain in her heart: she remembered the smile that remained on her mother’s face when she passed away. Remembered that final, long breath her mother exhaled before death… Without any attachment!
At this moment, it was so sharp, piercing deep into her heart.
Release!