After asking Ye Jingchuan a few questions, Old Madam Song and First Madam Song increasingly felt this child was reliable—it wasn’t that they wanted to cast Song Chuyi off. The reality was that sometimes public opinion could be terrifying. Just like that Ninth Miss of Duke Chengguo’s manor, simply because she was deemed possessed by a demon, she was burned in a fire.
They wanted what was best for Song Chuyi. With Prince Zhennan and Ye Jingkuan presiding over the Zhennan Prince’s manor, and with Princess Rongcheng and Her Majesty the Empress’s protection, for them to protect a daughter-in-law who had already married into the Zhennan Prince’s manor would be a very easy matter.
Moreover, Ye Jingchuan was so attentive toward Song Chuyi. Old Madam Song looked at that eight-treasure box, her eyes showing some emotion. Opening it layer by layer, there were gold hairpins like “Bull Gazing at the Moon,” carved with exceptional detail, and crystal zodiac animals so lifelike, with almost every novel jewelry and trinket that young girls liked collected completely. One could see this Second Young Master Ye’s devotion.
But after waiting a long while, they still didn’t see Song Chuyi come in. Just as they were about to have someone go urge her, Yulan lifted her skirt and tiptoed in. Glancing at Second Young Master Ye, her voice was lowered as much as possible. “Sixth Miss walked to the courtyard entrance, then turned and left again…”
Seeing Old Madam Song and First Madam Song’s expressions, Yu Shi guessed that her speculation had probably come true. After thinking for a moment, she stood up and told Old Madam Song she’d go check on Xiang Mingzi, but instead diverted to Song Chuyi’s Guanju Courtyard.
Song Chuyi was just about to go out, wearing a dark green cloak. The dark green cloak, embroidered with orchids and bordered with pink floral trim, set off her skin as exceptionally white, like the finest sheep’s milk pudding, as if one poke would make it overflow.
Yu Shi stepped forward and grasped her hand, only then startled to discover her hand was actually as cold as ice. She couldn’t help but frown. “How long were you just standing in the snow? How is your body so cold?”
With Yu Shi’s arrival, Song Chuyi couldn’t very well leave immediately. She led Yu Shi into the heated room and sat on the daybed with pressed lips, saying nothing.
Qing Ying brought tea for Yu Shi and gently shook her head at her.
Having followed Song Chuyi for so long, she well knew how Song Chuyi differed from ordinary young ladies—what others yearned for was nothing more than a good marriage, a splendid gentleman, but Song Chuyi was completely indifferent to these things, even avoiding them as much as possible.
This time, Yuanhui’s words had indirectly drawn the Empress, the Zhennan Prince’s manor, and their own family to all focus on her marriage prospects. She was truly caught somewhat unprepared.
Yu Shi understandingly grasped Song Chuyi’s hand across the table and asked her softly, “You don’t like Second Young Master Ye?”
It wasn’t a matter of liking or not liking. Song Chuyi only felt that Ye Jingchuan’s cautiousness and exceptional attentiveness made her feel as if she carried a mountain on her back, pressing until she couldn’t breathe.
She wasn’t an ignorant young girl who’d experienced nothing. After experiencing a terrible marriage, to have her continue carrying a sincere heart into marriage was truly asking too much.
Even after her rebirth, she very clearly recognized that she should choose a husband whose family matched theirs in status, who could protect both her and Song Yan. But no matter how well-prepared her heart was, when the moment actually came, she would still feel panicked and afraid.
Compared to Ye Jingchuan’s passionate feelings, she’d rather choose a husband with whom she was together purely for mutual benefit—no love, only discussing cooperation and interests, which would make her feel more at ease.
Yu Shi sighed, stepped forward to embrace her, patting her back just like coaxing a small child. “Xiao Yi, don’t be afraid. This isn’t in your dream… In a person’s life, they’ll meet many people. You can’t assume everyone is bad just because you’ve met one bad person.”
Tears welled up in Song Chuyi’s eyes. She shook her head somewhat in terror. “It’s not that I was once bitten by a snake and now fear ropes for ten years… I also know Second Young Master Ye is very good, but I don’t like him. I no longer know how to like someone… Aunt, he likes me now, and even without getting my response in return, he still feels his efforts are worth it. But what about later?”
She raised her head, clutching at the colorful toggle buttons on her lapel, and lowered her eyes. “When two people live together, it can’t always be romance and moonlight. Since I don’t like him, I’d be willing to take concubines and chamber maids for him. But will Second Young Master Ye one day feel it’s unfair? Feel that the two people’s efforts aren’t equal? Once he has such thoughts, then everything about me that was good in his eyes before will all turn bad.”
Yu Shi hadn’t known she would think so much, so far ahead. Only then did she awaken to the realization—Song Chuyi was after all a child without a mother. The first eight years of her life were spent only being ruined by Li Shi’s unconditional indulgence. No one had even taught her how to love.
Even after having that dream, the pain in the dream far exceeded any joy—her husband didn’t love her and married another, she became a resentful divorced woman, even her son died, and she lived out her life alone and lonely.
Though she’d awakened, the influence that dream had on her followed like a shadow. Song Chuyi’s current thinking was truly too pessimistic. However much she’d liked Shen Qingrang in the dream, that’s how much she now avoided marriage like poison in reality.
Though she seemed to have truly awakened, in fact she hadn’t. She was still immersed in her inner demons, unable to extricate herself. The better Ye Jingchuan treated her, the heavier her sense of guilt and responsibility became. She fundamentally didn’t know how to like someone, nor did she know how to reciprocate such affection, which was why she was so afraid.
She patiently patted Song Chuyi’s back over and over. “I know this matter may not necessarily be settled like this. Don’t be afraid first…”
In this world, where were there truly girls who never married? Other people’s spit alone could drown you.
Yu Shi sighed heavily, but for Song Chuyi to marry with such a mindset—wanting the days to go well would truly be too difficult. She thought for a moment and decided to go back and discuss it with Old Madam Song and Madam Cui.
Although Ye Jingchuan was indeed impeccable, living life together ultimately depended on the two people’s own feelings. No matter how excellent someone was, if the heart harbored dissatisfaction and resentment, being together couldn’t bring happiness—just like Wang Jinsi and Fifth Old Master Song back then. Was Fifth Old Master Song not good? Graceful and elegant, a young presented scholar, with a high-ranking official father, harmonious family customs, and himself a handsome man. But Wang Jinsi was unwilling. No matter how well Fifth Old Master treated her, he couldn’t warm her heart, and the two ultimately became an ill-matched couple. Even the children they bore suffered as a result. Song Chubin and Song Chuyou were such good children, yet were forcibly dragged down by Wang Jinsi to become like this.
Song Chuyi ultimately still hadn’t completely emerged from the shadows. Give her some time, let her go to Jinzhong and stay by Grand Old Madam Cui’s side for a while. Perhaps in these few months’ time, she’d instead have time to think about her own future, and would then understand what kind of life she truly wanted to live.