Han Zhi almost suspected he had misheard. In his eyes, his aunt had always been extremely, extremely good to their family—to the younger Lady Fan, to Han Yueheng, to himself—with not a single flaw to pick out. Though he had nearly been killed by the elder Lady Fan, he had never thought about past events. Now hearing the younger Lady Fan say this, he finally sensed something was wrong—if the elder Lady Fan truly doted on him as in his memories, how could she unhesitatingly want to kill him just because he had ruined things? She clearly could have had better methods. As long as she was willing to come see him and speak a few soft words to him, he would have been willing to go through fire and water for her and the Prince of Dongping. The elder Lady Fan couldn’t have been unaware of this, yet she still chose to want him dead.
This made no sense at all—though his scheme against Song Yan had indeed harmed the interests of the Prince of Dongping and the elder Lady Fan, it wasn’t entirely without room for turning things around. Moreover, compared to the trouble he’d caused, his utility value was even greater. Yet the elder Lady Fan would rather not have this—she would rather have the Prince of Dongping lose this right arm, would rather abandon him, this pawn who charged into battle for her.
The younger Lady Fan suddenly raised her eyes. After years and years of keeping company with temple lamps and Buddhist statues, her entire person had originally become lifeless like a clay Buddha sculpture. But now her whole person emanated vitality. She stared straight at Han Zhi and spoke to him in gentle tones about past events.
She began from the day she entered the capital, speaking of what kind of longing and hope for the future she had harbored then, speaking of how later she had willingly yielded that piece “High Mountains and Flowing Water” to the elder Lady Fan, and also speaking of how later when she was a guest at the Jinxiang Marquis’s residence she had fainted, and what panic and helplessness she felt when she woke to find Han Zhengqing.
This story sounded very short, but the younger Lady Fan had struggled in this story for nearly twenty years. These past ten-plus years, she had suffered torment day and night, been humiliated by the elder Lady Fan, and had to stay far from him to ensure he wouldn’t be poisoned to death by those so-called famous doctors and physicians.
Han Zhi had always thought no one in this world could be more unfortunate than him, so he took it for granted to hate his mother, to hate everyone in this world who had a chance to start over and seemed happy, single-mindedly and almost humbly trying to grasp his aunt and cousin, this last bit of remaining warmth.
But in the end, he learned that from the moment of his birth he had been a chess piece, a piece the elder Lady Fan used to threaten the younger Lady Fan at any time. She used him to make the younger Lady Fan compromise, used him to control the younger Lady Fan, and indirectly control the entire Jinxiang Marquis’s household.
More than ten years of understanding collapsed overnight, yet he stood rigidly in place, unable to even let out a mocking laugh. His deeply hated mother, if not for him and his sister, would have died long ago. But in these ten-plus years, aside from disgusting her and causing her trouble, he had almost never done anything to make her happy.
It took him a very long time to find his voice again. With a hoarse throat, he turned his neck to look at the younger Lady Fan and asked her: “Why does she… hate you so much?” Hate you to the point of such insanity?
The younger Lady Fan laughed derisively. Having laid bare before her son the most difficult and unspeakable past, other words no longer seemed hard to speak: “Because with my status as a lowly concubine-born daughter, I occupied the legitimate daughter’s position for fourteen years. Because she felt a concubine-born daughter had stolen her favor for more than ten years, so she feels I owe her.”
Actually, by later on, some grievances could no longer be explained clearly.
For instance, whenever Han Zhengqing was slightly better to her, what she got in return was the elder Lady Fan’s even more severe hysterical revenge and schemes. In this world there probably really was this kind of person—what she couldn’t have, others shouldn’t think of having either, or else they should be cut to pieces.
This kind of person with an almost perverse possessiveness could never stand to see the object of possession have their attention drawn to other things, just like when Han Zhi and Han Yueheng were slightly valued by Han Zhengqing, the elder Lady Fan couldn’t wait to desperately stuff beauties before Han Zhengqing.
But all of this was humiliation to the younger Lady Fan. No matter how well Han Zhengqing treated her, it couldn’t erase the fact that this person had initially colluded with the elder Lady Fan.
She gripped Han Zhi’s hand, urgently yet tenderly comforting him: “You should leave quickly, go far away, and don’t go to Xibei to find your father either. In this world, aside from yourself, no one can be relied upon.”
Han Zhi heard an ominous premonition in her tone. Without thinking, he grasped her hand in return, pressed his lips together, and after a long while squeezed out: “Don’t do anything foolish. Let me figure out a way.”
He hated most being treated like an idiot, hated most being used. Back then he had thought his aunt was the only person who loved him. But in the end, he had been nearly killed without a burial place by this so-called arsenic wrapped in honey.
Thinking of this, he emphasized his tone and looked at the younger Lady Fan: “I’ll make them pay the price. You don’t…”
“It’s too late.” The younger Lady Fan hadn’t expected to see Han Zhi again, much less that there would be a day to explain things clearly. For a moment she was too choked up to speak. After a long while she recovered enough to shake her head: “It’s too late… I’ve already brought Nanny Zhang into the capital. She already knows. Nanny Zhang is dead—I’ll be next.”
Han Zhi squeezed her hand, feeling his finger joints cracking.
He certainly understood what the younger Lady Fan meant. The younger Lady Fan had probably made up her mind to fight the elder Lady Fan to mutual destruction from the day Han Yueheng was to marry and he had news of his death spread.
So she had brought Nanny Zhang into the capital from thousands of miles away, and deliberately let the elder Lady Fan know without concealment. The elder Lady Fan anxiously and hurriedly killed Nanny Zhang, then the younger Lady Fan would use some opportunity to casually reveal to the Prince of Dongping or the Crown Prince the existence of that hairpin. The elder Lady Fan would definitely be unable to resist silencing her.
And to what extent would someone with a guilty conscience go, that they would even make a move against their own younger sister? Connecting it to the Nanny Zhang who had died before, even if the Crown Prince and Prince of Dongping didn’t believe the elder Lady Fan truly had an affair with Han Zhengqing, a thorn would be forever planted in their hearts. This thorn, for a palace consort, was undoubtedly the most fatal. Even if it couldn’t immediately cause the elder Lady Fan’s death, it would be enough to make her live in constant fear, enough to ruin her image and status before the Crown Prince.
The elder Lady Fan had made her live such days for so many years—now it should be her turn.
The younger Lady Fan had never planned to live on. She was going with the intention of destroying both the elder Lady Fan and Han Zhengqing. Han Zhi was about to say something more when suddenly earth-shaking shouts and clamor erupted outside.