Although thick felt blankets were spread inside the carriage and two small doors had been specially installed, the cold air still drilled in through small gaps from all directions, chilling everyone uncomfortably.
Yushu poured a cup of hot tea for Old Madam Song, then deliberately reached out to test the temperature of the foot warmer. Only after finding it still quite hot did she breathe a sigh of relief. “With no villages ahead or inns behind, I’m afraid we’ll have to lodge at a farmhouse again today.”
When traveling away from home, many things simply couldn’t be particular. Sometimes when the journey led to desolate mountains and wilderness, even if you had money, you couldn’t find decent lodging.
Old Madam Song had lived these many years and had traveled far before. This small inconvenience was still bearable, so she smiled and shook her head. “What of it? Years ago when the late Emperor traveled incognito, he even stayed in dilapidated temples. On the road, whether you’re imperial relatives or aristocratic nobility, having a place to shelter from wind and rain is already good. It’s just hard on you young ones who probably haven’t stayed in such places before.”
Yushu felt somewhat embarrassed. The night before last when they lodged at a farmer’s home, she had felt there was nowhere clean to step. Although they used their own bedding from home, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep soundly, always feeling there was a strange odor. She woke up the next day quite haggard. On the contrary, both Song Chuyi and Old Madam Song didn’t mind at all, showing not a trace of disdain, both very natural about it.
She smiled and pressed her lips together, taking the cup from Old Madam Song’s hand and crouching on the seat with a laugh. “It’s us servants who were being pretentious. Old Madam and Sixth Miss don’t mind, yet we were putting on the airs of important personages.”
Old Madam Song liked this quality in Yushu—never concealing anything, and honestly admitting when she made mistakes.
Only thinking of Song Chuyi, she couldn’t help but sigh. “What you say is quite true. I hadn’t expected that Little Yi at such a young age could endure such hardship.”
Turning her thoughts, she remembered what Song Chuyi had said before about the suffering she endured at Duke Yingguo’s manor, and couldn’t help feeling somewhat heartbroken. A young lady from a prominent aristocratic family could adapt so easily to such an environment—clearly in her dream, she had truly suffered enough hardship.
At noon the snow stopped for a while, and Song Chuyi came up to chat with Old Madam Song.
Old Madam Song finally couldn’t help but ask her, “Were your experiences in the dream really that profound? How can you set foot in such dirty places without your expression even changing?”
Song Chuyi was slightly stunned. After realizing what Old Madam Song was asking, she smiled. Watching Yushu arrange several snack boxes, her expression was composed yet carried an indescribable coldness.
“Grandmother, I remember when I made mistakes as a child, you always taught me not to make the same mistake twice.” Song Chuyi held her cup with both hands, the steam making her face somewhat hazy and unclear, but her voice was incomparably firm and clear. “I won’t allow myself to fall in the same place where I stumbled before.”
She wasn’t this fortunate because of rebirth. Her foresight in this life was gained through experiencing more than thirty years of a long life in her previous existence. Speaking of it, she should thank those nearly twenty years at Duke Yingguo’s manor in her previous life—a fate worse than death—that made her watch helplessly as her relatives died one by one, that pierced her heart with pain, that made her engrave these experiences so deeply in her mind that she dared not forget for a moment. Only then could this life be smoother than the last.
What did the mud in a farmhouse courtyard count for? In her previous life, when she reached the end of her rope at Duke Yingguo’s manor, she had even eaten wild grass from the courtyard to fill her stomach. Compared to that, her intestines in that previous life were probably even dirtier than the mud on this ground.
Old Madam Song rarely saw Song Chuyi reveal such a frightening expression. Knowing she had probably touched upon her painful memories again, she sighed and fell silent for a while, then suddenly spoke with feeling. “How difficult it is to be a woman in this world.”
Yes, what wrong had the women of this world committed?
In her previous life, she certainly had her faults—she shouldn’t have disregarded the distinction between men and women and followed behind Shen Qingrang every day, much less had improper contact with Shen Qingrang. But Shen Qingrang clearly didn’t like her, yet insisted on provoking her.
Since her rebirth, she always deliberately avoided the Shen family. Whenever she saw them, she felt that the resentment she had worked so hard to seal away was about to burst forth.
She knew she was at fault in her previous life, but she always believed it wasn’t her fault alone.
If Shen Qingrang didn’t like her, he could have simply rejected her, avoided her, and been a loving couple with Song Chuning instead—at that time Song Chuning was already more pleasing than herself, not to mention having Song Yi and Li Shi as protection. What couldn’t she obtain?
But none of them, including Li Shi, did anything. They coldly watched her throw herself at Shen Qingrang like a moth to flame, even smilingly praised her and Shen Qingrang as a match made in heaven, letting her fall bit by bit into an irredeemable abyss, laughing as they watched how she fell from heaven to hell, how she lost her biological son and brother.
Song Chuyi’s heart ached sharply. She put down her cup and covered her chest somewhat uncomfortably, a tear the size of a bean falling onto the back of her hand without warning.
In this life, Song Yan was still within her reach and sight, and she still had the opportunity to compensate her properly.
But her child—there would never be the same one again.
She lay prone on the table as if asleep. Old Madam Song was stunned for a moment, then waved her hand for Yushu to drape a blanket over her. Yet for some reason, she suddenly felt somewhat restless.
Perhaps it was timidity from nearing home. About to see the daughter she hadn’t seen in years and longed for day and night, even this old woman who had seen it all felt inexplicably apprehensive.
Song Chuyi wasn’t asleep. Lying on her elbows, she began calculating Song Chuning’s death date.
After her rebirth, she had once thought that perhaps Song Chuning was led astray by Li Shi, that she was instigated by Li Shi. She was only five years old—at this time, she might not have turned bad yet.
But reality had slapped her hard across the face.
This seemingly gentle and harmless little girl could unhesitatingly stab you while talking and laughing. If not for her good luck, if not for Qin Chuan’s son following Song Yan that night by coincidence, Song Yan would have been finished.
From that moment on, she had already harbored murderous intent toward Song Chuning.
She could tolerate Song Chuning’s jealousy, could understand her uncontrollable feelings for Shen Qingrang. But just like in her previous life, she could never accept Song Chuning making moves against the people around her.
The lessons of her previous life were enough. In this life, she absolutely wouldn’t allow the same thing to happen again.
She didn’t have the good fortune to be reborn once more, so she couldn’t afford to lose or delay anything. Someone as frightening as Song Chuning was best dealt with sooner rather than later.